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AUGUST 23, 2026

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Two policemen and five teens killed in head-on 'TikTok joyride' horror crash

DRAMATIC FULL REPORT INSIDE Pages 4-5

As Palace sources tell MoS of bid to reunite princes, public's verdict on Sussexes' return

POLL: JUST 4% SAY WILLIAM SHOULD MAKE FIRST MOVE IN PEACE TALKS

EXCLUSIVE

By Mark Hookham and Brendan Carlin

PRINCE William should wait for Harry to make the first move in rebuilding the royal brothers' shattered relationship, a major poll revealed last night.

Just 4 per cent of Britons believe the onus is on the Prince of Wales to forge a

peace deal when the Duke and Duchess of Sussex return to the UK in the coming days, according to the survey commissioned by The Mail on Sunday.

With the Royal Family gathered at Balmoral this weekend for their traditional

Turn to Page 6 >>

Meghan's TV comeback has been canned, claims a top royal author

Page 7

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The Mail on Sunday AUGUST 23 • 2026

Weather

UK FORECAST

REGIONAL FORECASTS

London, South East, South, South West, Channel Islands: Morning cloudy, afternoon sunny spells, with light winds, evening mostly clear skies, gentle breeze continuing. Max 250, 750.

Wales, Midlands, East Anglia: Morning: Mostly sunny with light winds. Afternoons: Clear skies, calm. Evening: Mostly clear, cooler, gentle breeze. Max 250, 750. North West, North East: Morning: Mostly sunny, light winds. Afternoons: Mostly cloudy, gentle breeze. Evening: Clearer skies, mild conditions. Max 250, 750. Scotland: Morning: Mostly cloudy, light winds. Afternoons: Sunny intervals, mild breeze. Evening: Mostly cloudy, light winds. Max 150, 650.

Northern Ireland, Eire: Morning mostly cloudy with light winds. Afternoon rain showers: likely, winds picking up. Evening cloudy, winds sealing. Max 150, 650.

YESTERDAY (Various to form) Warmest: Newport (Calais), 2.5c. Coldest: Shop, 3c. Wellest: Warham, 22.50mm. Sunniest: Budie, 11.2hrs.

Barometer (light) - 1022.88mb. Falling. Humidity: 39 per cent.

WEEK AHEAD

Monday starts mostly cloudy with occasional sun breaks. By Tuesday, rain showers spread, becoming more frequent Wednesday with heavier downpours. Thursday brings widespread thunderstorms and rain.

SIX-DAY FORECAST

	MON	TUE	WED	THU	FRI	SAT
LONDON	24	26	27	24	22	23
ABERDEEN	17	16	17	18	17	16
BELFAST	20	19	20	19	18	18
BIRMINGHAM	23	24	24	22	20	21
CAMTERDURY	22	23	25	24	22	23
CARDIFF	23	24	23	25	19	20
GLASGOW	21	19	19	20	18	17
LEEDS	21	21	23	22	20	20
MANCHESTER	23	23	25	21	19	19
NEWCASTLE	20	19	21	21	19	20
NORWICH	21	22	26	25	22	23
PLYMOUTH	23	23	27	21	21	22

CORRECTIONS & CLARIFICATIONS

All our journalists observe the Editors' Code of Practice and the Mail is a member of the Independent Press Standards Organisation (IPSO). We aim to correct any errors as promptly as possible.

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Egg farmers' fury over salmonella advice

BRITISH egg producers have condemned the latest government advice on the salmonella outbreak as 'sowing the seeds of doubt' in the public's mind.

The Food Standards Agency (FSA) yesterday warned that under-8ves, over-65s, pregnant women and those with weakened immune systems should avoid products that might contain uncooked or runny eggs when eating out. But it failed to tell the public that all

By Elizabeth Ivens

eggs marked with the Lion trademark are British and '100% safe', said Mark Williams, chairman of the British Egg Industry Council.

The FSA's Chief Science adviser Ian Young said vulnerable groups should avoid raw or runny eggs but what he didn't say is - and we are quite cross

about this - except for the eggs with the Lion logo. His organisation has written to the FSA to raise 'concern about the clarity of the message he gave', he said.

'There is mixed messaging here which we are concerned could sow the seeds of doubt in the public's mind.'

He also criticised the Government for not naming the source of the outbreak. About 40 million eggs are eaten in the UK a day of which 4 million are imported.

Backbenchers warn PM: Don't sacrifice us at a snap election

By Brendan Carlin and Dan Hodges

ANDY BURNHAM has been warned by his backbenchers that calling a snap general election will mean 'carnage' for scores of new MPs.

The Prime Minister was urged by one to 'get on with the job of governing - not plunge us into uncertainty'.

Last week, The Mail on Sunday revealed that the new PM's inner circle was considering an election next spring in a bid to get him a mandate from the people.

Mr Burnham was advised to think about going to the country two years earlier than he needed to in order to take advantage of the Right-wing vote being split between a struggling Reform UK and the Tories who are yet to fully recover from defections.

Since he took over in July, the PM has also experienced a so-called 'Burnham bounce' which allowed Labour to creep narrowly ahead of Reform in the polls.

He also served in the Cabinet of Gordon Brown, who opted not to call an early election in 2007 when he was ahead in the polls after succeeding Tony Blair - but then lost to David Cameron's Tories in 2010.

Mr Burnham inherited a huge majority of more than 165 Labour MPs from Sir Keir Starmer but he is also bound by the latter's 2024 manifesto.

Now research, carried out by Electoral Calculus for this newspaper, shows that he could get his own comfortable majority of 50 (350 MPs overall) if he could get a lead of almost eight per cent over rivals in the polls and reach a

FULL KIT: The PM yesterday

Andy DOES see you on match day

HE is famous for his dressed-down style, often favouring dark T-shirts.

But only a jacket and tie would do yesterday for Andy Burnham's first visit to watch his beloved Everton since becoming Prime Minister.

Accompanying him to the Hill Dickinson stadium in Liverpool was his wife Marie-France van Heel.

And her husband's smart look appeared to work wonders for Everton on the pitch - they beat Crystal Palace 2-0.

Match report - Pages 90-91

31.6 per cent share of the vote in a general election. But that result would almost certainly be at the expense of about 90 Labour MPs - more than 85 of whom were only elected two years ago in Sir Keir's landslide victory.

Hartlepool MP Jonathan Brash, who was one of the first Labour backbenchers to call for Sir Keir to step down as

PM, would likely lose his seat to Reform in an early election. Other 'new boys' to be sacrificed would include high-flying justice minister Jake Richards who would also be likely to lose his Rother Valley seat to Nigel Farage's party.

And if Labour's overall election vote slipped by just 1.5 per cent, it would mean Home Secretary Shabana

Mahmood would lose her Birmingham Ladywood seat to the Greens. In this scenario, Mr Burnham would also be reduced to a Commons majority of just two.

One Labour MP, who is at risk of losing in a snap poll, drew attention to the decision by Tory PM Theresa May to go for an election in 2017, only to lose her Commons majority.

The MP said: 'May tried this and look where it got her. Don't get carried away by the opinion polls and the Burnham bounce. Presuming that you're going to win a general election in May is a fool's game.

'Get on with the job of governing now - don't plunge us into election uncertainty.'

Another MP warned it would leave 'a bitter taste if the price of Burnham's own mandate was carnage for so many "newbie" Labour MPs who only got in thanks to Starmer and his 2024 landslide'.

Martin Baxter, from Electoral Calculus, said Mr Burnham would need to increase Labour's current poll share by 'six or seven per cent' to get a comfortable majority. He added: 'Even a win would be painful for dozens of Labour backbenchers who would lose their marginal seats'.

But an ally of the PM said he had already ruled out an early election, adding: 'I don't think people want it.'

DID YOU MISS BORIS JOHNSON'S COLUMN IN YESTERDAY'S MAIL? SCAN HERE TO READ IT ON MAIL+

LOTTO NUMBERS

Trick Lotto Battle numbers at bottom, bottom up, up

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28

41

48

57

59

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7

8

20

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22

52

Bonus: 40

The estimated jackpot in last night's Lotto draw was £2million.

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AUGUST 23 • 2026 The Mail on Sunday

DIARY EXCLUSIVE

3

By Harriet Kean

DIARY EDITOR

HAVING trademarked their own names – and even those of their four children – it's no wonder David and Victoria are often known as Brand Beckham.

Now Sir David has taken things an unlikely step further. He has applied to trademark the distinctive rose daughter Harper devised for his 50th birthday present.

The keen gardener proudly unveiled the Sir David Beckham Rose at the Chelsea Flower Show in May and it later went on sale at garden centres nationwide.

The company which handles his commercial interests, DB Ventures, has asked the Intellectual Property Office (IPO) to trademark the shrub rose to ensure no one else can copy it and that it can go on being sold.

The application was made earlier this month and the official process to award a trademark is now under way.

The fragrant white rose was created by luxury flower breeders David Austin Roses at 15-year-old Harper's request as 'something enduring' to celebrate her father's landmark birthday in May last year.

Sir David, an ambassador for the King's Foundation charity, licenses the rose to be sold by the grower from Albrighton in Shropshire through DB Ventures. £2.50 of its £38.50 price is donated to the foundation, which was set up by the then Prince Charles in 1990 and whose work includes education programmes and protecting traditional arts and crafts.

An insider told The Mail

SCENT OF MONEY: Sir David Beckham and daughter Harper with the rose that will raise cash for King's charity

Brand it like Beckham (cont)... Now David even trademarks his 50th birthday rose from Harper

on Sunday that trademarking the rose is part of the official process to protect it and means it can be licensed and sold without any issues, earning as much as possible for the King's Foundation.

When he introduced the rose at Chelsea, Sir David said: 'Gardening brings people together across generations and gives so much pleasure. To be part of something that celebrates that, and

the heritage of the English rose, feels very meaningful to me.'

Trademarking the rose also crucially means his company can take action against anyone who tries to copy it.

Last year he won a lawsuit against hundreds of Chinese counterfeiters, who were permanently banned from ripping off his designer gear. He took the action in the US to stamp out

online vendors from selling David Beckham fake goods on Amazon, eBay, Etsy and Temu.

The David Austin website describes the Beckham rose shrub as 'an upright, strong shrub with an open, balanced habit. The medium sized blooms are deeply cupped, the outer petals gently upturned, opening from soft white with a hint of yellow to clear, fresh white'.

Why playing a round can make your love life go with a swing!

MANY a golf widow might tell you that long hours spent on the course lead to a chap being under par in bed... but now scientists say that the opposite is true.

For when it comes to golfers, it appears that regularly swinging a club on the green is no handicap to your sex life.

In fact, far from the old stereotype of middle-aged men replacing sex with golf, it seems that the sport boosts the libido and keeps

By Roger Dobson

more men sexually active. Golfers are not only more likely to have sex than men who do nothing but also more likely than other sportsmen to do so, according to the first in-depth study of the love lives of men who play the game.

And researchers believe the physics of a golf swing could even be responsible for a good perfor-

mance in bed, pointing out that the swing is 'a complex, whole-body movement requiring both strength and precision, based on a precisely co-ordinated sequence of muscle activations to enable a smooth and repeatable motion'.

The research by the Technical University of Munich examined more than 8,000 men aged around 50 who were divided into three groups – golfers, other sportsmen and those who played no sport. Of

the golfers, 96.7 per cent were still sexually active, compared to 90 per cent of other sportsmen and 85 per cent of non-sporty men.

Around half of the golfers had more sexual partners in their lifetime than the others, the medical journal Urologie reported. These golfers said they had had 11 or more partners while only a third of other sportsmen and three in ten of the inactive men said the same. The research found over a quar-

ter of the golfers had sex twice a week, dropping to less than a fifth of other sportsmen and less than two in ten of the third group.

Golfers were also less likely to suffer from erectile dysfunction with just over a quarter saying it had been an issue compared to a third of other sportsmen and over four in ten of the inactive group.

There were no results on another subject often linked to golfers – their ability to embroider the truth.

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4

AFTERMATH: Emergency responders at the site of the deadly crash between a Volkswagen Passat and a police patrol car on the A66 in South Bank, Middlesbrough, yesterday

By Jacinta Taylor, Sophie Carlin, Kevin Donald and Olivia Christie

TWO armed response officers tragically died in the line of duty when their patrol car was hit head-on by teenage joyriders driving the wrong way on a motorway.

PC Matthew Blades, 38, and PC Tom Clough, 37, were among seven people killed in the crash on the A66 at Middlesbrough yesterday.

The officers and the five occupants of a Volkswagen Passat were all declared dead at the scene.

Last night it emerged Makai Saddington, one of the teenagers killed in the crash, had posted a string of TikTok videos appearing to show him taking part in high-speed police chases.

Cleveland Police lowered flags to half-mast at their Middlesbrough headquarters in tribute to their fallen colleagues, with the force confirm-

'These were brave officers who didn't return home'

ing the uniformed constables were driving their marked armed-response vehicle on the correct side of the A66 before the head-on crash with the 'suspicious' car at 3.39am.

Ring doorbell footage shows that, just three minutes earlier, the VW Passat was driven at speed through Middlesbrough's streets before police halted the chase when the vehicle turned on to the A66 and into the path of the patrol car. It is understood the two officers who were killed were not part of the pursuit.

Since the crash, it has emerged that one of the joyriders, Mr Saddington, posted a string of TikTok clips seemingly showing him taking part in police chases in the months before his death. In one clip, filmed in May by a passenger and set to rap music, the 18-year-old is seen in an Audi being driven at speed through a housing estate with a police car's blue lights flashing in pursuit, before the vehicle veers across a grassy playing field in an apparent bid to shake off officers.

Another video on an account associated with him shows a green Nissan being driven around before it is set alight, while separate images posted elsewhere show him and a friend posing in cars wearing black balaclavas.

The clips reflect a trend of young men filming themselves being pursued by police at high speed, and posting the clips on social media in pursuit of views and likes. The

As flags fly at half-mast and Chief Constable pays an emotional tribute to armed response officers...

Teen in horror crash that killed seven had posted TikTok videos of his high speed police chases ... set to rap music

crash comes just days after five teenagers died in a head-on collision on a motorway in Ireland.

In that incident, the masked youngsters were in a stolen BMW which was travelling the wrong way down the M9 in County Kildare at 2am last Sunday.

Police had tried to pull the stolen car over, but it sped off the wrong way down the M9 to avoid a stinger device that had been deployed to stop the car.

The occupants of the other vehicle – three sisters and a seven-year-old boy – suffered serious injuries in the crash and remain in hospital. Yesterday, the mother of

Mr Saddington's one-year-old son posted on social media: 'What am I supposed to do without ur daft phone calls and u torching (sic) me life's so cruel.'

Other victims were named locally as Michael Ray, Theo Rae and Cole Worthy.

It is understood Mr Saddington and his companions had close links to the traveller community.

Householders in Lime Road, a mile from the crash site, told how they were woken by the noise as the stolen car 'shot down' the street followed by police cars.

Neil Hutchison, 47, said: 'You could tell from the noise that they

were travelling at high speed. Two cars went down the street and then a few seconds later there was a third, they were obviously going after another vehicle. It's tragic that it ended with people dead.'

Chief Constable Victoria Fuller looked close to tears as she told how, together with her deputy David Felton, she had visited PC Blades and PC Clough's distraught families to offer condolences and support 'with this unimaginable loss'.

Paying tribute to the men, she said: 'These were brave officers, protecting our communities and serving our residents, who didn't

return home to their families at the end of their shift.'

She went on to give a sense of the shock and disbelief felt by the officers' colleagues, friends, and the community, adding: 'This is an incredibly sad day for Cleveland.

'The loss has been felt across our communities, by our police family, and by our partner agencies. My thoughts, and the thoughts of everybody here at Cleveland Police, are with their families, friends, colleagues, and loved ones at this incredibly difficult time.'

Lauren Somerville, chairman of the Cleveland Police Federation, said: 'Words cannot describe the

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91

5

PURSUIT CLIPS: Makai Saddington, 18, had posted videos on TikTok of him being chased by police in the past few months

TRAGIC FINAL MOMENTS OF POLICE CHASE

FOOTAGE: Doorbell video shows the chase just minutes beforehand

pain the Cleveland Police family is feeling today.

'Our colleagues who should have been going home to their loved ones at the end of their shifts are not. That is just unfathomable.'

Local MP, Labour's Anna Turley, said: 'They went to work to keep people safe, and they should have come home to their families.'

'Their loss will be felt deeply by their loved ones, fellow officers

'Shot down the street while being followed'

and right across the communities they served.'

The five teenagers who died in the A66 crash have yet to be formally named, but Cleveland Police said all the bereaved families were being supported by specialist police family liaison officers.

It emerged that the Independent Office for Police Conduct opened an investigation into the circumstances surrounding the fatal crash around two hours and thirty minutes after it occurred. Chief

Constable Fuller added: 'While this investigation is ongoing, and out of respect for all those who have lost loved ones, I would strongly urge people to avoid speculation and respect the privacy of the families.'

Residents said they were woken by 'a fleet of ambulances, fire engines and police cars' racing to the scene. The North East Ambulance Service said 14 ambulances, specialist paramedics, a hazardous response team and a doctor from the Great North Air Ambulance Service attended. A spokesman said: 'Sadly, despite the best efforts of everyone attending, a number of patients died at the scene.'

Prime Minister Andy Burnham thanked the emergency services for their response in 'incredibly difficult circumstances'. Writing on X, he added: 'My thoughts are with the families and loved ones of everyone involved.'

Shadow Home Secretary Chris Philp said: 'My thoughts are with the families and friends of those officers killed in the line of duty as well as those serving in Cleveland Police, the wider police family and all the emergency services who attended the scene.'

Craze that claimed five more young lives just a week ago

IT WAS feared last night that the A66 crash may be a copycat tragedy – thanks to the deadly TikTok craze that claimed the lives of five teenagers in a head-on motorway smash in the Irish Republic last week.

In that case, the youngsters, who were all wearing balaclavas in a stolen BMW travelling the wrong way down the country's M9, died at the scene in Co Kildare in the early hours of Sunday.

The deaths of Joey Carthy, 15, Jack Kennedy, 17, Alex McCarthy, 16, Jeremy O'Brien, 18, and 17-year-old Kamil Pustkowski led to public fury at social media platforms after it emerged that the teenagers were filming themselves in the

By Padrak Flanagan

car. That anger intensified on Thursday when TikTok declined an invitation to appear before an Irish parliamentary committee on media to discuss the latest craze of posting videos of people driving the wrong way down motorways.

Sisters Ella Hendricken, who is in her 20s, and Niamh and Alma Kinsella, in their 30s, as well as Alma's seven-year-old son, Yemi, are being treated in hospital for serious injuries after their Hyundai was hit by the BMW.

The innocent victims, from Graiguecullen, Co Carlow, were on their way to Dublin to fly out

for a family wedding in the UK when the teens smashed into their car. Three of the five teens killed in the M9 tragedy were buried on Friday. Two more funerals are due to take place today and on Tuesday.

Videos featuring youngsters in stolen cars trying to bait police into high-speed chases have become a macabre trend.

Mary Aiken, a professor of forensic cyber-psychology at the University of East London, told The Guardian: 'While driving, they're simultaneously filming and capturing content for posting later or live streaming. They have one foot in the real world and one foot in cyberspace. They're thinking about the likes... about kudos.'

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6

RETURN OF THE PRODIGAL PRINCE

Will there be truce

►► From Page 1

summer holiday, senior courtiers are still reeling from the astonishing news that Harry and Meghan are on the verge of moving back to Britain after six years in the US.

The dramatic decision, of which the King was informed only last Sunday, has immediately thrown the spotlight on the bitter rift between William, 44, and Harry, 41. The brothers have not spoken to each other since Queen Elizabeth's funeral in September 2022 and it is believed there has not been any sort of contact for more than two-and-a-half years.

Friends of the Waleses are said to have claimed the couple are unable to forgive a series of hugely damaging broadsides by the Sussexes after 'Megxit' in 2020, including a claim in Harry's memoir Spare that William left him with visible 'scrapes and bruises' after an

'A rapprochement between them is a work in progress'

alleged fight between the pair. Now a poll for the MoS by Find Out Now reveals that 31 per cent of those surveyed believe Harry should 'make the first move' in any attempted reconciliation with William.

Some 27 per cent believe they should make amends equally together, while just 4 per cent believe William should make the first move. A total of 11 per cent said neither should make the first move and 28 per cent said they do not know.

Among the duke and duchess's most damaging accusations was the claim during an incendiary interview in 2021 with Oprah Winfrey that an unnamed royal had 'concerns and conversations' about how dark their then-unborn son Archie's skin may be. William later publicly stated that the Royal Family is 'very much not a racist family'

The poll of 2,000 people found that 43 per cent believe the Sussexes should apologise for their comments. Just over a quarter said they should not apologise and 31 per cent said they do not know.

The results come as royal insiders claim that one of the King's most trusted aides has made it his 'number one task' to repair the rift between William and Harry.

Former diplomat Theo Rycroft, who became deputy private secre-

tary to the King in February, is said to hope that William could publicly acknowledge his brother. This, it claimed, could be as simple as appearing at the same event or in the same photograph.

'A rapprochement between William and Harry remains a work in progress, and Theo is taking the lead,' one source told the MoS.

Another said: 'Under Theo's watch William could publicly acknowledge his brother somehow. No one is expecting them to be friends but the drama has to end, for William's sake as much as anyone's.'

A source close to the King last night denied the claims, describ-

ing them as 'baseless' and 'without foundation'. A source close to William also disputed their accuracy.

Those hoping for a reconciliation are pinning their hopes on a major

'It is a private matter, not one for advisers'

black-tie event to be hosted on September 18 by The Diana Award, a charity in which both William and Harry act as patrons. The charity, which celebrates

young people who make a difference to the lives of others, is a crucial organisation for the princes, as it has played a key role in keeping their mother's memory alive.

Next month's event at the OWO Hotel in central London will mark the beginning of the build-up to the 30th anniversary next summer of Princess Diana's death.

In recent years William and Harry have taken turns to participate in the charity's events. The MoS understands William is not currently due to attend next month's event and it is not known if the Sussexes will be there.

One senior royal observer last

night cautioned that the ability of senior courtiers to influence any possible rapprochement between the brothers is strictly limited.

The source said: 'It is not a matter for the advisers or the royal household. This is family and they'll try to sort it out themselves, in private. Of course, the royal household would like a smooth path, reconciliation would make that smoother. It would make their lives much easier. But they have no serious influence to make it happen. It would be seen as overreaching.'

'The King would like his sons to be on good terms. He's living with cancer and doesn't want his family

RIFT: William and Harry in 2022 after Elizabeth II's death

Now I fear I'll never get a chance to meet my grandchildren, says Meghan's father

THE Duchess of Sussex's estranged father says he feels 'hurt and upset' that she and Harry are returning to the UK without introducing him to his grandchildren - and fears he will now never meet them.

Thomas Markle, 82, learnt that Meghan and her family were returning to Britain when he watched the news.

The retired movie and television lighting director is recovering in a US rehabilitation centre after having his left leg amputated below the knee. He

FROM Caroline Graham

IN LOS ANGELES

has never met Harry or his grandchildren, Archie, seven, and five-year-old Lilibet.

Mr Markle told The Mail on Sunday: 'I saw on CNN that they were returning to England. I found out about it at the same time as the rest of the world.

'I'm hurt and upset that she doesn't give a damn about me, even though I'm in hospital.' He added: 'Meghan used to love me,

she was always a daddy's girl, and now it's like I don't exist. I have never met my grandchildren and now they are leaving America.

'One day those kids will ask about their 'other' grandfather - the one who isn't King - the one that Meghan and Harry are apparently ashamed of.

'I hope they know how much I wanted to meet them.'

Mr Markle underwent the amputation in December after developing a potentially fatal blood clot while living in the

Philippines. He underwent surgery before returning to the US earlier this year. Mr Markle said: 'While they were in the US, I always hoped they might come and see me. Now they are leaving, that hope has gone.'

His relationship with Meghan deteriorated after he posed for paparazzi photos in the run-up to her 2018 wedding. She has not spoken to him since then.

But Mr Markle insisted: 'I will never stop loving my daughter but I will never understand why she turned her back on me.'

LOST BOND: Mr Markle with Meghan

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7

at tribute to Diana?

EXCLUSIVE MOS POLL

APPROVE OF HARRY AND MEGHAN'S DECISION TO RETURN TO LIVE IN THE UK:

No	34%
Yes	27%
Don't know	39%

WHICH BROTHER SHOULD MAKE THE FIRST MOVE TO RECONCILIATION:

Harry	31%
William	4%
Both equally	27%
Don't know	28%

SHOULD WHO PAY FOR THEIR SECURITY IN UK:

Harry and Meghan	68%
Taxpayers	2%
The couple & taxpayers	12%
Don't know	17%

SHOULD THE KING PROVIDE THEM WITH OFFICIAL RESIDENCE:

No	56%
Yes	16%
Don't know	28%

SHOULD THEY BECOME WORKING ROYAL FAMILY MEMBERS AGAIN:

Yes	16%
No	50%
Don't know	34%

HARRY & MEGHAN'S RETURN WILL MAKE MONARCHY STRONGER:

No difference	45%
Weaker	22%
Stronger	8%
Don't know	25%

HARRY & MEGHAN SHOULD APOLOGISE FOR IMPLYING ROYAL FAMILY WERE RACIST:

Yes	43%
No	26%
Don't know	31%

WHY HAVE THE COUPLE RETURNED TO UK:

Harry is homesick	16%
Children's schools	19%
Financial reasons	36%
To reconcile with Royal Family	11%
Meghan's acting career	12%
None of the above	5%
Don't know	38%

SHOULD HARRY BE ALLOWED TO LAY A WREATH AT THE CENOYAPH ON BENEMBRANCE SUNDAY:

Yes	36%
No	34%
Don't know	30%

Find Out Now surveyed 2,000 people on Friday, August 21.

divided. And, yes, he is talking to William about it in private.

'But no one will be pressuring William, let alone telling him what to do. William is no fool, but he can be volatile and no one wants confrontation. Meanwhile, there is a general feeling of mistrust around Harry.'

Security officials are reportedly believed to be planning to restart their review of Harry's claim for taxpayer-funded security. The Royal and VIP Executive Committee was previously examining whether the Sussexes should automatically be given armed protection each time they visited the UK.

But the couple's decision to live at an undisclosed non-royal residence outside of London may change the committee's consideration of security. Experts last week told the Daily Mail that round-the-clock protection for a family could cost £3million to £3million a year. Today's MoS-commissioned poll shows an overwhelming majority - 68 per cent - believe Harry and Meghan should pay solely for their security. Just 2 per cent said tax-

payers should pay, while 12 per cent said the duke and duchess and the public should both contribute and 17 per cent did not know.

The public, however, appears split on the couple's decision to return to the UK, with 27 per cent agreeing with the decision, 34 per cent disagreeing and 39 per cent responding 'don't know'.

Additional reporting: Nicholas Pyke Comment: Page 22

By Caroline Graham and Codie Bullen

MEGHAN Markle's return to acting has reportedly been 'cancelled' amid criticism over plans to cast her in the third season of The Gentlemen.

Royal author Tina Brown claimed last night that an offer for the Duchess of Sussex to appear in Guy Ritchie's hit Netflix show had been withdrawn after the reaction in Britain became too 'intense'.

Ms Brown said: 'I learned that the casting of Meghan Markle has been withdrawn. The backlash was so intense it became untenable to go forward.'

In her 'Fresh Hell' Substack newsletter, the author wrote: 'This does not bode well for Meghan's acting comeback.'

Just four years ago, Meghan insisted she had no plans to return to acting. In 2022, she told Variety magazine: 'I'm done. I guess never say never but my intention is to absolutely not.'

Now, however, her return to the screen has been touted by sources 'close to the duchess' as one of the reasons she and Prince Harry are returning to Britain.

But commentators have suggested that any acting role for Meghan and a subsequent return to the spotlight could be problematic both for the Sussexes and the Royal Family in general.

Baroness Wheatcroft, speaking on BBC Radio 4's Today programme, said: 'The first thing any actress wants is publicity and Meghan may be a good actress. She is certainly going to be offered roles but she has to be very careful when the inevitable interviews come along not to embarrass the royals.'

Before marrying Harry, Meghan enjoyed a successful seven-season run as Rachel Zane in the legal drama Suits. She reportedly earned around $40,000 per episode by the time her final episode aired in April 2018 - just one month before she walked down the aisle at St. George's Chapel in Windsor.

Meghan has a small cameo in the upcoming film Close Personal Friends, starring Brie Larson and Lily Collins. But a source connected with the project described the appearance to The Mail on Sunday as little more than fleeting. A role in Ritchie's The Gentlemen would have marked a far more significant return to acting.

Last night Netflix declined to comment while a spokesman for the duchess refused to confirm or deny that the offer had been withdrawn.

The possibility of Meghan

Was Duchess dropped from Guy Ritchie's Netflix hit over fan backlash?

appearing in the show emerged last week with sources claiming she was in 'advanced discussions' about joining the third season.

The Gentleman, based on Ritchie's 2019 film of the same name, follows an English aristocrat who discovers that the estate he has inherited conceals a lucrative marijuana-growing operation.

The second season arrives on Netflix next month.

Reports that Ritchie was considering creating a role for Meghan were met with an immediate torrent of online criticism.

On Netflix's Instagram account for The Gentlemen, one viewer warned: 'If Guy Ritchie hires Markle to go on Season 3, his ratings will drop fast.'

Another wrote: 'Many will boycott The Gentlemen if MM is in the cast. I loved the series but cannot watch the new series if she is in it.'

Others said they would refuse to watch the programme 'out of principle', citing anger over Meghan's claims about her treatment by the Royal Family.

A source at Disney studios told The MoS last night: 'Every so often people around [Hollywood] get calls about whether there are any gigs for Meghan but she's a polarising choice... She's not someone I would want in one of my shows because you're alienating a large part of your audience before you shoot a single frame.'

Tina Brown believes the duchess may have become too toxic for mainstream TV roles.

The author of The Diana Chronicles and The Palace Papers told the MoS: 'The backlash was too intense for Ritchie to proceed.'

Meghan and Harry signed a $100million five-year deal with Netflix in 2020, but that lapsed last year with the streaming giant declining to renew it. Their Harry & Meghan docuseries was the most-viewed in Netflix history, but subsequent projects failed. The lifestyle show 'With Love, Meghan' attracted mixed reviews and was not renewed, while Harry's 'Polo' series was a flop.

But the MoS has learned that Meghan could find success in the theatre. Mark Borkowski, a West End PR expert, said: 'I've had two West End managements calling me up for a PR view on if they should approach Meghan... They were asking if she would sell tickets and I told them absolutely.'

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8

RETURN OF THE PRODIGAL PRINCE

SOCIAL WHIRL: The Cotswolds' showbiz Soho Farmhouse set will welcome Meghan

BACK in the good old days before Megxit, the Sussexes and the Waleses were dubbed the 'Fab Four'. Fresh, good-looking, in tune with the younger generation: They were the photogenic future of the monarchy.

Then it all went pear-shaped and now the brothers seem to be permanently at war, their differences reportedly irreconcilable.

All they have in common is the memory of their mother Princess Diana – and not even her ghost seems able to make them put their enmity to one side.

How it would pain her – as it pains every parent and no doubt King Charles too – to see her children so divided. But few can blame the Prince of Wales for being less than thrilled at the prospect of his errant sibling planning a permanent return to Britain.

Time and again since his departure six years ago, Prince Harry has attacked the future King. Who can forget his patronising dismissal of Prince William's commitment to his royal duties, describing him in that devastating Oprah interview as 'trapped'.

And what about the accusation of 'unconscious bias' in relation to an alleged discussion about the possible colour of Archie's skin?

Harry did not name the supposed culprits, but a Dutch version of his memoir 'Spare' (which the publishers claimed had been printed in error) pointed the finger at two senior members of the royal family.

Then there was that stuff about the bridesmaids' dresses in which he accused the Princess of Wales of reducing his bride to tears, leaving her 'sobbing on the floor'.

He even mocked his brother's hair loss, describing it as 'alarming', and twisting the knife by adding that William's 'famous resemblance to Mummy' had faded.

Those are just a few of the well-documented salvos aimed at his older brother by Harry. Yet William has never fought back publicly, never said a bad word about the Sussexes.

Regardless of how he may feel about it all in private, he has always taken his cue from his grandmother, the late Queen Elizabeth, and done his best to remain inscrutable.

Whether he will be able to maintain such dignity now that Harry is coming home remains to be seen. It's one thing having the Sussexes lab their 'truth bombs' from afar; quite another when it's in your own backyard, as they will

There's a new Fab Four now... and I wouldn't want to be in Meghan's shoes facing them across the damask in the drawing room at Balmoral Saral's Vine

inevitably be. Especially if it's Harry's intention to worm his way back into the royal fold and reclaim what he sees as his birthright now that all his other options seem to have dried up.

Who could blame William if he were finally to lose his composure and snap as he did during the famous 'dog bowl' incident, where the brothers came to blows after William accused Meghan of being 'difficult', 'rude' and 'abrasive'.

There's only so far you can push someone before they reach breaking point and Harry seems to have very little self-control when it comes to poking the bear.

That will need to change for this to work. Harry may hope to be welcomed back like the prodigal son; but he will need to learn to bite his tongue and keep his place.

After all, however much his father may delight in his return, William is the future King and Harry is on his turf now.

It is William, ultimately, who will determine Harry's position within the Royal Family once the succession passes to him. Harry would do well to be mindful of this in his approach.

He's not in California any more, surrounded by celebrity sycophants and yes-men only too eager to lap up his psychodrama.

Back home, William is the one

who holds all the cards and his future power ensures that only the boldest (or most arrogant) will side with Harry.

Of course, the Sussexes will have no shortage of powerful allies and acolytes beyond immediate royal circles. If it's true that they intend to settle in the Cotswolds, where London's rich and fashionable go to cosplay being country folk at the weekends, standing out like sore thumbs in their suspiciously

'Who could blame William if he were to finally snap?'

shiny Range Rovers and spotless wellies, they will have no shortage of invitations.

That wealthy showbiz Soho Farmhouse set will welcome the Sussexes with open arms and gravitate to the new arrivals like bees to honey (or wasps to Meghan's sickly strawberry jam).

Indeed, if it's also true that the duchess has been offered a role in the new series of Guy Ritchie's wildly successful Netflix show

The Gentlemen, they already have. Archie and Lilibet will have no shortage of new friends – indeed I'll wager that every parent at every prep school in the area is busy dreaming up ruses for their little ones to cross paths with the royal siblings. You can just hear those elbows being sharpened.

It will be a social whirl of parties and playdates – and believe me, that set knows how to have fun.

But there are other circles – more old money, more aristocratic, fiercely aligned to the King – where the couple will not be so welcome. And they will not take kindly to any Sussex shenanigans on home turf. No one knows how to freeze someone out like the British upper classes.

Truth is, things have changed a great deal since the Sussexes left six years ago. Far from being diminished by their absence (as no doubt they had hoped), the Royal Family has grown in both strength and popularity.

Adversity seems to have brought out the best in them. While Harry and Meghan have been throwing tantrums, alliances have formed in support of one another, and new players have come to the fore.

In particular, the royal women have, each in their own way, stepped up to the plate and really established themselves as forces

in their own right. Queen Camilla, the Princess of Wales, the Duchess of Edinburgh and stalwart Princess Anne: they have shown what strength there can be in quiet perseverance. They now represent a formidable quartet of soft power, one which is aligned in its unfailing loyalty to the King and the legacy of the Crown.

All are working royals, 100 per cent dedicated to public life. Between them they carry out a huge number of official engagements, rarely if ever putting a foot wrong.

They work hard, keep their heads down and operate with a mixture of dedication and discretion that is the very definition of royal duty.

At every turn in the Megxit saga, these four remarkable women have presented a united front, sharing the workload left by the Sussexes' absence with grace and gusto, earning the respect and affection of the British public along the way.

It is they who are now the Fab Four, the pillars of the House of Windsor. And if Meghan and Harry don't keep their noses clean, they will soon discover that they can also be formidable adversaries.

Not only are these women individually liked by the British

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AUGUST 23 • 2026 The Mall on Sunday

9

FOUR-MIDABLE: The devoted, loyal and hard-working Princess of Wales, Queen Camilla, Duchess of Edinburgh and Princess Royal

people (they all rank in the top six most popular royals, with the Princess of Wales at No 2 after her husband, Princess Anne No 3, and the Duchess of Edinburgh and Queen Camilla Nos 5 and 6 respectively), together they fulfil all the requirements of what it means to be a royal.

Where once Meghan seemed like a breath of fresh air, a much-needed injection of carefree glamour into a rather stuffy and old-fashioned institution, now they have no need of her.

Catherine and Sophie provide the glamour, Queen Camilla and Princess Anne the experience and wisdom. Meghan, with all her histrionics, is surplus to requirements. And unlike the Duchess of Sussex (who was never especially keen on carrying out her duties as a working royal), they are grafters, not grifters.

Princess Anne is the one who takes on the lion's share of public engagements – almost 500 last year alone. Sophie, Duchess of

Edinburgh, is second in that league table (235 last year), with Queen Camilla only slightly behind at 228, which given her age (79) is quite a remarkable tally.

The Princess of Wales, understandably given her recent illness, has been less active (68 last year) – but her appearances have a major impact. Either way, between

'Unlike Meghan the four are grafters, not grifters'

the four of them they carried out more than 1,000 public engagements last year with not a single grumble or word of complaint.

But it's not just their hard work that matters, it's also their strength of character, stoicism and unwavering loyalty to the British people and the institution they serve. These are old-fashioned values that stand out in the modern world – and even more precious for it. They are also

acutely aware of their privilege and mindful of their duties in respect of that privilege – again, in contrast to the entitled Sussexes.

Crucially, they are genuinely invested in the future of the monarchy: they know they are mere custodians of their respective roles and understand – as the late Queen did – that the institution will endure long after they have gone.

Unlike Harry and Meghan, who seem to believe the opposite – that the monarchy exists to serve them (and help them make money) – the new Fab Four understand, appreciate and respect the Crown.

Yes, they have their own passions and pursuits (the Princess of Wales's photography, Princess Anne's horse riding) – but they don't trade on their royal status.

All four have worked very hard to earn the love and respect of the British people and they don't take any of it for granted. Camilla especially has had to earn her stripes in the face of understandable hostility towards her for the way her affair with King Charles profoundly affected Princess Diana.

But she has worked tirelessly to redeem herself and her support for the King, especially during his illness, has been invaluable. She

knows she will never win over everyone; but she has done as much as anyone in her difficult position could ever do to make things right.

The way that each of these women has faced adversity and overcome it gives them a strength that Meghan and Harry, who have always blamed everyone else for their troubles, and never seemed able to accept responsibility for their mistakes, simply lack.

If anyone can safeguard the King and Prince William from the inevitable psychodrama that will accompany the return of Harry and Meghan, it is they. I certainly would not want to find myself in Meghan's shoes, facing all four of them across the damask in the drawing room at Balmoral.

They will be the key to any attempt by the Sussexes to re-establish themselves in royal circles. Such is their influence with royal menfolk that without their endorsement there can be no real prospect of a return to the fold.

That is not to say it cannot happen; but if the Sussexes attempt to hurt or undermine the royal family, or pull a fast one as they have done in the past, they will have these four queens to answer to.

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10

RETURN OF THE PRODIGAL PRINCE

STATELY HOME: Althorp House, the family seat of Earl Spencer, below

Spencer was happy to offer Prince a home – but he had his own plans

THE Duke and Duchess of Sussex will not move to the 13,000-acre estate where Harry's mother Princess Diana grew up, The Mail on Sunday can reveal.

This newspaper has learned that Earl Spencer, Harry's uncle, was prepared to offer a house to the Duke and Duchess of Sussex at Althorp, the estate in Northamptonshire that has been the Spencer family home for over 500 years.

The Sussexes, however, did not make such a request during a weekend stay with their children there last month. Instead, they are understood to have pinpointed a property in the Cotswolds as their UK home when they return here in the coming days.

Harry remained close to Charles Spencer after his and Meghan's dramatic decision in 2020 to quit as senior royals and forge a new life across the Atlantic.

The Duke has visited Althorp, Diana's childhood home and where she is buried, a number of times in recent years, including what has been described as a 'blissful' few days spent with his wife and their two children last month.

In family photographs shared by the Duchess on Instagram, Prince Archie, Princess Lilibet and Prince Harry can be seen walking down a tree-lined avenue on the estate.

In one picture, the Duke and his seven-year-old son can be seen carrying bouquets, which are thought to have been laid at Diana's grave. In another photo, Harry playfully launches his daughter through the air at a pool on the estate, while Meghan swims in the background.

The photographs fuelled speculation that the family could move to a property on the estate. In an

EXCLUSIVE

By Mark Hookham

article published last week, royal biographer and former Vanity Fair editor Tina Brown wrote: 'It is widely thought that Charles Spencer will offer up a house at Althorp, which sits on 13,000 acres in Northamptonshire.'

But a source close to the Earl last night denied the claim, 'If Harry had asked his uncle for a property at Althorp, he would have done all he could to find him somewhere suitable,' the source said. 'But he [Harry] has made his own plans.'

The MoS understands that Earl Spencer was unaware that the Duke and Duchess of Sussex were on the brink of moving to the UK.

Indeed, it is believed that the first he knew of his nephew's plans was last Thursday morning when the story broke in the newspapers.

'It was known that he [Harry] wanted to come back but it was not known that it was imminent,' the source added.

It has been suggested Meghan may have visited two schools in the Cotswolds when Prince Harry attended an Invictus Games event in July, while sources said the Sussexes could be moving to a home owned by a celebrity in the area.

Earl Spencer offered Diana the use of the 16th-century Worm-leighton Manor in Warwickshire after the breakdown of her marriage with the then Prince Charles. However, she declined the offer.

SIX years after Harry and Meghan stormed out of Britain to become mega-rich Hollywood stars, they have been forced to humiliatingly retreat. The embrace of Tinseltown's A-listers has loosened and they finally came to the conclusion that their diminishing status could seriously challenge their financial security.

Perhaps Harry fears that once his brother becomes king, William will strip the Sussexes of their titles in much the same way the King did with Andrew. Deprived of the ability to trade on their royal status, the Sussexes would be reduced to relative penury.

In the coarsest terms, the Sussexes are not returning to Britain as born-again royalists and patriots. They will return to the country they so outrageously damned in successive media appearances because they are desperate.

Once ensconced at their rented home – probably in the Cotswolds – the Sussexes will pose as traditional English country gentry for wholly selfish reasons.

Only Britain offers them the chance of restoring their battered spirits by adopting a relatively low-cost, privileged lifestyle, while attempting to worm their way back into the lives of Harry's aristocratic friends and, ultimately, the Royal Family.

For some time, the Sussexes' critics have been anticipating their downfall. Despite the fanfare that accompanied their arrival in California in 2020, realists wondered how the couple would sustain a career lucrative enough to finance their desire for an A-list lifestyle.

Not least maintaining their Montecito home, now worth over £20million, which has running costs of at least £1.5million a year.

The answer, they discovered during the Oprah Winfrey interview, was by betraying the Royal Family's trust with a succession of headline-grabbing claims. Not

'They are not born-again royalists – they are desperate'

least, Meghan's vile allegation that, when she was pregnant with her first child, Archie, unnamed members of the Royal Family had 'concerns and conversations about how dark his skin might be'.

Meghan's reward was global fame. As for Harry, his former admirers were puzzled as to why he wrote an autobiography filled with poisonous and inaccurate comments about his family.

Could he really have betrayed his father and brother just to land a $20million contract? Probably not, his friends would say. Aggrieved Harry, say his defenders, just needed to settle scores. Well, mission accomplished.

In his book and subsequent interviews and speeches, Harry never resisted any opportunity to damn King Charles, Queen Camilla and William. On the eve of their return to Britain, the Sussexes' critics demand that these traitors be given no mercy.

The couple's supporters will counter-argue that their surrender should be greeted with Christian forgiveness. After years of aggression, they have seen the error of their ways.

Forget the bad blood, the Sussexes' supporters say, and

By TOM BOWER

embrace the chance of new relationships among the family and between the Sussexes and the British public.

Cynics may wonder whether any peace offering by the Sussexes – and the world waits to hear whether Meghan and Harry will actually seek forgiveness – will be genuine. But there is no doubt that King Charles is willing to listen.

Among the serious casualties of the Sussexes' Blitzkrieg was the King. Undoubtedly, he now feels vulnerable. Not only because of the threat that his life may be cut short by cancer but also his sense of guilt over the damage he caused Harry by conducting an extra-marital affair with Camilla and ultimately breaking up the family unit.

In those circumstances any decent father will forgive his son, regardless of his sins, not least in order to forge a relationship with his two grandchildren.

During the Sussexes' visit to Highgrove last month, the atmosphere was, according to an insider, 'polite with no recrimination.' Queen Camilla – fixed smile in place – offered tea to her stepson despite his public denunciation of her as 'evil' and it would appear that the goodwill shown calmed the Sussexes' fear of returning.

Such a scene of domesticity is unlikely to be repeated in William and Kate's home. The Sussexes have publicly targeted both Waleses with unprecedented cruelty and William and Kate have every reason to fear the consequences of their return to Britain.

Even before her marriage, Meghan's apparent envy of Kate suffocated any chance of friendship and following the hateful stories Harry and Meghan spewed on Netflix, Oprah Winfrey and in podcasts, William and Kate are, understandably, in an unforgiving mood. Among their most notorious encounters was the teatime

'reconciliation meeting' between the brothers and their wives after the Sussexes returned from their honeymoon in 2018.

Tempers flared when, in a discussion about the tearful argument Meghan had with Kate before her wedding, Harry's new wife said: 'That was because of your hormones.'

'You talk about my hormones,' responded Kate, with a wide-eyed glare: 'We're not close enough for you to talk about my hormones.'

'It's no big deal,' Meghan replied. 'It's baby brain.'

'That's rude, Meghan,' William interrupted, jabbing his finger at her face.

'If you don't mind, get your finger out of my face,' Meghan snapped in response.

William's dislike of Meghan had been obvious after his warning to Harry before their engagement. 'It's gone too quickly,' he said, referring to his brother's girlfriend as 'the American actress'.

William's reservations were shared by his wife and they will now fear that Meghan will be out for more revenge.

Even before the wedding, many royals had concluded that the clever and stylish Meghan lacked the qualities required for a life of public service.

Meghan would later tell the tennis champion Serena Williams that the Royal Family 'hates'

'Such a scene is unlikely to be repeated in William's home'

ambition. That, she said, was associated with vulgar pushiness.

Before the wedding, Queen Elizabeth had been warned about Meghan's unsuitability by a senior member of the Establishment. After a series of conversations with Meghan, he reported that she was unwilling to submit to the Royal Family's hierarchy.

If she could not have number-one status, Meghan had hinted, she would return to California and

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11

Camilla – a fixed smile in place – offered tea to Harry, despite his public denunciation of her as ‘evil’. It appears that goodwill gesture calmed the Sussexes’ fears about returning

exploit her status there. Once in self-imposed exile, of course, the Sussexes let loose.

During their ‘royal’ visit to Nigeria in 2024, for example, Meghan denounced the Royal Family as racist during a dinner with the country’s senior army officers by repeating her claim that a question had been raised about how dark her child’s skin would be.

At the same event, Harry spoke about his mother’s ‘murder’, leaving their hosts convinced that Diana was murdered by the Royal

Family because she was pregnant with Dodi Fayed’s Muslim child.

As they return to live in the UK, the big question is: what will the champions of ‘Finding Freedom’ – the title of a 2020 hagiography – actually do here?

For Harry, the answer is clear. He will try to rebuild his career as a frontman for charities. With the Royal Family depleted, there is a dearth of young royals able to patronise the hundreds of charities desperately seeking publicity and wealthy benefactors. Harry,

who spent ten years in the military, will also make overtures to his beloved Army in the hope that officers might be willing to forget his recent errors, not least his boast about killing 25 members of the Taliban while serving as a helicopter pilot in Afghanistan.

In parallel, he will seek to restore his life as an English gentleman, which will mean a return to country pursuits such as shooting pheasants and fishing in Scotland. He will also attempt to build bridges with old friends.

More challenging will be Meghan’s fate in Britain. Relatively friendless before Megxit, she could well feel isolated without her American pals.

She will undoubtedly form relationships with the mothers of her children’s school friends. Thereafter, in her bid for reincarnation as a ‘good person’, Meghan is certain to discreetly seek charities willing to take the risk of enlisting her as a patron, despite her notoriety.

Despite her success in legal TV drama Suits and talk of an offer to

FORGIVENESS? Harry and Meghan in their bombshell Netflix series and, right, the King and Queen at the Royal Horticultural Society Flower Show last month

return to acting, only the naive would take her prospects of a successful film career seriously.

She is an intelligent woman who will have learned lessons from the missteps she has taken and the media exposés she has been subjected to. However, if she is streetwise enough to forge a path of eventual redemption, it could be her greatest performance.

The golden opportunity is next year’s Invictus Games in Birmingham. Harry cares deeply about this cause, but his long-held plan to use the event to engineer his return to the Royal Family should not be underestimated. Ever since

‘The question is, what will they actually do here?’

he chose the city as host, he has lobbied Buckingham Palace to ensure that the King attends.

Equally important is Meghan’s presence at the tournament. Despite the Games’ invaluable mission to celebrate the military’s sacrifice, media coverage of Invictus has been conditional on an endless stream of photographs of her. Harry knows the success of the competition largely depends on Meghan being in the spotlight.

In the countdown to the event, I am sure he will use the Games to help orchestrate the rehabilitation of himself and his wife.

Harry’s gamble is enormous. Win or lose, this time next year he will have the option to either stay in Britain or return to the US. Only then will we find out if the Sussexes’ homecoming was born of a desire to put down roots here, or just a ruse to restore their status in California.

● Tom Bower is author of Betrayal: Power, Deceit And The Fight For The Future Of The Royal Family.

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The Mail on Sunday AUGUST 25 • 2026

To order your print of this or any other Mac cartoon, visit Mailpictures.newsprints.co.uk or call 0198 6000 179

'Gosh, Dad. When Meghan heard that Buckingham Palace was now unoccupied that was the clincher! So if you would leave the key under the mat...'

Did Burnham breach MP rules by failing to declare £6,600 party in Japan?

ANDY BURNHAM was last night facing claims that he has breached Commons rules by not declaring hospitality worth thousands of pounds.

The Mail on Sunday can reveal the Prime Minister has not declared that he benefitted from an exclusive VIP party in June last year as Mayor of Manchester.

The £6,600 party, given in his honour during a trip to Japan, was held exactly one year before Mr Burnham was re-elected as an MP.

But under strict Commons rules, MPs must disclose all relevant financial interests for the previous 12 months before they are elected.

Last night he was challenged to declare the interest immediately or be reported to the parliamentary standards commissioner.

Tory MP Charlie Dewhirst said: 'At a time when the declaration of gifts is under such a spotlight and after all of Keir Starmer's problems with freebies, it is surprising that the Prime Minister hasn't been more transparent. He should declare this immediately and apol-

By Gabriel Millard-Clothier and Brendan Carlin

ogise for his carelessness. If not, then the parliamentary standards commissioner should investigate at once.'

Number 10 insisted last night that the reception had not been declared because the overall visit by the then Manchester mayor had started before the 12-month reporting period for newly-elected MPs.

A spokesman said: 'The PM went on this trip in his official capacity as Mayor of Greater Manchester.

'This was not registered as the trip began before the registration period.'

However, the MoS understands that the PM's office will now check with the standards commissioner over whether the party should be declared.

Before he returned to the Commons in June, Mr Burnham earned the nickname 'Air Miles Andy' for

his love of foreign trips as Mayor of Manchester.

In June 2025, he went on a trade mission to Japan, with his staff then boasting it was the 'largest-ever UK delegation' to the country. As part of the five-day trip, Mr Burnham was the guest of honour at an evening ballroom reception in Osaka, paid for by his Japanese city hosts.

However, no record of the hospi-

'After all Keir Starmer's problems it's surprising'

tality currently appears in his MPs' declaration of interests.

Reform UK leader Nigel Farage is facing accusations that he has broken the same declaration rules by not disclosing a £5 million donation received in the year before he became an MP although Mr Farage has denied any breach.

The row over the party in Japan

comes at a time when MPs are under fire for taking £400,000 worth of gifts and hospitality so far this year, despite the outcry in 2024 over Sir Keir Starmer accepting football tickets and clothing.

The list of 'freebies' accepted included £1,400 for Wimbledon singles final seats, £3,400 for Brit Awards tickets and £1,800 for exclusive access to the Chelsea Flower Show.

Last night, TaxPayers' Alliance campaign director William Yarwood said: 'Taxpayers will be sickened to see MPs helping themselves to hundreds of thousands of pounds in freebies while households are squeezed by sky-high taxes.

'Concerts, race days, flower shows and corporate hospitality look far too much like the Westminster gravy train carrying on exactly as before.

'MPs should show some restraint, stop acting like lobbyists' VIP guests and focus on delivering value for the people paying their wages.'

TikTok pays $400m to settle child privacy case

By Elizabeth Ivens

TIKTOK has agreed to pay $400million (£293million) to settle a landmark case in the US for violating children's online privacy in what is being hailed as 'a major victory for parents and their children'.

The social media and video platform app agreed on Friday to one of the largest-ever settlements by a tech firm after it was accused of illegally harvesting the details of millions of users aged under 13.

The US Department of Justice sued TikTok and its Chinese former parent company ByteDance in 2024 for allegedly failing to protect children's privacy and illegally collecting their information.

A federal law enacted in 2000 – the Children's Online Privacy Protection Act – was used to bring the accusations.

At the time, more than 170million teenagers were estimated to be using TikTok and government lawyers said the app was 'directed to children' but did not effectively assess the age of users or get parental consent for underage children.

The same legislation is being used by 29 states to sue Meta, owner of Facebook and Instagram, for misusing children's data and profiting from them in a case that started this week.

Meta denies the allegations but could face fines of hundreds of billions of dollars.

In the UK, Baroness Kidron, a campaigner for children's digital safety, said yesterday the fines would be ineffective because $400 million is 'a drop in the ocean' to a firm 'worth $550 billion at the last count'.

Former TikTok executive Trevor Johnson said the 'accountability of big tech platforms to children for privacy and protection has to continue to be ongoing'.

Carney in US tariffs war

CANADIAN Prime Minister Mark Carney yesterday pledged to match US tariffs 'dollar-for-dollar' after trade talks broke down.

He said he walked away from a deal with President Donald Trump because he was not prepared to 'compromise Canada's sovereignty'.

He accused the US of making 'unfair, last minute' changes.

Canada will be hit with new 50 per cent tariffs on a range of goods, in addition to existing tariffs on steel, aluminium, automobiles and lumber.

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13

It's Emma versus Emma!

New Strictly host set to go head to head with HERSELF because she's still on pre-recorded episodes of The Voice

EMMA ON THE VOICE

SHE battled it out with Britain's top presenting talent to land one of the most coveted jobs in television after Tess Daly and Claudia Winklenan quit Strictly Come Dancing.

But now Emma Willis, the new co-host of the BBC's flagship entertainment show, faces the extraordinary prospect of going head-to-head with herself on prime-time TV as she still fronts its ITV rival, The Voice.

The presenter, 50, will be at the helm of both programmes this autumn, with the new series of The Voice launching last night and the BBC's revamped Strictly returning on September 19. The

'It has been a real headache for ITV'

'headache' for ITV bosses arose because Ms Willis, the long-term host of the singing talent show, had already filmed its current series in 2025 before she was named as part of Strictly's highly anticipated new line-up.

ITV postponed screening the series for more than a year, to the frustration of contestants who took part.

A transmission clash is now highly likely. The new series of The Voice broadcast its launch episode at 7pm and Strictly goes out live and typically starts at around 6.20pm. Ms Willis was

By Olivia Kemp and Alex Doyle

unveiled in May this year as one of the three new faces of Strictly alongside comedian Josh Widdicombe, 43, and professional dancer Johannes Radebe, 39.

The Mail on Sunday can reveal ITV bosses are concerned promotion of this year's The Voice, which Ms Willis has presented for 12 years, has been overshadowed by her new role.

Sources say that while she has fulfilled her contractual commitments with ITV, she was in production meetings and rehearsals for Strictly during The Voice's launch week.

'It has been a headache for ITV, there is no doubt about it,' one industry insider told The Mail on Sunday.

'They are frustrated The Voice has been completely overshadowed. Nobody is talking about The Voice, they only want to discuss Strictly. It is all Emma is being asked about.'

A BBC insider said: 'Strictly bosses can see that it is an awkward situation for Emma to be in. But they know that they are the bigger show and will attract many more viewers than The Voice.'

Ms Willis began presenting The Voice in 2014, when it was still broadcast by the BBC.

EMMA ON STRICTLY

IN DEMAND: Emma Willis with fellow new Strictly host Johannes Radebe and, left, fronting The Voice

By Gabriel Millard-Clothier

POLITICAL REPORTER

ANDY BURNHAM is under mounting pressure to sack his 'climate tsar' after she racked up more than enough 'air miles' to get to the Moon.

The Mail on Sunday can reveal Rachel Kyte has clocked up 250,000 miles-worth of official flights in less than two years in the job – and that includes business-class trips to glamorous locations such as Rio de Janeiro, Seoul and Barbados.

Last night, the Prime Minister faced calls to cut the climate tsar's air mileage or get rid of her.

Conservative MP Greg Smith told the MoS: 'Rachel Kyte's jet-setting lifestyle is a slap in the face to taxpayers.

'The fact this so-called 'climate tsar' regularly does 10,000-mile round trips – often in business-class – to eco conferences is outrageous. If she had any shame she would resign. If not, Andy Burnham should sack her and abolish the role for good.'

Ms Kyte, a one-time fan of

PM's 'climate tsar' flies 250k miles in two years ...enough to get to the Moon – and equal carbon emissions of 27 YEARS driving a Range Rover

environmental group Extinction Rebellion, came under fire in June last year for running up 75,000 air miles since she became the UK's Special Representative for Climate in September 2024.

However, fresh Freedom of Information requests show that she has now done 250,000 air miles in the job, enough to circumnavigate the globe ten times.

This has come at a total cost to the taxpayer of £107,000, a figure that does not include hotel bills.

She flew to Colombia for the

'Transitioning Away from Fossil Fuels' conference in April – a 10,000-mile round trip branded 'beyond a joke' by her critics.

This came immediately after a £10,000 business-class jaunt to Brazzaville in the Republic of Congo. This year alone, Ms Kyte has already spent more than £31,000 on over 20 flights, the majority in business class.

The Foreign, Commonwealth and Development Office (FCDO) considers these expenses 'cost-effective' and 'in the interests of

taxpayers'. But according to climate-protection organisation myclimate.org, Ms Kyte would have burned 100 tonnes of CO2 on her flights – ten times the average person's annual emissions.

It would take you 27 years to rack up the equivalent emissions driving a Range Rover.

The £130,000-a-year climate representative role was brought back by Labour after it was abolished by the Tories in 2023.

Ms Kyte, an academic, has previously spoken of air travel's nega-

tive impact on the environment. In a New Statesman interview in 2021, she admitted that 'the carbon footprint wrapped up in my social and professional identity is a source of deep discomfort'.

The FCDO said last night: 'The Special Representative for Climate's international diplomacy has supported efforts to unlock more private finance to tackle the climate crisis and accelerate the transition to clean power.

'We make no apology for pursuing international climate action.'

---

14

The Mall on Sunday AUGUST 23 • 2026

Vigil for family swept out to sea as second daughter, six, loses her fight for life

A SEASIDE community held a vigil yesterday for a family who died after getting into difficulty in strong sea currents last week.

By Nick Constable

Hassan El-Khawas, 55, his partner Zeina Alayn, 37, and their

14-year-old daughter, Sara, died despite the efforts of paramedics at Shoreham's Kingston Beach on Tuesday. Three days later, it was

confirmed six-year-old daughter Saja had died in hospital.

It is understood two other children from the British Palestinian family, who had travelled to the Sussex coast from London, stayed on shore. According to the Palestinian Forum in Britain, they are being cared for by a paternal uncle.

As people gathered to pay their respects at Kingston Beach, investigators were still piecing together how they got into trouble.

Sussex Police believe they entered the water below Shoreham Fort, on the west side of the River Adur estuary. That section of Shoreham Beach is 2,000ft from the nearest official swim zones – Ferry Road and Kingston.

It appears the family was then swept east across the mouth of the estuary where river and sea currents come together.

Adnan Hmidan, chair of the Palestinian Forum in Britain, said:

'Caught in fishing net as father tried to free her'

'According to the information available to us, the family encountered strong currents while at sea.

'Their daughter, Sara, became caught in a fishing net and her father attempted to help free her.

'As the waves and currents intensified, her mother, Zeina, entered the water to try to save them, followed by their younger daughter.'

Residents said strong currents are known to swirl round the estuary.

One online forum post said the sea below the fort could appear calm because it was sheltered by a breakwater, 'but you would only have had to go a very short distance east to get into water being driven hard by the incoming tide and wind'.

Joss Loader, a local councillor who represents the Shoreham Beach Residents' Association, said that the beach was a 'challenging

BEACH TRAGEDY: From top, Hassan El-Khawas, Zeina Alayn and their daughter Sara

environment' in which 'it can be difficult to get in and out of the sea, during certain conditions'.

Speaking at the Shoreham vigil, local MP Tom Rutland said the whole town was heartbroken to learn that Saja had died. 'We had been hoping and praying for her recovery after she was taken to hospital on Tuesday,' he said.

'The way that everybody has come together and marked today with this minute's silence, it's been a really lovely way to pay tribute to the very sad loss of these lives.'

Why you should always eat your greens... FIRST

EATING your vegetables first at dinnertime could reduce the risk of type 2 diabetes.

Volunteers who tucked in to their greens before touching the meat, rice or pasta on their plates had much smaller spikes in blood sugar levels than those who ate everything at the same time.

Blood sugar increases after meals and the bigger the jump, the greater the risk of diabetes.

Carbohydrate-rich foods – such as rice and pasta – can drive up blood sugar levels. Those high in

By Pat Hagan

protein, such as chicken and eggs, also do but to a lesser extent.

Green vegetables and salad, however, keep blood sugar steady as they are high in fibre.

Scientists in Seoul, South Korea, who conducted the research, said they think consuming fibre-rich foods to start with slows the passage of all food through the stomach, dampening down the blood glucose response.

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v1

15

SPECIAL INVESTIGATION

By ABUL TAHER IN LEIPZIG and MARK HOOKHAM IN LONDON

A SUSPECTED Russian attack against an airport in Germany using an explosive-laden drone is linked to a parcel bomb campaign that targeted Britain, The Mail on Sunday can reveal.

A drone packed with Semtex slammed into the wing of a stationary Ukrainian cargo plane at Leipzig/Halle Airport late on August 4 but failed to detonate.

The drone was discovered close to the giant Antonov An-124, which was being used to fly military supplies into Ukraine, by a bus driver, who pinned it under his foot and alerted airport security.

The MoS has learnt that the incident has sent shockwaves through Western capitals and is viewed as a 'game-changer' by security experts because it shows Vladimir Putin is prepared to use drones to destroy targets in Europe.

This newspaper can also reveal that investigators discovered traces of DNA on the drone that matches at least one unnamed individual suspected of involvement in a Kremlin-backed sabotage campaign that included

'The Russian secret service was behind it'

sending parcel bombs from Lithuania to the UK two years ago.

One incendiary parcel with a pre-programmed electronic timer exploded and caused a fire at Leipzig/Halle airport in July 2024 as it was about to be loaded on to a DHL flight to Britain.

Two days later a second device, which had been flown to the UK, caught fire at a DHL depot near Birmingham. Two similar packages were also found in Poland.

All the devices were mailed from Lithuania's capital Vilnius in what is believed to have been a series of 'practice runs' to eventually target commercial flights to the US.

A joint investigation into the parcel bombs by British, German, Polish, Dutch and Lithuanian detectives identified 22 suspects in Lithuania and Poland believed to have been working on behalf of Russia's GRU military intelligence service. Five men suspected of mailing incendiary devices are on trial in Lithuania.

Now forensic evidence is mounting that the suspected GRU sabotage network behind the incendiary devices was also involved in this month's drone attack.

Professor Peter Neumann, an expert on the German security services at King's College London, said: 'They found DNA on the Leipzig drone and... the person that matches that DNA is a person who is suspected in Lithuania of involvement in the parcel bomb plot of 2024. This was the attack that went to a Birmingham warehouse. The parcel bomb attack

REVEALED: Putin bid to hit German airport with Semtex-packed drone linked to parcel bomb blitz on Britain

■ TWO Nato F-16 fighter jets were scrambled to destroy a suspected Russian drone near a critical European gas project.

The sea drone was spotted by sailors on Thursday evening just a few hundred yards from Romania's offshore installation Neptun Deep, destined to be Europe's largest gas rig when it opens next year.

The two F-16s were scrambled by the Romanian authorities, with one of the fighter pilots destroying the drone.

Authorities said it had posed a threat to the lives of hundreds of workers stationed on the Black Sea rig, 80 miles east of Constanta.

was basically led by the Russian GRU. This is the smoking gun.'

Roderich Kieswetter, a German MP and former officer in the Bundeswehr armed forces, said: 'If it is true that the DNA [on the drone] is similar or is the same as it was with the DHL arson attack in 2024, then we know that the GRU, the Russian military secret service, was behind it. I have heard this from two sources. The pattern of

behaviour matches with the Russian conduct of such operations.'

A spokesman for the prosecutor's office in Lithuania confirmed that the drone incident at Leipzig Airport is linked to Lithuania's 'Lithuania's defence and interior ministers have reportedly been briefed about the link.'

It comes as the MoS can reveal astonishing new details about the audacious Leipzig drone attack.

Around 600 grams of Semtex is understood to have been squeezed into a sweetcorn can, which was then attached to the 'quadcopter' drone. The can detached from the drone when it hit the aircraft. Only a defective detonator prevented a huge explosion.

Polish investigators are understood to have identified that a cache of similar explosive-filled cans were smuggled into Poland by Russian agents.

Rather than being radio-controlled, the military-grade drone had either a 4G or 5G antenna and two mobile phone SIM cards inside it, which allowed it to be controlled via the mobile phone network.

The sabotage gang are believed to have secretly lodged another small antenna in a tree in the village of Kursdorf near the air-

TERROR LINK: A bomb-disposal team at Leipzig/Halle Airport, below left. Below right, a device explodes at a DHL depot in 2024

port's perimeter, which boosted the phone signal used to control the drone.

Crucially, experts say this means the saboteurs could have been controlling the drone from a huge distance away - and possibly even from a different country.

And, alarmingly, experts warn that drones controlled via mobile phone networks are also more difficult to detect and jam than those that rely on radio frequencies.

A Polish man called Kamil who owns a garage in Kursdorf, told the MoS that he spotted the drone approaching the airport's northern runway on the night of the attack

'It would have created a huge fireball'

• and then watched hours later as the police swooped on the village.

'I was about 60 metres away, in a straight line, from where the drone was flying,' he said. 'After about two or three hours, airport security turned up here, and then later the police from Leipzig.'

In another extraordinary twist, investigators believe a second drone was hovering above Leipzig/Halle Airport at the time of the attack, relaying live video images to the operators of the attack drone.

A DHL cargo plane from Marseille is believed to have collided with the second drone and was forced to make an emergency landing about 150 miles away in Hanover with minor damage.

Describing the Antonovs, Professor Neumann said: 'These are really important. They transport ammunition, they transport helicopters and all sorts of stuff via Leipzig. If the bomb had worked, it would have exploded the fuel tank of that plane and it would have created a huge fireball.'

Experts last night warned that the UK could also be targeted by exploding drones after the Kremlin threatened 'consequences' over the use by Ukraine of British-made drones to strike Russia.

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16

Woke barrister's 'hypocrisy' as he takes his non-profit offshore

LEFT-wing campaign group Good Law Project has been accused of 'hypocrisy' after becoming an offshore trust in Jersey.

Director Jolyon Maugham KC has restructured the non-profit organisation so it is owned by a 'purpose trust' on the island.

But legal experts say the move is 'enormously hypocritical'

By Miles Dilworth and Tim Stewart

because becoming a trust will 'give it the benefits' of being set up like a charity without having oversight from regulators.

GLP, which uses judicial reviews to challenge the Government and public bodies

over contentious issues, has repeatedly criticised others over their offshore arrangements. In 2024, it published an article titled 'The offshore bonanza powering Reform's far-Right rhetoric'.

In 2019, Mr Maugham hit the headlines after he announced on X (then Twitter) that he had killed a fox with a baseball bat on

Boxing Day while wearing his wife's kimono.

Veteran barrister Barbara Rich said the restructuring meant that GLP would operate 'without the burden of charity registration'.

She added: '[This] is not just because in England that imposes restrictions on political activity but because my impression is that Jolyon Maugham is pretty antagonistic towards the Charity Commission generally and would prefer to have a free hand than be subject to any regulator at all. It's enormously hypocritical.'

GLP was set up in 2017 as a non-profit company limited by guarantee. In May, when the restructuring was announced, GLP said Mr Maugham had originally set up the group because

'Antagonistic towards Charity Commission'

'he wanted the public interest features of a charity but outside of the moving political guardrails policed' by the Commission.

But GLP said that 'another feature of charities is that they are not owned by any individual' and instead they exist for a purpose'. It said 'the time had come to replicate this feature' by becoming a trust.

It said that Mr Maugham had replaced himself as owner by the trust, making it possible for others to join as trustees so it 'operates a bit more like a charity board'.

James Mews, from Jersey-based Amati Law, who chaired a steering group for ten years to improve Trusts Law on the island, said: 'A Jersey purpose trust has a greater level of confidentiality and privacy regarding control, ownership and resources than a UK company. A UK company registered at Companies House will still be subject to stringent, regulatory oversight.'

When Tory leader, Rishi Sunak

ACTIVIST: Jolyon Maugham, the founder of the Good Law Project

pledged to crack down on activist lawyers who take legal action to frustrate the will of Parliament. He promised to resist what he called 'lawfare' and listed examples of cases – all involved Mr Maugham.

In February, GLP lost a High Court judicial review on guidance issued by the UK equalities watchdog on single-sex spaces. Mr Maugham relies on crowdfunding to pay for legal actions.

Criminal barrister Matthew Scott said: 'Although the GLP is not a charity, it constantly wraps itself in the clothing of sanctimonious moral rectitude to solicit, and to receive, millions of pounds – well over £4million in 2024-2025 – from the public every year.'

A GLP spokesman did not comment when approached yesterday.

The clock's ticking for a 'Greenwich Moon time'

WORLD powers eager to exploit lunar resources are pushing to agree on a standard measure dubbed 'Greenwich Moon time'.

Countries are to vote in October on how to measure the passage of time on the Moon, as a tiny difference with Earth threatens navigation and communications systems. Agreement is needed as Moon-based clocks tick fractionally faster than terrestrial counterparts due to gravitational effects.

The plan, would see the Paris-based International Bureau for Weights and Measures (BIPM) taking a central role in setting a standard Moon time. The need for it is becoming urgent as the US and China aim to put more astronauts on the Moon in the next

By Padrak Flanagan

few years with longer-term plans for permanent lunar bases.

Time dilation means the greater a cosmic body's mass, the more it curves space-time and the slower time nearby will pass. Time on the Moon passes about 57 microseconds a day faster than on Earth. The margin has potential implications for a lunar mission as light waves used in communication systems travel about 17km in that time.

Annette Koo, the BIPM's director, told the Financial Times: 'Any clocks placed on the Moon could report to us their time, and we would report back to them their difference from coordinated time.'

While stocks last. Subject to availability from 20.08.26. Each store will receive limited stock, when it is gone it is gone. Selected stores. GB Only. Prices correct and checked at decathlon.co.uk on 18.08.26. Saving based on this branded product at Decathlon vs the cost of an equivalent product meeting the same need at Udi. Prices and packaging may vary. Decathlon may sell other products at other prices.

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AUGUST 21 • 2026 The Mail on Sunday

17

By Claudia Joseph

YOU'D have thought the first rule at spy school was 'hide your emotions' – but, clearly, no one told Gary Oldman and Jack Lowden.

The actors, who play Jackson Lamb and River Cartwright in the hit espionage series Slow Horses, were photographed hugging emotionally, with Lowden even looking close to tears at one point.

It certainly doesn't reflect their characters' relationship – with slovenly, flatulent spy boss Lamb constantly insulting his protege, once telling him: 'If they threatened to kill you... I would buy them a beer and a bullet.'

But this isn't a scene from the Emmy-winning Apple TV show, which tells the story of a team of disgraced MI5 agents relegated to dead-end jobs with their maverick boss, but a touching moment as the stars finished filming.

Gone is the tension that has been

A cuddle from Jackson Lamb? That's not to be sniffed at!

brewing between them since the show, also starring Kristin Scott Thomas as MI5 head Diana Taverner, came out four years ago.

Both men looked genuinely emotional as they said their farewells as season six wrapped, particu-

larly Lowden, 36, who is married to actress Saoirse Ronan and is tipped to be the next James Bond. He and Oscar-winner Oldman, 68, left the set to a round of applause from the cast and crew, who had been filming a police car

EMOTIONAL: Gary Oldman and Jack Lowden share hugs and say goodbye after filming series six

chase with Lamb's beaten-up yellow Honda.

The series is based on the novels by Mick Herron, and in season six, which will be screened from September 16, the Slow Horses are on the run as Taverner embroils them all in a fatally high-stakes game of retaliation and revenge.

The latest episodes are based on Herron's books Joe Country and Slough House, the sixth and seventh Slow Horses novels.

A seventh series has already been commissioned based on his eighth book, Bad Actors.

Lowden will also be appearing on our screens as Mr Darcy in the much-anticipated Netflix six-episode adaptation of Pride And Prejudice, along with Olivia Colman as Mrs Bennet, Rufus Sewell as Mr Bennet and Emma Corrin as Elizabeth Bennet.

For better bones try a slice of... Jarlsberg

By Pat Hagan

IT sounds like a theory that's full of holes. But it appears the secret to maintaining strong bones is... Jarlsberg cheese.

Eating three to four slices of the Norwegian favourite every day is enough to improve bone density and reduce the risk of osteoporosis, the bone-thinning disorder that affects about 3.5 million in the UK.

Previous studies have found it may be good for the bones because it is fermented with a particular type of bacterium called propionibacterium freudenreichii. It increases levels of osteocalcin, a protein that is vital for strong human bones.

Experts at the Norwegian University of Life Sciences in Oslo tracked 57 men and women aged over 55 in the early stages of osteoporosis.

The women ate three slices of Jarlsberg – which is known for its large holes – and the men four slices every day for 32 weeks. Results published in BMJ Nutrition, Prevention and Health showed levels of osteocalcin increased by about 25 per cent on the Jarlsberg diet. In their report, which was not funded by any Jarlsberg manufacturers, scientists said: 'It might be a beneficial part of a dietary approach to support bone health.'

By Ronan O'Reilly and Simon Trump

THE anger at attempts by bosses at an exclusive tennis club to hush up the culling of a gaggle of geese has been revealed in an excoriating email.

The eight resident Canada geese were shot dead in the early hours at £2,664-a-year St George's Hill Lawn Tennis Club, in Weybridge, Surrey, because of the mess they had made of the 34 courts.

But an email has now revealed the fury of members who were initially told the popular geese were still alive and had simply been moved.

Seema Parikh, a member at the club for 18 years, wrote to directors: 'Even more troubling than the secrecy surrounding the cull is the fact that, when members and local residents began asking why the geese had disappeared, they were told that the birds had been "rehomed".'

'If the management knew the geese had been killed, that account was plainly untrue. It appears to have been a deliberate attempt to conceal what had happened till the truth emerged from elsewhere.'

She added: 'A young woman at reception told me the geese had been rehomed.'

'When I asked whether she was certain, she replied that this was what staff had been told. I then

Fowl play! Email reveals members' fury at tennis club's lies over goose cull

GAME'S UP: A goose with goslings at St George's Hill Tennis Club

explained my information was that the geese had been culled... she appeared genuinely stunned.'

She said the episode raised serious questions about the judgment, integrity and accountability of the

CEO and senior leadership'. She also raised the plight of the 'sole survivor of the cull' on July 16, a gosling 'who appears lost and despondent and very much solitary back at the club'. A club

member said last night: 'If we have senior management endorsing lies being told to both members and staff, then a red line has been crossed.'

The row is due to be discussed at a board meeting tomorrow amid waning support for CEO Miles Hill at the club on a gated estate with 24-hour security.

Insiders say the geese were popular with members, despite an adult bird producing 2lbs of droppings a day. One online commentator said: 'You'd have thought the club could have afforded to get someone to do a regular clean-up.'

Mr Hill said the cull decision was taken 'on grounds of public health and safety'. Last night the club said it had received 30 responses supporting the cull and 18 voicing 'dissatisfaction'. In a

statement Mr Hill, 48, said the cull decision was 'made collectively by the members of the senior team'.

He said the 'rehoming' explanation was given to avoid causing unnecessary distress to employees, particularly younger staff.

'The word "rehomed" was wrong and should not have been used. It placed employees in a difficult position and created a concern about transparency.

'The correct instruction should have been for staff to refer all questions to senior management without offering any explanation.'

He added: 'I do not accept, however, that one communication error, made in an attempt to protect staff during an unprecedented and highly sensitive situation, establishes a lack of integrity or accountability.'

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18

Giovanni Pernice reveals his darkest hour as his

ANGUISH: Giovanni during the controversy. Right: A tearful Amanda gives a TV interview

IN THE first extract from his no-holds-barred memoir in yesterday's Daily Mall, Giovanni Pernice gave an incendiary account of what happened after his dance partner Amanda Abbington accused him of bullying. Today, he reveals how the claims pushed him to the depths of despair...

By GIOVANNI PERNICE

FORMER STRICTLY DANCER

INCREDIBLY, it wasn't until three months after learning that my Strictly dance partner, actress Amanda Abbington, had lodged an official complaint against me that I was able to put my case to the BBC investigations team.

They had been speaking to everyone involved in the show as well as contacting all the celebrities I had partnered over the past eight years.

When I was finally allowed to see the allegations, I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

There were 17 claims, ranging from what I considered the pathetic, like me swearing in training, to the outrageous.

She had criticised my teaching style, claimed physical abuse by falsely saying I had deliberately stamped on her foot and suggested that when she had popped a rib, it was because I was 'physically aggressive'. I thought that was silly, because in the week she was injured, Amanda, then 51, herself said that it was because of a lift she was struggling to pull off.

At the meeting with the investigations team, I put my version of events and explained that I had kept every friendly WhatsApp message Amanda had sent me and I could refute every claim. Up to this point, the BBC only had Amanda's side of the story, which made me look like the devil incarnate. Now, message after message showed I was being supportive and there was nothing in our exchanges that suggested she was feeling 'bullied' by me.

I pulled up a text sent a week before she quit, in which Amanda said I was kind, patient and 'the best teacher', adding 'I do love you!' In numerous texts she blamed herself for things going wrong and told me 'you have been amazing... I would have stabbed me in the eye'.

At last, I felt the BBC began to understand what had been really going on. Even so, six months after the first claims had emerged, the allegations were getting worse – with Amanda talking about the backlash she received after quitting Strictly, with death threats and vile messages about

her family. I was truly sorry to hear that. I wouldn't wish that on anyone. But it seemed that the more she was attacked, the more she ramped up her accusations against me. In an interview with a Sunday paper, Amanda called me 'abusive, cruel and mean'.

In truth, I had never given up on teaching her and my frustration was because I always thought she could win Strictly that year, 2023. Amanda then gave a TV interview saying she had 'been in abusive situations in the past'.

I did not know this. Indeed, I believe it was the BBC's duty of

care to have checked whether she was mentally strong enough to do the show because Strictly is not an easy ride. The whole situation was frustrating.

We had been told by the BBC that nobody should speak to the Press, yet Amanda was giving interviews all over the place. Second, she was saying things I knew were wrong and damaging my reputation. Told not to say anything in public, I had no way to defend myself.

Looking back, I'm glad I held my tongue because it was the mature and professional thing to do, but it

was hard. Finally, I was contacted by the BBC inquiry team saying their investigation was complete. I was relieved. This would soon be over. But then I was told that another 30 hours of film footage had come to light which had to be assessed. I began sinking into depression. For the first time in my life, I wasn't dancing or doing anything active. I was comforting myself with food, going on the PlayStation, living a life that is the polar opposite of what I am.

It felt as though my life was finished. I gained 12 kilos in just a few weeks and developed inflam-

mation of the heart – which can be caused by stress. An MRI scan confirmed that the walls of my heart had been damaged. My state of mind was so bad I was slipping into paranoia.

In such a situation you start to second-guess yourself: did I stamp on her feet? Obviously, I knew that I hadn't, but I began to think the investigation was taking so long because they were searching for more evidence against me.

My previous Strictly partner Debbie McGee (the widow of magician Paul Daniels) again spoke out in my defence, saying I

I twice came close to ending my life over Amanda's false allegations...

...but where were the BBC and my so-called Strictly 'family' when I needed them most?

---

19

career hung by a thread over bullying claims

STEPS FROM CRISIS: Amanda Abbington and Giovanni Pernice dancing on Strictly in 2023

had nurtured her through her grief and given her confidence.

Another former celebrity partner, Michelle Visage, the star of Ruffaul's Drag Race, said publicly that I was 'the best teacher'. But there was a deafening silence from many of my 'friends', especially my Strictly 'family'.

On the show, we had been constantly told we were a 'family', suggesting a happy bunch who look out for each other. The reality was very different. In my darkest days, there was no 'family'. With the exception of the judges, it felt

that they all looked the other way. With some of the cast, that didn't surprise me, but there were a handful I had thought were good friends, who went very quiet. I felt hugely betrayed by those I'd been closest to.

Over all these years, I'd worked so hard to forge a career on Strictly. Then one woman I now believe should never have been on the show at all had brought it all crashing down. It's all finished. It's all gone, I was thinking.

The BBC was already ramping up to the start of the new series

for 2024 and announced the pro dancers: Strictly's back and everybody's happy. Meanwhile, I was waiting for the results of the investigation, with no end in sight. Every day, dark thoughts were going round my head. Twice, I

came very, very close to taking my own life. I sought medical help, took antidepressants and spoke to a therapist, which helped.

But the biggest help were the thousands of letters, emails and messages from the public saying, 'We love what you do. We are supporting you.'

That was literally life-saving. But while I felt I had the public on my side, people at the BBC, who had been my friends, were not supporting me. This left me even more frustrated. These BBC execs had told me: 'The public is all with you.' That's fine, but what about you? I wanted to ask.

At my lowest point, my lawyers showed them letters from my psychiatrist and doctor, saying I was suffering depression and stress-related heart issues as well as having suicidal thoughts.

I still heard nothing from my Strictly 'family.' I had been incredibly close to one particular executive: I shared occasions with – and bought gifts for – her family and we spent a lot of time together. But then she said she couldn't talk to me because of the investigation. That was a bitter blow. Six months after the whole investigation was over, she and another executive took me out for lunch, but the damage was done.

During the investigation, I'd wanted them to pick up their phone and say: 'I'm so sorry. Are you OK?' I had already seen what happened to the dancer Robin Windsor after he left Strictly with a back injury. He talked openly about how his mental health spiralled and then he committed suicide, aged just 44. That could so easily have been me.

As everyone on Strictly was gearing up excitedly for the new series, I was still living in hell. The inquiry dragged on until September. Finally, the BBC sent us its findings and said a statement would be issued the following morning. The investigation had taken more than six months and cost a reported £250,000.

The full report cleared me of all the most serious allegations against Amanda Abbington, notably that I had behaved in a threatening or abusive way or had been physically aggressive.

Though I am legally unable to reveal the full findings, in summary, complaints of 'aggressive behaviour' were not upheld, nor were claims I had 'stamped on her foot'. Allegations that I had been aggressive to previous partners, too, were not upheld.

In all, they upheld six of 17 allegations, most of which related to me swearing. But, as they admitted, this had gone both ways, with Amanda calling me 'k't head', 'd' 'kface' and the 'C' word. The BBC ruled that I threw my arms up and said 'F't' on one

occasion. They found that I had made concerted efforts to be positive and supportive to Amanda, in both the training room and our text conversations, and acknowledged that her behaviour towards me was inconsistent. They also found I had not been unsympathetic about injuries, as Amanda had claimed, and had shown genuine concern when she was hurt.

However, most frustrating was what I considered the BBC's mealy-mouthed statement, saying: 'We have assessed the complaints and we have upheld some, but not all, of the complaints made. We want to apologise to Amanda Abbington and to thank her for coming forward and taking part. We know this would not have been an easy thing to do.'

They didn't detail the many allegations that I was cleared of and, worse, they apologised to

I felt hugely betrayed by those I'd been closest to

Amanda, despite the majority of her complaints not being upheld.

Her claims had also ruined my life and my career and driven me to the brink of suicide. Where was my apology? I felt that the BBC just wanted to protect themselves. The investigation wasn't to find out what, if anything, I was guilty of. It took the BBC six months to find the best way to issue a public statement that the other parties involved would be happy with. But I was far from happy. When this saga first started, my lawyers told me that the investigation would probably uphold some allegations, otherwise it would be a charade, spending a considerable amount of time and money to find nothing.

I can only assume the BBC felt they had to apologise to Amanda for the bad time she had on Strictly. Among the things I'd said to Amanda that were upheld as being excessive displays of frustration were, 'I'm tired of it, if you want to look s't, I don't care.' I also told her, 'You've got talent and you're not using it... that's what's frustrating to me.'

Yes, I was frustrated but only when I thought she wasn't trying as hard as she could. That's a natural part of teaching, trying to get someone to put in more effort.

In all, the main claims they upheld related to things we said to each other. But that was the kind of banter Amanda and I had.

The judgment, under the heading Strictly Come Dancing – Duty of Care, also said the BBC had a responsibility to look after 'everyone on the show'. It added: 'The BBC takes duty of care extremely seriously. We want Strictly to be a positive experience for everyone involved.' But where was their duty of care to me? They had thrown me under the bus. The apology was deeply upsetting

» Turn to Page 20

MISSED PART ONE IN YESTERDAY'S MAIL? SCAN HERE TO READ ON MAIL+

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» From Page 19

because, no one except me, Amanda and our teams, had seen the report, but the BBC's public statement allowed her to act as if her complaint had been upheld.

It made it seem like every story in the newspapers was accurate when most had been found to be totally untrue. It seemed that the BBC did not care what the impact was for me and whether people thought I had done all of the awful things she said.

I feel they hung me out to dry to cover their backs. I was devastated by that. While I was hoping this would be an end to this horrible situation, to my distress, two days after the BBC's report was sent to us, Amanda was inter-

A drunken row and floods of tears on the tour bus

WHILE Strictly Come Dancing is often described as a big happy family, the reality is everyone wants to win and everyone is focused on building their own career. So the idea of one close-knit 'family' doesn't always reflect the full picture.

Even when we were on tour, tensions could run pretty high. There was one horrific argument on the tour bus between a male and female pro. She had

said something about his performance that didn't land well. He was drunk and started shouting at her, in front of all the other pros, the celebrities and the producers. She was left in floods of tears.

But on the whole, screaming rows are rare. The resentments tend to come out in a more bitchy, backstabbing way; whispers behind the back and comments to the producers.

viewed on BBC2's Newsnight, where she doubled down on some of the allegations that had been dismissed. It was crazy that the BBC, who had rejected the vast

majority of her allegations, would then air a programme in which she repeated those claims.

Amanda said things in the interview that I knew were

untrue and which the BBC did not uphold. She claimed that almost half of her complaints were upheld – whereas six out of 17 is closer to a third – and that one accusation that was upheld 'was physical', when no claims of inappropriate or aggressive physical behaviour were upheld. To this day, I have no idea what this means, but she said it on national television unchallenged.

It shocked me that the BBC allowed such an incredibly slanted interview so soon after the inquiry had not upheld so many of Amanda's claims. What's more, I'm told that the BBC's entertainment arm was furious the Newsnight interview had been broadcast.

My agent responded by saying: 'It's disappointing that Ms Abbington would knowingly mislead the outcome of the report in order to further damage Giovanni's reputation. While Ms Abbington may not like the outcome of the six-month investigation, she should not seek to spread false and defamatory claims.' After the worst six months of my life, it felt she was trying to twist the knife.

On reflection, I still don't understand the motives behind Amanda's accusations. She has said she didn't set out to destroy my career, but it felt like she wouldn't stop until she did. Perhaps it was about money. When asked in a TV interview if she thought she was 'owed a financial settlement', Amanda replied: 'I was treated badly, the loss of earnings and emotional trauma.'

Maybe she wants to sue the BBC and get a compensation package? I don't have any hatred towards Amanda personally. Based on our personalities, I don't think we should ever have been partnered and the responsibility for that does not lie with either of us. For me, it's the BBC and my Strictly 'family', the people that I thought were going to protect me more, who let me down. I think the Amanda situation was convenient and some people on the team were happy to see me go.

I believe I became too big for Strictly, so, for certain individuals, it was more comfortable if I wasn't on the show any more. They couldn't fire me because I was too popular with viewers, so they rode the wave of the official complaint.

There are still people on Strictly whose behaviour is far worse. One choreographer has been bullying, screaming at all the pro dancers, for years. Others drink before the

live show. Yet I'm paying the price because I danced with a woman I don't think should have been on the show in the first place, who didn't like my teaching style.

My methodology is a hard way of teaching, which gives exactly the results it's supposed to – 97 scores of 10 on Strictly Come Dancing, four times in the final, winning with Rose Ayling-Ellis, the first deaf contestant on the show, awarded a Bafta... You don't break all these records just by being a nice person.

Perhaps it would have worked out better if Amanda and I had established better boundaries in our working relationship and not spoken to each other in the way that we did, but at the time I believed that was just the dynamic between us.

For nine years, the BBC were happy with the way I worked. Then, in 2023, I was told that approach was no longer wanted. My feeling was simple: if the role had changed, perhaps I wasn't the right person any more. It's a bit like asking Craig

'They couldn't fire me as I was too popular with viewers'

Revel Horwood to stop being Craig Revel Horwood. Of course, times change, and every industry evolves. I understand that expectations around coaching and communication have changed, too. But my identity has always been as a teacher first. My job was to help people become the best dancers they could be, and that often meant pushing them beyond what they thought they were capable of.

When the music starts on Strictly on Saturday night, no one judges how many encouraging conversations we've had during the week. They judge the performance.

While all this was going on, I also discovered who my true friends were. All the judges, as well as presenters Tess Daly and Claudia Winkeman, were incredibly supportive. Others kept their distance. People have careers and difficult decisions to make, and I understand that many probably felt they had to protect themselves, but it hurt.

As I said, almost two years ago, on the day the inquiry cleared me of all the most serious claims, I'm happy to be able still to carry on doing what I was born to do – and love to do – which is to entertain all of you, because this is my life.

© Giovanni Pernice, 2026

● Adapted from Gio: Taking The Lead by Giovanni Pernice (Headline £22), to be published on August 27. To order a copy for £19.80 (offer valid until September 5, 2026; UK P&P free on orders over £25), go to mailshop.co.uk/books or call 020 3176 2937.

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IN TOMORROW'S Daily Mail HOW I WON ITALIAN STRICTLY AND FOUND LOVE

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21

By Peter Robertson

SCOTTISH violinist Nicola Benedetti has revealed her father found it hard to accept she was settling down with a man 25 years her senior.

Ms Benedetti, now 39, married multi Grammy Award-winning American trumpeter and composer Wynton Marsalis, now 64, in 2021. They have a two-year-old daughter Elise – his fifth child.

Ms Benedetti met Marsalis when she was 17 but from the age of 19 to 28 she was in a relationship with German cellist Leonard Elschenbroich.

In an interview for podcast Rosebud, she doesn't reveal when the relationship with Marsalis became intimate but admits that her Italian father, Giovanni – who she says 'is in his mid-80s now and has been suffering from a lot of health issues recently' – had difficulty accepting the situation.

She recalled: 'By the time I said, 'This is the person I want to be with', my parents had been used to me making very bold and outlandish and highly risky choices, like leaving school when I was 15.

'They weren't in support of that at all, but I was convincing enough that it was the right thing to do.

'So I think by that point my parents were sort of a little resigned to 'OK, she's going to carve her own path and it's not necessarily going to be what we approve of.' But then, of course, they got to know Wynton.

'I think it was tough for my dad obviously as a much older person. I think there were big discussions that they (he and Wynton) probably had.'

Ms Benedetti, who is the artistic director of The Edinburgh Festival at which

Violin star Nicola: My Italian dad's fear over my 25-year age gap with trumpeter husband Wynton

Marsalis is performing, said of her husband: 'He is much older than me.

'We have grown up in such drastically different parts of the world, and effectively in different generations.

'However, our view of the world is sca-

IN TUNE: Nicola Benedetti with Wynton Marsalis and inset left, with parents Giovanni and Francesca

rily aligned and similar. I remember somebody saying to me 'Is this relationship going to continue?', almost like 'surely this is not a long-term thing'.

'I remember saying, 'I would never have stepped into it if I wasn't utterly convinced that this was my life, this was going to be the person I would marry.'

Ms Benedetti also said that behind closed doors, Marsalis, like

her father, 'is not an easy person' to live with but is a good dad and happy to change their daughter's nappies when he's at home.

She said: 'Elise is his fifth child. What he will give to her and has given to his other children is a sort of world insight that is not easy to come by.'

Ms Benedetti revealed that Elise already has her own 'proper' violin, adding: 'She likes to pick it up and play her violin like Mummy.'

Why Red Riding Hood is Freudian – and how to stage school walkouts

What UK pupils will learn from EU scheme

BRITISH pupils could be taught politically correct versions of classic fairytales under a controversial EU education programme.

The lesson plans are part of the Erasmus+ student exchange scheme, which is due to cost the UK £570million in its first year.

Labour is taking Britain into the scheme, which includes revisions to traditional stories that remove 'any gender assumptions, ageism, racism or disablism'.

In one, called 'Over the rainbow', Little Red Riding Hood is given a new spin, and now states: 'Many people believed that the forest was a threatening and dangerous place and never set foot in it. Red Riding Hood, however, was confident enough in her own growing sexuality and such obvious Freudian imagery did not intimidate her.'

Children may also be taught how to organise 'school walkouts and

By Gabriel Millard-Clothier

POLITICAL REPORTER

online campaigns' to 'spearhead youth-led climate activism'.

The Department for Education directs teachers and youth providers to the lesson plans, although it insists this not an endorsement.

Ministers claim it will give young people travel opportunities in the EU. But the fine print includes the 'project ideas' for 13-year-olds.

One Government-approved provider said the programme, due in 2027, includes a 'strong emphasis on inclusion and diversity' – something that may not sit well with stories that date back centuries.

Andrew Gilligan, a research fellow at the Policy Exchange think-tank, said: 'This is so stupid it's actually funny. But the intent is clearly deadly serious – to turn

CLASSIC: Little Red Riding Hood

schools into factories producing a generation of activists'.

Tory MP Mike Wood said: 'It is unbelievable kids are being brain-washed as part of what the EU

claims is a travel scheme. Erasmus is nothing more than a Trojan horse to peddle a political agenda.'

Labour ministers claim the deal is 'fair and balanced', but it costs twice as much as a version Boris Johnson rejected as too dear in 2021, and twice as many EU students will benefit as UK students.

The first year costs £570million – a discount of 30 per cent. But ministers must renegotiate costs within a year, with funding rising by a further 50 per cent from 2028.

To make way for it, Labour will axe the successful Turing scheme for disadvantaged students to study worldwide – and at less cost, because Britain doesn't have to fund visiting foreign students.

The Department for Education said it 'will enable over 100,000 young people from all backgrounds to access life-changing opportunities to... study abroad'.

One in five kids hasn't seen a robin

SOME 720,000 under-16s have never seen a swan, rabbit, robin, hedgehog or fox in the wild because they spend too much time on screens.

One in five has not seen a swan or a robin, according to a survey of 1,000 parents and their children aged four to 16.

Perhaps unsurprisingly, 92 per cent haven't seen the notoriously shy mole and 91 per cent have never seen a puffin. The holiday firm Verdant Parks, which commissioned the study, said it showed 'how many children haven't seen some of the more common wildlife, mainly due to the increase in screen time'.

Thompson

PRISONS FULL

OK, WRISTS

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22

The Mail ON SUNDAY

SURELY the strife within the Royal Family is one of the worst things which has happened to this country in the last half century.

The monarchy has many functions and duties but the abdication of Edward VIII nearly 90 years ago reminded Britain that the Crown is represented, in the minds of many, by the actual family which surrounds the King and Queen.

The monarchy is one of very few institutions which stand for and honour the way of life so many of us aspire to – a strong united family, held together by love and loyalty, passing on good things from one generation to another. There is no point in an Englishman's home being his castle if there is bitterness within its walls. A house divided against itself, as has so many times been said, will not stand.

Several modern monarchs have recognised this, and the British people clearly believe it too. George V lived more or less like a suburban person, as far as he could, with his ordinary tastes, his quiet evenings and his

For the sake of the Monarchy, and their sick father, the Princes must now reconcile

stamp collection. After the turmoil of Edward and Mrs Simpson, George VI and his Queen were – to many – a blessed relief from gossip and glamour.

Elizabeth II no doubt hoped to follow her parents' example but the fury of the modern world came rushing into the heart of her household, beginning with her own sister's complex life and

then continuing with divorce among her children.

But most devastating of all was the tragedy of Princess Diana, a personal and public catastrophe which still splits the country and the Royal Family itself.

Who can deny that the estrangement of Harry and Meghan from the monarchy is an aftershock of Diana's divorce and death, and its effect

on her sons? The outcome is sad for all involved. It is also entirely avoidable.

These quarrels are not in some way fated or inescapable. Men and women do not run on tracks like trams. They are free to choose. And now, in the return of the Duke and Duchess of Sussex to this country, we have an opportunity for a grand reconciliation. And not just an

opportunity. There is also a pressing need. The disgrace of the former Duke of York has left the monarchy weaker than before. The King's illness worries us all. Princes William and Harry have both had plenty of opportunities to vent their various discontents.

The Sussexes have seen that even California offers no escape from real life. They have children, to whom they must set an example. The King, the head of the family, needs their support as never before. So why not make the rather minor effort needed to reconcile?

The Mail on Sunday's poll today reveals a lot of public discontent with Harry and Meghan, and this is not surprising. But such things can be overcome.

It is hard to recall just how unpopular the Princess Royal once was. Yet now she is among the most respected and well-liked of all the Royals.

Who should take the first step? That is not for us to say but it is certain that somebody should do so, and soon, while the opportunity is still there.

BACK in the early Noughties, the editors of the Oxford Dictionary Of English noticed something interesting about the words they were about to include in their second edition. Their new volume, based on strict evidence of current language in use, offered more than 350 ways of poking fun at someone. Compliments, on the other hand, totalled just 40. For every chucklehead, clot, chump, herbert, gilligawpus, numpty, tospot and plonker, there was just a mere sprinkling of cutieples or patnotes.

The editors' conclusion was that human nature relishes a put-down, particularly the cheeky kind. And it's hard to disagree when one traditional insult has been much on show recently, notably during the recent by-election in Clacton, when some residents complained that the whole affair had made them look like 'right plonkers'.

Even the most superficial riffle through the historical dictionary will tell you that this is nothing new. Centuries of practice have made the art of the playful insult one of our most reliable growth industries. And it turns out that 350 is nothing compared with what history has to offer.

Sycophants, for example, are particularly well catered for in the historical lexicon. Anyone resenting a fawning flatterer in their office today might appreciate that a 'toady' was originally a 'toadeater' – the assistant to a charlatan who, to the gasps of packed audiences at market fairs in 19th-century Britain, would pretend to eat a poisonous toad before being 'miraculously' cured by the quack doctor with one of his bogus potions.

One hundred years on, any valet who followed their master or mistress too closely for comfort would become known as a 'catchfart', since following the political wind gave them a little more than they bargained for.

Speaking of politics, there is inevitably no shortage of lampoons for public servants. Beware the 'snollygoster', for example: 19th-century speak for a shrewd but unprincipled politician. A quockerwodger, meanwhile, was originally a wooden toy whose limbs jerked about when its strings were pulled; it didn't take long before the insult was applied to a puppet politician.

Finally, we have the 'throttlebottom' –

Are you a snollygoster or a throttlebottom? English's lost lexicon of exotic put-downs

By SUSIE DENT

the bumbling, inept kind of public servant who takes their name from a hapless vice-president in a 20th-century musical.

Anyone so desperate to hold onto office that they will resort to anything might deserve the name of 'stiffnamp' – one who refuses to budge. Preeners and hectors also attract a few choice epithets, from the 'bayard' (defined as 'one who speaks with all the confidence of ignorance') to the 'popinjoy' and the 'pavoniser', two dismissals based on the ostentatious behaviour of parrots and peacocks respectively.

Creating the perfect insult was even once an area of study. In the 16th century, Scottish poets would compete in 'flyting', a contest in which two people would assail each other with the juiciest tirades they could come up with. And, of course, Shakespeare was a master of the jibe. No one has ever been able to match such outbursts as this from Henry IV, Part II: 'Away, you scullion! You rampallion! You fustilarian! I'll tickle your catastrophe!'

All becomes clear when you learn the Bard was using 'catastrophe' here to

mean the backside. Much like 'prat', which meant 'a single buttock', hence the comedy 'pratfall'.

The 18th century saw the publication of The Classical Dictionary Of The Vulgar Tongue, compiled by the antiquary and lexicographer Francis Grose, who set out to record the language that other lexicographers shied away from: that of thieves and highwaymen, brothel-owners and tavern-keepers. It is not for the squeamish, but there is plenty of humour here if you can stomach it. Here we learn that an 'admiral of the narrow seas' is 'one who from drunkenness vomits into the lap of the person sitting opposite him'. This is arguably better than the vice-admiral of the same seas, namely 'A drunken man that p' 'es under the table into his companion's shoes'.

Grose's collection is proof that insults based on the male anatomy were going strong even in the 1700s. To give just one example: 'Rantallion: one whose scrotum is so relaxed as to be longer than his penis, ie whose shot pouch is longer than the barrel of his piece'.

Two hundred years on, we have equally phallic insults, of which the mildest has to be that word again – Del Boy's favourite, 'plonker'.

The 1900s arguably gave us the

insults we view most affectionately today, such as 'numpty', 'muppet', 'doofus', 'clot' and 'tospot'. Some come with intriguing stories: it's thought that 'wally' originated in a real-life Wally who became separated from his companions at a 1960s pop festival; his name was announced many times over the Tannoy and was quickly taken up as a chant by the crowd.

Today, pensioners in Liverpool continue to go by the fondly bestowed nickname 'twirlies', because they consistently arrive 'too early' for their free bus travel. And in France, many of us can surely relate to the name 'tamalous', a collective term for those who are getting on a bit in age and so greet each other not with news of their latest holiday or night out but rather with the question, 'I as mal ou!' Where does it hurt?

New evidence shows that the more we reach for happy, positive words, the better we ourselves will feel, thanks to a rise in our serotonin levels or feel-good hormones. Perhaps that's why so many of the oldest insults, from the 'spanner' and 'muppet' to the 'doofus' and the 'herbert' – tend to be used with a nudge and a smile. It's a fact worth remembering the next time you meet a real-life wally and feel like tickling their catastrophe.

ALEXANDRA SHULMAN IS AWAY

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WHEN I was campaigning in the run-up to the Gorton and Denton by-election in February, it became blatantly obvious to me that dark and sinister forces were at work. It wasn't just the intimidating atmosphere out on the streets of Manchester where I went door-to-door canvassing as the prospective parliamentary candidate for Reform UK under the menacing gaze of groups of mainly young Muslim men.

Or even the rumours of underhand deals being struck between other political parties and local so-called community elders.

Far more disturbing was what my colleagues and I witnessed at the polling stations.

I'm talking about husbands and fathers standing by voting booths, instructing their wives and adult children exactly where to put their mark on the ballot paper. In many cases these coercive patriarchs might as well have had the pen in their own hands.

So while new and deeply disturbing revelations of widespread and illicit 'family voting' in Birmingham during May's local elections will leave many Britons appalled, they come as no shock to me.

As revealed by the Daily Mail in a damning report yesterday, at

«Insidious creep of these unlawful voting practices fell on deaf ears»

recent elections Birmingham City Council staff witnessed attempts to get round the secret ballot at no fewer than 50 of its polling stations.

Beleaguered electoral officers had to repeatedly tell voters it was against the law to enter a booth with a relative and tell them how to vote. Others witnessed one man trying to influence voting through 'Islamic gestures, blinking eyes, hand signals', and another clutching 'all the poll cards' for his family and 'advising' each on how to vote.

You'd think it would go without saying that voters colluding or conferring or advising each other on voting is illegal under the 2023 Ballot Secrecy Act.

But these were exactly the kind of illegal practices I warned about six months ago in Manchester, where it emerged after the polls closed that 'family voting' took place in 68 per cent of polling stations in Gorton and Denton.

Back then, my attempts to re-drag the insidious creep of these unlawful voting practices fell on deaf ears. I was simply accused of sour grapes after coming second to Hannah Spencer, who is now the constituency's Green Party MP.

But, as I said at the time, what is going on is nothing less than an assault on, not just our democracy, but Britain itself. We are facing a major problem in this country, one which threatens to strike at the heart of everything we hold dear. It's time to wake up and act.

And I'm not alone in issuing this urgent clarion call. The official – and independent – election

As the elections watchdog is urged to investigate illegal 'family voting'...

It saddens me to say it, but the only way we can safeguard our precious democracy is to have police officers at every polling station

By MATT GOODWIN

REFORM CANDIDATE AT THE GORTON AND DENTON BY-ELECTION

observer group Democracy Volunteers said it witnessed 291 potential breaches of the secret ballot across the UK at the May elections.

In February, at the Gorton and Denton by-election, this impartial group said it witnessed the highest amount of 'family voting' in its ten-year history, at 15 out of the 22 polling stations at which they had observers across the constituency. They were so alarmed, they took the rare step of publishing their findings as soon as the polls closed.

In February, Greater Manchester Police took no action after saying it found 'no evidence' of the law being broken.

It has since launched an investigation into alleged offences during the May local elections in Tameside, a Manchester metropolitan borough, amid concerns about how candidates were put forward

and represented in the ward. Six arrests have been made.

It is no longer plausible to deny that we have a serious problem with British democracy being hijacked by sectarianism, with voters in some areas of the country putting their allegiance to a particular religion, tribe or clan, ahead of their loyalty to this country. In ten of the 14

wards that make up the Gorton and Denton seat, more than one in five people were born overseas. In one area, Longsight, close to half the population are foreign-born.

You can bet that if this is happening in Manchester and Birmingham then it will also be going on in Bradford, in Oldham, in Blackburn and in London, entire cities where elections are being rigged along sectarian lines.

Community pressures, and the spectre of family voting, in these areas were plain to see.

My early warnings may have been ignored but the fact that Democracy Volunteers raised the alarm and Greater Manchester Police have made arrests is evidence of this national crisis.

We are never going to save Britain if we don't first safeguard our precious democracy. To do that, I believe the Government urgently needs to take three steps.

The first is to dramatically restrict postal voting.

It was Tony Blair who opened up the system to anyone who wanted to vote by post back in 2001, in the cynical belief that it would garner more votes for Labour. In doing so, he ignored warnings at the time from a High Court judge that it was 'wide open to fraud' and opened up our democracy to all kinds of insidious influences.

For years, there has been disturbing evidence that this is being used to game the system, allowing particular minority communities to engage in block voting away from the watchful eye of independent observers in polling stations.

To stamp out this practice, future postal votes should be restricted, as they once were, to those who genuinely need them, such as people serving abroad in the military and those who, due to disability,

«Keep a grip on one of the great and cherished pillars of our national life»

are physically unable to get to a polling station.

Secondly, we need to bring about an end to Commonwealth voting rights. Around 1.7million people from countries such as Australia, New Zealand, Jamaica and India – who, despite the fact that they are not even British citizens, have the right to vote at British elections – have, according to the Office for National Statistics, registered to do so. It is a practice which most right-minded people would regard as absurd.

Finally, we need to take steps to ensure that what I and others witnessed in Gorton and Denton, and what has now been uncovered in Birmingham, cannot happen in the future. It saddens me to say this but if, as a democracy, that means we have to have police in every polling station standing alongside independent observers then so be it.

If we fail to act, then entire areas of the UK will fall under the influence of networks built around religious and clan identities.

We need political leaders in Westminster to stamp this out now; to defend our ancient liberties and keep a grip on one of the great pillars of our national life.

British democracy is a cherished part of who we are. It's time to push back before it's too late.

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AUGUST 25 • 2026 The Mall on Sunday

25

Peter Hitchens

Follow Peter on Twitter @ctarkemichah

Why has Cheshire's police chief quit early? Was the Letby case always flawed?

WHAT is going on in Cheshire's police force? This bold body once made a boastful film about how they caught Lucy Letby. Now they have rather suddenly got rid of their Chief Constable, two years early.

Almost at the top of his recent retirement statement, Chief Constable Mark Roberts made it clear he wasn't going because he wanted to, or when he wanted to. He said: 'I had hoped to take the force through to 2028, but the decision has been made to take the force in a different direction.' Why? We are not told.

I have used up millions of electrons trying to find out. Cheshire police would say only: 'The Chief's contract is a matter for the Police and Crime Commissioner (PCC).' I have sought a response from the office of the Cheshire PCC, but have received none. The Home Office in London say it is nothing to do with them.

What would Sherlock Holmes, the great detective, do? I think he would look at the timing, and also at the things which remain unsaid, or that people have stopped saying.

DO YOU remember when Ms Letby was still supposed to be a monster of cruelty, the undoubted murderer of many babies? Cheshire's finest were so proud of feeling her collar. A senior investigating officer, Paul Hughes, said the police investigation ran for six years and was 'like no other in scope, complexity and magnitude.' He said: 'It was a detailed and painstaking process by a team of almost 70 police officers, and no stone was left unturned.'

Well, we shall see about that. They even called their performance 'Operation Hummingbird', as if it was an invasion of somewhere.

I am told they handed out hummingbird badges, desk ornaments and trinkets to each other to celebrate their supposed triumph. This went on for years.

But now their boss has revealed that he has been forced out, well before he wanted to go. Despite the fact that police forces are publicly financed bodies responsible to the voters, nobody has said why.

Mr Roberts turns 59 on Tuesday and has held his post since 2021. If all is well with the Letby case, surely he should be able to have a couple of golden years before retiring? It seems not. His farewell statement, quite naturally, dwells on the many achievements of his force during his time in

Murder's OK... when Communists do it

WHAT a strange time of year this is – the very Dead of Summer, when nothing is supposed to happen. Yet major events often take place, and one burned on my memory is the Soviet invasion of Prague in 1968.

The Kremlin had previously crushed protest in Berlin in 1953 and Budapest in

1956. The West did nothing. And in 1968 we did nothing again. Isn't that interesting? It's what we had agreed in 1945 at Yalta, when we handed over eastern Europe to Stalin.

In my view, if Moscow's Communists had behaved like the Chinese and violently crushed democratic protest in 1989, they

would still rule half of Europe and half of Berlin, and Western politicians would be travelling to the Kremlin to suck up to the Politburo. Why, they might even make us call Moscow 'Moskva', as the Chinese Communist Party have browbeaten us into calling Peking 'Beijing'. The contrast between then and now is really very odd.

charge. But, oddly, he does not mention the investigation of Ms Letby – the most famous thing they have ever done. Why is that? His force still officially believes the case was one of its successes and that she deserves to die in jail.

As recently as last January they exploded in noisy public displeasure when the Crown Prosecution Service (CPS) refused to begin new prosecutions of the imprisoned nurse. The CPS said, devastatingly: 'We concluded that the evidential test was not met in any of those cases.'

The proper thing for the police might have been to maintain a dignified silence after this smack in the face from some of the coun-

try's most skilled and senior prosecution lawyers. But they still insisted they were right.

They said unlikely: 'This is not the outcome that we had anticipated throughout our investigation; we were confident that we held enough evidence to take to the CPS... We believed the evidence submitted met the CPS charging standard. The CPS did not agree.'

Absurdly, they asserted that the CPS announcement did 'not affect or undermine the convictions of Lucy Letby'. But of course it does.

The original prosecution should have been referred to the top of the CPS, to a national body called the Special Crime Division (SCD).

There is no doubt that this is the rule in cases of alleged multiple murder, especially in hospitals. But for some reason that did not happen. What if it had? Would this lame, evidence-free prosecution ever have got to court in the first place?

INTERESTINGLY, the argument about those new charges went on right up to Wednesday, August 5, this year. Some of the parents of the babies who had allegedly been harmed in these cases appealed to the CPS. They sought a 'Victims' Right of Review'. They asked, as was their right, for the CPS to reconsider its rejection of the new cases. But three weeks

ago, the CPS announced the result of what it called 'an extensive review of the case by a prosecutor independent of the original decisions, involving a re-examination of substantial evidence and material'. The review 'upheld the original decision not to bring any further criminal charges' against Lucy Letby.

The CPS told media: 'This represents a final decision by the CPS.' And five days later, on Monday, August 10, Chief Constable Roberts announced his early departure. Is it all starting to crumble? I cannot say for sure because the people involved will not talk to me. But I think these events are hugely significant.

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27

Andrew to feature in drama on scandals and cover-ups, his lawyers are warned

ANDREW Mountbatten-Windsor is to be depicted in a film recreating scenes from his downfall, The Mail on Sunday can reveal.

Titled The Janitor, it stars Peaky Blinders actor Harry Kirton as a publicist who cleans up the elite's scandals, with one scene dubbed 'The Table of Fifth' recreating episodes from the former prince's downfall.

Producers have yet to say who will play Mr Mountbatten-Windsor, who has consistently denied any wrongdoing.

The former duke was stripped of his royal titles last year following his association with convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein. He was then arrested on February 19 this year, his 66th birthday, and remains under investigation.

Lawyers acting for the former prince

EXCLUSIVE

By Codie Bullen

have been offered a chance to give his side of the story before the script is finalised. But Mr Mountbatten-Windsor has declined to engage with the production, which could be released before Christmas. Buckingham Palace was also approached twice and did not reply.

In one scene, a reporter hands the former prince the infamous picture of himself with Virginia Giuffre, who claimed she was forced to have sex with him when she was 17 – an allegation he has always denied. He has also denied ever meeting her. Ms Giuffre died by suicide last year, aged 41. The former duke's

ex-girlfriend Lady Victoria Hervey, 49, will also be portrayed in the film, though it is not known who will play her.

The final scene shows staff looking at a photograph of him kneeling over a woman – an image included in the Epstein files released in January.

A production source said the film's legal team has 'bulletproofed every single frame' and is prepared for a backlash. The insider added it drags 'into the daylight some of the most toxic cover-ups in modern British history'.

Executive producer Dr Shamsa Akhtar has also said a US TV adaptation may be on the cards. Disgraced newsreader Huw Edwards, 65, was previously revealed to have been asked to play himself – an approach he rejected from production firm Big Bear Little Bear.

INFAMOUS: Andrew kneels over unknown woman

130 BBC executives are paid £178,000-plus...while rank and file staff get 1.5pc rises

EXCLUSIVE

By Sophie Carlin

THE BBC's top executives enjoyed six-figure wage rises as rank-and-file staff were offered increases of just 1.5 per cent, The Mail on Sunday has found.

The largesse is the latest sign of runaway pay at the top of the Beeb, where a record 130 executives now earn more than £178,000 a year – among them 11 HR directors on average salaries of more than £220,000.

It comes as Romesh Ranganathan fronted a star-studded advert to justify the licence fee amid growing uncertainty over whether the BBC's current model, including the £180 charge, can survive.

Ministers may scrap it when the Royal Charter comes up for renewal in December, with a household levy, a subscription model or advertising-based funding being considered.

Overall, 61 executives saw their pay rise by an inflation-busting five figures this year. The BBC must disclose the pay of anyone earning more than £178,000 a year in its annual report, with salaries published in bands of £5,000.

Executives earning above the threshold took home a collective £31 million last year – compared to £15.4 million in 2022/23.

The rises were handed out even as licence fee numbers suffered their biggest annual drop since the pandemic, with 539,000 people stopping payments last year, leaving just 23.3 million households funding the corporation – the lowest since 1999.

The biggest winner was chief content officer Kate Phillips, whose pay packet swelled from £314,999 to a potential £459,999. Rhuanedd Richards saw the

KATE PHILLIPS £314,999 TO £459,999

JOHN McANDREW £229,999 TO £289,999

RHUANEDD RICHARDS £194,999 TO £279,999

ALEX KAY-JELSKI £234,999 TO £294,999

second-biggest rise, with her salary jumping from £194,999 to £279,999, after swapping her old title of 'Nations Director' for 'Interim Director, Nations'.

John McAndrew, director of news, saw his pay rise £60,000 to £289,999, after his role changed from Director, News Programmes. Alex Kay-Jelski, director of

sport, also received an extra £60,000, taking his salary to £294,999 – despite his job title remaining the same.

Storm Fagan rounded out the top five, with an extra £55,000 taking her pay to £409,999, after her role expanded from chief product officer to chief technology and product officer. Deborah Turness

and Tim Davie, who both quit in November following allegations that a Panorama documentary misled viewers by editing a speech by Donald Trump, received pay rises before their resignations.

Ms Turness's salary rose by £15,000 to up to £449,999 in 2025/26, while Mr Davie's increased by the same amount to up to £559,999.

And it's the Fast Night of the Proms

IT'S famed for its pomp and circumstance, but concert-goers may have to make do with the Fast Night of the Proms.

Guests at this year's BBC festival at the Royal Albert Hall in London say there has been a marked drop in the quality of food on offer in the corporation's two hospitality boxes. Revellers in the 12-seat boxes usually get to tuck into a selection of hors d'oeuvres provided by the hall's in-house catering company. But this year they have had to

make do with pub snacks. One guest, who asked not to be named, said: 'I did notice they had pared back. We had crisps, some biscuit-type things and a bowl of peanuts.' Another said they didn't even get crisps and were told that Sam Jackson, controller of BBC Radio 3 and the Proms, had axed hors d'oeuvres in order to save £2,000 a year. A BBC spokesman said: 'Any hospitality provided is proportionate, complies with BBC policies and is incurred only where there is a clear and legitimate business purpose.'

Director-general Matt Brittin has insisted it is 'right' the BBC offers competitive pay to attract talent – but said he would examine the number of senior managers.

Meanwhile, the number of HR directors earning over the £178,000 threshold has more than tripled in three years, rising from three in 2022/23 to 11.

But licence fee payers had to make do with average annual pay rises of just 4.1 per cent, while rank-and-file BBC staff were offered just 1.5 per cent last year.

The corporation also handed out 292 redundancy payments worth more than £100,000 last year, at a combined cost of £37.1 million.

A BBC spokesman said: 'The rises last year reflected promotions to more senior roles and increased responsibilities, against the backdrop of a fiercely competitive market.'

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28

Russian cyber war unit 'behind hoaxcall to PM'

THE hoax messages trick played on Andy Burnham was the work of a Russian cyber warfare unit, it was claimed yesterday.

The Prime Minister said last week that he was not embarrassed to have exchanged messages with a person posing as Donald Trump's chief of staff.

He played down any security

By Brendan Carlin and Abul Taher

leak, insisting that his communication with a person pretending to be White House aide Susie Wiles amounted to 'minimal exchange of information of zero consequence'.

But sources told The Mail on Sunday that the scam was the

work of a unit called Centre 16 which operates within the Kremlin's secretive Federal Security Service (FSB) – and reports directed to Vladimir Putin.

They said the Government Communications Headquarters (GCHQ) and MI5 had identified a 'call pattern' through signal mapping and electronic surveillance

that can generate the caller's number and location. The sources declined to confirm that the call was made directly from Russia. But they added that the UK had developed capabilities to intercept phone data from so-called 'burner phones' by 'interrogating' the SIM card and 'geo-locating' where they are being used from.

One source said: 'All the indicators from this incident point to the Kremlin. What is unclear is how they got the phone number (of Mr Burnham). That is still being investigated.'

Last night, it was reported that ex-foreign secretary David Lammy had given the PM the number that he mistakenly thought was for Ms Wiles.

Analysts have assessed that the phone 'scamming' of UK politicians

'All the indicators point to the Kremlin'

by Moscow is a provocation to show that Putin has the upper hand in electronic warfare on the political stage.

However, last week, the Liberal Democrats called for an investigation into the White House hoax.

Lib Dem MP James MacCleary wrote to Parliament's intelligence and security committee to ask it to consider an inquiry into what he called 'an egregious security breach'.

The Prime Minister said the 'correct action' had been taken in response to the hoax both in the UK and US, but did not provide any details.

UK to mark Ukraine's national day

By Brendan Carlin

CEREMONIES highlighting the UK's solidarity with Ukraine are taking place to mark the country's 35th year of independence.

Andy Burnham will lead ministers in paying tribute to war-torn Ukraine's fight for freedom. Tonight, parts of Westminster and Whitehall will be lit up in the blue and yellow of the nation's flag.

Defence Secretary Wes Streeting, who will attend a candle-lit event at the Ukrainian Cathedral of the Holy Family in London tomorrow, said last night: 'Thirty-five years ago, Ukraine chose independence. Over more than a decade, Putin's illegal war has tried and failed to destroy Ukraine's freedom. We stand proudly with Ukraine.'

Elsewhere, the PM will lead a meeting of the Coalition of the Willing group of pro-Ukrainian countries, with French president Emmanuel Macron and German chancellor Friedrich Merz.

Ukraine voted for independence in 1991 after the Soviet Union collapsed. Failed 'Russian' drone hit on German airport: Page 15

QUOTES of the week

'The human printer'

Nickname for Natalie Harp, who carries a portable printer with her so that she can provide the US President with social media updates.

'If you have sex with someone without their consent, this is called rape. Rape is a serious crime in the UK.'

Advice to asylum seekers in an official government guidebook.

'She thought I was an absolute L, and my drip gave her the major ick.'

Pip describes Estella's feelings toward him in Bare Expectations, a Gen Z slang version of the Charles Dickens classic generated by AI.

'The first thing I need to check is whether I can stand up and sit down six times in a row.'

Shadow energy secretary Claire Coutinho, who stood in for Kemi Badenoch at PMQs while five months' pregnant.

'How more married can you be? We share all our money, we've been living together for 40 years.'

Comedian Ricky Gervais, who says he will marry long-term partner Jane Fallon to avoid a massive inheritance tax bill when he dies.

'You wouldn't walk into the Serengeti and try and put your hand on the face of a lion.'

Shark scientist Kristian Parton on the dangerous trend of influencers swimming or even riding sharks – and suffering bites.

'I was longing to let it out but obviously I couldn't.'

The Queen reveals how she found it difficult not to let slip the King's cancer diagnosis before it was made public.

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v1

29

Harriet Kean

THE TALK OF THE TOWN

Got a story? Email diary@mailonsunday.co.uk

Sacre bleu!

How Hermès caused a stink at The Hurlingham

BELOVED by William and Kate, private members' club The Hurlingham has infuriated its loyal members by closing 'for the first time in its history' so that French luxury fashion brand Hermès could use it for its own 'very British Garden Party'.

'It is appalling,' one irate member told me about the French takeover.

The party was rammed with celebs including Doctor Who star Jenna Coleman, tennis commentator Annabel Croft, Sir Bob Geldof and super-model Erin O'Connor.

My source raged: 'It's the first time ever the club has been closed. They've stooped to accepting money from a brand - a French one at that - and forgetting about the value of the members!' Another told me they were 'deeply disappointed' at being locked out for an entire day.

'The works beforehand stopped me walking round the river walk and sitting in the deckchair by the croquet,' they added.

While the paying members of the club, some of whom waited over 25 years for their memberships, were left fuming, the lavish party spared no expense.

It was thrown to celebrate the fashion brand opening its new store, Maison 166 in Bond Street.

Jools Holland took over the piano to serenade guests, while Fat Boy Slim played a DJ set, to the delight of the attending artists, including Emma Thynn, Marchioness of Bath, and Lady Sitwell.

The closure earlier this summer is not the only thing members of the exclusive club in South-west London are irritated about.

The Thameside spot in Fulham is demolishing two of its tennis courts to make way for two new padel courts. 'Total waste. It'll go out of fashion in a week,' one member moaned.

The Hurlingham Club was contacted for comment.

STAR GUESTS: Jenna Coleman and Emma Thynn at the party

Lily does it by the book

AS dating rumours swirl, Lily James, 37, has posted photos to her 3.1 million Instagram fans of her charity work in Cambodia ... and a picture of a self-help book. Perhaps The Joy Of Living: Unlocking The Secret And Science Of Happiness, by the Buddhist monk Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche, has the answers.

Ophelia's back... in a role not to be sniffed at

OPHELIA Lovibond may adore being a new mother, but like many new mums she admits returning to work - in her case the West End stage - can be something of a relief!

The W1A actress, 40, is set to star in Noel Coward's Hay Fever, her first role since welcoming her first child last December.

And she admits that being back in rehearsals is 'bliss'.

She confided: 'I adore my baby but I felt like my shoulders went down a bit.'

◆ IN her Harry Potter days, Emma Watson could just wave her magic wand for things to happen, but now life is more of an uphill battle, if figures from her two production companies are anything to go by. I can reveal that Breadcrumb and Sofia Rising productions are in a negative net asset position of £324,109 and £43,054 respectively. Or, in English, they haven't taken off.

Charlotte's in bloom

WELSH singer Charlotte Church has found the perfect garden ornament... herself.

Sitting seductively on her lawn in a low-cut frilled dress, she told her 257,000 Instagram followers she needed to 'make more social media content' but added: 'The one thing I do love doing is being in the garden and having a little tinker.'

◆ WHILE most of London's socialite population has decamped to a poolside lounger for the summer, Tigerlily Taylor, right, daughter of Queen drummer Roger Taylor, has been on the frontlines saving the planet.

'Guess who was hauling an illegal octopus trap from the Med last week on the Sea Eagle?' asked the 31-year-old, who was volunteering for marine conservation charity, the Sea Shepherd campaign.

Clearly doesn't mind getting her hands grubby... or the rest of her by the look of things... Dad would be proud.

Pippa's pike

SHE may be the sister of the Princess of Wales and live in a £15 million mansion in Berkshire, but Pippa Middleton and her husband, James Matthews, don't like to rest on their laurels.

Following the folding of their latest entrepreneurial venture, the Bucklebury Farm petting zoo, the pair are now teasing a new activity on the Barton Court website.

'Pike fishing - coming soon.' I wonder if it'll cost as much as their trout fishing, which is up to £1,260 per day for a group.

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30

By WILL STEWART

CAUTOUSLY eyeing her fellow passengers, Anastasia clutched her handbag tighter than usual as she rode on a crowded bus home from her bank's branch in northern Moscow.

This 70-year-old pensioner is now regularly withdrawing money because she hears whispers that Vladimir Putin may grab the savings of ordinary people and plough them into his endless war, or use them to prop up his creaking economy.

'I scoffed at my babushka [grandmother] stashing her roubles under her mattress,' said the modestly well-off retired senior civil servant. 'Now I'm doing the same. I am so concerned and, honestly, scared.'

This time she withdrew just under £1,000-worth of the Russian currency, as she gradually draws down on her savings account.

'I no longer believe in this war and I'm ashamed of my country.'

She is far from alone. Her friends and many others across Russia's 11 time zones are following suit in pulling out their money.

This week a report revealed the amount of cash sloshing around inside Russia has risen by £21.3 billion this year.

The wealthy, meanwhile are spirting their money abroad if they can, with brokerage accounts in Kazakhstan, Kyrgyzstan and Armenia among the favourite outlets, as Western banks are largely closed to them.

These mass withdrawals are causing liquidity problems for Putin's economy and financial sector, already suffering as a result of bad debts following a Kremlin-driven lending boom to ramp up military output.

This gathering economic turmoil in Russia, combined with Putin's failing war in Ukraine and a loss of faith in his core and much-repeated pledge to deliver financial and political stability, mean the Russian President is now facing the perfect storm.

His predicament was crystallised this week after a senior macroeconomist, Andrei Klepach, 67, bluntly warned the President in a leaked speech to a private business club that he 'will not win' his 'war of attrition' with Ukraine.

Klepach dismantled the despot's rationale that if he keeps pressure on Ukraine, it will cave in, handing him victory.

'We have this illusion that everything there will collapse. It has not collapsed and will not collapse,' said Klepach, chief economist at VEB.RP, formerly known as Vnesheconombank, which finances major Putin projects and plays a central role in supporting Russia's war-ravaged economy.

He pointed to the level of Western financial support that will prevent this. Technologically and economically, he warned, Russia is 'losing it not only to China and the US. In some respects, we are losing it to Ukraine.'

He went further and said Putin was leading Russia into an inevitable explosive social crisis, implicitly likening the conditions to those facing President Mikhail Gorbachev – who resigned in 1991 after his political and economic reforms triggered dramatic economic decline – and, earlier, Tsar Nicholas II. 'No one expected the February Revolution [in 1917].'

Why Zelensky's drone 'Russian Amazon' is shellshocked public

he said, pointing out that just weeks before it began, Soviet founder Vladimir Lenin had doubted he would live to witness any revolution.

'The situation in the Soviet Union in 1991 – we had been heading towards it slowly and consistently, and everyone understood that we were heading towards a crisis, but there was no fatal inevitability

The attack on Wildberries left suppliers facing bankruptcy

that the Soviet Union would collapse,' he said.

Hours after the leak appeared, Klepach, for decades a highly respected insider, was fired for his sacrilegious analysis. He can only hope he will not now be thrown into a cockroach-infested cell.

Yet a year ago no one would dare voice such opinions, suggesting Putin no longer transmits anything like the fear and power that he once did. Exiled economic analyst Vyacheslav Shiryaev said

of the Klepach analysis: 'Putin should already be jumping up from his throne, listening carefully and being horrified.'

One dramatic sign of the Russian leader's new vulnerability was an extraordinary U-turn this week concerning a tiny anti-war liberal party called Yabloko (meaning 'Apple' in Russian).

The grouping had been allowed initially to stand in September's so-called national election – in truth a mockery of a free poll because, as usual, it will be rigged to give Putin his chosen percentage of the votes, which is likely to be around 70 per cent.

Yet Putin's apparatchiks suddenly realised that Yabloko was gaining momentum with its anti-war stance, quadrupling its support in three weeks, and posing a danger as a focal point for dissent over the war.

So the Supreme Court was wheeled out to ban the party from the ballot paper on spurious grounds of flouting copyright laws and receiving foreign funding. Kremlin insiders made clear this election rigging was on Putin's personal orders.

Alexei Chaadaev, 47, a political strategist and author who is a long-time evangelist for the dictator, recently warned the

ABLAZE: Moscow Oil Refinery is hit in another strike by Kyiv drones

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31

EASTERNST NEWS / LUKRAINAN PHAGDA

of the country's 'August Curse' or 'Black August' – a reference to the fact that this calendar month has an uncanny habit of shaping future political developments and national ruptures.

It was in August 35 years ago that the last Soviet leader, Mikhail Gorbachev, returned to Moscow from the Black Sea after a three-day hardline coup against him had finally been quashed – a coup attempt from which he would never recover and which toppled him four months later.

August, too, when in 1998 Russia defaulted on domestic debt and devalued the rouble, savaging the savings of millions and instilling a loathing of capitalism and a yearning for the communism of old.

A year later in August, President Boris Yeltsin anointed Putin as Prime Minister and his successor. In August 2000, the Kursk submarine sank killing all 118 on board.

The litany continues with August 2008 when Putin began his first land grabs, going to war with the ex-Soviet state of Georgia. By August 2014 he was pushing into Ukrainian territory in Donbas, massacring hundreds of retreating Ukrainian troops at the battle of Ilovaisk.

So began the 12-year nightmare in eastern Ukraine that continues to this day.

The question now is whether this August Curse will finally bring

«Putin needs this war, but public loyalty is draining away»

Putin, and his incompetent stewardship of Russia, down.

'It's doubtful,' said an academic in Moscow. 'At least not soon. There are clear signs he will soon seek to mobilise more men for the war, yet not announce it as such.'

The number of men covertly leaving Russia in fear of the looming mass mobilisation has been growing. But the doors may soon be slammed shut.

In Krasnoyarsk, a major city in Siberia, residents, including women, are being summoned en masse to military recruitment offices for 'data verification'.

An anti-Putin partisan group, ATESH, has reported 'hidden restrictions on men of mobilisation age leaving the country', including cumbersome airport screening which has meant male travellers missing their flights.

'The authorities fear provoking a wave of panic and are trying to avoid any publicity,' said the group.

The academic added: 'Putin will double down on the war and repression after the election in September. He now admits the damage that the war is causing yet he cannot halt it.'

'He needs either this war or another war to maintain the repression and control that is essential to his grip on power and his wealth.'

'Putin has only one direction, and he will proceed with it until the ruling circle – some of whom can see the folly of his actions – stop him.'

Blitzkrieg on the finally turning the against Putin's war

Kremlin that the anti-war feeling is now widespread in Russia.

'The story involving Yabloko contains an important theme – 'peace is better than war', he posted on social media.

'This proposition enjoys far broader support than that essentially marginal party does.'

'Even among the loyal and obedient electorate of United Russia [a party which is resoundingly pro-Putin], there are millions of men and women quietly muttering under their breath: 'When will this finally end? It's high time they reached an agreement.'

'They're butting heads like rams and spilling so much blood for no good reason.'

'We need peace, negotiations and diplomacy. Enough killing one another and razing to the ground what took decades to build, all for the sake of yet another Mala Tokmachka [a Ukrainian village Russia is unable to 'liberate'.'

'I would cautiously venture that, if not a majority, then at least a very significant part of society thinks roughly this way.'

Chaadaev is no ordinary critic of the war. In the four years since it started, he has become a key figure in producing drones to kill Ukrainians. Yet even he now voices scepticism, and berates Putin's

twisted public excuse for the war – that of 'de-Nazifying' his enemy.

The reality is that Ukraine's new missile and drone-reach deep into Russia, its ability to cripple oil refineries and depots, to hit key military targets and space-rocket factories hundreds of miles from the front lines and to sink shadow fleet tankers and paralyse ports has changed the thinking of key figures in Moscow, if not Putin.

This is almost certainly because the pain of the war is finally now being felt in myriad ways by millions of people across Russia.

Potato prices, for example, have soared almost 40 per cent this year. Almost all Putin's Black Sea and Azov Sea grain exports – worth £11billion a year – have also been scuppered by attacks on ports and commercial vessels, with losses felt by farmers.

Russian Grain Union president Arkady Zlochevsky warned: 'This is a catastrophic level. Colossal losses.'

Putin was this week forced to announce a bailout for Wildberries – aka the Russian Amazon – after dozens of its logistical hubs had been hit by exploding Ukrainian drones, causing an estimated £9billion in damages.

The online marketplace – accused by Kyiv of supplying the

Russian war machine – is secretly part-owned by Putin's closest aides, so the pain would have been felt deep inside the Kremlin.

More acutely, it was felt by suppliers who are staring bankruptcy in the face, with one saying: '97 per cent of my goods burned. How do I pay the loans, and what do I pay my supplier with?'

Margarita Yevstigneyeva, head of the Association of Suppliers of

«Petrol and food shortages, but no empathy from Kremlin»

Goods for E-Commerce Platforms, said more than 400,000 sellers had been affected.

As for Ukraine's attacks on oil refineries, Larisa, 42, spent seven hours over two days in queues to buy petrol in Moscow.

'I drove from the west of Moscow, where I live, to the south and found no petrol station selling petrol, just diesel at some of them,' she said. 'I passed by more than 20 filling stations.' Queues now

stretch for miles outside petrol stations and flights are breaking out on forecourts as tempers fray over queue-jumping or drivers surreptitiously try to fill cans in addition to their tanks while others wait.

Yet Putin and his cronies are unmoved and show a distinct lack of empathy. A telling moment came when, asked on state TV about petrol queues across Russia, where more than 70 per cent of filling stations now have disrupted supplies, Putin's energy minister Sergei Tsivilev, 64, replied smugly: 'I drive diesel.'

This was 'available at all petrol stations', he added.

This week, with his brow furrowed, 73-year-old Putin himself (reading from a prepared script written in giant print size because he refuses to wear glasses) was forced to acknowledge that the Ukrainian attacks were causing significant harm. This was hardly the plan when he announced in 2022 at the start of the invasion that he aimed to wrap up the war in days with the fall of Kyiv.

Putin insisted that there was no crisis, no 'critical consequences'. But he did admit that the attacks by Ukraine's drones 'do, of course, cause us damage – that is obvious. We understand that, we see it.' Many in Russia are now talking

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32

WHO AM I?

• My appearance is based on a description by Mark Twain.
• My middle name is Ethelbert.
• I debuted in 1949, in The Fast and Furry-out. I didn't speak for 16 years and, when I did, I had an upper-class American accent.
• I was almost called Don as a pun on a classic Spanish novel.
• I'm often given a fake Latin name such as Eutis birdius.
• Economists named a phenomenon after me: it's when an economy seems to be doing fine but is just about to come crashing down.
• A new film revolves around

Who? What Where?

OUR fun weekly quiz, in which we ask you to figure out people, places and things in the news...

me suing the Acme Corporation for selling faulty products.

WHAT AM I?

• President Donald Trump just announced tariffs on my

• import, to address a 'national security threat'.

• I used to be called a sackbut.
• I provide the voice of Charlie Brown's teacher and the soundtrack to hell in a Mozart opera.
• Saxophone inventor Adolphe Sax created a version with seven bells, the flared bit the sound comes out of.
• I'm falling out of favour in schools, with just 5 per cent of children playing me.

WHERE AM I?

• I am older than America.
• My gate used to be guarded by

a woman-hating cat called Mike, who was profiled in Time magazine.

• I have the largest indoor space visible on Google Street View.

• Trustees include Mary Beard and Claudia Winkleman, left.

• Banksy sneaked a rock depicting a caveman with a shopping trolley into one of my galleries. It was three days before anyone noticed.
• I used to have a room called the Secretum, containing 'abominable monuments to human licentiousness'.
• The glass ceiling of my Great Court takes two weeks to clean.
• I've been mocked for warning that an event about ancient Egypt features mummies.

Answers: Wile E. Coyote, trombone, the British Museum.

Advertising Standards Authority asa.org.uk

The ASA makes sure UK ads stick to the rules.

Simples.

ASA

Legal, Descent, Honest and Truthful

UK mobile network is so poor 1 in 5 struggle to make calls

BRITAIN'S overloaded mobile network regularly leaves one in five users unable to make calls, The Mail on Sunday can reveal.

Ofcom, the regulator, claims 96 per cent of the population has good 4G coverage, allowing them to stream videos or play games online.

But damning data involving more than 25,000 tests on phone signals found the country was riddled with blackspots that condemn millions to poor signal or no service at all.

Buffering Britain, the app behind the audit, said the findings suggested up to two in five mobile phone users could not play video clips on websites or social media, and up to one in five in some regions

'Worse connectivity than Kazakhstan'

struggled to make a phone call. The consumer group Which? claims Britain's mobile coverage is worse than in all 27 EU member countries and every other member of the G7 group of major economies.

Data usage is growing by a fifth annually in the UK, but phone operators complain that new masts are often blocked by planning officers because of local complaints.

Buffering Britain's findings match early results from another national audit that is mapping the phone network using trackers attached to council refuse lorries and trains.

Data from Dorset shows only 63.5 per cent of the county has

EXCLUSIVE

By Nicholas Pyke

'good' 4G coverage from at least one operator, even though Ofcom claims a figure of 99.9 per cent.

According to the Dorset survey, just 82.2 per cent of the county road network has even 'basic' coverage from at least one mobile network operator. This means it is hard or impossible to make mobile calls across almost a fifth of the region.

Streetwave, the Government-backed data group behind the project, has found similar gaps between Ofcom's claims and the reality for customers in 130 counties and metropolitan boroughs.

Buffering Britain's audit is based on tests conducted through its phone app, with thousands signing up since it was launched last month. It said: 'Britain has worse mobile connectivity than Kazakhstan. It's an embarrassment.'

Streetwave said: 'The results from Dorset highlight a significant gap between official claims – based on models and data supplied by the industry itself – and the connectivity consumers actually experience.'

Last month, former security minister Tom Tugendhat wrote in this newspaper that the phone signal in London was worse than in Kabul a decade ago, and phones were now 'useless in vast areas of Britain'.

The trade body Mobile UK said: 'Operators are pouring billions into network upgrades, but rollouts are stalled by sluggish planning regimes and regulatory inertia.'

---

ROYAL EXCLUSIVE

33

By NICHOLAS PYKE

HE FOUND fame as the Californian 'horse whisperer' who even charmed the Queen of England.

But when trainer Monty Roberts died three weeks ago aged 91, he left a lasting legacy not only at the Royal stables – where he was a regular visitor for 35 years – but in horsemanship around the world.

The late Queen so admired Roberts' pioneering techniques for breaking-in horses – using gentle persuasion, not brutality – that the two became unlikely friends. One of the last films Elizabeth made was a documentary about Roberts' work, The Cowboy And The Queen.

However, The Mall on Sunday has been told their unique collaboration went further still, and that, together, they helped to establish a pioneering scheme for British military veterans and emergency workers suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

The result is Warrior Equine, a charity which today uses sessions working with horses to restore the health and sanity of soldiers and police officers, for example.

It turned out that, aside from his work as a trainer, Roberts had already used his horses to help thousands of traumatised US servicemen at his ranch in California and when, in her later years, Her Majesty got to hear of this, she was determined a similar scheme should be established in Britain, reveals historian and royal biographer Hugo Vickers.

'The Queen wanted this to develop in the United Kingdom and across the world,' said Vickers, who is updating his latest

'Joy in her face when she heard their stories'

biography, Queen Elizabeth II: A Personal History.

Roberts' first involvement with British soldiers was in 2014, when the American ran a series of brief courses with servicemen through the Help For Heroes charity. It proved such a success that similar events soon followed.

'At this point, the Queen was taking a private interest,' said Vickers. 'The organisers produced a report after each session and it went to Her Majesty. In 2017, she asked Sir Redmond Watt, Major-General of the Household Division, to become involved and he has continued to be massively supportive with access to military personnel.'

'In 2019, the Queen invited the team to the Royal Mews at Windsor Castle to give her a private demonstration. She told Terry Pendry, her groom, that they could use any of her horses, and some veterans who had already completed the course went through their paces.'

Vickers continued: 'Afterwards there was a tea which was meant to last 15 minutes and in fact lasted over an hour. One person who was there told me that Her Majesty sat at a table of six, including two veterans and a Welsh Guards colonel.'

'There was "joy in her face" when she heard the stories, including one from a man whose life had effectively been saved from the threat of suicide.' One of those present that day was Ele Milwright, who

How the Queen and the horse whisperer teamed up to rescue trauma-hit soldiers

UNLIKELY

BOND: US trainer Monty Roberts with Elizabeth at Windsor in 1989. Right, Roberts in 2023. Left, Jim Goddard of Warrior Equine helps veteran Al Strudwick to gain a horse's trust in April this year

had organised Roberts' British clinics and, with the Queen's backing, established Warrior Equine in 2019. Today, her charity works with groups including the Household Cavalry, The King's Troop Royal Horse Artillery, the Army, the Navy and emergency services. 'I know that the Queen very much wanted this to happen,' Mil-

wright said. 'Her Majesty wanted us to widen our work beyond what we'd done with Help For Heroes to include serving personnel and workers from the emergency services. She recognised the unique strains and enormous psychological pressures and difficulties they faced in the course of their duty. 'Having had the privilege of sit-

ting down with the Queen and hearing first-hand her support, I was determined to repay her faith in us. She was very much the catalyst.'

Yet the relationship between the Queen and Monty Roberts nearly got off to a bad start, explained Vickers. 'The Queen knew her retired Crown Equerry, Sir John Miller, was to visit friends in Cali-

fornia, and she sent him to the ranch to see what Roberts was doing. When this moustachd figure arrived, Roberts took one look at him and thought he came straight from casting in Hollywood.

'Roberts was convinced the visit was a practical joke arranged by his neighbours. Miller thought Roberts was a charlatan who was using concealed sugar lumps to tame the horses. The two men gradually became impressed by their respective equestrian knowledge and skills, however.

'Miller gave the Queen a favour-

'Her Majesty took my work to the world'

able report, so she invited Roberts to Windsor in April 1989.

Vickers added: 'The Queen watched him at work in the Royal Mews – as did the Queen Mother and Prince Philip. Roberts tamed 23 horses in five days, getting one rider into the saddle in 29 minutes.

As Roberts put it: 'Her Majesty took my work to the world and, with her influence, the world is changing dramatically away from violence in training horses.'

According to Vickers, Terry Pendry, the Queen's groom, learnt to follow Roberts' methods and introduced them to the Household Cavalry. Pendry later said Roberts 'did more for the animal kingdom than anyone'.

---

34

The Maldives?

A soggy caravan site on stilts...

Whispering

Angel rosé?

Lady Beckham loves

it... I rest my case And sunsets?

If you've seen one, you've seen them all!

Globetrotting MARK PALMER'S withering verdict on the 'OMG' experiences everyone raves about

THERE'S nothing wrong with heightened expectation. But it's so easy to be let down when the experience doesn't match the hype. So many things are overrated – but we go along with them because everyone else says they are so 'OMG' amazing. When, really, they're as dull as recycled ditchwater. The time has come to fight back. 'Get real,' as Americans like to say, and yet they are more guilty than most for pandering to the overrated. Here's my unfiltered list...

FIREWORKS

FINE if it's good old barny between two friends, but sending noisy pyrotechnics into the air just burns money – and you're meant to go 'ooh' and 'aah' at every turn.

THE MALDIVES

MOST 'paradise' resorts are like soggy caravan parks on stilts. And you're trapped, which means you either pay £80 for a bottle of indifferent Chardonnay – or you go without. No culture. No views. No point.

EXPENSIVE CARS

THE tech is frightening. I was locked out of my swanky Audi the other day, with the key inside. I had to hire the local car thief to work his magic. Are you in control of your car or is it in control of you?

DINNER PARTIES

THEY had a resurgence in the 1980s – and cling on for dear life. You're asked for 7.30pm but don't sit down to eat until 9.30pm because the Jacksons are running late. You're done with witty conversation by the end of the first course and then long to make a break for it.

JAPANESE LOOS

TERRIFYING. They're thought to be hygienic just because they feature heated seats and spurt water at your bum, while making strange noises. But press the wrong button and all hell lets loose.

SUNSETS

NOT quite a question of when you've seen one, you've seen them all – but you get my drift. I was once marched up to the top of a hill in Cambodia with thousands of other tourists for a 'life-changing event' but the sun rightly refused to make an appearance. So we marched back down again.

SPEEDY BOARDING

OR 'priority boarding'. What's the difference, apart from making your wallet lighter? Perhaps it offers a sense of superiority. It might get you on the plane a few minutes faster but your seat will still be there even if you're at the back of the queue.

THOMAS TUCHEL

THE German coach of the England football team was meant to win the World Cup and make up for Saint Gareth bottling it. But when 1-0 up against the Argies, he hoisted the white flag and invited Messi and co to run rampant, which they accepted with glee.

TASTING MENUS

ENTIRELY for the benefit of self-regarding chefs and a chance for waiters to wax lyrical about the 'sea- snail foam'. By course six, you're ready to be carried out and even when you think it's all over, along comes (complimentary from the chef) another minuscule dessert. Then the chef appears and you tell him he's a genius.

NEW YEAR'S EVE

THAT final hour between 11pm and midnight goes on forever. But you have to stick around. Those without partners are reminded of their single status; those with part- ners, but who aren't married, might secretly hope for a pro- posal, but it doesn't happen and those who are partnered or mar- ried just want to hit the sack at a reasonable hour. And good luck finding a cub.

JACUZZIS

WHAT is the point of marinating in a communal bath of frothing water and pretending you're float- ing on a celestial cloud, while the

couple opposite are starting to get amorous after one too many margaritas? Have a hot bath at home and be done with it.

THEME PARKS

RUINOUSLY expensive and it normally ends in tears. I took my eight-year old daughter to Disney- land Paris and we waited 50 min- utes for the Dumbo the Flying Elephant ride. Which lasted all of 45 seconds. Junk food, crowded and watch out for pickpockets.

WHISPERING ANGEL ROSÉ

ONE small sip for man; one giant leap for aspiring mankind. That's the message – and my goodness it's working. A bottle costs around

£22 but even if it were to rise to £42, there would still be enough takers, such has been the market- ing triumph. Lady Beckham swears by it. I rest my case.

FLAVOURED WATER AND TONICS

VOLVO, has a 'touch of straw- berry' water; Radnor do an 'apple and raspberry splash', while Fever -Tree is laughing all the way to the bank with its elderflower tonic and such like. A return to good old tap would not go amiss.

BARBECUES

A CHANCE for Johnny to come into his own. But he's left the light- ing of the charcoal too late. Ten-

sion is mounting – until Miranda makes the call to finish off the chicken wings in the oven.

Next year, he'll buy a gas-fired jobbie, which isn't really a BBQ at all. But it will cut down on the carcinogens wafting over the neighbour's fence.

NETFLIX

SO much choice, so little depth. Cancel the subscription and you're made to feel you are missing out. You're not. Read a book instead.

ANYTHING CALLED 'IMMERSIVE'

BOUND to disappoint. The idea that you're drawn into some performance or cultural event in

such a way that all other feelings are put on hold is clearly absurd. Immerse yourself in the National Gallery but don't expect the gallery to do the immersing.

MIAMI, FLORIDA

NOT just because The Donald lives there. Yes, the Art Deco buildings are worth a look but the traffic is deadlocked, prices are astronomical, loud music blares permanently and if you haven't the perfect body then you won't enjoy the boardwalk that's really a cat-walk for poseurs.

AIRPORT TROLLEYS

YOU can never find a pound coin, euro or dime. And even if you do,

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35

these contraptions are devils to release from the pack and then refuse to move in the right direction. It's another money-making wheeze from airports happy just to charge you for showing up.

OMELETTES

FLAT as a pancake and even when filled with various extras they don't taste of anything much at all. And yet there's always an orderly queue at the omelette station at breakfast buffets. Fluffy scrambled eggs deliver far more.

TRUFFLE-FLAVOURED CRISPS

SUPER-POSH crisps for which you are likely to pay £6 a bag. The secret is in the name. These are flavoured crisps, deep-fried and loaded with fats, sodium and carbohydrates. Real truffles contain antioxidants and healthy minerals.

VALENTINE'S DAY

EVERYONE – except restaurants which hike their prices – hates this coercive date in the calendar. Cupid's arrows may be sharpened on February 14 but invariably they miss the target.

MATCH OF THE DAY

YOU get more banal 'Arsenal were just happy to park the bus' analysis than you do action on the pitch. It doesn't help that the show squeezes in every game that's been played on any given Saturday or Sunday.

In the good old Des Lynam days,

only three games were featured, meaning that you got a real sense of what went on. Today, it's just the briefest of highlights. And, nothing against Alan Shearer personally (well, not much anyway) but how on earth can the BBC afford to pay him around £400,000 a year for a few hours of work a week!

AVOCADOS

THEY are forced to ripen and increasingly tasteless. Never

mind the environmental damage, high water demands and links to deforestation and organised crime in many production regions.

LOBSTER

NORMALLY the most expensive dish on the menu – and it never fails to promise more than it delivers. Primarily, that's because it delivers so little. Where's the meat? Especially in the claws, which require

the use of lobster picks. It's a messy business at the best of times and you normally end up longing for seconds.

FARROW & BALL PAINT

LOVELY colours but decorators hate working with this water-based stuff with silly names such as Elephant's Breath and Dead

Salmon – and no wonder. You need several coats to arrive at an acceptable finish, making it an expensive choice. Just choose a colour and take it to your local Leylands and they will mix it up for you at half the price.

SHARING PLATES

'WE recommend you have 12 in total for the four of you,' says the chirpy waiter. Which might seem a good idea at the time but only the brazen end up being fed properly. Those who lean towards over-politeness or are a little shy tend to hold back – and end up having a Burger King on the way home.

HEAD & SHOULDERS

EVERYONE knows that this shampoo doesn't do exactly what it says on the tin. It's so-called 'medicated' but seems to work like paint stripper and yet somehow it survives, thanks in part to highly-paid, celebrity footballers fronting the ads.

CLAUDIA WINKLEMAN

SHE was finally rumbled when given her own talk show, proving that without a set script she is all at sea. Her performances on The Traitors are despairingly contrived and there's something about that fringe that's ridiculous. She should have stayed put on Strictly, where her inadequacies were disguised by being in a duo.

But this makes life worthwhile

WEEDING

ONE of the great therapeutic treats – and won't cost a penny. Pull out those invaders as if they're obstructing your personal freedom. It's a liberation of sorts.

THE CINEMA

TURN off your mobile, buy a bucket of popcorn – and settle down. Even better if you're on your own and don't have to worry about his or her enjoyment of the film.

MCDONALD'S FRIES

DON'T listen to the food police, these beauties are made from a perfectly healthy vegetable oil blend – and the salt is always

evenly distributed. Heaven in a little box.

A NEGRONI

EQUAL measures of Campari, gin and sweet vermouth – a three-part harmony, a menage a trois, a Holy Trinity. The best cocktail in the world.

IRONED CLEAN SHEETS

THAT'S why staying occasionally in a smart hotel is such a treat. Some change the sheets daily. The secret is in the ironing.

LAUGHTER

THE full-on mind and body collaboration. People say it can

boost the immune system, relax muscles, aid circulation and even protect against heart disease.

SILENCE

WHY does my local M&S food store play music at a high volume? It makes you want to buy less not more. Silence really is golden.

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36

NEXT WEEK'S NEWS...TODAY!

THE Mail on Sunday takes an irreverent look at the stories that just might be breaking over the coming days...

MONDAY

Sources close to the Duchess of Sussex confirm that she will be taking up an acting role when she returns to the UK – specifically, acting like she never said all those damaging things about the Royal Family. Meanwhile, Harry and Meghan's return will be celebrated with a series of street parties... in Montecito.

TUESDAY

Andy Burnham insists he wasn't taken in by the fake White House official who messaged him last week. 'It quickly became clear he had no authority to speak on behalf of his country,' said the prankster.

WEDNESDAY

The judge who ordered Sir Elton John to pay millions in fees over his failed court case against the Mail says he came

to his decision after carefully considering the singer's legal argument and concluding: 'It's a little bit phoney...'

THURSDAY

Jacob Elordi starts dating a teenager who drew a love heart around his picture and wrote 'my boyfriend' on it – in the same

way the Strait of Hormuz is now US territory after Donald Trump circled it on a map.

Government officials deny overusing the UK emergency system after sending out a phone alert saying: 'Looks like rain, don't forget your coat.'

FRIDAY

Amid growing concern that human resources departments do more harm than good, phone network Three becomes the latest firm to get rid of HR altogether... and will now be known as Tee.

SATURDAY

After testing positive for cocaine Nick Kyrgios's future in tennis will be decided by a line judge.

Stop whacking Judy, Mr Punch – it's 2026

By Chris Hastings

THE clue is in the name... Punch and Judy – a knockabout puppet show in which the couple argue and hit each other with sticks to the delight of watching children.

But its days seemed numbered after critics accused it of trivialising domestic violence.

Now, after several years of decline, it's back – albeit in a rather neutered form.

Britain's dwindling band of Punch and Judy puppeteers – or 'professors' – are in demand again after removing any hint of violence from performances.

Joe Burns, who runs one of the last Punch and Judy shows, said he had performed his own reworked version almost 150 times since the May bank holiday.

Mr Burns, who is based in Dorset, added: 'Punch and Judy does seem to be having a revival at the seaside. Most performers don't hit Judy any more.'

The old-fashioned Punch and Judy show, which can trace its origins back to 1662, was once a seaside staple.

In its heyday, hundreds of professors plied their trade in coastal

resorts – now there are just three working through the summer.

Mr Burns doesn't believe the pretend violence upset children, but he accepted that the show had to reflect changing times.

He said: 'Children should be given the credit that they know it's make-believe. Punch has been in the UK for 364 years – it would never have survived if it didn't adapt and change.'

Some have criticised the revamp for 'going woke', claiming the traditional shows simply portrayed

harmless fun, much as Tom & Jerry cartoons do. But in 2016, a Punch and Judy show was pulled from an event in South Wales for downplaying violence.

In 2024, drama experts at the University of Exeter began formulating a more gender-balanced representation. Dr Alissa Mello, who led the Judy Project, said: 'Some audiences view it as misogynistic. But others understand it as unruly, romping family entertainment and its place within the English cultural heritage of misrule.'

WILL IT BE ALL RIGHT TO HAVE A BARBECUE NOW?

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£15,000 TO BE WON

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Mr only 10+ Total price found in £15,000. Multiple purchase required. Terms apply. See next Saturday's Daily Mail for full terms.

---

37

DAN HODGES

ON FRIDAY morning Reform chairman Lee Anderson took to X to hail his party's victory in Thursday's Harraby South (Cumberland) Council by-election. In reply, I pointed out that Reform had contested two other local authority by-elections that evening, both of which they had lost.

It earned me the following response: 'Dan as rule I don't often respond to your posts. However, after your social [media] rants about Reform UK over the past few months it has become quite clear that you would qualify for the high rate of PIP.'

'Don't bother filling a form out, just show the DWP your X page. All you need now is a carer.'

Compared to his colleagues, Anderson's post was relatively tame. Over the past week, as scrutiny has intensified over the ongoing infighting within Reform, a series of senior party figures – most notably Zia Yusuf and Richard Tice – have taken to social media to lambast the Press.

Yusuf attacked the editor of The Spectator, the magazine's political editor and the Daily Mail's senior political-correspondent-at-large, by name. Tice joined in launching additional attacks on The Times, Daily Mirror and The Guardian.

The assault didn't begin or end there. In the past month, Tice used his lawyers to threaten legal action towards journalists exploring his financial affairs.

A fortnight ago, it emerged close Nigel Farage ally. Arron Banks had employed private detectives to investigate The Sunday Times journalist who had exposed additional information relating to the Reform leader's £5million gift from Thai crypto-billionaire Christopher Harborne, and links to convicted fraudster 'Posh' George Cottrell.

And Farage himself had angrily raised the spectre of the Leveson Inquiry when confronted by a Sky News camera crew over the same issues at Heathrow Airport.

Reform's leadership has become increasingly thin-skinned as the party's poll lead has evaporated and the questions over its dubious finances have persisted.

Threats towards the media from Farage and his acolytes could normally be dismissed as part of the rough and tumble of politics.

But they are no longer being prosecuted in isolation. Across the political spectrum a dangerous, self-serving consensus is starting to form that the British media must be brought to heel.

With traditional calls for regulation now being replaced by direct and overt intimidation of journalists who dare to defy the prevailing party or ideological line.

In the wake of the tragic death of Cambridge Professor Jason Arday, the liberal Left embarked on a witch-hunt to identify and shame those journalists who had reported on the plagiarism scandal. At a vigil held in London's Trafalgar Square, one of the attendees claimed Arday had been 'tynched by the British media'.

The so-called 'fury press' inevitably found itself in the firing line. But the most self-righteous – and vicious – fury was directed

The freedom of the British Press faces a pincer movement from the Right AND Left. No one is safe

at the Left's own. Jolyon Maugham, director of the Good Law Project, condemned The Guardian for having 'borrowed freely from attack lines' carried by other media outlets.

Amnesty International lambasted the 'toxic, unregulated media culture' and demanded fresh constraints in the form of 'Arday's Law'.

Meanwhile, The Guardian and NUJ were forced to condemn racist attacks against black journalists who had covered the story.

But that was still not enough for some. The editor of the progressive

sive online site Novara Media was forced to issue a public apology for his decision to report on Arday.

One of his colleagues delivered a tearful repudiation of his own journalism, in an on-camera plea for forgiveness, stating 'the image of me as a journalist capable of great callousness is now permanently on the page. 'It's one I can't escape, and I think that's a necessity to ensure I never make such grave and irresponsible errors of judgment again', he added.

There has always been pressure

from the elite to control and suppress how the media interrogates them. But British Press freedom is now facing an unprecedented pincer-movement from both the Left and the Right.

Zack Polanski and Nigel Farage agree on nothing. Except a mutual desire to crush scrutiny of them and their disparate tribes. 'There will be serious consequences if you continue,' Farage barked at the Sky News journalists at Heathrow.

In response to Arday's death, Polanski raged that the academic had been the 'subject of sustained and malicious media attacks which were no doubt more vicious because he was black'.

As a result there should be an inquiry into the 'culture and behaviour' of the media which needs to be 'sorted out', he added.

At the moment, neither Polanski nor Farage nor Maugham have the power to see the media muzzled. But one man does. And some siren voices have reportedly begun whispering to Andy Burnham that the time has come to slap the Right-wing, and disloyal Left-wing, Press into line.

During the Makerfield by-election, the actors Hugh Grant and Steve Coogan made surprise visits to the constituency to back Burnham's campaign.

They may have been impressed by his commitment to extending the eligibility of disabled bus passes. Or it could have been to do with their ongoing campaign to force through new Press regulation, known as Leveson II.

The official line from Burnham's team is fresh regulation is not at the top of his agenda. But according to one minister: 'There are some people close to Andy

pushing Leveson II. It's not top of his to-do list at the moment. But it's under consideration.'

Those advocating the neutering of the Press claim it is to curb its excesses. But the reality is the current threat is a product of the media's recent successes.

The exposure of the Mandelson/Epstein scandal played its part in the downfall of Keir Starmer.

The exposure of Jason Arday's plagiarism had tragic consequences but was legitimate and necessary journalism.

The ongoing exposure of Nigel Farage and Reform's finances are

«Reality is that current threat is product of media's recent successes»

similarly shedding an important light on the inner workings of the party that aspires to be our next government.

And people across the political spectrum hate it.

Nurtured by social media, fuelled by a polarising tribalism, promoted by politicians of all persuasions who wish the Press would simply leave them to their own devices, the attacks on journalism and journalists are now reaching a dangerous pitch.

Yes, the Press has been threatened before. But this is the first time in recent memory that such an unholy anti-media alliance has started to form.

Press freedom is no longer a Left-wing/Right-wing issue. Novara. The Times. The Guardian. The Daily Mail. They are coming for everyone. No one is safe. Nobody will be spared.

---

38

As fires blamed on the green energy devices soar 133 per cent in three years...

Is Ed Miliband's race to Net Zero turning Britain into a solar panel

'THEIR BOX?'

By KATHRYN KNIGHT

building and fire safety'. Mark Evans and his family don't need reminding of what those risks look like – and nor are they the only ones. In the last three months, two separate properties have been engulfed in flames which, photos show, started on the roofs where solar panels are situated.

In early July, 54-year-old Tammi Atherton was also alerted to a fire at her Bristol home by the frantic knocking of a neighbour.

Racing outside with her son Ben, she discovered that the roof of her home – completed just two years earlier – was ablaze, flames tearing across it.

So ferocious was the blaze that although fire fighters arrived within minutes, it raged for four hours, with thick plumes of smoke

billowing down the residential street as the family watched helplessly. The fire service told the family that the solar panels on the roof were likely to blame.

Six weeks before the Atherton's home went up in smoke the roof of a home in Wellingborough, worth about £600,000, burst into flames after solar panels apparently exploded. The incident left residents looking anxiously at the identical panels on their own roofs and wondering whether, as one put it, they were 'sat in tinderboxes'.

Northamptonshire Fire and Rescue Service said its investigator had concluded the fire had most likely started due to an electrical fault in the loft area.

With solar panels adorning the majority of houses in the neighbourhood, one resident, who asked not to be named, told the Daily Mail this week: 'Solar panels are supposed to draw heat from the sun and create power. How has that gone wrong?' That is the million-dollar question.

According to Adrian Simmonds, risk manager at insurer QBE, the

answer frequently lies not with solar technology itself, but with the way it has been installed. 'It's clear installation quality and fire safety are not keeping pace with the speed of deployment,' he says. 'Poor cabling and connectors are the leading cause, with fires often

«Poor cabling and connectors are the leading cause of fires»

spreading to the wider building. Faulty installations, substandard fittings and poor electrical connections all heighten risks.'

There is another emerging concern. Mr Simmonds points out that many new solar panel systems now incorporate battery storage – designed to retain surplus electricity generated by the panels so that it can be used later, rather

MARK Evans had barely stepped over the threshold of his home on a sunny afternoon after returning from watching his sons play rugby when a neighbour hammered on his door. 'Your solar panels are on fire,' he shouted.

Racing back outside, Mark was confronted by a sight he will never forget: Flames and thick black smoke shooting from the roof of the house he had spent years planning and building.

Within five minutes, the entire roof was ablaze. By then the fire service had arrived, but despite their valiant efforts, the flames tore through the 5,500 sq ft property with terrifying speed until the entire building was an inferno.

'We literally lost everything,' father-of-two Mark, 58, says quietly. 'It was the worst moment of my life.'

And perhaps what made the devastation harder to bear was that this was not just any house. After three decades working in property development and building multiple homes of his own, Mark had drawn on everything he knew to create Evershot Hall, situated in the charming Essex hamlet of Tolleshunt Knights.

Completed in 2018, it was his seventh build – and, he believed, his last. A forever home for wife Sarah, 49, and their two children Jack, now 22 and 19-year-old Harry.

'It's a house that took me decades of experience to build,' he says. 'We were in our dream home.' What's more, the imposing property was designed to be not only beautiful but energy efficient. With no gas supply to the site, installing solar panels on its roof had seemed an obvious

«We were left with just the clothes we were standing in»

ous choice. 'Everything was electric, so it was a no-brainer,' Mark recalls.

Three years later, on an otherwise unremarkable April day in 2021, he stood outside and watched all of it – the dreams, the plans, and everything his family owned – go up in smoke.

'We were left with just the clothes we were standing in,' Mark says now. 'And while some things you can replace, other stuff is gone forever – photo albums and christening gowns. The locket with your kids' first piece of hair. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.'

A freak accident? Perhaps. But it seems the Evanses are far from alone.

This month, alarming new data revealed that fires involving solar panels in the UK rose by 133 per cent between 2022 and 2025, climbing from 91 incidents to 212 and significantly outstripping the 52 per cent growth in total UK solar installations over the same period.

Those 212 rooftop fires – up 37 per cent on the previous year – damaged 102 homes and commercial buildings, schools and hospitals.

The true figure could be higher still, as the statistics are based on Freedom of Information requests to fire services, and only 37 of the 49 approached provided data.

The findings inevitably raise questions about whether fire safety has kept pace with the extraordinary speed of Britain's attempted transition to solar power under the Government's drive towards Net Zero.

Under the Clean Power Action Plan, the UK aims to generate enough clean electricity to meet its annual demand by 2030, with former Energy Secretary Ed Miliband aggressively pushing for a huge expansion of solar energy.

The result has been record levels

of solar installation: as of August 2025, there were 1,834,584 solar installations across the country.

Yet there remain striking gaps in our understanding of the risks. As the Building Research Establishment (BRE) – a research-based building science centre that provides testing, certification, and standards for the construction sector – points out: 'At present, there is a lack of evidence-based information on how often fires involve solar panel systems, which parts of the system may be responsible, or how these fires develop.'

The National Fire Chiefs Council, meanwhile, has said it is 'concerned' that the Government is trying to make it easier to implement these types of technologies 'without considering the risk to

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39

FLAT-PACK FURNACE: Fire crews at Ikea store's solar panel roof blaze

than immediately exported back to the grid.

While they can potentially make solar power more efficient, batteries introduce another layer of fire risk, particularly when units are installed in lofts, airing cupboards or upper-floor spaces which can be difficult for firemen to access.

Nor is the problem confined to private homes. On July 8, solar panels were believed to have been involved in a devastating fire at a North Yorkshire hospital after a unit at Malton Hospital, which provides mental health services for older people, went up in flames, destroying the building.

A month later came another incident, this time at a village primary school in Suffolk, when a fire started at East Bergholt Primary School – thankfully unoccupied, as it was the school holidays. Solar panels were to blame.

Last October about 250 people were evacuated from an Ikea store in Wembley, north-west London, when a fire broke out on the building's roof at about 10.30am on a weekday morning. It emerged that some 100 solar panels were alight at the premises.

Taken individually, incidents such as these seem rare. Collectively, however, they are prompting urgent questions about whether installation, inspection and maintenance standards are keeping pace with Britain's enthusiasm for installing solar panels.

QBE's criticism of installation standards is echoed by the Association of British Insurers (ABI), which warns that poorly installed or inadequately maintained solar systems could invalidate insurance policies.

Yet none of these concerns appears to have dampened the Government's enthusiasm for solar. The next stage of the revolution is about to bring the technology even closer to millions.

From Thursday, we will be able to buy plug-in solar panels after the Government changed the law to enable major retailers to sell them for the first time.

The idea is simple – on paper at least, but unlike conventional solar installations, which are hard-wired on to roofs by installers and designed to supply an entire house, these smaller DIY systems

can plug directly into a standard three-pin wall socket.

Kits are expected to be stocked by retailers including Currys, B&Q and Asda, with prices about £350 – £400. Their output is modest, generating roughly 0.5 to 2.5kWh daily and helping offset the background electricity used by fridges and other devices left on standby.

Nonetheless, their imminent arrival in British homes has prompted fresh concern among electrical contractors.

However, the solar industry insists it is important to keep the risks in perspective.

This week, a spokesman for trade body Solar Energy UK said: 'The UK has over two million roof-top solar installations – around

'Technology is about to get closer to millions of us'

1.7million on homes – and the majority operate safely throughout their lifetime.

'As deployment increases, the number of incidents may also increase, but this does not indicate that solar is becoming less safe.'

Statistically, that may be true. Yet for Sarah and Mark Evans a tiny percentage risk can still mean catastrophic consequences.

It took nearly two years, and huge amounts of stress as they dealt with complex and labyrinthine insurance issues, for their home to be rebuilt – this time without solar panels.

And while the fire brigade put the catastrophic event down to an unknown cause, Mark is clear what was to blame.

'I know what happened, I know what my neighbour saw and what I saw,' he says.

Today, the traumatic legacy of that April day runs deep – although he is grateful for one thing: 'We could have been upstairs at the time and that might have been a different outcome,' he says. 'I'm just very glad we're all still here.'

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40

v1

By Andrew Young

A DAMAGED rotorblade from an earlier incident may have caused the helicopter crash that killed a British couple on honeymoon in Greece last week.

The Bell 206 helicopter was carrying Alexander Cromie, 31, and Marie Ebert, 30, when the pilot apparently lost control while coming in to land on the island of Sifnos on Monday.

Witnesses saw the helicopter spinning out of control, suggesting it had a tail rotor failure, before it crashed, killing the newlyweds and the Greek pilot.

Investigators are said to be

Was newlyweds' chopper damaged before fatal crash?

looking at whether the crash was linked to a scare involving the helicopter 11 weeks earlier.

Restraining straps were put in place after the aircraft landed

on Paros on June 1 to immobilise the tail blades so they would not move in high winds.

But the pilot failed to ensure the straps had been removed before

starting the engine again to fly passengers off the island, according to a report filed with Greece's Civil Aviation Authority.

Experts are said to be assessing whether the straps could have caused any strain or damage to the tail assembly.

The investigation will be hampered by the intense fire that destroyed much of the helicopter.

Flight tracker records suggest the helicopter remained in Paros for three weeks after the June 1 incident. It later received an air-worthiness certificate, on July 2.

The civil aviation authority has ruled that 'visual and functional checks' be carried out on the tail rotors of all Bell 206 helicopters before every flight in Greece as a precaution following the crash.

Mr Cromie, a vice-president in private wealth solutions for asset management company Blackstone, and Ms Ebert are thought to have booked an 80-mile flight to

HONEYMOON TREAT: Marie Ebert and Alexander Cromie

Sifnos costing £1,300 as a honeymoon treat.

A spokesman for Blackstone said Mr Cromie was 'beloved by everyone who worked with him'.

Management consultant Bain & Company, which employed Ms Ebert as a senior specialist, described her as a 'much-loved and deeply respected' member of its London team.

Relatives of Mr Cromie and Ms Ebert are reported to have flown to Athens to formally identify their bodies.

MUSIC2YOU

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Featured among these classics including Can't Help Falling In Love, It's Now Or Never, Love Me Tender, Are You Lonesome Tonight?, Surrender, Return To Sender and Don't Be Cruel,

1 Disc one

1 Can't Help Falling In Love 2 It's Now Or Never 3 She's Not You 4 The Girl Of My Best Friend 5 I'm Coming Home 6 Fever 7 Shoppin' Around 8 That's When Your Heartaches Begin 9 (Now And Then There's) A Fool Such As I 10 One Night 11 Don't Ask Me Why 12 I'm Left, You're Right, She's Gone 13 Blue Hawaii 14 I Beg Of You 15 A Mess Of Blues 16 Love Me

17 Don't Leave Me Now 18 Don't 19 I Forgot To Remember To Forget 20 How's The World Treating You? 21 Such A Night 22 Are You Lonesome Tonight? 3 Disc two 1 Have I Told You Lately That I Love You? 2 Good Luck Charm 3 Love Me Tender 4 Wooden Heart 5 True Love 6 Don't Be Cruel 7 There's Always Me 8 Starting Today 9 In Your Arms 10 Loving You

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This collection highlights one of the greatest voices in popular music history at his most intimate and expressive.

Love Songs is the perfect collection for devoted Elvis fans and romantics alike, offering an irresistible selection of timeless recordings that continue to captivate audiences around the world more than half a century after they were first released.

11 Treat Me Nice 12 Anyway You Want Me (That's How I Will Be) 13 Stack On You 14 Playing For Keeps 15 Young Dreams 16 I'm Counting On You 17 Young And Beautiful 18 One Sided Love Affair 19 (Let Me Be Your) Teddy Bear 20 Wear My Ring Around Your Neck 21 Your Cheatin' Heart 22 I Want You, I Need You, I Love You 3 Disc three 1 Surrender 2 Tonight Is So Right For Love 3 A Big Hank O' Love 4 Return To Sender

5 What's She Really Like 6 It's A Sin 7 Gently 8 Pocketful Of Rainbows 9 I Gotta Know 10 Doin' The Best I Can 11 My Wish Come True 12 As Long As I Have You 13 Lover Doll 14 Just Tell Her Jim Said Hello 15 I Was The One 16 I Love You Because 17 I'm Gonna Sit Right Down And Cry 18 Suspicion 19 I Need You So 20 How Do You Think I Feel? 21 Too Much 22 I Need Your Love Tonight

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MUSIC2YOU

Buy now at music2you.co.uk/love

1 The world's new corporate tax haven is Malta, says The New York Times. Many US firms have established 'ghost offices' on the Med island in a bid to take advantage of its near-zero tax rate, which Malta has maintained after refusing to join an international crackdown on corporate tax dodging in 2023. Since then, the number of Maltese subsidiaries established by US firms – from Victoria's Secret to Pepsi – is up by nearly 70 per cent.

2 Norfolk's Grimston Cricket Club hosted the 2026 World Snail Racing Championships, says Rhi Storer in The New Statesman. Competitors brought their

gutsy gastropods ready to inch along the 33cm course towards a finish line smeared with cucumber. This year, the favourite, Beans, was up against Jude Shellingham, but it was Snailor Swift who took the gold after three minutes and 13 seconds.

3 Today, world-class wine is being made in a sunny corner of Sweden, says

The Economist. 'Yes, Sweden.' Warmer weather combined with Scandinavia's unusually long summer days mean wineries in the region of Skåne, sometimes called the 'Nordic Tuscany', are capable of producing the real thing.

4 By the start of this year, some 64 countries had already passed 'peak population', according to Our World in Data. Most are in Europe and East Asia,

which have experienced rapid reductions in fertility rates, but others such as Thailand, Uruguay and Cuba are now declining, too.

5 People are talking far less than they used to,

says Hatty Willmoth in Science Focus Magazine. American psychologists, who tracked the speech of thousands of people across Europe and the US over 15 years, found that the average number of words people said a day in 2019 was 11,900, down from 16,632 in 2005, a 28 per cent fall unsurprisingly linked to the rise of phones and social media.

Sign up for free to The Knowledge, a five-minute daily newsletter that makes news more manageable at theknowledge.com

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AUGUST 23 • 2026

THE HEALTH SECTION APPROVED BY DOCTORS

Health

WEIGH & HOLIDAYS

As patients on new weight-loss tablet tell of worrying side effects which many say are far worse than the jabs...

By Zoe Hardy

WHEN a box containing Sophie Ashton's first pack of Wegovy pills arrived on her doorstep, the 39-year-old felt a flicker of hope.

Finally, she thought, here was a way to control her weight – without the eye-water- ing cost of the injections she could no longer afford. Like thousands of others, she had been forced to stop taking weight-loss jab

TURN TO PAGE 42

Shopping addiction was first sign of my mum's dementia Health PAGE 46 & 47

How Botox could banish a gummy smile in 5 minutes Health PAGE 48

Our guru's 10 rock solid funds to hold for a decade... Wealth PAGES 50 & 51

Saddle up for a horseback safari in South Africa Holidays PAGES 60 & 61

REVEALED Why the Wegovy pill could leave you sick, exhausted – and depressed

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42 Health

FROM PAGE 41

Mounjaro last year after its manufacturer dramatically increased the price from around £100 a month to more than £200.

Over nine months on the drug, the mother of one had lost one-and-a-half stone. But once she stopped taking it, inevitably, her weight slowly began to creep back up.

So when a pill version of Wegovy became available – containing semaglutide, the same drug used in the injection – for just £60 for a month's supply, Sophie jumped at the chance to try it.

'I just wanted to feel better in my body,' says the content creator from Greater Manchester. 'I was in quite a bad place, having been through a difficult break-up. I knew something had to change.'

She had recently been prescribed sertraline, an antidepressant, which helped steady her racing thoughts and lift her low mood. Losing weight felt like the final piece of the puzzle – or so she thought.

On Mounjaro, Sophie had barely been troubled by common side effects such as nausea, constipation and bloating. She assumed switching to a daily pill would be similarly straightforward.

But just ten days into treatment, her mental health began to spiral. 'My mind was racing constantly,' she says. 'I was waking up in the middle of the night, I couldn't focus and just had this overwhelming feeling of anxiety.'

'The worst part was that even my three-year-old daughter could tell something was wrong. I became irritable and short with her. I just felt out of control.'

'I hate to think what could have happened if I stayed on the pill.'

When she reported her symptoms to the online firm that prescribed the drug, Sophie alleges she was advised to switch back to injections – after being told some patients may experience mood disturbances on the drug.

'In my mind it wasn't that simple – I don't want to take another weight-loss drug. I know it means I'm likely to carry on gaining weight, but I just don't want to take that risk again.'

HER story is concerning, yet she is far from the only patient to report troubling symptoms after taking the new pill. The daily Wegovy tablet was billed as a cheaper, easier alternative to jabs. But experts speaking to The Mall on Sunday have warned there may be a significant downside.

To get enough semaglutide into the bloodstream when swallowed rather injected, the pills contain a far higher dose. And experts say this could help explain a growing catalogue of reported side effects – including gastrointestinal problems, mood disturbances and, in some cases, potentially serious complications affecting the kidneys and pancreas.

It comes as UK health officials have linked 216 deaths to weight-loss drugs – although there is no way of knowing whether the medications caused the deaths, only that it was suspected.

'The pill may be easier to take [than jabs], but it does come with its own set of issues,' says Dr Madusha Peiris, a neurogastroenterologist at Queen Mary University of London.

For a start, taking it is more complicated than simply swallowing a tablet with breakfast. The pill must be taken on a completely empty stomach – meaning first thing in the morning, before breakfast – with only a small amount of water. Users must then wait at least 30 minutes before eating, drinking or taking any other oral medication.

But there is another striking difference

between the pill and the jab – the dose. While the standard maintenance dose of injected Wegovy is 2.4mg once a week, the pill contains 25mg of semaglutide – taken every day.

The reason for this huge difference is that semaglutide is poorly absorbed when swallowed. Much of the drug never makes it from the digestive system into the bloodstream, so more is needed to

achieve the desired effect. But experts say the large amount of semaglutide passing through the digestive system every day could explain why some patients report particularly troublesome gastrointestinal side effects.

On paper, the side-effect profile of the pill looks remarkably similar to that of the jabs. The most commonly reported issues include nausea, vomiting, diarrhoea, constipation, bloating, heartburn, fatigue and dizziness – many of the complaints familiar to users of injectable weight-loss drugs.

In clinical trials, around 70 per cent of people on Wegovy injections experienced these gastrointestinal side effects.

The figure for the pill was roughly the same. In late-stage trials, 74 per cent of those taking oral semaglutide reported at least one gastrointestinal problem, with nausea among the most common. Yet anecdotal reports from patients taking the pill paint a rather different picture.

Online forums and TikTok pages are awash with users complaining of relentless nausea, frequent vomiting and debilitating diarrhoea after starting the drug.

One Reddit user who switched from jabs to pills claimed 'the side effects, specifically nausea, have been off the charts'.

'First month on the starting dose completely fine, but after increasing the dose in the second month, I have had two instances of debilitating nausea and one of them I went to the ER because I thought I was dying,' they added. 'I never had side effects on the shot, so I am going back to the shot.'

Another user described the nausea as 'unbearable'. 'I was on the low-est-dose pill for a week and the nausea was debilitating. I could barely breathe and certainly

couldn't eat. It was awful,' they said. 'I stopped taking it today. I just can't do it. And I'm still feeling terrible.'

And unlike many jab users, who often find the side effects improve over time, some Wegovy pill users say it only gets worse. After increasing the dose from 1.5 to 4mg, one user wrote: 'Out of nowhere, I could no longer eat. I threw up non stop. Even an empty stomach made me sick.'

'I went to the doctor twice and despite improvements in my cholesterol levels, I was advised to come off the pill, and warned it could take a month to feel better.'

On TikTok, accounts are largely similar. In one video, which has racked up more than 107,000 views, a user named Meg talks of coming off the pill after experiencing

LOUISE STUCK WITH THE PILLS DESPITE HER DAILY NAUSEA

Louise Atkinson, 62, is a writer who lives in Oxfordshire with her husband, Jonathan. She lost 2st on Mounjaro (dropping from 13st to 11st over the last year and switched to the Wegovy pill in July.

AS SOON as the Wegovy pill came out I leapt at the chance to switch. I had spent ten months on an expensive weight-loss plateau, paying £170 a month for my Mounjaro jab but with my weight hanging stubbornly half a stone short of the 'healthy' BMI category I had always been aiming for.

The new Wegovy pills were temptingly cheaper and I liked the relative normality of a taking a daily pill. I started on a 4mg pill a week after my last Mounjaro jab and in the first week I was hit

by attacks of vicious heartburn if I went 'off message' and dared to drink wine or eat biscuits. On day four, a wave of nausea struck as I got out of bed, and continued each morning for the next two weeks. I decided to take this as a good sign that the pills were working.

But the morning sickness continued and after two weeks I was tempted to quit. I felt sick much of the time, sluggish and tired.

I ploughed on, however, and by week three all side effects had vanished and my weight had finally started shifting on the scales once more.

I'm very glad I stuck with the pills. I love the way they take away hunger for most of the day, but start to wear off so I feel peckish for a healthy evening meal.

My hope is that this daily pill will take the place of the blood pressure tablet and statin I no longer need now I've lost weight.

IT'S A FACI

Pharmacists across the world fill out one Wegovy pill prescription every five seconds, industry data shows.

Sophie couldn't sleep and felt overwhelmed by anxiety... she'll never take them again

LUXA - MORE

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Health 43

ORDEAL: Sophie Ashton says her mental health 'began to spiral' within just ten days of taking the pills

nausea for three weeks. 'I seriously don't know how people do this,' she says. 'I thought after I stopped taking it I would feel better, not worse. I am still throwing up, to the point I can't get through a short car journey.'

Others speak of headaches, migraines, severe bloating and fatigue. One Reddit user said the pill left them so exhausted they could hardly get through the day without a nap.

Another replied saying their 'never ending fatigue' couldn't be relieved by coffee or sleep, and was interfering with their work and exercise routine.

And according to Dr Peiris, these heightened adverse effects – along with mood disturbances such as those suffered by Sophie – may not be entirely surprising.

EXPERTS have long questioned whether delivering a large dose of semaglutide directly into the stomach every day could prove tougher on the body than a much smaller injection given just once a week.

Indeed, Dr Peiris says these concerns were being raised even while the oral version was undergoing clinical trials. 'With jabs, you get a steady release of the drug over seven days. With the pill, however, the drug is released relatively quickly once it dis-

solves in the stomach,' she says. Dr Peiris believes this could help explain why some patients experience particularly severe nausea on the pill. GLP-1 drugs such as Wegovy mimic a hormone naturally released by the gut after eating. One of its effects is to slow the rate at which the stomach empties, keeping food there for longer and helping us feel full.

This is part of what makes the drugs so effective for losing weight. But if digestion slows too much, it can leave patients feeling bloated and nauseous – and, in severe cases, cause vomiting.

Dr Peiris believes exposing the stomach to a large dose of semaglutide every day could amplify these effects in some patients.

And there may also be another consequence – one that could help explain the mood problems of patients such as Sophie. This involves serotonin, a chemical messenger best known for its role in regulating mood and anxiety.

Perhaps surprisingly, the vast majority of the body's serotonin is produced in the gut, which does not travel directly into the brain.

But the digestive system and brain are in constant communication via a complex network of nerves, hormones and chemical signals – known as the gut-brain axis. GLP-1 drugs are known to act on this, and early research suggests a large daily dose delivered by the pill may alter

serotonin signalling in the gut. Dr Peiris argues this could have downstream effects on the signals travelling between the digestive system and the brain, potentially affecting areas involved in mood and anxiety.

'When you have all this drug hitting the stomach at the same time, it can trigger a surge in serotonin activity,' she says. 'There will be a knock-on effect in the brain.'

Dr Peiris stresses this link is not yet proven, but she believes it could offer one explanation why some patients report anxiety, depression or other changes in mood while on the drugs.

With the injection, by contrast, semaglutide is absorbed gradually from beneath the skin into the bloodstream, rather than a large oral dose passing into the stomach every day.

Dr Peiris believes this difference in how the drug enters the body could explain why some patients find the pill particularly difficult to tolerate.

Part of the appeal of a daily tablet is that it could make GLP-1 drugs far more attractive to people put off by needles or the idea of a weekly injection. That,

doctors say – and no doubt the drug's maker hopes – could open this new wave of weight-loss treatments up to a much wider group of patients.

But Dr Peiris says it also makes proper medical oversight even more important. 'These are still medicines, they need to be prescribed by someone who knows the patient and is keeping an eye on them,' she says.

'Making them easier to take is good, but we don't want people to start thinking of them as just another weight-loss product.'

Currently, the daily tablet is available to patients with a BMI (body mass index) of 30 or above – the same threshold as the Wegovy injection.

Patients with a BMI of between 27 and 30 who also have a weight-related condition – such as heart disease, high blood pressure or sleep apnoea – may also be eligible. But it is not yet available on the NHS.

DR Peiris says the concern is that many people taking GLP-1 drugs are also being treated for other health problems and may be taking several different drugs.

'We still don't know everything about how these drugs interact,' she warns. 'That's why proper medical supervision matters.'

Like the injections, the pills also carry a risk of the rebound effect, whereby when treatment stops, the weight piles back on and its health benefits disappear.

'As such, we may end up with a generation of people who have to take these drugs for life, unless we can come up with an exit strategy,' says Dr Peiris.

'The biggest danger is not the drug itself, but poor information, rushed decisions and the assumption that the pill is just another online purchase.'

She says that 'in a perfect world we would have clear guidelines', but cautions that 'until then it's up to providers to give the best care possible'.

In response to the claims made by Dr Peiris and users of the pills, Wegovy manufacturer Novo Nordisk told The Mail on Sunday: 'We care deeply about patient safety.'

'Like all medicines, treatments used for chronic conditions can have side effects, and these can vary from person to person. That is why medicines are prescribed by healthcare professionals, who consider the potential benefits and risks for each individual.'

'Consistent with the available evidence, anxiety and mood disorders are not currently listed on the UK label of side effects for the Wegovy pill.'

The company added: 'We are committed to ensuring health-care professionals and patients have a detailed understanding of our medicine's safety profile.'

'Anyone with concerns about side effects should speak to their doctor, nurse or pharmacist, who can provide personalised medical advice and support.'

Berries and nuts in boost to heart health

By Will Stuart

EATING pomegranates and walnuts may reverse some of the life-threatening damage caused by catastrophic heart failure, a new study has found.

Research shows that consuming these foods causes the body to produce a natural compound called urolithin A, which has been linked to anti-ageing.

Now, UK scientists have found that animals given urolithin A saw their heart function boosted by as much as 80 per cent. The researchers, at King's College London, argue that urolithin A helps relaxes the heart muscles and also prevents scarring.

Experts say that the compound could eventually be turned into a treatment for an increasingly common form of heart failure.

They also add that the findings may also suggest that heart failure patients could benefit from a urolithin A-rich diet. Heart failure affects about 920,000 Britons. Around 50 per cent of sufferers have a form called heart failure with

'The next step will be to develop a drug'

preserved ejection fraction – where the organ becomes stiff, meaning it cannot fill with blood.

There are few effective treatments, and more than half of sufferers will die within five years of diagnosis.

However, the new study claims urolithin A could be the answer. It is produced when gut bacteria break down foods that contain polyphenols – a plant compound found in pomegranates, walnuts and berries.

King's College London researchers injected animals suffering from heart failure with urolithin A and found their heart function drastically improved.

The compound was then tested on human heart tissue in a laboratory, which the scientists say also had a positive effect. Experts say the next step will be to develop a drug that contains urolithin A, but added that patients should consider boosting their polyphenol intake.

Dr Joseph Burgoyne, senior author of the study, said: 'While there isn't enough evidence to suggest that people should eat pomegranates to treat heart failure, these findings raise the possibility that diets that enhance urolithin A production may help alleviate this condition.'

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V1

45

Dr Ellie

HER UNMISSABLE NEW COLUMN

THE GP WHO'S ALWAYS HERE FOR YOU

Midlife women – and GPs – must stop blaming every problem on perimenopause

IT'S 'just the perimenopause'. It's a refrain I've increasingly heard from friends and patients – and it's left me worried. Many might argue that more women talking about the perimenopause is a good thing. After all, our understanding of this pre-menopausal condition – where female sex hormone levels begin to fluctuate causing periods to become irregular – has come on in leaps and bounds in recent decades.

With that greater understanding has come greater awareness – and better treatment – for those experiencing uncomfortable perimenopause symptoms. However, there has been a dangerous downside – because as research into perimenopause has grown, so too has the list of possible symptoms.

At the same time, perimenopause has become a massive talking point on social media. Self-appointed perimenopause 'experts' have made whole careers from making TikTok videos and Instagram posts about the symptoms and treatments.

I'm beginning to worry we are getting to a point where our obsession with perimenopause means other medical conditions are being missed. These might be psychological problems like depression or anxiety – but they could be life-threatening too.

Take some of the women who recently told me about supposed perimenopause troubles. One told of new vaginal bleeding, another of pain while peeing and one had a sudden loss in weight.

All these symptoms could be due to the perimenopause – but they all could be signs of cancer too. Crucially, none of these women had been tested for the deadly disease – or anything else. Instead, they'd been handed hormone replacement therapy (HRT).

My fear is there are countless women who are being wrongly told they have perimenopause –

SUFFERING: But diagnosing the perimenopause may mean a deadly condition goes untreated

meaning they are not being treated for the true cause.

So, how can you know whether your symptoms are down to perimenopause? First, it's important to explain what is occurring in the body during perimenopause. The condition occurs when levels of female sex hormones oestrogen and progesterone begin to fluctuate. This usually happens when women are in their mid-to-late 40s. Perimenopause and menopause are often used interchangeably, but they are not the same. Menopause is when sex hormone levels drop permanently and periods

stop. While many still experience symptoms after the menopause, the most uncomfortable and distressing issues tend to occur during perimenopause as this is when sex hormones are most erratic.

The most common of these are hot flushes, sleep issues, mood swings and vaginal dryness.

But the list of perimenopause symptoms has grown. For my recent book, The Little Book of HRT, I tallied up an astonishing 45. The problem is when doctors assume any middle-aged woman who develops vague symptoms is experiencing perimenopause.

There are so many other explanations. Psychological issues like trouble sleeping or brain fog could be due to mental health problems.

Many stressful events happen around this age, such as children leaving home, parents dying or divorce. The best treatment might not be HRT but antidepressants.

Urinary issues – like incontinence and pain while peeing – are also considered common perimenopause symptoms. But these problems are often triggered by a urinary tract infection.

Also, I've seen women with rheumatoid arthritis who have gone untreated for far too long because they were initially told their pains were due to perimenopause.

Most worrying is when women are told their heavy period bleeding is down to perimenopause and receive no further examinations.

It's true this is one of the most common perimenopause symptoms but it also could be a sign of womb or ovarian cancer and any delay to diagnosis may be deadly.

The only way to know if heavy bleeding is down to cancer is by testing for it. The answer is not to give HRT and hope for the best.

If doctors assume every symptom that affects a woman in her 40s is down to the perimenopause, real issues are missed – and people get the wrong treatment.

Your questions answered

I AM a fit 65-year-old man and I've started having fainting spells. These occur every few weeks and come out of nowhere. What could be the problem?

ANYONE who regularly faints should see their GP immediately.

Fainting can be a sign of serious heart disease. The most common heart problem linked to this problem is atrial fibrillation – a heart rhythm disorder.

Crucially, there is a particular form called paroxysmal atrial fibrillation where the heart's rhythm is only occasionally disrupted – say, once or twice a month.

When this occurs, it can trigger fainting. However, the condition can be difficult to diagnose as a standard heart rhythm test might miss these episodes.

For this reason, patients with these symptoms need to wear a 72-hour monitor that can spot fleeting rhythm changes. This would be fitted

'It is crucial that heart issues are ruled out'

by a cardiologist in hospital. Another cause of fainting is low blood pressure – where the heart is not pushing the blood around the body hard enough.

This can trigger dizziness, blurry vision, fatigue and fainting. Low blood pressure is often caused by dehydration, certain medicines and even standing up too fast. A GP should be able to carry out a check.

Heart issues are not the only cause of fainting. Two vitamin deficiencies – iron and B12 – are linked to fainting. A lack of iron is often triggered by a lack of red meat, beans, lentils or dark green vegetables. In women, it can be triggered by heavy periods.

Meanwhile, B12 deficiency is often down to a vegan or vegetarian diet. This is because the vitamin is only found in animal products.

But before exploring these possibilities, it is crucial that heart issues are ruled out.

GP referral bounce-backs are making patients wait too long

I WAS shocked to read that a quarter of patient referrals to hospital are now being rejected and returned to GPs.

Many of these so-called bounce-backs are occurring – according to the healthcare magazine Pulse – because hospital doctors are asking for 'advice and guidance' from GPs before they will accept the referral.

Essentially, this means they have questions about the referrals.

However, some GPs say this is leading to long

delays for patients who are desperately in need of treatment.

I happen to agree. Often these referrals are for tests for life-threatening conditions, such as heart disease and cancer.

The NHS already takes too long to diagnose these conditions – we can't afford to make patients wait any longer.

Have you recently had a referral refused by your hospital? Did it affect your health? Write and let me know.

WRITE TO DR ELLIE

Do you have a question? Email DrEllie@mailonsunday.co.uk

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46 Health

IT WAS the near-constant droning of the washing machine that first tipped Emily Harris off to the fact that something was wrong with her mother.

Each time Emily, 31, went over to her mum Andrea's house in Droitwich, Worcestershire, the appliance was running – morning or night.

Even stranger, the drum would often contain just one item of clothing: a T-shirt, skirt or even a single sock.

Raising four children – all while working full-time as a nurse – Andrea, then 56, had always had to be a bit of an 'organisational freak,' says Emily.

'She was the first one up in the morning, getting everyone else sorted and starting on chores around the house, and the last one

in bed at night,' she says. 'But I remember thinking it was a bit weird that she would put just one item of clothing in the washing machine and turn it on every hour. I just dismissed it as just one of her obsessive habits.'

Today, however, Emily says she knows it was probably a sign of the disease that was gradually

By Meike Leonard

taking over her mother's brain: frontotemporal dementia (FTD).

Affecting roughly 30,000 people in the UK, FTD makes up just one in every 30 cases of dementia.

The condition encompasses a range of different progressive brain disorders that damage the front and temporal lobes – the regions of the brain responsible

for personality, behaviour and language. Unlike Alzheimer's disease – the most common form of dementia – FTD usually strikes people at a much younger age, typically between 45 and 64.

It also rarely affects memory in its early stages, with patients instead presenting with a much wider range of vague symptoms – from acting impulsively to suddenly developing a sweet tooth.

As a result, experts say the condition is more likely to go missed or be misdiagnosed by patients and loved ones alike.

'Frontotemporal dementia is a relatively rare condition,' says Dr Eef Hogervorst, professor of biological psychology at Loughborough University.

'Because it often begins in midlife, the symptoms can be downplayed and misattributed to a long list of stressors that emerge then, whether that's their career, ageing parents or changing hormones.'

'Highly educated and organised people are particularly good at compensating for the condition as well. It can be very easily missed.'

In Andrea's case, a growing list of strange symptoms, including an online shopping obsession, nonsensical text messages and a slew of car bumps and scratches were put down to stress and exhaustion, and later the menopause.

It wasn't until Emily took Andrea to a memory clinic for an assessment and brain MRI that she was diagnosed with FTD.

Emily says: 'There were so many red flags looking back – but when a parent is young and otherwise healthy, it can be so easy to push things aside.'

'I want to help others know what I do now – and encourage them to trust their instincts. Don't let things be dismissed as stress, menopause, exhaustion or even just an 'off day'.'

Like Alzheimer's, FTD is caused by damage from abnormal clumps of proteins building up inside brain cells, shrinking the affected regions. Experts say it's still unknown what triggers the condition, and there is no known cure.

But as many as one in three cases are thought to be genetic.

Patients can experience a wide range of symptoms, depending on which region of the brain is affected. For some, FTD can cause changes in personality, mood and personal conduct. Patients often display a lack of empathy, may seem socially disinhibited or suddenly develop compulsive habits.

Others may experience physical symptoms similar to Parkinson's disease – including stiffness, muscle spasms and balance issues.

And for some, the disease can cause the gradual loss of speech and language skills. Patients can have trouble understanding word meanings or recognising familiar objects.

Die Hard star Bruce Willis, 71, was diagnosed with FTD in 2023, one year after he announced he was suffering with aphasia – or difficulty speaking. Today, the father-of-five requires around-the-clock care.

UNABLE TO SPEAK: Actor Bruce Willis

and is reportedly not aware of his condition, despite being unable to speak.

His wife Emma Heming Willis, 47, says that she at first thought that changes in his speech patterns were related to a slight stutter he'd had in childhood.

In Andrea's case, the constant running of the washing machine was only the tip of the iceberg.

'For five or six years before her diagnosis, mum had been mixing up names or forgetting words,' says Emily, who works in recycling.

'But as my siblings and I were very close in age growing up, she'd always somewhat struggled with getting our names jumbled up.'

AFTER a while, Andrea wasn't just fumbling with words. Her texts became increasingly unintelligible – with words misspelled and seemingly typed at random.

'My aunt raised it with me one evening,' says Emily. 'My mum had sent her a bizarre text that didn't make any sense. She thought she must have been drinking, and wanted to know if she was OK.'

'I just assumed she had had a drink also, and reassured her that everything was fine.'

Then, Andrea began bumping and scratching her car with alarming frequency. And parcels started turning up at the house almost every day – Andrea having bought clothes for her grandchildren.

The issue was, says Emily, they were the wrong size, and often she'd find her mum had bought two or three of the same item. Eventually, Andrea's memory began to decline as well. 'I'd look at her phone and she'd have maybe 50-60 emails of password reset codes every day,' said Emily. 'It was difficult to know whether to laugh, worry or intervene, because it was a sign that her ability to make decisions and judge situations was changing.'

Eventually, the changes became impossible to ignore.

Emily brought Andrea to a private menopause clinic. Blood tests found low oestrogen and testosterone levels, and Andrea was started on hormone replacement therapy.

But when, by her three-month check-up, Andrea's memory had continued to deteriorate, despite the treatment, Emily pushed for a memory assessment.

The test, and a scan of Andrea's brain, showed advanced atrophy. More testing followed, and Andrea was diagnosed with dementia.

Emily says that amidst the devastation was a feeling of relief. 'I finally had an answer. For months I had known something wasn't right. I knew my mum better than anyone, and I watched her change in ways that couldn't be explained by stress, anxiety, or menopause. After months

---

Health 47

RED FLAGS: Emily Harris with her mother, Andrea

that symptoms progressively worsen, says Prof Cooper. While research shows that nearly two-thirds of women experience brain fog, memory lapses or concentration lapses during menopause, these symptoms tend to resolve themselves after a few years.

'There's a general downwards trend in degenerative conditions – things get gradually worse, rather than come and go,' says Prof Cooper.

'We all scrape the car or forget a name or do eccentric things once in a while. But it's when things are getting persistently worse that you need to worry – and when they start to effect daily life and the ability to function.'

CHARITIES say more needs to be done to improve diagnosis of all forms of dementia – currently Britain's biggest killer, claiming more than 76,000 lives a year.

The Daily Mail launched its Defeating Dementia campaign in partnership with Alzheimer's Society to raise awareness of the disease, in an effort to increase early diagnosis, boost research and improve care.

If you are concerned that a family member or friend is exhibiting the signs of FTD, Alzheimer's Society senior knowledge officer Simon Wheeler says there are ways to go about broaching the topic sensitively.

'In general, it's best not to tell someone out of the blue that they might have dementia. It's unlikely to be helpful in persuading them to get help,' he says.

'It's often better to talk about the difficulties they are having in their everyday life, rather than focusing specifically on symptoms or diagnoses.'

'Likewise, it can be helpful to mention that GPs can often treat problems with memory and thinking if they're caused by common health conditions such as thyroid problems, infections, depression and lack of sleep. This could be more helpful than leaping straight in and talking about dementia.'

Emily says she hopes raising awareness around the symptoms and signs of FTD will help others receive the correct diagnosis.

She says: 'Before FTD, Mum was the glue that held our family together. She was one of the kindest people you could ever meet and would do anything for anyone.'

'Before her diagnosis, I never imagined dementia could happen at 56. But I trusted my instincts. If you feel that something has changed in someone you love, keep asking questions and keep pushing for answers.'

We joked about Mum's addiction to online shopping and odd texts... but it turned out to be the first sign of her dementia

of uncertainty, second-guessing myself, and desperately searching for answers, I finally knew what we were facing.'

Patients' younger age and the broad range of symptoms mean that FTD takes the longest time to diagnose – averaging 4.2 years.

Alzheimer's disease, in comparison, is usually diagnosed in an average of 3.6 years.

Studies suggest this may be because early behavioural or language changes caused by FTD are often mistaken for psychiatric issues or normal stress.

Midlife social and hormonal changes are also common scape-

goats for changes in behaviour, says Prof Hogervorst. The average age of diagnosis for women is 58. At this age, changes in mood can mirror those that happen to many women during menopause.

'Many women feel burned out, aren't sleeping well, and experience mood swings,' she says.

And it's not just women who risk having their symptoms dismissed.

'It's a stereotype that men of that age have midlife crises – buying a sports car, or having an affair,' says Prof Hogervorst. 'In the majority of cases, this won't be anything to do with dementia.'

'But in the small number of cases

where changes are due to FTD, this can be part of why they often go missed for a while.'

Experts say getting the correct diagnosis can provide immense relief for families and caregivers.

'There is no curative treatment, and no medications for FTD,' says Dr Claudia Cooper, dementia specialist and professor of psychological medicine at Queen Mary University of London.

'But what we do know is that just knowing the diagnosis can make a major difference for carers.'

'If you know what's actually happening, families can sit down and make decisions about the future,

sort out important goals, and start to properly plan for things.'

'There are also ways to help patients – through cognitive stimulation groups or medications. And the earlier you get a diagnosis, the more able the patient is to plan for their future.'

There are some key ways to differentiate FTD from other, less serious issues, say experts. 'People with FTD don't usually recognise that anything is going on,' says Prof Hogervorst. 'Women experiencing brain fog or mood swings caused by menopause, on the other hand, are well aware.'

Likewise, a key signal of FTD is

JIM FRED

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48 Health

A few jabs of Botox in the lips can banish a gummy smile in just five minutes

UNTIL recently, Sally White spent her life trying her hardest not to smile. Every time she grinned or laughed, she became painfully aware of the facial feature she felt marked her out from other people: her upper lip rising far too high and making her gums seem glaringly obvious.

Parties, social gatherings and family get-togethers were a nightmare for her – as someone was bound to produce a camera and start taking photos.

The 53-year-old office manager, from Hertfordshire, says: 'I absolutely hated having my picture taken or seeing photos of myself – I felt uncomfortable and self-conscious because of my horrible, gummy smile. If I started smiling or laughing in public, I would either cover my mouth – or else force myself to stop.'

Two years ago, however, after a chance conversation, Sally made a life-changing discovery that finally allowed her to beam happily from ear to ear – namely that the gummy smile which had plagued her was caused by a recognised medical condition.

And better still, there was a simple treatment which involved – to her surprise – a course of anti-wrinkle injections.

She says: 'It was a game-changer. It wasn't something I'd ever heard of. I only wish I'd found out about it earlier.'

A gummy smile is known formally as 'excessive gingival display'. Although no precise clinical criteria have been defined, a smile exposing more than three or four millimetres of gum above the top teeth is considered disproportionate.

Overall, an estimated 14 per cent of women and seven per cent of men in the UK are affected.

The most common cause is

By Andy Beaven and Ciaran Foreman

over-activity in a muscle with the longest name of any in the human body – the 'levator labii superioris alaeque nasi', also known as the LLSAN.

Running downwards from the upper part of the jaw-bone beside the nose, it lifts the upper lip, flares the nostrils and helps form facial expressions such as a smile or snarl.

In many people with a this sort of smile, the muscle is too strong and pulls too hard, meaning it lifts the top lip higher than normal and reveals too much of the gum.

Dr Kate Carr is a former GP who runs Dr Kate Aesthetics in north London, one of many private clinics around the country offering treatment.

She said: 'A significant number of people have excess gum tissue on show and feel very self-conscious about it.'

'Often it has been a problem from a young age. Kids can be cruel – and if someone has been bullied or called names because of their smile, it can have a really

profound and lasting impact. Some patients could never relax when smiling and even altered the way they smiled in public or when having a photo taken.'

Treatment involves injecting a small dose of botulinum toxin, which is best known by the brand name Botox.

The chemical is a powerful natural poison widely used in medicine and the beauty industry. By blocking signals between nerves and muscles, it causes temporary muscle relaxation or weakness.

As a cosmetic treatment, it can be injected into the face to smooth out wrinkles, frown lines and crow's feet.

Doctors also use it for conditions including chronic migraines, overactive bladder, and severe underarm sweating.

For a gummy smile, the botulinum toxin is injected into the LLSAN, to relax the muscle so it exposes less gum when smiling.

Dr Carr says: 'It doesn't paralyse the muscle, just weakens it slightly, so when someone smiles the lip isn't pulled as strongly and doesn't lift as much.'

It's important, she explains, to start with a tiny dose.

'It's a fine balance,' she says. 'A larger dose might last longer. But

GAME-CHANGER: Sally White is so much more confident now

if you overdo it, the lip drops too far. Instead of showing too much gum when they smiled, they would end up not showing enough of their teeth. It's better erring on the

side of caution.' The effects of the botulinum are not immediate but increase gradually over three weeks, before starting to wear off again after six to eight weeks.

As a result, the treatment – which costs around £180 each time – typically needs to be repeated every three to four months.

DR Carr says: 'For many people with a gummy smile, this treatment works really well and gives them a smile they feel happy and confident with.'

'It's quick and relatively straightforward but can be life-changing. The ability to just smile in a natural way can really improve a patient's confidence. Yet many people with a gummy smile aren't aware it can be treated.'

Sally only found out about the botulinum injections while chatting with her dentist. 'When Botox first came out, you'd see celebrities with stiff-looking faces,' says Sally. 'I swore I'd never touch it – that I'd just grow old gracefully.'

'But then I discovered that just a tiny bit could completely change the way I feel.'

Although it doesn't interfere with eating, drinking or talking, the muscle-weakening effect of the botulinum means that she cannot tighten her lips like she used to when applying lip balm or lip-stick.

However, every morning, while putting on her makeup, she's delighted to check her smile in front of the mirror.

Sally adds: 'I can tell when it's time to book the next appointment. I'm just gutted it took me so long to find out about the treatment. I wouldn't ever want to be without it. It's fantastic to finally be able to smile again.'

WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE...

...between gastritis and gastroenteritis

GASTRITIS is inflammation of the stomach lining, caused by an infection (usually from a bacteria called H. pylori), prolonged use of anti-inflammatory painkillers, heavy drinking or chronic stress.

Sufferers usually experience a burning stomach pain, along with bloating and nausea that tends to worsen after meals. Treatment generally involves removing the underlying trigger, such as

stress, and taking medication to reduce stomach acid. Gastroenteritis affects the stomach and intestines and is usually caused by a virus such as norovirus. It brings on watery diarrhoea, stomach cramps and vomiting. Symptoms usually clear up within a few days. Treatment is largely a matter of staying hydrated and replacing lost fluids and salts.

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50

Wealth & Personal Finance

Our guru's

By Jeff Prestridge

MONEY EDITOR AT LARGE

OVER the past 40 years, I've learnt a lot about investing effectively. Some of the lessons have been financially painful ones – for example, selling at a loss investments I should never have bought in the first place.

However, I believe they have made me a better, shrewder investor. You learn from your mistakes.

Despite hitting my 'senior' years and having less time on my side (if you know what I mean), I'm now a more patient investor than I have ever been – and less inclined to be 'greedy': that is, seek quick profits or jump on the back of investment fads just as they are about to implode.

Back in the early 1990s, I won a journalism award and was given a prize that had to be invested in a Barclays investment fund.

Being young and brash – and annoyingly arrogant – I put the money in a high-risk Japanese warrants fund. I lost the lot – a salutary lesson.

Some may now accuse me of being a boring investor, but I'm happy to wear that badge.

I'm a 'Steady Eddie', content to accumulate investment gains from long-term investments (funds, not shares) that in the main deliver me a tidy mix of dividend income (dividend growth if I can find it) and capital return.

I'm not interested in buying individual shares such as the Nvidias and Metas of this world (easily bought through an investing platform) although I'm happy to have exposure to them via a diversified investment fund.

Provided the returns I earn from my investments are in excess of those that I can earn from cash, I'm a happy bunny – although I do have cash I's that I use either for financial emergencies or to fund the stream of holidays booked by my travel-mad partner, Leonie.

Not being a trader, I like to hold at the core of my investment portfolio investment funds and stock market-listed investment trusts that I don't have to micro-manage.

In other words, I can leave them alone to grow in value rather than constantly chop and change them. It's a marriage made in heaven.

NEARLY all of these investments are held in a tax-friendly wrapper such as a stocks and shares Isa or a self-invested personal pension.

And while I could take the income from them to help fund my day-to-day living, I prefer to reinvest the divis in yet more shares.

In my eyes, the compounding of dividend income is one of the wonders of the investment world. I urge you to embrace it.

So which funds out there are the ones you can trust to be robust enough to form the core of your investment wealth strategy for the next decade and beyond?

There are plenty, and you can find them by looking at the

best fund lists provided by investing platforms such as AJ Bell, Hargreaves Lansdown and Interactive Investor.

You can also use some splendid comparative fund tools provided by the likes of the Association of Investment Companies and Trustnet to dig them out.

Key to identifying them is to look out for certain characteristics.

These include: a steady investment record, especially over the past five and ten years; low ongoing annual charges (ideally closer to 0.5 per cent than 1 per cent); a fund that is in growth mode in terms of assets under its

wing (usually a reflection of good performance and strong investor demand); an income bent; and an investment team with a clear strategy as to how to extract returns from stock markets.

Here are my suggestions: my acclaimed portfolio 'Steady Eddies'.

They are funds that I think are ideal bolthole investments that could act as the engine room of your investment portfolio for the foreseeable future.

Note that I say 'could' as opposed to 'will' because sometimes the very best looking funds do go off the rails (remember Woodford

Equity Income, which imploded in spectacular fashion?).

It is up to you whether you want to complement some of these investment heavyweights with supporting 'satellite' investment funds that give you exposure to specific markets or investment themes you particularly like.

A core and satellite approach to investing makes great sense.

I have split my Steady Eddies into two camps: global and UK.

Given my liking for investment funds run by managers rather than robots, you may be somewhat surprised by a couple of my choices.

MY TOP PICK OF GLOBAL FUNDS

GLOBAL investment funds should lie at the heart of any investment portfolio.

Although UK investors should always have a bias to the home stock market, especially given its assortment of dividend-friendly companies (the banks, energy companies and tobacco stocks), the London Stock Exchange is increasingly overshadowed by rival markets in the US and across the length and breadth of Asia.

Geographic diversification is one

10

rock solid funds to hold for a decade and beyond...

It's the ultimate portfolio if you don't want the hassle of chopping and changing your investments

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51

EDITOR: Rachel Rickard Straus money@mailonsunday.co.uk

MONEY TITLE OF THE YEAR

of the foundation stones of good portfolio management and you can get this via a global investment fund or investment trust.

I've gone for seven – although there are plenty of rival funds that have great merit.

The first choice is HSBC FTSE ALL-WORLD INDEX, which, by tracking the performance of the FTSE All-World Index, is a proxy for the performance of global stock markets.

This £7.3 billion fund ticks all the boxes: low annual charges (0.13 per cent), geographic diversification with the biggest slug of assets

in the US (60 per cent), and exposure to all of the world's biggest listed stocks (the likes of magnificent seven stocks Alphabet, Amazon, Apple, Meta, Microsoft, Nvidia and Tesla).

Over the past five discrete one-year investment periods, it has registered respective returns (rounded to the nearest 1 per cent) of 22 (year to August 20 this year), 12, 23, -3 and 7 per cent. Pretty respectable, equating to an overall five-year return of 74 per cent,

according to Trustnet. Although its focus on big US technology stocks means the dividend is low at 1.3 per cent, it will ensure you don't miss out on the tech story – buoyed by the boom in artificial intelligence (AI).

Of course, it doesn't provide you with protection from any stiff correction in global stock markets that could result from the bursting of the AI bubble (some commentators have been predicting the pricing of this bubble for the past year). But then no equity fund will do that for you. Corrections are part and parcel of investing and

you have to have the conviction (and courage) to keep investing when share prices are falling. Building investment wealth is a long-term project and rewards the patient investor.

Invest regularly if you're worried about market timing. But I'd be surprised if over the next decade, this fund hadn't enhanced your wealth.

To complement this index tracker, I would hold a number of long-established global funds run by respected investment teams.

I've chosen six, which fall into two categories.

The first category includes global investment trust titans ALLIANCE WITAN, BANKERS and F&C.

All three are big funds – ranging from £1.4 billion (Bankers) to £6.5 billion (F&C) – and have annual dividend growth records going back at least 55 years.

The three of them pay quarterly dividends.

Ongoing annual charges are also competitive with the highest (Bankers) still representing good investment value for money at 0.51 per cent.

The funds have solid five-year and ten-year investment record: key to qualifying as a 'core' investment. Over five years, the respective total returns for Alliance Witan, Bankers and F&C are 53, 44 and 67 per cent. Over the past decade, the equivalent figures are 189, 188 and 216 per cent.

All are managed slightly differently. Alliance Witan uses a collection of top fund managers from across the world to manage parcels of the trust's assets.

The result is a fund that in terms of geographic exposure is wildly different to that of HSBC FTSE All-World Index (in other words, complementary rather than a duplicate).

In the case of Bankers, part of investment house Janus Henderson (JH), the managers parcel out the fund's assets to investment teams at JH to run.

At F&C, part of global investment house Columbia Threadneedle, a similar strategy is adopted. F&C is the oldest investment trust in the country.

One of its defining characteristics is an 11 per cent exposure to private equity, which is both risky and potentially rewarding (in other words, hold on to your hat).

In my second category are investment funds ARTEMIS GLOBAL INCOME, M&G GLOBAL DIVIDEND and TEMPLETON EMERGING MARKETS.

The Artemis and M&G funds have an income bent – especially the M&G fund – and have exceptional fund managers at the helm (respectively Jacob de Tusch-Lec and Stuart Rhodes).

Over the past ten years, the funds have generated total returns of 263 and 183 per cent respectively. To put these numbers into perspective, the average global equity income fund has returned 141 per cent.

Both portfolios provide exposure to global stocks outside the magnificent seven (only Microsoft appears in the top ten holdings of the M&G fund). Respective total

annual charges are 0.83 and 0.66 per cent (higher than our four previously mentioned global Steady Eddies). Income, hovering just above 2 per cent a year, is paid quarterly by M&G Global Dividend and semi-annually in the case of Artemis Global Income.

Templeton Emerging Markets is my slightly off-beam final global fund choice.

I see it as a complement to my other Steady Eddies as a result of a portfolio skewed towards Asian markets (South Korea, Taiwan and China) and some of the world's most successful and relevant companies: the likes of computer chip maker TSMC and consumer electronics giant Samsung Electronics (maker of the Galaxy smartphone).

Over the past ten years, it has delivered total returns of 246 per cent. Total annual charges sneak under the 1 per cent bar (any higher and I would have excluded it) and its last annual dividend was worth 3.25p a share to investors. Its current share price is just under £3.2b.

MY TOP PICK OF UK FUNDS

MY FINAL three Steady Eddies are funds that trawl the UK stock market for a mix of income and capital return.

As with my global picks, I've included an index-tracking fund – HSBC FTSE 100 INDEX – which tracks the performance of the FTSE 100: a great source of dividend income for investors and overall investment return.

Total annual charges are 0.1 per cent and, over the past ten years, the HSBC fund has generated total returns of 122 per cent.

My two other UK funds are actively managed: investment trust ABERDEEN EQUITY INCOME and JO HAMBRO UK EQUITY INCOME.

The Aberdeen fund, listed on the UK stock market, has 25 years of annual dividend growth under its belt. It recently absorbed the assets of Aberdeen trust Shires and is in growth mode. Its stand-out characteristic is a healthy dividend (close to 5 per cent) with payments made quarterly. It also gives investors exposure to stocks outside the FTSE 100. Total annual charges are 0.84 per cent.

JO Hambro UK Equity Income is a cracking fund run by a triumvirate of managers: Clive Beagles, James Lowen and Josh Herson.

Over the past ten years, it has generated an overall return of 146 per cent (against a peer group average of 95 per cent).

Dividends are paid quarterly – providing an annual income to investors of about 4.7 per cent – and total annual charges are reasonable at 0.73 per cent.

The £2 billion fund is one of the best UK equity income funds around – and Beagles is one of the most enthusiastic and passionate UK investors I have ever interviewed. I hope my Steady Eddies pique your interest. If you have some of your own Steady Eddies, do let me know: Jeff.prestridge@mailonsunday.co.uk

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52

Jeff Prestridge

Jiff.prestridge@mailonunday.co.uk MONEY EDITOR AT LARGE

FOR the past year, financial experts have warned of a stock market crash triggered by the popping of the Artificial Intelligence (AI) bubble.

So far, markets have defied them and continued their journey upwards – the FTSE100 is up 9 per cent this year while the S&P 500 Index in the United States has moved ahead by 12 per cent.

But at some point, the commentators, fund managers and economists who believe a significant market correction is coming will be proved right.

It will be led by sharp falls in the share prices of the big-tech US companies (Nvidia's share price is

'If you are looking long term, stay invested'

up a staggering 940 per cent over the past five years), but no stocks or markets will escape. They will all be dragged down.

As many of you who were caught out by the bursting of the dotcom bubble in early 2000 will remember all too well, stock market bubbles always pop.

The difficult part is predicting when (few investors get market timing right) and what to do.

For example, whether to bite your lip and stay invested; sell and move your money into cash; or spend time ensuring your portfolio is sufficiently diversified to mitigate the impact of any significant market correction on your long term investment goals.

There are pluses and minuses with all three strategies and opinion is divided. For example, a former hedge fund manager told my City colleague Alex Brummer a few days ago that the only safe

These are the steps I'm taking in case alarming prophecies of a stock market crash come true

place right now for investors is government bonds. He believes a stock market crash is imminent. Sell is his implied advice.

It's a view you must consider seriously – and government bonds do look attractive as yields continue to rise, not only in the UK but across the world.

But if you've taken time to read today's article on investment funds for the next decade (see page 50-51), you will realise I sit in a different camp.

Provided your investment hori-

zons are long rather than short-term, and you're 100 per cent comfortable watching your investments fall in value, you should stay invested. It's a view I've held since I became a money journalist 40 years ago. Am I stuck in the mould? Maybe, but it has been a sound strategy.

Yet this doesn't mean you should sit on your hands. Far from it. Now is the time to ensure your portfolio remains fit for purpose and has in-built resilience. Give it a make-over and, if necessary, make

changes. For a start, it's essential your portfolio is diversified, not just across stock markets and investment funds, but with exposure to other financial assets such as precious metals (gold and silver) and government bonds.

The boom in the price of many US tech shares over recent years has resulted in many investors' portfolios becoming skewed towards the US stock market. Now is a good time to correct this.

So, if you hold any of the 'magnificent seven' stocks (Alphabet,

Amazon, Apple, Meta, Microsoft, Nvidia and Tesla), consider trimming them, especially if you sit on big paper gains.

Within an Isa or self-invested personal pension, you can do this without worrying about nasty capital gains tax. If you hold them outside of these tax-wrappers, bear in mind you only have a £3,000 nil-rate CGT allowance for this tax year, after which tax of either 18 (for basic rate taxpayers) or 24 per cent (higher and additional rate) will be applied to any surplus gain.

Some of your investment funds may also have a large slice of assets in either the 'magnificent seven' or US tech stocks generally. Look at the latest monthly fact-sheets to find out how much and if

'Gold and silver prices will move ahead'

you are uncomfortable with the level of exposure, take some gains. Income-orientated investment funds are a good diversifier.

Gold and silver should also be in your portfolio.

According to Ian Williams, who runs the Charteris Gold and Precious Metals (CG&PM) fund, gold and silver prices should move ahead, fuelled respectively by geopolitical uncertainty and electrification (silver is widely used in solar panels and electric cars).

The purest way to get exposure to rising precious metal prices is via a fund whose performance tracks either the gold or silver price: run by the likes of iShares and Invesco.

As for bonds, investing platforms have plenty of information on the best funds – and the most popular UK gilts.

I will review my Isa portfolio this weekend. I urge you to do the same.

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V1

Wealth & Personal Finance 53

By Lucy Evans

FOR most of us, reaching billionaire status feels like a pipe dream reserved for the Elon Musk and Jeff Bezoss of the world. But one man passionately believes anyone can be one.

The only catch is that you may not be around to reap the rewards – but your children and grandchildren will. Tim Taubman – a former banker – believes that, with the right strategy, anyone can accrue an incredible level of wealth for the next generation. Investing as little as £50 a month can make your grandchildren billionaires, he claims.

Since the beginning of 2024, he's been sharing his research portfolio on his blog, The Crazy Plan. The idea came a few years ago when he started to plan ahead for his family's finances and consider the legacy he wants to leave behind. He decided to track how quickly two investment plans could reach $1 billion (£733 million).

He says his fictional portfolio has amassed £22,929 in the past two years and expects to hit the billion mark in as little as 76 years and five months. Aged 55, Tim would be 131 years old when he became a billionaire, if he followed the plan himself.

Wealth & Personal Finance put his theory under the microscope.

ROAD TO A BILLION

TIM has been a private investor since 2010 and believes in the power of long-term investing. 'Having that headline figure makes people realise that opportunity is there. It's about setting yourself and your family up for future generations,' he says.

Even if you don't manage to build a billion pot and can't quite face handing over all of your money to the next generation, you can still amass millions with relatively modest amounts of savings. 'I want people to realise they can set out on a journey to wealth – for some that might be building a £5,000 pot, for others it might turn into millions.'

Tim has devised two different strategies to reach a billion goal, which he aptly calls 'Crazy Plans' – the lump sum plan and the monthly plan. The lump sum option involves investing £10,000 on day one and letting it grow. The monthly plan is for those who do not have a lump sum but can make regular savings of £50 a month over a ten-year period. The aim for both is simple – get to a billion.

To do this he 'invests' the fictional money into his Crazy Fund, a unit fund currently consisting of ten different investments.

HOW LONG WILL IT TAKE TO GET THERE?

AT the beginning of his experiment, calculations showed the lump sum plan would take 79 years and 11 months to hit the billion mark. The monthly investment plan would take 89 years and three months. This means that someone who starts aged 25 today could reach a billion by 104 (if they live that long).

But you would need to make a large return to hit this target. Tim's calculations assume an annualised return of 15 per cent – highly ambitious. You would need to be aggressive in your investing strategy and have a high tolerance for risk to hit this target.

By comparison, the FTSE World

The man who says he knows how to make your grandchildren billionaires

...and you need to invest only £50 a month under his masterplan!

global stocks to be around five per cent a year over that period.

If you secured a ten per cent average annualised return, your £10,000 would instead reach £21.1 million after 80 years under Tim's plan. When we put Tim's theory to Charlotte Kennedy, a financial planner at Rathbones, she said: 'Compound growth is incredibly powerful over very long periods, and, given enough time, even relatively modest sums can grow into very large amounts.'

However, she cautioned that the target of 15 per cent return was high for most investors and may be hard to achieve. She said: 'While some have achieved returns at this level over long periods, it is significantly higher than those that many investors would expect.'

REALISTIC TARGET?

IF your priority is building wealth for later life, instead of leaving masses of money to your grandchildren, the timescales are much more appealing.

Take a 25-year-old who begins to follow the monthly plan. By age 65 they'll have built a $1.1 million (£806,000) pot, assuming this level

of return. If they have £10,000 to invest now, then they'll have $3.8 million (£2.79 million) for their retirement, in addition to any pension savings.

Tim, inset right, spends his days investing and fine-tuning his portfolio, and says it has outpaced his ambitious 15 per cent compounding return target. The returns have been an impressive 27 per cent each year.

He's now expecting to hit the billion mark in another 76 years and one month on the lump sum plan while for the monthly plan it's 86 years and one month. This also factors in fees. Tim's portfolio contains a mixture of investment trusts and ETFs (exchange-traded funds) which track the performance of a specific stock market. He was once a big fan of investing in single stocks, but has switched to funds in the past years as stock picking is 'really hard work' and requires a lot of research.

Picking winning stocks can be risky as just one poor performer can dent your overall returns.

The portfolio is focused on growth, rather than income, as there is a large exposure to US and technology stocks. Growth focused funds target companies expected to grow faster than the rest of the market, although this can come with higher volatility.

His investments include some of the most popular funds among UK investors, holding Allianz Technology and Scottish Mortgage. Scot-

tish Mortgage has returned 135.1 per cent over the past three years, and its top holdings include Space X and Tik-Tok owner ByteDance. Allianz Technology has returned an astonishing 183.9 per cent in three years with holdings including chipmaker Nvidia. He

admits his portfolio is tech heavy and says that could change over time if another sector began to perform consistently well.

But he says investors should look at technology returns over a long period of time. 'Look at the Polar Capital Technology trust. You can go back 30 years and see the returns. People tend to look too short term when they look at technology.'

COULD YOU DO IT?

IN theory, if you achieve 15 per cent return each year and never touch the money, you can build large reserves of wealth and reach the billion mark.

But, in reality, investors who don't have the expertise may struggle to meet this level of return year in, year out.

You also need to be comfortable never spending that money. Instead, your children and grandchildren will get to enjoy the spoils. You could focus on growing your pot to several million and access it early. But you'll still need to leave it alone for several decades if you want it to grow substantially.

Billionaires

Index has returned 9.64 per cent in annualised return over the past 22 years. If we take an even longer term view, given how long the money will need to remain invested, Swiss bank UBS' annual Global Investment Returns Yearbook, which analyses market data going back to 1900, estimates average annual real returns from

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54 Wealth & Personal Finance

COUPLES are increasingly choosing to build lifelong partnerships, buy homes together – and even raise families – without ever tying the knot. Almost 6.5million people in the UK cohabit, and 51 per cent of children are born out of wedlock, official data shows.

While there may not be any immediate tangible benefits to being wed, few realise just how many financial protections it offers, and just how precarious their position is if they don't tie the knot.

Many cohabiting couples wrongly believe they form a common-law marriage when they live together, but this isn't the case.

So it can come as a shock when, after decades of living together, they are left with little to no financial protection when the relation-

ship ends. In the worst cases, it means you could be booted out of your family home or find yourself with no savings for retirement.

Choosing not to marry can also have drastic consequences when it comes to inheriting wealth from your partner.

Last week, comedian Ricky Gervais revealed that he and his

partner, Jane Fallon, would marry after 44 years together.

The reason? To avoid a large inheritance tax bill.

The Government has promised to reform the law relating to cohabitation in England and Wales, and until nine days ago it was consulting the public and legal experts. But none of the pro-

posed changes will be enough to stop your money falling into the wrong hands, or the taxman's pocket, experts reveal.

So what rights do you have? How can you protect yourself if you are cohabiting with your partner? And what can you do to avoid a bumper inheritance tax bill? Wealth & Personal Finance asks the experts.

UNMARRIED COUPLES RISK RUIN

COUPLES who cohabit are running risks that could 'seriously damage their finances', says Sarah Coles, head of personal finance at the investment platform AJ Bell.

If you split up or one of you dies, unmarried partners have no automatic legal, financial, or inheritance rights. And it doesn't matter how long you've been together.

In cases seen by The Mail on Sunday, mothers have been forced out of their homes, older surviving partners have been left penniless and family inheritances have been snatched away.

You may have some rights where property is concerned, but it all depends on who owns it and how they own it. Many find themselves walking away with nothing at all.

You won't be able to claim against your ex-partner's pension, either, if you split up, which could leave you with little savings for retirement.

Conversely, spouses have three options when splitting pensions – share them on a clean-break basis, one partner can earmark some of the income to be paid out after retirement or they can offset their value against other assets.

Coles adds: 'If unmarried partners die without a will, assets are split according to intestacy rules. These give nothing to unmarried partners at all.'

If the home is in one person's name because they either already owned it when the relationship started or have since bought it with their own money, this can cause the biggest heartbreak.

This is because the new legal owner – a child of the deceased, for example – can kick out their parent's partner from the family home.

You do have the legal right to claim against your partner's estate if you've been cohabiting for more than two years. However, this could be protracted, stressful and expensive, particularly if the deceased had blood relatives who could otherwise inherit.

There's a host of other little-known issues for unwed couples, including no right to spousal maintenance and fewer claims to bereavement benefits.

In Scotland, unmarried couples have rights to make a claim after a split to address financial imbalance.

NEW PROTECTIONS

IN June, the Government announced plans to update the law around cohabitation, explaining that it 'hasn't kept pace with the realities of modern families'.

Ministers have promised a safety net for couples who split up or for those who survive their partner.

Reforms will apply to couples who have lived together for at least three years, or those who live together and have children.

The proposed plans include giving cohabiting couples the same intestacy rights as spouses for when a partner dies without leaving a will.

When it comes to a split, partners could have a claim on the other's assets. A key change would be to give those who are separating access to a share in the sale of a home owned in the other's name.

Cohabiting couples will still have a different set of rights from married couples, however, 'helping to preserve the sanctity of marriage'.

One key difference is that unlike divorce, in which assets tend to be split equally, it will initially be assumed that each person keeps what they legally own.

Courts will only intervene to meet an individual's needs, such as a mother who gave up her career to look after children. She may own little in her own name, but a court would ensure her financial needs were met in a separation.

DEATH-DUTY STING

WHILE unmarried couples will soon have greater rights, they still face one glaring danger – a hefty bill for inheritance tax (IHT).

Spouses benefit from generous inheritance tax allowances. They can pass wealth to each other on death completely free of death duties. They can also pass on any unused allowances between them.

Everyone gets a £325,000 tax-free allowance on their estate when they die, called the nil-rate band. And those passing a home to a direct descendant such as a child or grandchild get an additional £175,000. Anything over this is taxed at 40 per cent. So, in theory, a widow could pass on £1million of wealth tax free.

That is not the case for unmarried couples, who don't receive these tax benefits. They get no extra allowances and there are no plans to change this. For Gervais, it means that if he and Fallon didn't marry and he left his £141million fortune to her, she would face an inheritance tax bill of £56.3million.

Once wed, however, she won't pay a penny.

You don't need to be a multi-millionaire like Gervais to be caught in the tax net. Take a couple who have cohabited for 20 years. If one partner, let's call him Andrew, died in June 2027 and left half of the house worth £350,000 to his partner, whom we'll call Sarah, as well as his £500,000 pension, then she would have to pay £140,000 in tax. Unused pension pots are exempt from IHT but will be dragged into the

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Wealth & Personal Finance 55

NO LAUGHING MATTER: Ricky Gervais wants to protect Jane Fallon from a big inheritance tax bill

agreement. These are legally binding documents that set out who owns what, who gets joint assets in the event of a split, and how property will be divided. Both parties should have legal advice, as the court will give it more weight.

You can create such contracts with a solicitor or buy them at a stationery shop. But a court can disregard a cohabitation agreement if it isn't fair or reasonable.

It's not known how agreements signed before the new reforms come into place will work.

Couples should at least write out their intent on a piece of paper and sign this in front of a witness, says divorce lawyer Vanessa Lloyd Platt. This can be helpful during difficult separations.

Nominate pension beneficiaries

SHOULD you want your partner to receive your unused pension savings when you die, nominate them as a beneficiary.

The final decision of who gets the savings is made by the trustees of the scheme, but an 'expression of wishes' form can guide them.

If you have a public-sector pension then your partner may be able to claim a survivor's pension in some cases – but you must have lived together for two years and prove that you were both financially interdependent.

Minimise your IHT bill

IF YOU and your partner don't fancy marrying, you'll need to consider how to minimise inheritance tax. On top of the £325,000 nil-rate band, you can give your partner money or assets before you die to cut their tax liability.

Gifts you make more than seven years before you die fall outside your estate, but you can also give away £3,000 a year free of tax.

One of the most generous IHT allowances is the so-called 'gifts out of normal expenditure'. This allows you to give away as much money as you like providing the sums are regular and made out of surplus income.

Get married

TO dodge a big tax bill when you inherit a partner's wealth, tying the knot may be the only option.

But don't rush into marriage for tax reasons alone. Joe Cobb, head of private wealth at the legal firm JMW, warns: 'Being married comes with other responsibilities and consequences, like potentially getting divorced. A divorce tax at 50 per cent – the amount you'd give up in a split – is worse than inheritance tax at 40 per cent.'

Opt out of the reforms

IF YOU don't want your partnership to be more like a marriage or you believe the new rules pose a risk to your finances, you can opt out if you and your partner agree.

A young couple in their 20s who have lived together for a few years but are not yet sure about linking their finances may consider this, for example.

It is not yet known how couples can do this, but in Scotland couples can currently create agreements that regulate potential claims after a split. But make sure you both know what this will mean for your money if you separate or when one of you dies.

money@mailonsunday.co.uk

Not sure why Ricky Gervais is marrying his partner of 44 years? Wait until you read about... The devastating tax minefield for co-habiting couples

net from April. When Sarah dies five years later, let's say the house has appreciated in value and is worth £375,000, there's £250,000 left of Andrew's pension and her own pension is worth £400,000.

If she leaves all these assets to a niece, £280,000 in IHT is payable, according to calculations by the insurer Royal London.

That means £420,000 would have been paid on the couple's assets in total. But if Andrew and Sarah had been married, just £150,000 in IHT would have been paid.

MONEY IN THE WRONG HANDS

UNWED partners will also need to beware of a host of new risks if the reforms become law. A few weeks

ago, this newspaper warned that the plans may mean hard-earned wealth will fall into the wrong hands – especially for young couples who may not be embarking on a lifelong partnership.

For example, if parents give a grown-up child money towards their first home, then part of their gift could go to an ex-boyfriend or girlfriend if the couple split up, even if they're not married.

It also opens the floodgates for an inheritance disaster that leaves children with very little. Coles says: 'A couple may have children from a former relationship and they want to protect their assets in the event the relationship came to an end. These proposed changes may mean they don't have the protection they expect.'

If a cohabitee dies without leaving

ing a will, their partner will be automatically entitled to part or all of their estate.

A partner will inherit the entirety of an estate if it is worth £322,000 or less under intestacy laws. If the estate is worth more than this, the children simply inherit a portion of it.

After the potential reforms were announced in June, many unhappy individuals took to the social media platform Reddit to say that unmarried couples probably don't want the legal arrangements that marriage affords them.

Julian Hawkhead, senior partner at Stowe Family Law, says: 'The danger in trying to fix the 'common-law marriage' myth is we inadvertently create something that feels very much like marriage by default.'

WHAT TO DO NOW TO PROTECT YOUR WEALTH

Write a will

LEAVING a will can protect your loved one from financial ruin.

Clare Moffat, of Royal London, says: 'Not having a will means other people have the right to inherit. That could mean money or a house going to a cousin of the person who died rather than the person they live with.' Under the reforms, leaving a will ensures your estate is split how you want.

Make an agreement

IF YOU move in with someone, you can write a cohabitation

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56 Wealth & Personal Finance

By Tara Evans

WORKING parents with young children are using a lesser-known government scheme to slash the cost of expensive childcare fees by thousands of pounds a year.

So-called 'workplace nursery benefit schemes' are a valuable help for financially stretched families as the cost of childcare continues to soar.

Many employers offer this tax break, which allows parents to save by paying their nursery fees out of their salary before income tax and National Insurance is paid.

For Emily Summerson, 32, and her husband Reginald Port, 35, the benefit means they save £22,956 a year on nursery fees for their three children Reginald, three, Cordelia, two, and ten-month-old Priscilla.

With both Emily and Reginald working full-time, as chief executive of Boeing manufacturer Vuba Chemical Innovations and managing director of incineration firm Energy Works, respectively, their two older children attend nursery four days a week, while the youngest is there for three days. Extended members of their family help out on the

We save £22,966 a year on child care with this little-known tax trick

remaining days. Without any support, the family, of Swanland, near Hull, faced nursery bills of £3,600 a month – £43,200 a year.

However, Emily, an additional rate taxpayer, has set up a nursery salary sacrifice scheme via third-party firm Kinsail at her company. This reduces their monthly bill by 47 per cent to £1,913 a month. This is because Emily no longer pays 45 per cent tax on her income and NI before the fees are paid.

Emily says: 'It's a no-brainer for us. It's made a huge difference because the money it saves can be used towards holidays or things to

do with the family. We definitely feel the financial benefit every month.'

The salary sacrifice scheme works by giving you a lower gross salary in exchange for a non-cash benefit, in this case your employer pays your nursery fees directly.

Many employers use third-party companies that specialise in setting up salary sacrifice schemes and help get nurseries on board.

To qualify, your child must attend an Ofsted-registered nursery that participates in the benefit. HMBC also requires employers to take an active part in financing and managing the nursery, to ensure it complies with tax rules.

This means employers pay an extra contribution of at least £100 a month towards fixed nursery costs. This must be spent on equipment or resources, such as staff training or facilities.

Sarah Coles, head of personal finance at investment platform AJ Bell, says: 'You need to be confident the scheme is set up correctly and that the employer really is involved in the running of the nursery in some way.'

The tax office has previously issued warnings and opened inquiries into companies who use third-party firms who facilitate the scheme.

The scheme was introduced in 1990 and designed to encourage employers to run a nursery and

PROSPERING: Emily with Reginald, Cordelia and baby Priscilla

limit on how much you can save via the sacrifice scheme. Individual family savings will be based on the size of your nursery bill and how much you earn. Higher earners gain the most.

A basic-rate taxpayer who spends £1,000 a month on a nursery (£12,000 a year) could save £3,360 a year in the scheme, while a higher-rate taxpayer with the same nursery cost could save £5,040 a year as they save 40 per cent in tax, instead of 20 per cent. This can be incredibly valuable for parents struggling to cover eyewatering costs of childcare.

The average cost of a full-time nursery place for a child under two in the UK is £7,738 a year (£645 a month) for parents receiving 30 funded hours a week, according to the 2026 annual survey from children's charity Coram. But in London and the South-East the price can come in above £20,000, even with Government funding.

Working parents get up to 30 hours free childcare for children aged nine months to four years, spread over 38 weeks.

You can also use tax-free childcare which gives parents up to £2,000 a year free childcare, based on parents' payments being topped up by £2 for every £8 they pay in. However, once one parent earns over £100,000 both of these benefits are lost. Parents can still get 15 hours of free childcare for three and four-year-olds in England. Emily, who earns more

than this and does not qualify for the support, says: 'The Government advertises free support for working families and when you look into it there's hardly any benefit to us at all.'

Before signing up to the sacrifice scheme, parents should ensure they won't lose out by taking a lower gross salary. In some circumstances, this can have negative consequences.

It could reduce your mortgage affordability as it affects your take-home salary. You may also find that pension contributions are lower for the years where you use the childcare scheme. This is because some employers take your salary post-salary sacrifice to cal-

'It will affect things like maternity pay'

culate pension contributions. Coles says: 'If you use salary sacrifice, you're effectively accepting a pay cut in exchange for something else, so it will affect some of the things based on your earnings, including statutory maternity pay and statutory redundancy pay.

'You should also check your contract to see how your employer calculates life cover because while some will base payments on your salary before the sacrifice, they can use the lower figure.'

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'It's a no-brainer, we feel the benefit'

provide places for children of staff, either by opening an onsite nursery or by teaming up with other businesses to jointly finance one.

To meet the strict tax requirements, parents who sign up to the tax break are often required to meet nursery managers to discuss how the money should be spent, or share their wishes in writing, and they can be required to attend meetings.

Emily says the scheme was easy to set up. 'Initially I did it through my previous employer as it was one of the benefits they offered, but I've just introduced it at Vuba.

'Parents have an initial kick-off meeting with the nursery to discuss any issues within the nursery and how they are going to use the funds.'

She asked her nursery if there was any safety equipment they wanted to buy. She says: 'We agreed loosely what the money would be spent on. The nursery raises an invoice for your fees to the employer and the employer pays it.' There is no

---

Wesley's Personal Finance

57

Celebrities are paid more the further they go in Strictly ... I made sure Lulu got booted out early!

BRENDAN Cole is a New Zealand ballroom dancer, famous for appearing on BBC TV's Strictly Come Dancing from 2004 to 2017, writes RICHARD BARBER.

He won the show's first series with his celebrity partner, newscaster Natasha Kaplinsky.

In October, the 50-year-old will embark on a 30-date tour of the UK called The Legends in Vegas: After Hours, with fellow professionals Vincent Simone, Ian Waite, Pasha Kovalev and James Jordan.

Brendan and ex-model wife Zoe, pictured right, live in Oxfordshire with their children Aurelia, 13, and Dante, eight.

Q What did your parents teach you about money?

A Not enough. And yet my father was a successful businessman, he owned a number of restaurants in Christchurch, New Zealand. When I eventually started earning, I had no idea about how I should handle money and knew nothing at all about mortgages or investments.

Q What did you do for your first job?

A I left school at 16 and became a roofer and then an unskilled labourer. I danced throughout my childhood and then, aged 18, I took part in the World Championships in Ukraine.

On my journey there, I stopped in England to practise ahead of the event. When I walked into the Simply Ballroom dance school in south London, I knew instantly this would be my future. After the competition in Ukraine, I decided to make the UK my new home.

Q Did you earn any money from dancing at this stage?

A No, I had to get jobs as a cleaner in the Hard Rock Cafe, a builder in Croydon and working for a luggage brand. I'd work by day to subsidise my efforts to become a pro dancer.

ME AND MY MONEY

Brendan Cole Ballroom dancer

Q What happened when you joined Strictly in 2004?

A It completely changed my world and, of course, my profile – although I took a big pay cut from what I had been earning on the circuit as a dancer.

My romantic and professional partner at the time, Camilla Dallerup [who was in the first six series of Strictly], and I were on about £120,000 a year between us.

Initially on Strictly, I was paid a flat fee of £11,000. The rest of my earnings were made from other work. In time, the celebrities, but not the professionals, started getting more money the further they progressed in the competition.

With this in mind, in 2011, I made it my life's work to ensure Lulu – who I was partnered with – didn't get to Blackpool, which was usually halfway through the series, and qualify for a raised fee. We did not hit it off, to say the very least.

Q Did your money improve as the years rolled on?

A In time, it went from £11,000 to £14,000, then £17,000 and rose again to £21,000 over the course of a few years.

It then jumped to £25,000, followed by £35,000 and then £40,000. By the time I left in 2017, I was being paid £51,000.

What annoyed me was that any

new professionals who joined at that stage got the same money as me.

Q Have you ever been paid silly money?

A Yes, when I did Love Island in 2006. I was paid between £30,000 and £40,000 to be on the show, substantially more than the £14,000 I was getting for Strictly.

Q Which proved to be the best year of your financial life?

A Immediately after leaving Strictly in 2017. The show took up six months of each year if you include the UK tour.

After that, I was free to tour in my own shows and sometimes I earned a five-figure, occasionally a six-figure, sum.

Q And the worst financial year of your life?

A When the Government decimated the live entertainment industry during Covid. I didn't do a single day's work for a year and a half.

I hadn't put any money aside because I'd had no way of knowing my professional life would come to an abrupt halt. I had a wife, two children at private school and three

mortgages, including my flat in west London, a house in Buckinghamshire and a property in Majorca. It was tough.

Q What's the most expensive thing you've bought for fun?

A Flash cars – I bought a couple of Teslas when they first came out – but I wouldn't advise it. They quickly depreciate in value.

Yet I don't regret two Tom Ford suits costing around £5,000 each. They make me feel and look great – and that's good for business.

Q What do you regard as your biggest financial mistake?

A My children. No, I'm joking although they are very expensive. I bought four properties off-plan in Manchester and Liverpool as part of a deal that cost me £50,000 for no real return.

Q What's been your best money decision?

A In 2008, I bought a flat in Parsons Green, west London, at the height of the depression and I was petrified I'd done the wrong thing. But I sold it seven years later at a profit of £290,000. The only property I now own is a house in Majorca. I had to sell my UK properties when my career stalled

AWKWARD MOVER: Brendan Cole with Lulu in 2011

so I could continue to pay for the Majorcan house. We rent in the UK.

Q Will you pass money on to your children – or spend it?

A I would like to set my children up the best I can and give them advice on making wise financial decisions. I wouldn't expect them to come to Daddy for hand-outs when they're 40 or 50.

Q Have you put money aside for a pension?

A I have, the worst thing I've ever done. The money was sitting there but I couldn't get my hands on it in my hour of need.

Q What would you do if you were made Chancellor?

A I'd remove all tax for anyone earning £50,000 or less. If people had that money, they'd spend it and businesses would prosper. And I'd remove VAT on school fees.

Q What's your number one financial priority?

A My children's schooling. I want them to have the best education possible. I'm prepared to work my backside off to ensure it.

© Tickets for the UK tour – The Legends in Vegas: After Hours – are on sale now, available from the venues, Ticketmaster and via legendsofthedancefloor.com

---

58 Wealth & Personal Finance

From safety-first to higher-risk ...the best homes for YOUR Isa

IN THIS new series, our experts answer your burning questions about growing your wealth.

AN Individual Savings Account (Isa) is a great starting place for any investor. You can put up to £20,000 into these accounts each year and all the gains are tax-free.

It's also easy to access your cash in an emergency – but with tens of thousands of funds and stocks to choose from, deciding where to invest your money can be tricky.

Knowing your goals and understanding your tolerance for risk will help whittle down the options.

Consider how long you plan to invest (experts suggest five years at least) and whether you need to focus on growing your wealth or if you need to generate an income.

Beginners could start with a multi-asset fund, a one-stop shop investment spreading your money across a range of assets including stocks, bonds, property and gold.

Rob Morgan, of investment group Charles Stanley, suggests Troy Personal Assets investment trust, which has eight per cent of its portfolio in gold but also holds government bonds and shares of large companies including Diageo and Chubb. It has returned 19.9

HOW TO INVEST...

Get a question on growing your wealth? Email us at: money@mailonsunday.co.uk

By Holly Mead

per cent over five years. Those willing to take more risk could opt for a global equity fund, which invests in companies worldwide. This gives you a diversified base to build the rest of your portfolio from: says Darius McDermott, of ratings agency FundCalibre.

He likes Brunner Investment Trust, which invests in 40 to 60 stocks worldwide including Visa, Tesco and French energy firm

Schneider Electric. It has returned 63.3 per cent over three years.

If you can afford the risk and don't need to access the money soon, adding racier investments can help boost returns. It is usually sensible to have a smaller portion of your money in these.

McDermott names International Biotechnology Trust, which invests in life sciences businesses focusing on specific areas, such as oncology. Some of its investments are in private companies not yet listed on the stock market, which can be riskier as they do not have to share as much financial data. The fund has returned 82.5 per cent over five years.

BlackRock World Mining Trust could be an option for those looking to benefit from the AI infrastructure boom without putting money only in tech stocks. The trust invests in firms mining the materials needed to power data centres, robotics, electric vehicles and more. The fund has returned 83.5 per cent over five years.

Asia is home to some of the fastest-growing economies, with a young, increasingly wealthy population. McDermott suggests looking at Matthews Pacific Tiger fund. Top holdings include Taiwan

Semiconductor, Samsung Electronics and Alibaba, the Chinese e-commerce platform. It has returned 24 per cent over five years but done better in the short-term, up 37 per cent over a year.

For some investors, particularly retirees, income is the priority. There are several ways funds can invest to meet this need.

'This fund gives you a diversified base'

Equity income funds invest in the shares of dividend-paying companies and use this to pay an income to their own investors. Here, McDermott rates the Guinness Global Equity Income fund, which invests in the likes of Coca-Cola and Swiss pharmaceutical firm Roche. It has returned 59.9 per cent over five years and has a dividend yield of 2.61 per cent.

Bond funds invest in debt issued by companies and governments and receive an interest payment (known as a coupon). Morgan points to the Ninety One Diversified Income fund, which holds a

blend of bonds, stocks and other assets. It holds debt issued by the US, UK, Australian and Brazilian governments. The fund has returned 14.4 per cent over five years and yields 4.4 per cent.

Other funds pay out an income from the rents they receive on property they invest in, such as offices, warehouses and shopping malls, or infrastructure assets, such as schools and hospitals.

One option here is the FTF Clear-Bridge Global Infrastructure Income fund, which invests in firms that operate in roads, rail and airports as well as utilities.

Top holdings include Entergy, a US energy provider, and Aena, which manages 46 airports and two heliports across Spain. It has returned 51.2 per cent over five years and yields 4.3 per cent.

Investors can choose to have their income paid out, which can help cover their living costs, while leaving their original capital invested to keep growing.

But these funds can still suit those who prioritise growth. Choosing the 'accumulation' units of a fund means the income is automatically reinvested, rather than paid out to you, helping to further boost returns.

BEST BUYS...The leading deals for your home and savings

SAVINGS

CASH FSA

TYPE	PROVIDER	MINIMUM INVESTMENT	RATE %
Easy access	Sidekick	£1	4.61
	Chip	£1	4.55
One year fixed rate	UBL UK	£2,000	4.71
	Vida Savings	£1,000	4.70
Two year fixed rate	Vida Savings	£1,000	4.77
	Cynergy Bank	£500	4.75
Notice account	The Stafford BS 90 Day	£100	4.10
	Harpenden BS 90 Day	£1,000	4.04

CHILDREN'S ACCOUNTS

TYPE	PROVIDER	MINIMUM INVESTMENT	RATE %
Savings accounts	Hanley Economic BS	£25	5.50
	Nationwide BS	£1	5.00
	State Bank Of India	£1,000	4.50
Junior ISAs	Leek Building Society	£1	3.85
	Beverley BS	£1	3.85
	Skipton BS	£1	3.80

Source: Moneyfactscompare.co.uk

SAVINGS ACCOUNTS

TYPE	PROVIDER	MINIMUM INVESTMENT	RATE %
Easy access	Cahoot	£1	5.00
	LemFi	£1	5.00
One year fixed rate	MBNA	£1,000	4.85
	Chetwood Bank	£1,000	4.83
Two year fixed rate	Chetwood Bank	£1,000	4.88
	Birmingham Bank	£5,000	4.87
Notice account	GB Bank 150 Day	£1,000	4.38
	BLME 90 Day	£10,000	4.37

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MORTGAGES

TWO-YEAR FIXES

LENDER	RATE	DETAILS	DEPOSIT	FEE	CONTACT
Coventry	4.91	To 31/12/28	35%	£0	0800 121 8899
Santander	4.98	To 02/12/28	15%	£0	0800 068 6064
Leeds	5.22	To 30/11/28	5%	£999	0345 045 4049

FIVE-YEAR FIXES

Allied Irish	4.76	To 31/10/31	25%	£0	0289 047 9221
Allied Irish	4.84	To 31/10/31	15%	£0	0289 047 9221
HSBC	5.24	To 31/10/31	5%	£0	0800 494 999

BASE RATE TRACKERS

LENDER	RATE	DETAILS	DEPOSIT	FEE	CONTACT
HSBC	4.12	Base +0.37% for 2 years	40%	£999	0800 494 999
Nationwide	4.95	Base +1.20% for 2 years	5%	£0	0800 302 010
Barclays	4.35	Base +0.60% for 5 years	40%	£999	0333 202 7580

BUY TO LET

HSBC	5.03	To 31/10/28	40%	£0	0800 494 999
NatWest	4.66	To 30/11/31	40%	£995	0800 400 999
TSB	5.59	To 31/10/31	20%	£995	0800 056 1088

Source: LAC Mortgages - 0800 694 5444 / landc.co.uk

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AUGUST 25 • 2026 The Hall on Sunday

59

TRAILFINDERS

THE TRAVEL EXPERTS

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The Ghan – The Ultimate Territory Tour, Australia

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Vietnam Express Southbound

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Classic Italy by Rail

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Direct flights, 2 nights 4★ Rome hotel, Skip the Line Vatican Museum & Sistine Chapel Morning Tour, 2 nights 4★ Florence hotel, Learn to Make Pizza & Gelato, 2 nights 4★ Venice hotel, Cicchetti & Wine Tour, Business Class trains and breakfast

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WHEREVER AND WHENEVER... TRUST TRAILFINDERS TO TAKE CARE OF YOU

	ECONOMY	BUSINESS		ECONOMY	BUSINESS
LONDON KENSINGTON	020 7938 2009	020 7938 2444	NEWCASTLE	0191 261 2345	0191 261 2344
LONDON CITY	020 7638 7500	020 7638 2445	NORMICK	01602 216 216	01602 216 204
LONDON CANARY WHARF	020 7147 5300	020 7147 5344	NOTTINGHAM	0113 948 7700	0113 948 7744
LONDON WEST END	020 7488 9000	020 7488 9044	OXFORD	01663 261 000	01663 261 044
LONDON EAST	020 8799 0400	020 8799 0447	READING	0118 534 6300	0118 534 6344
LONDON ROOSEVELD	020 8799 0444	020 8799 0445	SHIFFIELD	0114 349 9300	0114 349 9191
LONDON KINGSTON	0204 613 6000	0204 613 6044	SOUVILLE	0121 716 9000	0121 716 8999
ABERDEEN	01254 578 600	01254 578 644	SOUTHAMPTON	0220 351 4930	0220 351 4940
BATH	01223 724 000	01223 724 044	ST ALMANS	01737 807 700	01737 807 744
BEAUT	028 9057 1888	028 9057 1844	TURBROOK WELL	01892 567 180	01892 567 200
BIRMINGHAM	0121 236 1254	0121 236 3444	WINCHESTER	01962 798 500	01962 798 444
BOURNEMOUTH	01202 411 400	01202 411 444	WINCHESTER	01752 397 400	01752 397 444
BRIGHTON	01273 715 500	01273 715 544	WORCESTER	01902 249 355	01902 249 400
BRISTOL	0117 939 9000	0117 939 1026	YORK	01904 942 900	01904 942 899
CAMBRIDGE	01223 461 600	01223 448 188
CHINESE	01227 863 700	01227 863 744
CARDIFF	02920 736 600	02920 736 644
CARDIFF	01228 471 100	01228 471 244
CHESHAPERD	01245 961 400	01245 961 361
CHESTERMAN	01343 427 375	01343 427 384
CHESTER	01344 886 777	01344 886 744
EDINBURGH	0131 363 3800	0131 363 3844
ESTER	01393 458 000	01393 458 344
GLASGOW	0141 353 2224	0141 353 3400
GLASGOW	01483 478 400	01483 478 444
GLESFORD	0113 346 2200	0113 346 2344
GLESFORD	0151 221 9500	0151 221 9544
HAWCHESTER	0161 839 6969	0161 839 2424
HISTON KEYNES	01908 348 400	01908 348 348

SPECIALIST TEAMS

CRUISE SPECIALISTS	020 7084 6502
CORPORATE TRAVEL	020 7368 1499
GROUP TRAVEL	020 7938 3858
TRAVEL INSURANCE	020 7408 9005
VISA & PASSPORT SERVICE	020 7368 1504
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More Flight Offers & Information

	Economy	Business
Bangkok	£459-	£1,898-
Sri Lanka	£549†	£1,999†
Los Angeles	£592-	£3,099‡
New York	£594#	£2,599-
Maldives	£598§	£2,399§
Vietnam	£599#	£2,049†
Cape Town	£688#	£2,499#
Sydney	£699-	£3,099-
Auckland	£763†	£3,978-
Vancouver	£775-	£3,179-

CALL FOR ANY DESTINATION OR ROUTING

NO ONE LOOKS AFTER YOU BETTER

Prices are per person based on twin share including flights from London (call for details), are subject to availability & valid for selected departures in the next 6 weeks except 926 Sep - 31 Oct - 1 Nov - 15 Dec 26 17 Jan - 31 Mar 27 11 Apr - 30 Jun 27 9 Nov - Dec 27. Hotel, cruise, tour and flight prices are dynamic, fluctuating in real time according to consumer demand and the season of travel. Prices exclude any applicable local taxes and fees. All information correct at time of going to point on 31 Aug 26.

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60

The Sunday AUGUST 23 • 2026

Holidays

DEALS OF THE WEEK

SAVE 2800 LUXURY CORFU A seven-night, half-board stay at five-star Emerald Retreat, Domes Miramare in Corfu is now available from £949pp, including return flights, baggage and transfers (destinology.co.uk).

SAVE 40% LOCO FOR ST LUCIA Seven nights B&B at the Coco Palm in St Lucia is available from £1,259pp, including return flights and one checked bag. Book by August 26 for stays between September 1 and 30 (britishairways.com/stlucia).

SAVE 20% WINTER SUN SAVINGS Solmar Villas is offering 20 per cent off winter sun holidays booked before September 2. Offer includes 950 villas with

CARIBBEAN CLASS: Coco Palm resort, St Lucia

destinations including the Canary Islands, Greece and the Algarve for stays between October 1 and December 31 (solmarvillas.com).

SAVE 20% SAIL THROUGH CROATIA A seven-night cruise onboard the MS

Phoenix 72 from Split to Dubrovnik is available from £1,569pp. Price includes all excursions, private transfers, breakfast and three-course lunches, a welcome dinner, a captain's dinner, wifi and entertainment (cruisecroatia.com).

By Annabel Venning

OUR horses' hooves clip-clop across rocky, red-tinted ground bathed in Sunday-morning sunshine. It is another glorious day in the Waterberg, an area of South Africa renowned for its spectacular scenery and abundant wildlife.

We round a corner of bush and there, just a few feet away, is a baby giraffe, seemingly alone, regarding us demurely from under its long lashes.

Our lead guide whispers that the little fellow is three months old. 'Where are his parents?' One of our group asks.

In answer, Mama giraffe appears from behind a tree and, a few (giant) steps behind her comes Papa. For 15 minutes, the giraffe family placidly watch us watching them, our horses grazing the grass while the giraffes munch the treetops. Eventually they move off with graceful loping strides and disappear into the bush.

It is a pinch-me moment in a week of extraordinary encounters that has me gasping with delight. I have been on safari before, but the four-wheel drive kind. Wonderful though these are, the presence of other vehicles full of tourists can scare wildlife away.

No danger of that on a horseback safari. It is just you and your fellow riders, the soft snorting of the horses and the creatures of the bush – not a vehicle in sight. I have never felt so fully immersed in nature, with 360-degree views for miles across grassland to distant hills.

On one occasion we sit on our horses and watch from as close as six feet away as a male wildebeest tries to have his way with a seemingly reluctant female. Our presence does not deter him in the slightest. Likewise, giraffes, zebras, warthogs, elands, antelopes, waterbucks and ostriches are equally unfazed by their fellow herbivores and the creatures sitting astride them... us.

Horseback safaris reach parts other safaris cannot reach. No vehicle could have scrambled up the rocks to find the giraffe family's hangout, as we do, nor penetrate the bush along narrow paths to spot kudus, known as the 'grey ghost' because they blend in with trees. Sure, it might be possi-

ble on a walking safari, but you would never cover as much ground (nor have the lofty viewpoint).

Little wonder then that horseback safaris are becoming increasingly popular. They are simultaneously thrilling and peaceful, with less environmental impact than their vehicle-based equivalents. Plus, they meet the trend for more active, adventurous travel.

Having not ridden for more than 30 years, I initially had my doubts. But my cousin Alex, who had enjoyed a horseback safari in Kenya with her family (two of whom had never previously ridden), assured me that not only would I manage, it would be

TRUSTY STEED: Annabel Venning on the back of Iceman

huge fun too. 'If you go, I'll come,' she added – and when she mentioned that 2026 is the Chinese Year of the Horse, I was sold.

To set it all up, I contacted Natural High Safaris, which offers riding trips in Kenya, Botswana, Mozambique, Namibia, Zambia, Zimbabwe and South Africa – and in the High Andes in Ecuador – suitable for experienced, rusty, and even first-time riders.

Jemma Loveridge from Natural High told me the company had seen a huge recent surge in demand for riding safaris with a wide variety of interest from families through to couples and solo travellers. She checked the one we had our eyes on. Luckily, there were spaces.

Before going, I went for a few lessons at a riding school to get my muscles used to being back on the saddle. I also kitted myself out with jodhpurs and riding boots.

We were to go on a week-long horseback safari at Horizon Lodge

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---

Holidays 61

CLOSE ENCOUNTERS: Safari horseback riders are able to get right up close to giraffes, left, and warthogs, above

Our guides are hugely knowledgeable about the bush and wildlife, pointing out footprints of leopards, hyena and hippos, as well as holes dug by aardvarks.

Frequently there are different kinds of surprises: an ice box miraculously appearing for sundowner drinks above a dramatic gorge, and delicious brunch picnics in the middle of the bush. We are usually as hungry as our horses.

One afternoon, travelling in four-wheel drives this time, we go to nearby Entabeni game reserve to spot elephants, rhinos (further away than on horseback) and a pair of lions stalking a buffalo beard. It is fantastic, but after an afternoon in a vehicle, I am itching to get back on the saddle.

At night in our cosy room by the lake we hear hippos grunting and bellowing. Meanwhile, in the afternoons you can see them wallowing in the shallows.

On our final morning, after a glorious ride in the sunshine, our horses are hot and so are we. So our guide suggests we change into our swimwear and take our mounts into the lake.

I am riding my favourite horse of the week, a gorgeous grey named Iceman (I try ten impeccably behaved mounts over the seven days). Together we enter the water and swim among the water lilies. It is completely magical.

Many guests return again and again. People who have never or seldom ridden get the bug. I certainly have. Although it is an active holiday, I feel mentally well-rested. Focusing on riding clears your mind. You live entirely in the moment.

Despite friends warning how sore I would get, by the end of the week the only muscles that really ache are those in my face – from constantly grinning. I am already planning my return.

Wildlife, wine and handsome Iceman. Who could want more?

in the Waterberg, which caters to riders of all abilities or none; they match you with the right horse for your ability, height and weight. There are 120 horses, so there are suitable mounts for everyone.

Importantly, there are neither elephants nor predators, so no need to worry about falling off in front of a hungry lion. Anyway, Jemma assured me: 'You won't fall off – the horses are so well schooled, you'll be cantering confidently within days.'

Alex and I join a group comprising six tourists (eight is the maximum). Every ride is led by an experienced guide with another

at the rear, and saddles are remarkably comfortable. The guides always check we are ready to canter and give us a warning whistle before slowing down. The horses know what that means and obey. It is as easy as riding a pony on a merry-go-round.

Within 24 hours I feel more at home in the saddle than ever before. Within days I am galloping across the grasslands, laughing with exhilaration.

One day we ride to a tented camp on another part of the estate. At the end of the week we spend a night at a luxurious, stylish lodge on a neighbouring

estate overlooking a plain full of game. Here, we lie poolside between rides and watch ostriches, zebras and warthogs hanging out with our horses by a nearby lake.

During this excursion, at one point we come into a clearing to find the vast, grey bulk of a female rhino a few yards away. Startled, it initially moves towards us as though regarding us as a threat.

But our horses nonchalantly begin grazing. We are obviously no danger, the rhino concludes and she trots off. This is an awesome encounter. We would never have got so close in a vehicle.

TRAVEL FACTS

NATURAL High Safari's seven-day Signature Safari in the Waterberg, South Africa costs from £2,157pp excluding international flights and transfers; children aged 7 to 16 inclusive are from £1,617 (naturalhighsafaris.com).

UNFAZED: Zebras graze as the riders look on

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62 Holidays

SPECIAL PROMOTION

Enjoy an eight-day trip to the breathtaking sights of Italy's Amalfi Coast

BAROQUE treasures, legendary Pompeii and Italy's idyllic 'Green Isle' are yours to explore with an eight-day Premier escape to the Amalfi Coast.

Your Italian getaway begins with a flight to Naples, where you'll be greeted by your Premier tour manager and transferred to your elegant hotel base for the week, Hotel Le Rocce. With views over the breathtaking Amalfi Coast from your hotel, you'll be free to settle into your new surroundings at your own pace, with a full day at leisure, before discovering nearby Ischia on your first included excursion.

On this fascinating tour, cross the Bay of Naples to Italy's 'Green Isle', where you'll visit the dramatic Aragonese Castle, the fishing town of Borgo di Ischia Ponte, and a handful of the island's most picturesque coastal hotspots. The following day will introduce one of Campania's most historic cities, Caserta, and you can soak up the splendours of its remarkable royal palace and its sprawling grounds. Widely known as the 'Versailles of Italy', this landmark is a masterpiece of Baroque architecture, and you'll have the chance to explore under your own steam ahead of a wine-tasting session on the outskirts of the city.

The second half of your holiday will start with another full day at leisure, which you can spend as you see fit. If you'd prefer to keep exploring, an optional excursion will take you to the seaside towns of Ravello and Amalfi, two of Italy's most photogenic spots. One of the tour's highlights awaits the following day, with a day trip to colourful Positano and Sorrento, a delightful spot looking out over the Tyrrhenian Sea. You'll have ample time to explore both towns under guidance and at leisure, before heading back to the hotel for another night on Italy's south coast. There'll be the option to

enjoy a relaxed morning or join an expert-led cooking class the next day, and in the afternoon head north for a final stop in legendary Pompeii. Here, in the shadow of mighty Vesuvius, discover the city's remarkably well-preserved Roman villas at one of Europe's most famous archaeological sites.

REASONS TO BOOK

Unspoilt Ischia Experience the well-preserved garden isle of

Ischia on a full-day excursion. Marvel at the Aragonese Castle, which juts dramatically out of the sea, and explore its cloisters, ramparts and courtyards. You'll also be introduced to four of the island's finest towns, including Barano d'Ischia, Serrara Fontana and Forio with its botanical gardens. Finish at Lacco Ameno, a resort town known for its mushroom-shaped rock, Il Fungo.

The 'Versailles of Italy' One of the undeniable highlights of your

tour will be Caserta's extraordinary royal palace, which is for many the most impressive building of its kind in the country. Explore the palace's Baroque chambers and its vast throne room under guidance, and admire the surrounding grounds, from the English Garden, home to more than 220 floral species, to the Royal Park. The Via d'Acqua, a series of connected waterfalls, basins and fountains, is another must-see feature.

The treasures of southern Italy With striking views of the Amalfi Coast from your hotel and plenty of included and optional excursions to help you make the most of your time, you'll be perfectly placed to soak up the best of Campania. Venture out to the towns of the Amalfi

BELLISSIMA: Picturesque Sorrento, the perfect place to sip limoncello

Coast or simply admire the views from the poolside with two days at leisure, explore colourful Positano, and enhance your itinerary with stops in the towns of Amalfi and Ravello.

Heritage of Campania Throughout your holiday, enjoy an immersive introduction to the history, culture and cuisine of this delightful part of southern Italy. Learn how to cook like a local with an optional cooking class and sample Campania's fine local labels at a wine estate. You'll also walk in the footsteps of the ancient Romans with a poignant visit to Pompeii and try authentic limoncello in Sorrento.

OFFER OF THE WEEK

The Flying Scotsman Steam Train & Delightful Dorset

2 days train £219*

WHAT'S INCLUDED:

• Departs October 27 & 28, 2026
• Return coach travel*
• One night's three or four-star bed-and-breakfast accommodation at a selected hotel, plus an evening meal
• Train journey behind the Flying Scotsman on the Swanage Railway between Swanage and Norden
• En-route visit to Bournemouth
• Free time in Swanage

Call us FREE on 0808 239 5704 Visit www.mailtravel.co.uk

Operated by Iusi Co-Holidays Ltd ABTOT 7022 ATOL 10885, a company wholly independent of Associated Newspapers Ltd and Mail Travel. Price based two sharing single supplement may apply. *From a network of pickup points in England & Wales. Price correct at the time of print.

WHAT'S INCLUDED

• Return flights to Naples, coach travel and transfers throughout
• Seven nights' four-star half-board accommodation at the Hotel Le Rocce, Agerola
• Excursion to Ischia with boat transfers

• A visit to the royal

• palace of Caserta

• Wine-tasting in Caserta
• Tour of Positano and Sorrento
• Visit to Pompeii
• Fully escorted by a experienced Premier Collection tour manager
• All mandatory local taxes and charges

HOW TO BOOK

The dates April to October 2027 The price From £2.28lpp* CALL 0808 239 1392 For more information, or to book directly, visit www.mailtravel.co.uk/positanoischia

TERMS AND CONDITIONS: Holidays are operated by Newmarket Holidays ABTOT 7028, ATOL 2525, ABTA 17852, a company wholly independent of Associated Newspapers Limited and Mail Travel. Price based on two people sharing. Single supplement supply. From price based on April 15, 2027 from London Heathrow. *Save up to 15% applies to select tour bookings made by September 30, 2026, and cannot be applied retrospectively to bookings already confirmed. Subject to availability and may be withdrawn at any time. Prices shown include the discount. Prices correct at the time of print.

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Trolldays

63

By Angela Epstein

KALAMATA airport in southern Greece has a drowsy, low-key feel, with a solitary border control official and a tiny Avis desk.

It is high season – though you would not have guessed it – and we are about to embark on a Greek road trip.

Few British holidaymakers visit the Greek mainland: Around 70-80 per cent prefer the often-overcrowded islands. But, inspired by Christopher Nolan's blockbuster film, The Odyssey, we are looking forward to an odyssey of our own, avoiding high-season tourist hordes, while enjoying turquoise seas, ancient ruins and silvery olive groves along the way.

The plan is to drive from Kalamata to Athens, dropping off the hire car at the other end – a journey of 160 miles. My husband Martin and I have a week and expect to make three stops along the way.

First port of call is 30 miles west of Kalamata airport, going backwards as far as the route to Athens is concerned, but there are brilliant local ancient sights – and beaches – that we hope to see, some connected to Homer's epic ancient tale.

Our base is The Romanos, a luxury Marriott chain hotel, set in the Costa Navarino resort in the Messinia region. Spread over 1,000 hectares of countryside facing the Ionian sea, it never feels crowded, despite countless restaurants, pools and Greece's largest spa (22 treatment rooms).

During our stay we drive about, exploring the scenery in our trusty Volkswagen, first visiting Voidokilia Beach, an omega-shaped curve of sand overlooked by the limestone Nestor's Cave, where Nolan reportedly filmed parts of his epic. It's a delightfully quiet spot off the tourist trail.

Next we drive a dozen miles south to the harbour town of Pylos, a place to pause in the square before climbing up to Niokastro, a 16th-century fortress overlooking the bay. With spaces to park and hardly any people, it's hard not to feel smug.

After three days of pottering, it is time to move onwards to Athens. We are heading

PICTURESQUE: Al fresco dining at the Grande Bretagne

Inspired by Christopher Nolan's blockbuster film, our writer drives 160 miles from Kalamata to Athens

for the harbour town of Nafplio. As we roll away from Kalamata the scenery becomes increasingly dramatic, climbing into the Peloponnesian highlands. Equally striking is the weather, as grey clouds close in.

Along the way we call in at Messene, with its vast amphitheatre, one of Greece's most impressive yet least crowded archaeological sites. We stop too at Tiryns, where Heracles, the great Greek hero, is said to have performed his Twelve Labours.

But the real freedom of a Greek road trip is simply pulling in where the mood takes you, and not aiming for 'sights'. We also enjoy quiet mountain villages with stone houses and views stretching for miles.

In Nafplio, we check in to the Hotel Grande Bretagne, a neo-classical landmark in Filellinon Square. It is perfectly placed for exploring the old town and harbour, with its layers of Venetian and Ottoman architecture.

Nafplio is easily walkable, with narrow alleyways and boutique-lined streets, though the car proves useful for the climb up to the 300-year-old Palamidi Fortress, which looms over 700ft above the town.

Back on the road again, our final leg towards Athens strings together yet more of Greece's greatest attractions.

We pull in to Corinth to wander among the ruins, before heading to a viewpoint above the four-mile-long Corinth Canal. This superb waterway slices through the landscape, providing a link between the Ionian and Aegean seas.

As Athens approaches, traffic thickens

TRAVEL FACTS

FLIGHTS to Kalamata from Stansted from £84, return Athens-Stansted flights from £148 (jet2.com). Doubles at The Romanos from £333 (costanavarino.com); doubles at Hotel Grande Bretagne from £120 (sunvil.co.uk); doubles at the Conrad Ilisian from £600 (hilton.com). Car hire: From £219 (britishairways.com).

and we worry that the sense of open-road freedom might dissipate.

But fortunately we're checking in to the recently opened Conrad Athens The Ilisian, where we are staying for two nights. The hotel is a 15-minute walk from Syntagma Square, home of the Hellenic Parliament, and

OMEGA-SHAPED: Voidokilia Beach, above, and inset, a sailboat on the Corinth Canal

comes with a large pool, oversized rooms and a sense of airiness and space.

Our Greek road trip odyssey is over in style... without a Cyclops in sight.

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Holidays

65

MY husband and I would like a three-night cool-down break at a hotel in Britain with an outdoor pool, going Thursday to Sunday. We don't want to drive too far, maybe two to three hours maximum. We live in St Albans. Can you recommend somewhere?

Edwina Kitson, via email

BRITISH hotels with outdoor pools have come into their own in recent summers due to higher temperatures. The lure of the Med is not as strong now that southern temperatures have arrived on our shores. One silver lining of the heatwaves is that UK tourism is getting a staycation boost.

There are many excellent hotels with pools from which to choose. How about trying Tylney Hall in Hook, Hampshire, a splendid 19th-century country house hotel with a sunken garden featuring a 50x20ft pool surrounded by clipped hedges and flowerbeds.

This is a relaxing, secluded setting with sun loungers and waiter service. There's also an indoor pool and spa. In early

Which UK hotels have outdoor pools?

September, a handy 'three nights for the price of two' offer is available, working out at £613 B&B (tylneyhall.co.uk). It's about a 90-minute drive from St Albans.

Or you could try an all-time classic hotel pool. Check in to five-star Cliveden House in Buckinghamshire, on a hill above the Thames, and head for

its 70x30ft pool that comes with a scandal. It was here in 1961 that John Profumo, the British Secretary of State for War, met Christine Keeler. Their affair led to his resignation.

That aside, Cliveden, a stately mansion dating from 1851, is a classy hotel and its outside pool is one of Britain's finest. It is next to an outbuilding with a

similar sized indoor pool and first-rate spa. Unsurprisingly, Cliveden is pricey - from £1,938 B&B for three nights in September, though if you felt like sampling it, individual nights are from £450 (clivedenhouse.co.uk). It's about a 50-minute drive from St Albans.

For a hideaway in a peaceful village, the Rectory in Crudwell,

Wiltshire, is a good pick - with a 30x15ft pool hidden in its tranquil garden. Three nights in September are from £610 B&B (therectoryhotel.com). It's a 2h 15m drive from St Albans.

Alternatively, requiring a three-hour drive, the Cumberland Hotel in Bournemouth is an art deco property with a splendid curving pool, where three nights are from £449 B&B (cumberlandbournemouth.co.uk).

To keep costs down further, perhaps book a cheaper hotel near a lido; see alltheildos.co.uk.

I AM going from Portsmouth to Caen by ferry and have already had my Entry/Exit System (EES) scans. What happens when I arrive in France?

Migs Jacques, via email

ON arrival you will be directed to border control booths as usual and you will, frustratingly, need to be checked again. However, there has been a delay in rolling out EES technology at the port, as with other French ports. So your passport will be checked by a border officer in old-fashioned style. There are no fast-track lines for those already scanned. Fortunately, there are no reports of extra delays.

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67

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The Cabin Visa Required. Cruise Club UK is a subsidiary of Travelworld International MCR. Cruise Club UK acts as ATOL holder/agent for financial protection. Prices are based on two-shot per person and subject to availability and currency fluctuations. Prices subject to change without notice, until reservation is confirmed. ABTA NUMBER: 59090 | ATOL NUMBER: 5675. For full terms and conditions, cruiseclubuk.com/terms-conditions.phtml

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69

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ABTA

The Colon Year Required. Cruise Club UK is a subsidiary of Travelworld International (AVI). Cruise Club UK acts as ATOL holder / agent for financial protection. Prices are based on two share per person and subject to availability and currency fluctuations. Prices subject to change without notice, until examination is confirmed. ABTA NUMBER: 59095 | ATOL NUMBER: 5673. For full terms and conditions: cruiseclubuk.com/terms-conditions/other

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75

Write to: The Letters Editor, The Mall on Sunday, 9 Derry Street, London W8 5HY, Email: letters@mailonsunday.co.uk

Letters

For our safety, No10 must not 'cry wolf' again

The Conservative Party was right saying in last Sunday's paper that the Government's decision to send an emergency message to millions of mobile phones was unnecessary and may be counterproductive. While most people will fully accept the need to take precautions against fire during dry spells – which the alert warned about – if such messages are seen as 'crying wolf' or causing panic, there is a danger that people will either disregard future communications or turn off the facility so messages will not be received.

Also, the Government's temporary ban on the sale of disposable barbecue sets will not deter those who either through ignorance or malice choose to start wildfires, and any loss of public trust in the emergency notification procedure may be disastrous in the event of a major emergency, such as an act of terrorism or war, which in these uncertain times is sadly possible.

Keeley Cavendish Dulwich, London

Quentin Letts asked in last Sunday's paper: 'Where were you when the balloon went up on Friday evening?' Well, I was in my bathroom and could have had an embarrassing moment when my phone sounded like it had sparks flying from it. Instead, I

Veterans need protection

Thank you for sharing the plight of veterans faced with the Government's plans to revise the Northern Ireland Troubles Bill. Many have been hounded by investigators for doing their jobs. I fear for them, and their families, if they are not protected from prosecution. I pray for peace and healing for all, not least

thought the battery in my hearing aid had had a meltdown. An air raid alert is important and necessary; one about using single-use barbecues isn't.

Paul Bartlett Stony Stratford, Buckinghamshire

There was a touch of irony in your reporting of the alert about the danger of starting wildfires. You also showed a photograph of a National Trust countryside ranger 'sterily reminding' a gentleman of the dangers of using an open-flame stove. So perhaps the national alert on Friday was justified, after all?

Steve Parry Llanwern, South Wales

The Government should go further than temporarily banning disposable barbecues; they should

those drawn into the 'Troubles'. Canon Alan Hughes Berwick-upon-Tweed

Maybe lawyers should accompany Special Forces on missions to decide if there are legal issues with what's going on? Charles Lowson Fareham, Hampshire

ban them permanently, and also fires lit on green-belt land. J. McKie Gateshead

It is not uncommon to see weeds and rough grass virtually everywhere these days. Letting land grow wild seems to be very popular with councils, and some farmers are encouraged to do so. These areas are very much at risk of catching fire, as we have seen recently, and some unfortunate people have even lost their homes.

Many wildfires are started deliberately and there must be better laws in place to deter those who do not care about communities and home owners.

Common sense needs to prevail to protect all communities.

Jerry Scott Middlewich, Cheshire

Post Office owes Roopie so much

The sub-postmaster scandal left a terrible stain on the Post Office and those who, disgustingly and falsely, vilified dozens of hard-working postmasters and postmistresses. Astonishingly, one of those falsely accused of theft, Roopie Gill, above – who you spoke to last Sunday on her return to her post office – has still not had any compensation 15 long and painful years after her ordeal.

She lost her income and her house, and her husband died tragically whilst struggling to grasp what was happening. Her family's reputation was trashed for several years, so the absolute minimum Roopie should have expected was a

huge, and rapid, compensation package, plus a grovelling apology to end all apologies.

Oscar Coops, St Albans

After reading of the plight of Roopie Gill, not only am I horrified, but ask why heads have not rolled nor compensation been paid. At the same time, we are willing to send £150million to Pakistan.

Ifor Lloyd, Ceredigion

The Government is £3trillion in debt, which means that the sub-postmasters will never receive what they are due. This is the greatest miscarriage of justice in the last 30 years.

Jeffrey Grubb Braintree, Essex

Hear our views on migrants

Your editorial last Sunday – 'Listen to the public, Mr Burnham, and stop the small boats coming' – hit the nail on its head. Andy Burnham's predecessor promised to stop the boats and failed, and we know what happened to him less than half way through his premiership.

Alan Ward Sleaford, Lincolnshire

Further to the letter last Sunday asking why the Royal Navy can't process asylum seekers at sea, why not use one of our underperforming aircraft carriers? Hollow it out for its parts and aircraft, then use it as a vast processing centre.

Michael Lynehean Wallasey, Wirral

LETTER OF THE WEEK

PSA tests should be on demand

David Cameron is right to bring to our attention the decision to stop prostate cancer tests on request. As you reported last Sunday, he said that this will lead to more deaths.

Mr Cameron himself discovered that he had prostate cancer only when he was treated early, after he had asked for a PSA test.

Prostate cancer runs in my family, and even though doctors

know this, they still say 'Come back when you're 50' to some of my male relatives.

My three brothers have all had prostate cancer.

Two were treated successfully, one was attended to when it was too late.

My father and two male cousins have also had it.

The brother who died made me promise on his deathbed that I would urge my three sons to

have regular tests. One son lives in New Zealand and has no problem getting a yearly test.

My other two boys have trouble each time they ask, depending upon which doctor they see at their local surgeries.

We used to have the best health care in the world. But gradually the NHS is crumbling.

What have we become?

Daisy David New Barnet, Hertfordshire

Leave the animals be

I am not impressed with the discovery in China that deer antlers could hold the secret to helping broken bones heal more quickly, which you reported on last Sunday. When mice with fractured limbs were injected with the polypeptides from the antlers, they repaired themselves. But we should not be testing on animals at all. We

are humans, and should test on humans alone.

G. Cooper Finsbury Park, London

Faking it...

I smiled when I heard about the bogus chief of staff purporting to represent Donald Trump who made a phone call to

Andy Burnham. In 1982 a mate and I tried to call Margaret Thatcher to congratulate her on winning the Falklands War, never believing we would get through. We went through several operators at No10, each time using an important-sounding voice (as best we knew how). But all the while we gave my real name. I nearly fell off my chair when she came on the line, sounding bemused.

Peter D. Mitchell, Worthing

PRIZE LETTER

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A lawsuit for a seat

I may be able to help explain the absence of chairs in shops to your letter writer last Sunday. I used to have a few tall stools in my record shop for customers to sit on while browsing. The landlord's insurers conducting a health and safety visit instructed me to remove them – in case someone fell off or over one and sued!

Duncan Barnes Carshalton, Surrey

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76

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AUGUST 25 • 2026 The Mail on Sunday

77

Financial

MAIL ON SUNDAY

Boss of Welsh tech gem is taking on the big boys

INTERVIEW

Page 80

British cement firms

'are facing extinction'

Bosses warn cheap imports will bury the sector – and call for an urgent tax to level the playing field

BRITAIN'S cement industry is facing extinction if the Government does not act within the next few months to prevent the sector being buried by cheap imports, business leaders have warned.

The firms, which employ 89,000 people and are part of a UK mineral sector worth £6.7 billion a year, want ministers to level the playing field by taxing imported cement at the same levels as that produced domestically.

The Government is consulting on doing this under a system known as the Carbon Border Adjustment Mechanism (CBAM) – but details are still under discussion despite a pledge to bring it in by January 1, 2027. At present, British firms are subject to green taxes as they use large amounts of energy.

Foreign producers face no such levies, leaving UK cement firms at a disadvantage as they also battle soaring energy costs and other taxes.

As a result, imported cement soared to 32 per cent of the market last year against just 12 per cent in 2006. Meanwhile, domestic production has fallen to 7.3 million tons a year, its lowest since 1950 and down from a peak of 20 million tons in the 1970s.

Bosses have called on the Government to reverse this decline, arguing a reliable supply is crucial to Labour's plan to build 1.5 million houses and projects such as the HS2 rail line.

They added that relying on foreign imports puts this at risk because cement is bulky and difficult to transport across the sea.

Last week, industry chiefs said they had received a 'supportive' letter from Business Secretary Jonathan Reynolds, but added it contained no firm commitment on when the Government would

By Richard Marsden

implement CBAM levies on imports. Rob Wood, head of Breedon, which runs Britain's biggest cement works at Hope, Derbyshire, said: 'We need the CBAM at the start of next year. The EU has one, we don't. Without that level playing field, there won't be a domestic industry.'

Reynolds recognised the industry was 'crucial to delivering new homes and nationally significant infrastructure projects'.

He confirmed a timescale for how the CBAM would be implemented on imports – with details to be 'set out in the autumn', adding: 'In addition, secondary leg-

CBAM is complex, but solutions are what government is for.'

Cement bosses are also calling for a new 'stimulus' to boost business – such as large-scale public construction projects.

Wood said cement had also been hit by high energy costs, as well as National Insurance hikes brought in by the previous Chancellor Rachel Reeves. He added: 'Without a strong domestic cement business, building anything would be compromised.'

James Brotherton, Breedon's chief financial officer, said: 'If the last couple of years have taught us anything, overreliance on imports can be a big mistake.'

Wood contrasted investment by his firm with inaction by

Whitehall Breedon has spent £150 million at Hope since taking over in 2016, – £26.5 million to handle alternative fuels such as shredded tyres and waste, reducing the coal burnt in its

two kilns, where 29-metre flames heat raw materials to 1,450C.

'We've put our money where our mouth is,' Wood said, pointing to civil service dithering.

The cement sector's issues are similar to those facing steel.

The Government said: 'We recognise the challenges, which is why our Supercharger scheme is cutting electricity costs for hundreds of our most electricity-intensive businesses, including Breedon. CBAM will ensure highly traded, carbon-intensive imported goods face a comparable carbon price to that paid by British companies producing the same goods, and we are focused on ensuring it is in place for January 2027.'

Shareholders board Labour's gravy train

Page 79

islation confirming details on monitoring, reporting and verification of emissions will follow in due course, with comprehensive guidance for businesses to be published later in the year.'

He said the Government also plans a review of 'eligibility criteria' for the Energy-Intensive Industries Compensation Scheme to help UK firms cover the cost of reducing emissions.

But Wood said: 'The industry is on its knees. The Government has committed to a CBAM by the end of the year and now needs to deliver on its commitment.'

Tory MP John Cooper said: 'It seems crazy to shoot ourselves in the foot allowing cement production to be outsourced. The

Whisky plugs Diageo's pension black hole

LIQUID ASSETS: Singer Sabrina Carpenter advertising Johnnie Walker whisky

IT WAS one of the more innovative ways to plug a hole in the pension fund. Back in 2010, drinks giant Diageo came up with a radical plan to fill an £862 million shortfall in its retirement scheme with millions of barrels of maturing whisky.

Under the 15-year deal, which was extended to 2030, whisky

By Patrick Tooher

stocks from distilleries across Scotland were transferred to the Diageo pension fund. These included single malts from famous distilleries such as Talisker on the Turn to Page 79

Follow us on X @Cal_Muirhead @PatrickTooher @RMarsden_Journo @AnneAshworth

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78

Bonds are the new battleground

IT HAS been another week of tension on the bond markets. But bonds – fixed-interest securities – never get the same amount of attention as shares.

Moderna's shares nearly doubling because of a drug trial success is a more read-me story than our government having to borrow at over 5 per cent for ten years.

But in any rational sense, the latter of those two events that occurred last week matters more.

Moderna shares are still at less than half their price in 2021 when its pioneering Covid-19 jab was released. However, our poor old government paid the highest rate on a ten-year gift issue since 2007.

Most people will be aware that, despite some pullback in high-tech values, US shares are close to all-time highs and we're not far from that in the UK. But unless you follow the markets regularly, you probably are not aware that there has been a total bloodbath in long-dated bonds.

Take 30-year gifts – UK government bonds. They are yielding 5.8

per cent – the highest since 1998. If you were unfortunate enough to buy them back in 2020, when they were yielding less than 1 per cent, you would have lost two-thirds of your money as the yield varies inversely to their value.

And their value has plunged as the Government racks up debt. So much for the idea that bonds are safe and stocks are risky.

This surge in yields has caused consternation in official circles. We can't do anything in the UK because our government is not held in high esteem among global investors. But the US is trying to squeeze down the cost of borrowing at the long end.

On Wednesday US Treasury secretary Scott Bessent intervened in the markets, buying 30-year US debt to push its price up and the

yield down. It was a surprise and worked for a bit, but by Friday, yields were pretty much back where they were at the start of the week. At over 5.25 per cent, that's the highest since 2007.

There's a lesson here. Intervention in the markets by governments or central banks usually doesn't work. Governments can buy back debt, but where does the money to do so come from?

The US Treasury has some cash balances, but ultimately will have to borrow in one way or another, presumably by issuing more three-month or six-month debt.

There have been times when intervention has been a success, usually on the foreign exchanges. The best example is 1985, when the dollar was soaring against other currencies, making American goods too costly and leading to a huge US trade deficit, especially with Japan and Germany.

Central bank governors from the US, UK, Japan, France and West Germany met in New York's Plaza Hotel, agreed the dollar was too high and intervened in

the markets, selling dollars and buying the other currencies to push it down. It was a total surprise. The dollar fell, the mark and the yen climbed, and the threat of a trade war was averted.

With hindsight, it mainly worked because the markets already believed the dollar was riding for a fall. The timing was brilliant,

'I back the markets. Yields will rise by quite a bit'

but the move just reinforced what would have happened anyway.

The best example of intervention not working? I'm afraid it was the futile defence of sterling in 1992 before it was kicked out of the European Exchange Rate Mechanism. We spent billions of our gold and foreign exchange reserves trying to keep sterling linked to the German mark,

French franc and so on. George Soros, 'the man who broke the Bank of England', was one of the main beneficiaries, making £1 billion betting against the pound.

Ultimately, what would surely bring down bond yields would be a combination of governments cutting their deficits and the central banks getting inflation down. Neither looks likely right now.

There's huge pressure to raise money from the private sector to fund the data centres that will drive the artificial intelligence revolution, and that has clashed with governments around the world having to find more money for everything from funding services for their ageing populations to rebuilding their military.

As for inflation, the pressure there is rising too. I think we're in the early stages of a big battle between governments desperate to raise funds and investors ever more sceptical of their ability to control spending and cut deficits.

I back the markets. Expect bond yields to rise quite a lot further before they come back down.

Rich pay up to £40,000 a week to dodge taxes

By Anne Ashworth

LONDON'S ultra-rich are forking out as much as £40,000 a week for rental properties in the capital as steep stamp duty bills and fears of more punitive property taxes in the Autumn Budget put many off buying.

'Frenz Abrahamson, boss of estate agent Glenree, said fear of higher levies was fuelling the rise of exorbitant rents, adding: 'We are agreeing deals on apartments and houses at £17,000 to £40,000 a week.'

'Many would rather own a home, but overseas buyers face stamp duty rates of as high as 19 per cent.'

Becky Fatemi, of Sotheby's International Realty, said speculation over what could be coming in autumn had been 'often more damaging to a property market than the tax itself', adding: 'In London, we have been seeing buyers and sellers hesitate because they simply don't know what the next fiscal announcement might mean for them.'

Stamp duty on a £20 million property for an overseas buyer acquiring a second home is £3.7 million, enough to fund two years of £40,000-a-week rent. A domestic buyer faces a £2.3 million bill – which would fund more than two and a half years of £17,000-a-week rent.

Stamp duty bills and mansion taxes have been blamed for a sharp fall in house prices of up to 25 per cent in some of the UK's richest neighbourhoods.

Harvey Nichols suppliers fear being 'screwed' by Mike Ashley's takeover

By Anne Ashworth

CLOTHING brands are increasingly 'cautious' of dealing with Harvey Nichols after its takeover by Mike Ashley's Frasers Group, as they say they could be left out of pocket due to late payments.

One fashion boss, whose clothes were previously stocked by the iconic department store chain, told The Mail on Sunday that many had been stung by the collapse of website Matches Fashion, which the tycoon took over in 2023.

Matches went under the following year owing £210 million to some 541 customers, fashion companies and others.

Among those left out of pocket were Burberry, Gucci, Prada and Swedish name Toteme, which received only pennies on the pound of their debts.

'Frasers screwed so many brands when it abruptly closed Matches. So, I think any brand would be cautious with anyone associated with that group, at the very least requiring stricter payment terms,' the clothing boss said.

Adding to the suspicion is data from late payments tracker PaymentCheck, which recorded that a 'substantial' 34 per cent of payments from Frasers were classified as late, creating 'considerable unpredictability and cash flow risk for suppliers'.

It comes as some of Harvey Nichols' suppliers face hundreds of thousands of pounds of potential losses on their invoices after the store went

FASHION FAUX PAS: Ashley, pictured with his wife Linda and, inset, a Harvey Nichols model

into administration this month, before being snapped up by Frasers in a £40 million deal.

Some of its customers may also struggle to get refunds after the chain closed down its website last week, saying orders placed

before August 13 fell under the former owners and can no longer be processed.

Ashley made a small step last week to mend relationships with the fashion industry. He is paying in full the sums owing to self-employed personal shoppers and stylists who had not been paid for their services by Harvey Nichols.

A few individuals were owed £20,000. The total figure for this payout is in six figures.

The billionaire plans to integrate

the business into Frasers' existing luxury ecosystem, making Harvey Nichols a must-visit shopping and socialising destination for style-conscious women like his interior designer wife Linda, whom he divorced, but with whom he has since reconciled.

There is no comment from Frasers Group, however, as to how Ashley intends to regain the confidence of the suppliers that are also crucial to his ambitions for Harvey Nichols.

---

79

As marmalade-droppers go, it took some beating. News that the Government is to pay two accountancy firms half a billion pounds to train civil servants on skills including how to use artificial intelligence came as a big surprise to Whitehall watchers.

The award of up to £465 million to KPMG and EY – the biggest to any of the big four accountancy firms since at least 2012 – came despite a pledge from Labour when it came to power two years ago to halve spending on consultants that had hit record levels during the pandemic.

But it is not just the bean-counters who are making hay from taxpayer-funded contracts.

Some of Britain's biggest companies are also cashing in on a series of major infrastructure, outsourcing and defence projects funded by the public purse.

With one exception, the ten biggest suppliers to the Government that are listed on the stock market have seen their share prices soar under Labour, an analysis by The Financial Mail on Sunday shows – see table, right.

The biggest winner is construction firm Balfour Beatty, whose shares have more than doubled since July 2024.

Its big contracts include the HS2 high-speed rail project between London and Birmingham, new nuclear power stations at Hinkley Point in Somerset and Szewell in Suffolk, and designing and building the Lower Thames Crossing road scheme between Kent and Essex. Balfour

For taxpayers it is a costly burden, but big public sector infrastructure contracts are proving a winner for Britain's army of shareholders

BY PATRICK TOOHER

Beatty netted £3.1 billion of direct public sector revenue in 2024-25, according to government procurement data provider Tussell – the highest of any supplier.

That is a giant chunk of its total turnover of £10.7 billion, especially given that Balfour Beatty – like many of the state's biggest contractors – also earns substantial sums from its activities abroad, especially in the US.

It's a welcome return to form, as far as shareholders in the FTSE 100 company are concerned.

'Balfour Beatty used to be viewed as a risky contractor with weak cash conversion and a nasty habit of issuing profit warnings,' says Dan Coatsworth, head of markets at broker AJ Bell.

Also enjoying the public spending spree is Kier, a rival builder and another HS2 contractor with £2.4 billion of taxpayer-funded revenues, whose shares have jumped by almost three-quar-

ters in just over two years. Coatsworth noted: 'Kier was dogged by high levels of debt and a muddled business structure.'

But he added: 'Both it and Balfour Beatty have sorted themselves out and that's driven a major share re-rating.'

Kier – which also works on prisons, hospitals and nuclear power stations – recently said that its results would be at the top end of expectations, with 90 per cent of its estimated £4.4 billion of revenues for the year to June 2027 already in the bag.

Defence companies also feature prominently as military spending dramatically increases.

'BAE Systems, Babcock and Serco have all ridden the boom in defence stocks as investors get excited about various governments around the world pledging to spend more money on military and cyber-security capabilities,' Coatsworth said.

The defence trio had combined revenues of £3 billion from UK government contracts in 2024-25, according to Tussell.

The spending spree is set to continue as defence contracts – like much public sector work – tend to be long-term, meaning earnings visibility is high, which is something investors value.

But doubts remain over how Chancellor John Healey, pictured inset, will plug an estimated £3 bil-

BIGGEST PUBLIC SECTOR WINNERS
Company	Direct public sector revenue 2024/25 (£bn)	Share price Since July 5, 2024 (%)
Balfour Beatty	3.3	+£30
Kier	2.4	+74
Mitie	1.5	+78
Bae Systems	1.3	+68
Serco	0.9	+44
Babcock	0.8	+129
Capita	0.7	-32
BT	0.7	+45
Computacenter	0.4	+73
Vodafone	0.2	+73
Source: Tussell and Mail on Sunday analysis.

lion funding gap in the Defence Investment Plan over the next four years – let alone meet its Nato target of spending 3.5 per cent of annual output (or gross domestic product) on the military by 2035.

The boom in AI has turbocharged shares in technology services group Computacenter.

The company, which recently joined the FTSE 100 index of the largest UK stock-market listed companies, helps large organisations such as the police and NHS

to build and run their digital systems. Taken together, shares in the top ten public sector contractors have risen at more than twice the rate of the FTSE 100 since Labour came to power.

'The common theme uniting most of these names is success in convincing the market they're no longer dragging their heels as businesses,' says Coatsworth.

'That's been a massive driver of share price gains since Labour got into power as investors have grown more confident in their earnings outlook, financial position, and strategic potential.'

The only one to miss out on the bonanza is Capita, the outsourcing firm which has become a byword for controversy.

In the latest crisis, its shares crashed by more than a fifth after it revealed the bill for cleaning up the mess at the civil service pension scheme it runs could knock up to £40 million off annual profits.

Thousands of recently retired Government officials have yet to receive their first pension payment, leaving some struggling to pay bills and buy food.

Capita's chief executive, Richard Holroyd, told MPs last month that he had considered resigning over the debacle, which has seen the Government withhold multi-million pound payments from the company because of shortfalls in the service it provides.

Today Capita is in full damage-limitation mode.

'There is no profit motive or profit driver in this,' Holroyd told the Public Accounts Committee.

'We have to rebuild trust. What we are thinking about is reputation across the rest of the business and how we recover here.'

Which just goes to show that not all public sector contracts are a one-way gravy train.

Deficit repaired by millions of barrels of single malt

From Page 77

Isle of Skye and Islay-based Lagavulin. As whisky matures, its value grows, so the scheme had a guaranteed source of income from selling some barrels – plus a valuable, tangible asset from the remaining stock.

Meanwhile, the owner of Guinness and Johnnie Walker whisky cut the amount of cash it needed to put into the scheme to repair the pension fund deficit. The unusual

approach seems to have paid off. The pension scheme is now in surplus – partly because higher interest rates have cut the current cost of future pension payment promises – and Diageo hasn't needed to make contributions to the fund in the past two years.

It means one less headache for new boss Dave Lewis, who is trying to revive the fortunes of the world's largest spirits group after nearly 2,000 jobs were shed last year.

Latest accounts show that the remaining whisky stock is worth almost £550 million.

Diageo can exit the deal in four years' time if there is no deficit in the pension fund.

If it is in the red, the company would have to pay up to £430 million in cash to buy back the remaining barrels from the scheme, depending

on the size of the pension shortfall. Either way, Diageo insisted there would be no impact on the accounts as no off-balance-sheet asset was created under the original deal. So, long-suffering shareholders hoping to raise a glass to some sort of windfall payment if the scheme is in credit will be sorely disappointed.

But equally, Diageo's persistent pension problem will have been solved thanks to more than a few drops of the hard stuff.

---

80

Bank insiders warn AI boom could push up rates

THE rise of artificial intelligence could force interest rates to stay higher for longer as a surge in productivity fuels inflation, Bank of England insiders have warned.

If AI delivers a surge in economic output as new tools allow workers to produce more, it could spark increased spending and investment which would push up prices, according to a post on the central bank's unofficial blog Bank Underground.

'If households and businesses expect productivity to rise in the

By Calum Muirhead

future, they anticipate higher future incomes and profits, which changes behaviour today,' it read.

'They may start spending and investing before those gains actually materialise.

'This creates a scenario where demand rises first while supply takes time to catch up.

'If demand grows faster than supply, inflationary pressures can emerge.' As a result, it said

central banks would need to 'tighten' their monetary policy, which often includes raising interest rates, in order to 'dampen' inflation.

The post's authors, who included Jenny Chan, an adviser to the Bank of England's interest-rate-setting Monetary Policy Committee, highlighted that a similar trend had occurred in the technology boom of the 1990s, when the rise of computer usage boosted productivity but also fuelled demand and tightened

labour markets, pushing up wages and fuelling inflation.

Concerns that the AI boom could potentially fuel a surge in prices came after analysts last week noted that the rising cost of borrowing for some of the world's biggest economies – including the UK and the US – was being exacerbated by companies taking on even more debt as they rushed to build AI capacity and data centres to power their new technology.

Governments have also been

grappling with the fallout from the war in Iran, which has also pushed up borrowing costs as global oil prices have soared.

The surge in borrowing costs presents a fresh headache for new Chancellor John Healey as he draws up plans for his first Budget in October.

UK borrowing costs remain the highest among the G7 group of advanced economies and have shown little sign of improvement since Andy Burnham became Prime Minister a month ago.

INTERVIEW

BY ADAM LUCK

WHEN you walk along the glistening white spaceship-like corridors at IQE's semiconductor factory, you are literally looking into the future. Glance through a window and you will see robotic machines creating the key ingredient of a new generation of computer chips.

These in turn provide the foundation for the artificial intelligence revolution, powering data centres, 5G mobile phone networks, robotics, defence equipment and electric cars.

What is almost as extraordinary is that we are not in Taiwan or China but in Newport, South Wales, and IQE is a British company.

IQE has endured turbulent times in recent years as it burnt through cash and chief executives alike, culminating in a dramatic share price collapse which saw the stock hit a low of just over 5p in October last year.

Against this backdrop, Silicon Valley veteran Jutta Meier could be forgiven for thinking she had been handed a poisoned chalice when she was appointed finance chief of the business, after stints at US chip giant Intel.

The Munich native is typically Germanic in her blunt assessment of the situation: she and then boss Americo Lemos were at loggerheads over how to dig the firm out of its hole. She says: 'Within the next six months, I realised it was either going to be him or me to go.'

When he left in October 2024, she became interim boss, a role made permanent in May last year.

'We were in a dire state at that time. We had £35 million in a

'I jumped for joy and twisted my knee'

revolving credit facility,' she says, 'and took on an additional £18 million loan and all those had to be repaid or refinanced this year.

'It was this vicious cycle. We were financially challenged, didn't get the customers, and that put more strain on our revenue. We were running out of cash. With that hanging over our heads, we had to find a solution.'

Faced with impending financial disaster, Meier embarked on what she called a ruthless programme of 'commercialisation', focusing on what IQE's clients wanted rather than the technology alone.

She also moved to secure the company's shareholder base and prevent what she calls 'opportunistic' investors seizing control of

the business. Meier was wary of those looking to take advantage of the depressed share price to pick up IQE's assets on the cheap.

Her struggle to steady the ship also relied on her skill navigating a traditionally male-dominated sector. Too discreet to name names, Meier says she has met many Silicon Valley titans in her career, and as a woman knows she is judged differently in the sector.

Asked how she 'deals with all the testosterone in the room' she smiles: 'It is very challenging but it is something I address. I have to be vocal and keep fighting.'

'Some investors completely underestimate me. On the latest roadshow in New York, one just looked at me, grilled me for an hour and, once he realised I knew my job, said, 'You should bring a man with better connections'.

'At that point, I blew up, and said 'I can out-connect you better than anyone!' It makes my blood boil.'

IQE's share price under Meier speaks for itself, with the boom in AI driving demand for its technology. With a rueful smile, she says: 'I twisted my knee jumping for joy when they told me that our share price was up to 50p.'

Meier's roadshow tour, sexism notwithstanding, also paid off. In April, IQE announced a successful

fundraising of £81 million and last month she announced revenues for the first half of the year were expected to be at least £64 million, well above previous expectations.

This success is not blind faith but reflects what IQE brings to the market, Meier says. Most computer processors, memory chips and logic chips are made from silicon, but compound semiconductors are made from two or more

ingredients. In essence, it is like comparing simple steel to an alloy.

These can handle faster signals, create and detect light, can handle much higher voltages and temperatures and are far more efficient.

While some of the firm's customers are shrouded in secrecy, it is known that the facial recognition in Apple's iPhones uses IQE tech while the firm also counts $20bil-

lion US components giant Macom among its clients.

Chances are that if you use a 5G mobile network, make video calls, or use Netflix or ChatGPT, you will rely on Macom components, and, by extension, IQE chips.

The firm's products start with compounds such as gallium arsenide or indium phosphide. Inside sealed machines called reactors, gases containing these compounds are heated and are used to build up hundreds of barely visible layers to create incredibly complex wafers on to which microchip circuits are printed, with the chemical recipes constantly changing according to the client and job.

'I thought I knew everything about semiconductors. Little did I know there was this hidden gem in Wales, with compound semiconductor material,' Meier says.

It is now regarded as one of the world's leading companies in compound semiconductor wafers and a unique in its field in the UK.

IQE's origins stretch back to 1998, but it has taken decades for both technology and demand to realise the potential of compound semiconductors. It is an industry that is not for the faint-hearted. It sits not just at the centre of a turbulent new industrial revolution but also the new Cold War. As the

US and China face off, the island nation of Taiwan, which dominates the semiconductor industry, is being menaced by Chinese president Xi Jinping.

If China does invade – or blockade – Taiwan, then IQE will be uniquely positioned. But Meier believes it is already unique.

'We have locations in the UK, as well as US, so we can really mitigate the risks,' she says. 'More and more people are pulling out of Taiwan due to the risk from China.'

'Some investors underestimate me'

We have a really broad portfolio that makes us extremely unique.'

One downside to her success at IQE is that Meier, who has a flat in Cardiff and drives a Mini Cooper to work, finds that time is her most precious resource these days.

'Right now, I don't have time to spend my money,' she says. 'What I value most is time with friends. Time's the most valuable of assets.'

Now it seems that the time may have come for Britain's semiconductor champion – led by a woman not known for half-measures.

FORESIGHT:

Jutta Meier says the firm is standing by if Taiwan is hit by conflict

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RACE

By Sam Turner

ROSSA RYAN and Daiquiri Bay again proved the perfect cocktail at the just teamed up to capture the Sky Bet Ebor at York for trainer Alan King.

Just two months after winning at Royal Ascot, the irresistible combination completed their third victory of the season in the richest handicap run in Europe, landing the £300,000 first prize by a head. In doing so they earned a possible trip to the McDonald Cup in November.

For Ryan, a week of frustration in the Knivesmire was expelled in just three minutes as his partner dug in bravely to repel the challenge of Waltham-owned Alleywood Rock and Opportunity to give King another major success on the Flat.

Twice in Group One races earlier in the week, Ryan had narrowly come up short. He was beaten by a nose aboard Sparan Nua in the Legends Global Yorkshire Oaks before again taking the silver medal in the Cradence Nunthorpe Stakes on Starlust.

Victory is a handicap on Friday gave the 26-year-old pilot some respite from a stream of near

RACE

By Sam Turner

misses and a recent ban which was cut on appeal from 28 days to 10, meaning he was free to partner Daiquiri Bay.

"The only thing I could think of when I was going for the appeal was getting back for this lad and Orthodox in France (Dramatic, 2.5bpm, today)," said Ryan.

"We sat down in the office in April and mapped out a plan to head to Ascot. After Ascot we had a talk about perhaps having another run or perhaps coming straight here.

"After thinking about it, he (Alan King) decided to come straight here. He's a genius and had him spot on for this."

Earlier on the card, Notable

Speech delivered a powerful statement in the second running of the Group One Sky Bet City Of York Stakes.

The 2024 2000 Guineas winner showcased his trademark change of gear despite ground easier than ideal to run out a smooth two-and-three-quarter length winner in the hands of William Black.

It was the five-year-old's sixth victory at the top level and was warmly welcomed by trainer Charlie Appleby. 'I get a hit more emotional with these older horses and he fully deserved that,' said Appleby.

"We came here feeling that the horse was in great order but we

TRIUMPH: Ryan lands £300k prize

were concerned about the ground. When he quickens on quick ground he's got a devastating turn of foot and he's gone and done it.

"His versatility on trips and, now ground, gives us the confidence going into the Breeders' Cup.

"I applaud all the power that win at two and three but when you're still doing it at four and five, I feel you've really got to take your hat off to them."

Dylan Brown McMonagle proved to be the star of the show at the Curragh with a sparkling 723-l five-timer, including a first winner in the Juddmonte silks courtesy of Monogram for trainer Joseph O'Brien.

RACING 81

Saints see

red tit still ease of win

By Nick Metcalfe

ST HELENS kept their faint heart League play-off hopes alive yesterday with a 36-12 win over Castleford.

The Saints claimed victory despite a red card being shown in Jackson's Bulldogs for punching Tyler Dupree just before half-time.

The hosts were 12-0 ahead after eight minutes through Jack Welsby and Shane Wright. Further tries came from Jacob Douglas, Tom Humphreys, Tristan Sailor and Nene Macdonald.

Louis Senior and Phoenix Lando Peppers crowned late on for Castleford to give the scoreline some respectability.

St Helens interim boss Eamon O'Carroll: "The players were fantastic today.

"We simplified a few things, which probably helped, because everyone knew what the role was and their position."

YOUR GUIDE TO TODAY'S RACING, WITH EXPERT TIPS

Brighton

TV: SKY

Principal: Wally & H. H. (1980). Good

TV: 1980. 1st 2nd 3rd 4th 5th 6th 7th 8th 9th 10th 11st 12nd 13rd 14th 15th 16th 17th 18th 19th 20th 21st 22nd 23rd 24th 25th 26th 27th 28th 29th 30th 31st 32nd 33rd 34th 35th 36th 37th 38th 39th 40th 41st 42nd 43rd 44th 45th 46th 47th 48th 49th 50th 51st 52nd 53rd 54th 55th 56th 57th 58th 59th 60th 61st 62nd 63rd 64th 65th 66th 67th 68th 69th 70th 71st 72nd 73rd 74th 75th 76th 77th 78th 79th 80th 81st 82nd 83rd 84th 85th 86th 87th 88th 89th 90th 91st 92nd 93rd 94th 95th 96th 97th 98th 99th 100th

2	AMATON HOGEY® HANDICAP (CLASS 6) 4.2, 2000 (EX.2/4) 2000 (EX.2)
3	125 125 OF CHIKIN (EX.2) 2.5, 2.5, 2.5, 2.5, 2.5, 2.5, 2.5, 2.5, 2.5, 2.5, 2.5, 2.5, 2.5, 2.5, 2.5, 2.5, 2.5, 2.5, 2.5, 2.5, 2
4	125 125 OF CHIKIN (EX.2) 2.5, 2.5, 2.5, 2.5, 2.5, 2.5, 2.5, 2.5, 2.5, 2.5, 2.5, 2.5, 2.5, 2.5, 2.5, 2.5, 2.5
5	125 125 OF CHIKIN (EX.2) 2.5, 2.5, 2.5, 2.5, 2.5, 2.5, 2.5, 2.5, 2.5, 2.5, 2.5, 2.5, 2.5, 2.5, 2.5, 2.5, 2.5, 2
6	125 125 OF CHIKIN (EX.2) 2.5, 2.5, 2.5, 2.5, 2.5, 2.5, 2.5, 2.5, 2.5, 2.5, 2.5, 2.5, 2.5, 2.5, 2.5, 2.5, 2.5, 2.5
7	125 125 OF CHIKIN (EX.2) 2.5, 2.5, 2.5, 2.5, 2.5, 2.5, 2.5, 2.5, 2.5, 2.5, 2.5, 2.5, 2.5, 2.5, 2.5, 2.5, 2.5, 2.5, 2
8	125 125 OF CHIKIN (EX.2) 2.5, 2.5, 2.5, 2.5, 2.5, 2.5, 2.5, 2.5, 2.5, 2.5, 2.5, 2.5, 2.5, 2.5, 2.5, 2.5, 2.5, 2.5, 2

2	50	WESTERN RADIUM STARS (CLASS 4) 4.2, 2000 (3.1-10) (EX.2/4) 2000 (EX.2)
3	125	WESTERN RADIUM STARS (CLASS 4) 4.2, 2000 (3.1-10) (EX.2/4) 2000 (EX.2)
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100	125	WESTERN RADIUM STARS (CLASS 4) 4.2, 2000 (3.1-10) (EX.2/4) 2000 (EX.2)

Brighton TV: SKY

1st Initial Rating: 4.0 (4.0) (4.0) (4.0) (4.0) (4.0) (4.0) (4.0) (4.0) (4.0) (4.0) (4.0) (4.0) (4.0) (4.0) (4.0) (4.0) (4.0) (4.0) (4.0) (4.0) (4.0)

2	50	WESTERN RADIUM STARS (CLASS 4) 4.0, 2000 (EX.2/4) 2000 (EX.2) 2000 (EX.2) 2000 (EX.2) 2000 (EX.2) 2000 (EX.2) 2000 (EX.2) 2000 (EX.2) 2000 (EX.2) 2000 (EX.2) 2000 (EX.2)
3	50	WESTERN RADIUM STARS (CLASS 4) 4.0, 2000 (EX.2/4) 2000 (EX.2) 2000 (EX.2) 2000 (EX.2) 2000 (EX.2) 2000 (EX.2) 2000 (EX.2) 2000 (EX.2) 2000 (EX.2) 2000 (EX.2)

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6	50	WESTERN RADIUM STARS (CLASS 4) 4.0, 2000 (EX.2/4) 2000 (EX.2) 2000 (EX.2) 2000 (EX.2) 2000 (EX.2) 2000 (EX.2) 2000 (EX.2) 2000 (EX.2) 2000 (EX.2)
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122

SPORT

Williams in double act with Alcaraz

SERENA WILLIAMS is set to partner Carlos Alcaraz in the US Open mixed doubles event after being handed a wildcard entry.

Alcaraz had confirmed on Thursday he was set to return to action at Flushing Meadows later this month after being out since April with an ongoing wrist issue.

Williams, 44, made her comeback after a four-year history at Wimbledon in June, but suffered a knee injury before going on to play alongside sister Venus in the doubles at this week's Cincinnati Open, where they lost in the first round.

A statement from the US

TENNIS

Open yesterday read: Serena Williams and Carlos Alcaraz will form a super-star team at the 2026 US Open Mixed Doubles Championship, with the best receiving a wild card into the event.

In another marquee pairing, women's world No 1 Aryna Sakulanka will play alongside Novak Djokovic, while Australian Open champion Elena Rybakina partners Taylor Fritz and Iga Swiatek has teamed up with Casper Ruud.

Defending champions

WILD CARD: Williams returns

Sara Errani and Andrea Vanassie, who are doubles specialists, also received a wildcard into the main draw.

The mixed doubles event runs from tomorrow to Wednesday, with the other US Open competitions starting next Sunday, through to September 13.

All Blacks make

sloppy Boks pay

NEW ZEALAND overcame a tough physical challenge to outscore South Africa five tries to one to win 33-16 at Ellis Park is and go one up in the four-match series.

The All Blacks had been underdogs going into the first international of their eight-match tour but took full advantage of the hosts' numerous handling errors and ill-discipline for a statement victory that ended a 12-match winning streak for the Springlooks.

Will Jordan extended his run as New Zealand's record try-scoreer with a double that book-ended scores from Josh Moorty,

RUOBY UNION

Fabian Holland and Luke Jacobson, Ruben Love was successful with four conversions.

South Africa's try came from Andre Extremelzen, with three penalties and a conversion from Cheslin Kolbe.

'I'm incredibly proud, the score might be convincing but there was nothing in it and it was an absolute arm wrestle,' said winning coach Dave Rennie.

We defended and defended and we were clinical when we got our

WILL POWER: Jordan scores

opportunities. It's a great result for us:

The Springlooks chose a lineout, as they looked to maul over when handed an easy-looking round-minute penalty but botched it.

The next penalty, three minutes later, was then booted over as South Africa took an early lead.

PREMIER LEAGUE

	P	NCAA			BAAF			BAAF			P	P
		M	D	F	M	D	F	M	D	F
Arsenal		1	0	0	1	0	0	0	0	0	1	1
Brentford		1	0	0	1	0	0	0	0	0	1	1
Buenos		1	0	0	2	0	0	0	0	0	1	1
Hull City		1	0	0	2	0	0	0	0	0	1	1
Jewell		1	0	0	1	0	0	0	0	0	1	1
Leeds		1	0	0	0	1	0	0	0	0	1	1
Bransemouth	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0
Alton Hills	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0
Brighton	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0
Chelsea	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0
Fulham	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0
Liverpool	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0
Manchester City	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0
Newcastle City	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0
Sunderland	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0
Walter Forest	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0
Crystal Palace	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0
Manchester Utd	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0
Coventry	1	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	1	1
Tottenham	1	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	1	1

BREWINGD ... (2)	3	TOTTENHAM ... (0)	0
Leeds Parkel 32, Leed 15, Kysech 49			0
FAIRTON ... (1)	2	CRYSTAL PALACE (0)	0
Dorchester Hall 42, Furry 57			0
HOLLY CITY ... (2)	2	MANCHESTER UTD (0)	0
Alton 15, Moody's			0
PSWITCH ... (1)	2	SUNDERLAND ... (1)	1
Greenview 36, Clarke 90		Angola 0
NOTTING FOREST (0)	0	LEEDS ... (0)	0
PARK OF GAMES ... (0)	0	CLAR 98

TUESDAY

2) All-ukwine shared

TODAY — Premier League: Brighton + Alcoh Hills (2-3), Lee on Sky Sports Premier League: War City + WC Bransemouth (2-2), Lee on Sky Sports Main Event, Newcastle + Liverpool (4-3), Lee on Sky Sports Main Event, Sky Net Championship West Event + Berring (5-2), Lee on Sky Sports Main Event.

TOMORROW — Premier League: Fulham + Chelsea (0-0), Lee on Sky Sports Main Event.

---

taketimetothink.co.uk

11 TAKE TIME TO THINK

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Max stake varies - see betslip for details. Further T&Cs apply.

---

84 CRICKET

Headingley is England's Gabba, so why axe it from Ashes?

By Richard Gibson

AT HEADINGLEY

AS ENGLAND celebrated their historic Headingley success, the absence of Test cricket here next summer made less and less sense. The home of Graves. It certainly has been for opposition. Imagine Australia leaving the Gabbatoir off their Ashes roster.

Pat Cummins and Co will no doubt be delighted by the ECB's scheduling, omitting a venue which has now delivered seven straight wins, England's best ever sequence anywhere, and venturing only halfway up the M1 during the series.

This is a ground of iconic images: the 500-1 odds of an England win displayed on its primeval scoreboard in 1981; Ian Botham hoisted on to supporters' shoulders once those odds had been overcome; the raising of the Western Terrace in unison as Ben Stokes — who yesterday called the decision to leave Headingley off next year's rota as 'shambolic' — struck the winning runs in 2019; play suspended as the mob descended on Geoffrey Boycott for registering his 100th first-class hundred.

The sawn-in-half ball that Ollie Robinson pulled from his pocket during the innings win over Pakistan this week will not occupy the same echelon within the sporting memory banks, but it was nevertheless an indication that in Leeds things are rarely run of the mill.

England's super septet includes two wins over Australia and two over India, justifying its reputation as our own version of Brisbane's Gabba, traditionally chosen to host the first match of a series Down Under in a bid to get the hosts off to the perfect start.

Some of the credit for the winning formula must go to groundsman Richie Robinson, who has produced the best pitches in the country. Of pace and bounce, providing value for shots to batsmen — the large square and unique slope from the Kirkstall Lane end help in this regard — and ensuring catches behind the wicket carry when bowlers find the edge.

Against Pakistan, it allowed England to both score quickly (run rate 4.55) and make early inroads with the ball. The Pakistanis lost two wickets in the opening

It's not so grim by north

five overs of each innings. It was less evident this year, but there is also a hostility for tourists to deal with.

'Long may it continue, it's always great here. The crowd are brilliant.

You get the West Stand, which is super exciting and supporting when we're playing well and they are enjoying it,' said England interim coach Marcus Trescothick.

'It is a ground the team always enjoy coming to because of the noise it creates. We've seen some amazing moments, none better than Ben Stokes, to hear the support that generates. Once the crowd get going and they get a bit aggro, that really helps the team.'

After beginning his second spell as Test captain with an England-high 28th win, Joe Root concurred, saying: 'I would love to play as many games as possible here. It's a great Test match venue, a surface

that provides brilliant Test cricket, and one we've had quite a lot of success on. It's a shame we don't get to play here next year, but I'm sure we will see many, many more brilliant Tests here.'

Not for a few years, Yorkshire are sore about missing out on the ECB's Test allocation for 2027 and 2028, and have good reason, given the county's prominence. It is not only the most successful in terms of Championship titles, it has produced the most England cricketers and is home to more recreational cricket than any other.

It should not be forgotten that Colin Graves, Yorkshire's chairman, did not put up a fight for 2013 and 2015 Ashes Tests during his previous tenure, fearful that the financial risk in the previous bidding system was not worth the potential reward. But this latest absence is part of a wider disconnect at a time when traditional supporters are already feeling disenfranchised by the Hundred.

England teams of recent vintage have retained a northern soul. The last five players to win 100 Test caps have been James Anderson, Joe Root, Ben Stokes, Jonny Bairstow and Stuart Broad, a Midlander by birth with Lancastrian roots courtesy of his mum Carole.

By contrast, the last of nine Hampshire-born players to represent England in Tests was Chris Tremlett, 13 years ago. Not a return commensurate with the award of an Ashes fixture to Southampton, although few in the game dispute a debt is owed to Hampshire for keeping the lights on during the Covid 2020 lockdown.

This is payback, but Lancashire might argue they also should have received more, given an equally prominent role that summer.

England's reign as kings of the North pre-dates this. It is seven years since England lost in either Leeds or Manchester. But cricket in this country, it seems, is no longer a results-driven business.

BRITS ABROAD: Norris (left) and Russell share the spotlight after qualifying

Norris grabs pole again

LANDO NORRIS wears No1 on his back and on his car, but it has not seemed that way as often as he would have liked during his title defence.

Yet it is from that position he will start today's Dutch Grand Prix, just as he did in Budapest three weeks ago, when he won. All of which are signs that his McLaren team might be on a march after upgrades that are confounding a lack of early-season form.

This time, as spits and spots of rain hit the resort of Zandvoort, a 30-minute rail ride from Amsterdam, the world champion secured

FORMULA ONE

By Jonathan McEvoy

AT ZANDVOORT

his excellent pole one 10th of a second ahead of his compatriot, George Russell.

It was, however, a seriously encouraging day for Russell on Formula One's resumption after the summer break and a number of bumps for him and his lofty expectations of title glory.

He, unlike Norris — who is 90 points off the top of the standings

— is still contending towards the front of the world championship reckoning. And his hopes were first rejuvenated earlier in the afternoon when he won the sprint race from pole position in a procession he dominated clinically.

Points in the sprint are meagre, though. So, by finishing ahead of his Mercedes team-mate, Kimi Antonelli, who came fourth, Russell only narrowed his deficit to him from 59 points to 56. Big deal, you might say. But it was a major psychological leap when he most needed it.

And that was before he qualified

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CHAMPIONSHIP

85

WANTED: Mike Hussey

Trescothick's England job under threat

By Richard Gibson

MARCUS TRESCOTHICK admits he faces an uncertain future at England, with new coach Stephen Fleming keen to add Aussie legend Mike Hussey to his staff.

Trescothick is acting as England's interim head coach for the Pakistan series with Fleming not set to begin work here until next month.

The 50-year-old has been around the set-up since 2021 and was in regular contact with Fleming both in the build-up and during the innings win for Joe Root's team in Leeds this week.

However, Fleming is known to be keen on adding Hussey and Simons, his bowling and batting coaches at Chennai Super Kings respectively.

'I'd love to carry on, of course. We've been involved in both formats of the game for a good period of time and had good success and plenty of challenges along the way,' Trescothick said.

'Whatever that brings, really — first and foremost, I want to be involved in all formats of the game because it's a wonderful place to be.

'Working with the best and seeing England cricketers do well. That's not really for me to judge so I'll wait and see what happens.'

Although Trescothick worked across all senior teams under Brendon McCullum, it is possible that he will now specialise in limited overs going forwards.

West Ham

Area 76

Charlton

Jones 7, Campbell 56

By David Kent

NUNO ESPIRITO SANTO apologised to West Ham fans as his side were defeated by Charlton in a pulsating London derby after missing a penalty.

Lloyd Jones and Tyreece Campbell had the visitors 2-0 after 56 minutes before Joel Piroe scored to set up a frantic finish. Taty Castellanos then missed a stoppage-time penalty, which might have salvaged a point.

'It's disappointing but it's us who failed today,' said Nuno. 'We failed the fans, we should apologise.'

The Hammers, who handed debuts to Piroe and Arne Engels, did not force goalkeeper Arthur Okonkwo, put straight into the Charlton side after joining on loan from Wrexham on Thursday, to make a strenuous save in the first half.

The south-east Londoners, who are now joint-top, took the lead in the seventh minute.

Sonny Carey's long throw was controlled on the chest by skipper Jones, who then produced an overhead finish past keeper Mads Hermansen.

It could have got worse for West Ham, with Miles Leaburn clipping the crossbar in the 19th minute. The counter-attack was sparked by Campbell dispossessing Kyle Walker-Peters.

Charlton eventually doubled their advantage in the second half. Konstantinos Mavropanos lost possession under pressure from Leaburn and Campbell finished clinically across Hermansen and into the bottom right corner.

Okonkwo was finally called into serious action on the hour mark with a one-handed save to keep out Piroe's shot from the edge of the penalty area.

Castellanos headed just wide of the post from another quality Scarles delivery.

West Ham hit back in the 74th minute as Piroe slammed the ball home after Okonkwo had parried a shot.

Okonkwo then produced a tremendous tip over to frustrate Hammers substitute Divine

Nuno: We failed Hammers fans

Mukasa, who joined on loan from Manchester City earlier this week.

The Hammers were given a lifeline in stoppage time after Conor Coventry handled, but Castellanos's

spot-kick hit the post. Nuno felt his side lacked a cutting edge. 'I didn't know the number of shots [we had] but we created a lot of situations but weren't able to take them,' he said.

'We have to recover the boys and prepare for Tuesday for the Carabao

Cup (at Southampton) and go again. There is a long way to go. We have to remain positive and believe that we're going to achieve what we want.'

MILLWALL boss Alex Neil described his side's 3-0 win over 10-man Norwich as the 'most complete performance' since he arrived at the club.

Neil's side dominated proceedings at The Den and took a deserved lead after 18 minutes when Tairyk Arconte reacted quickest after Josh Coburn's effort was parried by Vladan Kovacevic.

Arconte scored his second in the 58th minute after Jake Cooper nodded down a cross from a quickly taken free-kick.

The game was up for the Canaries when Jose Cordoba saw red for

a second yellow just past the hour, and substitute Jake Cundle added a late third for the hosts.

'It was a terrific performance from us, arguably the most complete performance since I've been here,' said Neil, whose side are joint top of the table after two games. 'Norwich are a good side. We were better in every facet of the game.'

Elsewhere, Fer Lopez was the Wolves hero as they won 3-1 at Preston, their first away league victory in 489 days.

Lopez, a £19million arrival from Celta Vigo last summer, found the net either side of Adam Armstrong's goal.

Jordan Thompson netted a consolation in injury time with a well-placed strike from outside the area.

as Russell revives hopes of catching Kimi

a place above Antonelli, the Italian wonderkid who is in serious danger of upsetting what was meant to be Russell's season of fulfilment.

Clearly relieved post-qualifying, Russell said: 'The truth is Kimi has been doing an amazing job. We have different driving styles. It is working well for him and these tyres.

'I'm trying to implement something similar into my driving style. It is like changing your golf swing. You will probably take half a step back first before making improvements.

'The break allowed me to put my learning to the back of my mind, not fixating on what I want to achieve with the car, but still knowing what I need to do and driving more freely.

'In tennis, the racket is basically the same. The lines are always the same distance apart. This isn't the way it is in Formula One, so I am pleased with how I have managed to adjust to this year's regulations. 'I feel very confident going into the race.'

Antonelli registered Russell's green shoots of revival, however tentative they might be for now. 'It

was a very good wake-up call today,' admitted the 19-year-old. 'You can never lower your guard.'

Norris, who had been downbeat after the sprint, in which he finished third, said: 'A good turna-

round from earlier today, where I felt we struggled. Credit to the team, they did a good job.

'We had to try something because what we had before wasn't going to be enough. We made some small changes. Enough to give me more confidence.

'And on a track like Zandvoort you need confidence. You want to attack a lot and I felt I could do that more, so it paid off.'

Lewis Hamilton qualified fifth for Ferrari, a place behind Norris's team-mate Oscar Piastri. He never quite seemed in the frame for pole.

Dutch Grand Prix

GRID POSITION

1	Lando Norris	1min 11.163secs
2	George Russell	+0.102
3	Kimi Antonelli	+0.133
4	Oscar Piastri	+0.142
5	Lewis Hamilton	+0.331
6	Charles Leclerc	+0.395

DRIVERS' TITLE RACE

1	Kimi Antonelli	(Mercedes)	224pts
2	Lewis Hamilton	(Ferrari)	171pts
3	George Russell	(Mercedes)	168pts
4	Charles Leclerc	(Ferrari)	145pts
5	Lando Norris	(McLaren)	134pts
6	Max Verstappen	(Red Bull)	112pts

TODAY 2pm: Race live (Sky Sports F1). 6.30pm: Highlights (Channel 4)

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86 PREMIER LEAGUE

EXCLUSIVE

By Matt Barlow

JACK Hinshelwood's season ended with a flourish. There were the three goals in as many games as Brighton qualified for Europe and a distinct feeling there were more where those came from.

Hinshelwood, having broken into the team at full back and then played deep in midfield, has thrived as a high-energy No 10 in Fabian Hurzeler's side, forcing errors from those trying to pass out from defence and latching on to crosses to threaten the goal.

Thomas Tuchel liked what he saw and selected the 21-year-old in England's 55-man longlist for the World Cup. Wealthy Premier League rivals monitored his accelerated progress, too.

Summer speculation about interest from Arsenal sparked flattering online comparisons to David Platt, the former England captain with a reputation for scoring goals from midfield.

'If I'm going to play in this higher position, I want to start scoring a few more goals,' Hinshelwood tells Daily Mail Sport. 'I scored four last season but could have had 15, so I'm working hard to turn good positioning into more goals and assists. I want to score 10-plus if we're going to play 50-60 games.'

'There's a lot to play for this season. We're in the Conference League, which is a massive target for us. We want to do well in Europe. We'll be better prepared than two years ago. We want to go as far as we can, like in every competition.'

Hinshelwood discusses his ambitions under the critical gaze of his father Adam, a former Brighton player now manager of Worthing in the National League, and his great-uncle Martin, who has served Brighton in several coaching roles, including manager and director of football, and still scouts for the club.

For all his confidence, Jack qualifies everything with regular promises not to look 'too far ahead' and to 'focus on Brighton' and let the rest take care of itself. His family background guards naturally against the dangers of getting carried away.

'He'll get told off by the rest of us if he does,' teases Martin, but his expert eye tells him his great-nephew has the attributes required to turn this excellent start into an elite career.

'You're in a learning curve and it's a massive bonus if you can play in different areas of the pitch with the ability and the will to play there, because I know some players will go, 'What are you playing me there for? I don't want to play there. I want to play in this position'.'

Martin expects Jack will eventually settle into central midfield. 'His awareness is his big asset,' says the 73-year-old. 'He knows where he is on the pitch and where others are. He sees things and

We tell him off if he gets too carried away with himself.

Three generations of Hinshelwoods have served the Seagulls — and young star Jack is thriving in the family business

does things early. He's just an intelligent footballer, probably more intelligent than any of the rest of us who have played.'

Three generations of the Hinshelwood family are together at Brighton Museum and Art Gallery for the opening of a permanent exhibition tracing the history of the club, and especially its revival since the closure of the Goldstone Ground amid fears of liquidation in 1997, from exile in Gillingham to success in the Premier League.

'The journey has been incredible,' says Jack, whose introduction came as an infant at the Withdean athletics complex, where Brighton played home games after returning to the city in 1999. His father was in the team.

LIKEWISE, Adam's early recollections include splashing around with his cousins in the huge communal baths inside the Goldstone dressing rooms when Martin worked on the staff. And later as ball boy at the Withdean as the team began their climb back to the top.

'There was a buzz when the team came back to play in Brighton,' says Adam, 42. 'And there were back-to-back promotions and before you knew it the Withdean was a Championship ground hosting some big teams.'

'It was layered differently to normal grounds. The players' lounge was a nursery by day and there was a pub literally inside the ground. Now they're building a pub inside the Amex, so it'll bring some history back.'

The Hinshelwoods are woven into the club's fabric.

Adam, the son of Crystal Palace

MARTIN HINSHELWOOD GREAT UNCLE, COACH

JACK HINSHELWOOD SON, MIDFIELDER

legend Paul, was thrust into the Brighton first team at the age of 18, making his debut on the opening day of the 2002-03 campaign when his uncle Martin was manager.

He was voted man of the match in a win at Burnley and then

dropped for the next game. There was a call-up by England Under 21s but no cap before his progress was halted by a serious knee injury and he retired by the age of 26.

'My career was similar to Martin's,' says Adam. 'Dad would

always tell me how good Martin was as a central midfielder who could do everything: score goals, create goals and stop goals.'

'His career was cut short and he got into coaching and management, and I've been lucky to do the

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87

same. That's why I've told Jack to do his coaching badges. He's working towards his UEFA B licence. Martin and Paul were sons of Wally Hinshelwood, who played for seven clubs, most notably Reading and Bristol City in the 1950s.

They both graduated from the youth ranks at Crystal Palace in an exciting era when Malcolm Allison and Terry Venables were in charge at Selhurst Park. Martin's playing career was curtailed by injury at the age of 24.

Paul went on to make 319 appearances over 10 years at Palace, mostly as a right back despite starting out as a striker.

'Paul had that attitude,' recalls Martin. 'He was a striker who scored lots of goals and when they put him at right back he wasn't too keen, but he worked hard and played for England Under-21s.'

ONE of his two Under-21 caps came at the Goldstone, where his every touch was booed by a partisan Brighton crowd on a night when local hero Peter Ward scored three in a 6-0 win against Norway.

'There's no magic to it,' says Martin, as he tries to explain the dynasty with a story about his father's matter-of-fact reaction to his release by Fulham at the age of 15.

'I came all the way home from Putney on my own. Train, bus, in through the front door and he went, 'Are they taking you as an apprentice, then?' I said, 'No'. And he said, 'You're probably not good enough'. Then you think, 'Well, I'll show you'.

'My parents helped us but always left a bit there to say, 'Go on, you need to do more'. That's how it's got to be or you can have a problem. I had that as a kid and Adam had that with his dad as well.

'They'd always find something in

the game and go, 'Hey, remember that?'. You might have had a blinder, but they'd forget all the good things and remind you about that one thing. It's just to keep your feet on the ground and keep you wanting to improve.'

As coaches with family in football, Martin and Adam find themselves doing the same thing.

'My youngest son is 11 and he probably gets it a lot easier than Jack did,' says Adam. 'When I started, I had my uncle coaching at Brighton and he'd shout, 'Hinsh, you all right?' and I'd say, 'Yeah', and he'd say, 'Liven up then'. That would get to me every time.'

Jack has no complaints about the extra scrutiny. 'None of us are comfortable with what we've got,' he says. 'Like Dad in his coaching, he's doing really well but we all want more. It never stops.'

'And probably it means we don't enjoy it sometimes as we should, but we always just want more.'

Brighton's season began with a 0-0 Conference League play-off draw at Tromso in Norway on Thursday. They host Aston Villa in the Premier League today.

Brighton v Aston Villa

2pm, Sky Sports

Mateta's contract chaos

By Simon Jones

JEAN-PHILIPPE MATETA is arguing that the final months of his Crystal Palace contract are invalid and has taken his challenge to FIFA.

Palace activated the option year in Mateta's contract in 2024 and his current deal is due to expire at the end of this season.

But the 29-year-old is arguing that the contract should be void and that he should have been a free agent this summer.

Mateta's case was heard by an independent tribunal under the Premier League's rules and he subsequently went to FIFA, but they ruled earlier this week that overruling the contract is not within their jurisdiction.

Palace this week rebuffed an enquiry from Aston Villa for Mateta and more clubs are expected to try in the final days of the window.

Mateta, who started Palace's Premier League opener at Everton yesterday, signed for the club from Mainz 05, initially on an 18-month loan.

He signed a four-and-a-half-year contract when joining permanently in January 2022, in a deal that also included the option of a 12-month extension.

Stay away, Concacaf tell Gianni

By Michael Pavitt

THE under-pressure FIFA president Gianni Infantino was asked to stay away from a youth tournament in the Caribbean after being told his presence would 'undermine' the event.

According to reports, Concacaf president Victor Montagliani told Infantino to reconsider attending the Caribbean Football Union's Under-14 Series event.

The letter from Montagliani, who is also a FIFA vice-president, comes with Infantino still coming under fire over his now scrapped plans to sell off stakes in the World Cup.

'The media will focus on this situation, which will unfortunately significantly take away from the technical nature of the CFU youth competition,' Montagliani wrote.

'As such, I respectfully ask you in the name of football to reconsider your attendance as it will unfortunately undermine the technical nature of this important youth development activity.'

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88

PREMIER & LEAGUE

By Riaith Al-Samarrai

IT'S not ideal, right? An inexperienced manager, a squad stripped of its best players and Liverpool are first up. Those attached to Newcastle United would be forgiven some apprehension over where this fresh start might lead.

But that's a tricky one to predict, because how far ahead do you want to look? Or, framed differently, how far must you travel to understand the consequences for Saudi assets that don't deliver?

One answer is particularly terrifying and timely and can be found across the Atlantic. Around the point when Newcastle and Liverpool finish up tonight, a golf tournament will also be winding down in Indianapolis. But not just a tournament — quite possibly an entire league, concept and dream, too.

And that's because we're talking about LIV and the distinct possibility of its death after the final putt is struck at Chatham Hills. After this weekend, the Saudis will sign no more of their cheques and an awful lot needs to happen for LIV to survive into 2027.

Why should this concern Newcastle? Well, that's a conversation about their chairman, Yasir Al-Rumayyan, the high lord of Saudi Arabia's Public Investment Fund, and, specifically, the patience of those he represents when an investment gets too messy, too slow and too embarrassing.

We should head straight to the early part of this year, when, according to multiple sources, Al-Rumayyan had offered a few assurances to the golfers of LIV. Their circus had been hemorrhaging cash, but he said they would be funded for years to come. As a golf obsessive, who once told the players that this league was his 'f*** baby', no one doubted the value of his word. Least of all LIV's bombastic CEO, Scott O'Neil.

I remember having a long chat with O'Neil at the Masters in April, when he was giddy about LIV's future. During all of this, a member of his staff thought he was being a little indiscreet with his predictions for Saudi-fueled growth, so he turned to me and said: 'I won't be put in a cage, I have to fly.'

Surreal as that may have been, it had nothing on what followed on

By Alex Bywater

MICHAEL OWEN has insisted Liverpool can rival defending champions Arsenal for the Premier League title and backed Alexander Isak to deliver in today's opener with Newcastle.

It has been a summer of change at Anfield, with Arne Slot sacked as manager in May after winning the title in his first season and star man Mohamed Salah departing for Turkey after nine years on Merseyside.

Former Bournemouth boss Andoni Iraola has replaced Slot as the man in charge and takes his team to St James' Park. 'It wouldn't be the biggest

Brutal Saudis got bored with LIV Golf and left it for dead. Herbs why that should terrify Newcastle...

the Monday after Augusta, when he was abruptly informed the money tap had been turned off. One point I subsequently revealed in the Daily Mail is that Al-Rumayyan didn't even tell O'Neil directly — he had one of his henchmen do it. The baby was ditched on a doorstep.

Today, LIV is hobbling on broken legs. Vendors are suing for unpaid invoices, golfers like Jon Rahm are still due tens of millions from their contracts, and the season finale in Michigan was cancelled. Indianapolis was never meant to be the last

stop for 2026, let alone for ever, but unless promises from private equity groups shift into hard cash, it will be curtains for LIV.

Suffice to say, when the Saudis change priorities, it gets ugly, and fast, and emotion plays no part.

I don't think that is in Newcastle's immediate future — a seat at the table in football is worth more than a

PULLING THE PLUG: Yasir Al-Rumayyan

sinking ship in golf, especially with a Saudi World Cup in 2034. Predominantly, the club has largely been a successful and useful investment.

But Saudi Arabian spending priorities have changed massively this year. And it ought to be noted, not downplayed, that earlier this summer there was an apparent willingness on the part of the PIP to sell a minority stake in Newcastle, ostensibly to lighten their own load on a stadium purchase that has dragged on interminably.

A new training ground, announced on Thursday, is a show of commitment, but a few bad boxes have been ticked of late. Messy, slow to progress and embarrassing? It's been that kind of summer. The past two, actually, and that might be fine because the upside is worth riding a few storms. But here's one — what about a relegation? For a kingdom

Owen fancies Reds' title chances and tips Isak to shine against Toon

surprise if Liverpool won the league,' former Liverpool, Newcastle and England striker Owen told Daily Mail Sport.

'They've certainly got some great players and the opportunity of one or two joining as well in the next week or two. It's absolutely not out the question.

'I don't think there are any question marks about Arsenal. Whereas Manchester City have lost Pep Guardiola and Rodri. That's two huge blows.

'Liverpool have a new manager and with Salah leaving, there are big questions over where the goals are going to come from.

'Chelsea and Tottenham have new managers. Can United cope with the extra games they'll have this season? They've also lost Casemiro. There are big questions about virtually every team bar Arsenal, but it wouldn't be a surprise at all if Liverpool had a good season.'

Slot wasn't helped last term by

the fact Swedish hitman Isak — who joined from Newcastle for what was then a British record of £125million — saw his first season hit by injury. Isak will return to his old club for the first time as a

appalled by the notion of losing face, that could be different.

Staring out at the new season, this all seems a touch pessimistic, perhaps. But it isn't ludicrous.

That's mainly because Eddie Howe has gone and he was their difference-maker, their grown-up in the room, the leader who papered over cracks and delivered a trophy. But his judgment, rarely doubted, also told him to get out of Dodge.

You don't make that call if blue skies are overhead. No, you make those decisions when it's exhaustingly grim and you know the unseen bits.

You make that decision when you're contemplating a sale of key personnel, such as Anthony Gordon, Bruno Guimaraes and Sandro Tonali. You make that decision when Alexander Isak is long gone and Joelinton has indicated a desire to do the same.

You make that decision when those exits roll into a systematic failure to land the targets you truly wanted — guys like Hugo Ekitike last year and, more recently, Victor Munoz, who will possibly line up for Liverpool today.

THE Newcastle inherited by Matthias Jaissel has been inviting a crisis for some time. Exceptional reporting by my colleague Craig Hope has done more than any to expose the dysfunction behind it all, from the boardroom and down.

And so you do need to ask if the Saudis will embrace the chaos indefinitely. And you do have to wonder, persistently, if they knew what they were getting into, which is to say a landscape of ever-changing spending controls.

Of course, they don't make violins small enough for big boys who can't buy their way to glory. But if Newcastle could finish only 12th with Howe, what follows now that he and his best men are gone?

The bookmakers don't think the worst-case scenario is so absurd — most of them have Newcastle at single-figure odds to go down. Viewed that way, those mock-ups of Kylian Mbappe in a black-and-white strip, paraded after the Saudi takeover, seem like ancient history.

No doubt Al-Rumayyan has offered some reassuring words behind the scenes. But there are a few golfers in Indianapolis who have heard a similar song before. For my money, those assurances would be worth about as much as a handful of plastic toes if Newcastle keep to their current trajectory.

Liverpool player today and is sure to be in for a hot reception from the St James' Park faithful after his acrimonious departure.

'I love him (Isak). He's some player,' said Owen, ahead of the launch of Meet the Owens, a six-part Amazon Prime documentary series detailing his family's life both in football and his other big passion of horse racing.

'He's proven as it comes. He's done it for a long period of time. He's done it in the Premier League. He's done it in the big games. I think he's an exceptional player.'

● All six episodes of Meet the Owens will be available to stream on Amazon Prime Video from August 28.

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89

By Ian Herbert

THERE was a heart-deadening moment last season for the player who Steven Gerrard once declared could become the 'Scouse heartbeat' of the Liverpool team.

Curtis Jones had just put in a strong performance in the fourth round of the FA Cup against Brighton, ghosting in to score a technically excellent goal, and you could see what it meant to him. Then Arne Slot, asked about Jones's future prospects in the post-match press conference, warned that he was up against 'many good players' in the squad.

It still looked as if the Toxteth-born player (below) had a mountain to climb. So Jones is going to Inter Milan, bringing the curtain down on 134 consecutive years of the club always having at least one Liverpool-born player in the first-team squad.

The 25-year-old said six years ago that it would be 'unbelievable' if the Kop's chant about a player being 'the Scouser in our team' — sung for Trent Alexander-Arnold — was ever directed at him. It will not happen now. He also reflected that it was 'important' for the squad to have a 'Scouse heartbeat'. There is not one, now.

This unbroken bloodline extends back through the careers of Gerrard, Jamie Carragher, Robbie Fowler and Steve McManaman in contemporary times. In the great Bob Paisley era, there was Phil Thompson and Sammy Lee, to name just two.

Bill Shankly had Ian Callaghan, Chris Lawler and Gerry Byrne and many more. Ian St John, one of Shankly's lieutenants and captains, said Shankly's team-building philosophy was built on a core mix of 'Scousers and Jocks'.

DO NOT let it be said that either of those two great managers would have contemplated fielding a Scouser whom they deemed fractionally less likely to secure a win for them than someone else.

Paisley was brutal in the way he replaced Thompson with Graeme Souness as captain after a poor run of results around Christmas 1981. Shankly and Paisley made it a meritocracy because a deep and visceral hatred of losing was seared across their souls.

Those who later stepped into their shoes perhaps saw the symbolism and good optics of Liverpool-born players even more. Brendan Rodgers described hearing Shankly talking about their value on the tapes of him speaking which he played in his car. Jurgen Klopp said he would love a 'team of Scousers' and eulogised about 'Scouse soul'.

But the club's Kirkby academy simply has not been able to maintain the supply of local

LOCAL BOYS MADE GOOD: (from left) Phil Thompson, Sammy Lee, Robbie Fowler and Steven Gerrard were born on Merseyside and went on to play for Liverpool

Gone are the days of Thompson, Lee, Fowler and Gerrard as Jones exit breaks Kop bloodline

How Liverpool lost its Scouse heartbeat after 134 years

players now scouted from across the planet, it is easier to lose those locals who do not present the promise at the age of 11 which players into a development system which has an increasingly international dimension. Carragher discussed the lack of local players following himself and Gerrard through in an interview 21 years ago and there have been some poignant landmarks. The club fielded a player born in the Liverpool region in every Merseyside derby since 1986 until the 2015 fixture. With play-

is evident at 18. Managers have craved having a Scouser in the team because they know the value of an individual who can articulate to team-mates, with real authenticity, the expectation, the derby, the history, the peculiarities of the support and the intensity with which the club are scrutinised.

As one fan posted on social media about Jones's departure: 'Best way to kill a club's identity is to sell all homegrown players for pennies and overspend on unproven foreign players. So stupid.'

Carragher always insisted that Djibril Cisse exaggerated a story of Gerrard using the city as a source of inspiration at half-time during the 2005 Champions League final, but the captain would certainly have spoken from the heart

more than anyone on that monumental night.

The timing of this break with history is also unfortunate. Jones leaves with Liverpool that much further removed from their roots, with the sale of a third of the club to a consortium led by Jeff Bezos.

American ownership these past 16 years has seemed a little closer to home than it might, given that FSG is based in Boston, Massachusetts, a city with distinct Irish and Liverpool links. Many Liverpool-based supporters feel the consortium's introduction takes the club that little bit further from them.

There is always an emotional dimension when it comes to the city of Liverpool and its football. It is precisely why Shankly said the game transcended considerations of life and death. So this is a sad day for the place.

It was Carragher who captured the value of Scousers in the team better than anyone. 'They will have more of an emotional attachment,' he said in an interview some years back. 'It'll hurt them more when they lose.'

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190 PREMIER & LEAGUE

Tractor joy! Clarke's late show seals happy return

By Kallum Brisset

AT PORTMAN ROAD

JACK CLARKE scored a late winner to get Ipswich off to the perfect start on their Premier League return.

Former Black Cats winger Clarke came off the bench to raise the roof off Portman Road with a 90th-minute strike to hand Gary O'Neil the dream start to life as Tractor Boys boss.

Ipswich won just one home game all season during their last Premier League campaign two years ago but have already matched that this term with this win.

Perhaps inspired by their opening day opponents, who finished seventh in the top flight last year, O'Neil handed out six full debuts after Ipswich had spent £150 million this summer in an attempt to bridge the gap.

'I thought we played pretty well,' the Ipswich boss said.

'I thought we deserved to win on the balance of it. New signings and players that have been here a while, all pulling together.'

'The players know that they can compete at the level. We were competitive today in all phases. I'm 100 per cent confident that they will give everything in every game and we will find a way to be competitive.'

'The most confident that I've been in a group that I know what I'm going to see, and I know that they're going to give everything.'

Powerful striker Brian Brobbey was the first to threaten, but Ipswich left back Leif Davis was on hand to snuff out the danger with an important late block after Trai Hume's forward pass. Club

CRACKER JACK: Clarke wheels away in delight after his goal got Ipswich off to the perfect start on their top-flight return

record signing Emerson had the hosts' first sight of goal soon after, using his status as a target man to good effect as his header was almost fumbled by goalkeeper Robin Roefs.

Ipswich's big moment came after 24 minutes, when Emerson broke the deadlock after fine work from Julio Enciso on his second Town debut.

Enciso, who joined from Strasbourg on Monday, pounced on a loose pass and burst past both Luke O'Nien and Dan Ballard after winning possession inside

his own half. From there, the Paraguay international unselfishly laid off the ball for the onrushing Emerson to finish into the unguarded net.

Ipswich's Dutch goalkeeper Kjell Scherpen — another making his bow — was forced into a strong stop to deny compatriot Brobbey's powerful header on goal as the visitors sought an immediate response.

They got it shortly before half-time with a wonderful free-kick from Nilson Angulo moments after Enciso had fired over at the

other end. From 25 yards out, Angulo curled into the top corner via the underside of the crossbar. Even the long arms of 6ft 9in keeper Scherpen, the Premier League's tallest ever player, could not keep it out.

'Welcome back to the Premier League, someone smashes one into the top corner from 25 yards and it's back to square one,' O'Neil said afterwards.

Enciso worked some magic shortly after half-time and almost scored a stunner, with his inventive hook round the corner

just evading the far post with Roefs stranded.

Almost immediately at the other end, Brobbey came close to giving Sunderland the lead when pouncing on an Ipswich error, but Marcelino Nunez was well-placed to block.

The energetic Enciso was showing his class and created another chance soon after, but Town new boy Daizen Maeda was unable to meet Emerson's headed cutback around the penalty spot.

As Ipswich began to tire, O'Neil threw on last season's top scorer Clarke in an attempt to swing momentum back in their favour, a decision that paid its dividends.

Sasa Lukic, another of Town's experienced summer arrivals, pounced on Omar Alderete's loose pass and allowed Clarke to do the rest on the edge of the box.

The Tractor Boys' super sub — who was signed by Ipswich from Sunderland two years ago in a deal worth £20m — curled into the far corner beyond Roefs to lift the noise levels and hand Ipswich the best possible start to their latest top flight campaign.

Sunderland boss Regis Le Bris said: 'At the minute, we are not clinical enough to create chances and score goals. They enjoyed using those opportunities.'

'We were in control when we made those mistakes. We'll learn from that experience. It was the problem of the afternoon and we didn't solve it.'

'When you make mistakes, you get punished. It's not new. We want to get better and we'll bounce back.'

PISWICH (4-2-3-1): Scherpen 6, O'Neil 7, Gray 8, Gowers 7, Sasa 7, Nunez 7, Nunez 7, Nunez 7, Nunez 7, Nunez 7, Nunez 7, Nunez 7, Nunez 7, Nunez 7, Nunez 7, Nunez 7, Nunez 7, Nunez 7, Nunez 7, Nunez 7, Nunez 7, Nunez 7, Nunez 7, Nunez 7, Nunez 7, Nunez 7, Nunez 7, Nunez 7, Nunez 7, Nunez 7, Nunez 7, Nunez

Soomers: Emerson 24, Clarke 90.

Booked: Nunez.

Manager: Gray 7, Nunez 8.

SUNDERLAND (4-2-3-1): Roefs 6, Muenan 7, Ballard 5, O'Neil 6, Alderete 6, Nunez 6, Sasa 6, Nunez 6, Nunez 6, Nunez 6, Nunez 6, Nunez 6, Nunez 6, Nunez 6, Nunez 6, Nunez 6, Nunez 6, Nunez 6, Nunez 6, Nunez 6, Nunez 6, Nunez 6, Nunez 6

Booked: Ballard, Angulo, O'Neil.

Manager: Regis Le Bris 6.

Referee: Faria Holtzman 7. Attendance: 25,000.

MAKING HIS POINT: PM Burnham

Happy PM watches on as Moyes'

ANDY BURNHAM grew up watching an Everton legend called Kevin Sheedy conjure up goals with a left foot that appeared to be sprinkled with magic dust. So the Prime Minister would have appreciated more than most the strike by Kiernan Dewsbury-Hall yesterday that put his favourite team on the path to victory.

The Merseysiders had been second best in a first half packed with chances when Dewsbury-Hall took aim just inside the angle of Crystal Palace's penalty area. The crispness of the connection

By Simon Multock

AT HILL, DICKINSON STADIUM

with his left boot was pure Sheedy. The ball exploded past Palace keeper Dean Henderson's in a blur — and David Moyes' team didn't look back.

Burnham was ensconced next to wife Frankie and boyhood hero Peter Reid in the best seats in the

house. He resisted the temptation to wear a replica shirt, but his royal blue suit gave the game away. He was on his feet again when a close-range header by Thiemo Barry early in the second half persuaded Palace that this wasn't going to be their day.

'I spoke to the Prime Minister on the phone before the game when Andy Gray came into my office,' said Everton manager David Moyes. 'He was with his assistant, Peter Reid.'

'I think it's the first time in five years since we've won on the opening day. Kiernan's goal was

very good, but we also needed our goalkeeper. After we scored the second we probably should have gone on to score one or two more.'

New Palace manager Pierre Sage has inherited a seasoned squad that had won the Europa Conference League just 89 days earlier. For the first 41 minutes, the game appeared to be theirs for the taking, with Adam Wharton running the show.

But missed chances — and an inspired Everton keeper Jordan Pickford — took their toll.

Jean-Philippe Mateta fired an early opening over and Daniel

---

AUGUST 23 • 2026 The Hall on Sunday

91

WINDOW WATCH

by Simon Jones

Villa add

midfield muscle with Leon

● ASTON VILLA have agreed terms with former Bayern Munich midfielder Leon Goretzka on a free transfer.

Pending a medical, the 31-year-old is expected to sign a three-year deal this week.

Taylor Harwood-Bellis was left out of SOUTHAMPTON'S squad to face Stoke City yesterday amid Villa's interest in the defender.

VILLA have had an enquiry for Jean-Philippe Mateta knocked back by CRYSTAL PALACE.

Unai Emery's team are hunting a centre-forward with AL HILAL pushing hard to sign Ollie Watkins.

Villa are also ready to bid for Nicolas Jackson from CHELSEA. Watkins has also been offered a new deal at Villa.

● CARLOS BALEBA underwent his medical yesterday ahead of completing his £70million move from BRIGHTON to MANCHESTER UNITED.

The 23-year-old is recovering from an ankle ligament injury but is expected to be fit towards the end of next month.

● NEWCASTLE UNITED target Nico Gonzalez has been told by Enzo Maresca and Hugo Viana that he can leave MANCHESTER CITY.

Gonzalez was ready to fight for his place but with City looking to sign two more midfielders they

are realistic about his prospects of playing regularly.

Newcastle believe he is open to the move and is emerging as their priority on a shortfall of three targets.

Newcastle have also rekindled interest in TOTTENHAM'S versatile midfielder Archie Gray.

The 20-year-old is still very much part of coach Roberto De Zerbi's plans as he can cover various positions though midfield is his preference. He has also captained the team.

BESIKTAS have made a revised offer for NEWCASTLE midfielder Joe Willock.

● MANCHESTER CITY have held further talks with PALMEIRAS for winger Allan Elias.

CITY'S talks for Ayyub Bouaddi are continuing though LILLE have been pushing for over £80m on the 18-year-old.

CITY forward Omar Marmouch is still expected to complete his £80m plus move to TOTTENHAM.

● JUVENTUS winger Francisco Conceicao is back on CHELSEA'S radar in case they sell Pedro Neto.

Conceicao was bought from Porto for £38m last year and Italian giants Juventus would want some profit on their outlay for the 23-year-old Portugal international.

Neto has interest from Al Hilal,

EURO KING: Goretzka won the European Cup with Bayern in 2020

Tottenham and Manchester City but Chelsea are asking £100m.

They have also dismissed an offer from ROMA for Jamie Gittens.

Juventus would look to utilise any money from Conceicao for targets such as MANCHESTER UNITED's Joshua Zirkzee who is also Villa's radar.

● CHELSEA defender Benoit Radiaishie has joined Napoli on loan, with an option to buy.

The loan fee is worth £2.5m and could rise to £3.4m with add-ons. The option price is around £23m.

NAPOLI are also one of the clubs keen on Chelsea's Marc Guiu. He is weighing up options from Spain and Germany too.

● HULL CITY are exploring a loan for Chelsea midfielder Dario Essago who is also wanted at STRASBOURG.

● LIVERPOOL defensive prospect Ikeny Nduke has joined La Liga outfit LEVANTE on loan. The 18-year-old does not qualify for a work permit in England as yet so is

having to be loaned out to play competitive football.

● SUNDERLAND are in talks over a new contract for centre back Jenson Seelt who will then be loaned out, with UDINESE and MONZA interested.

● FIORENTINA are interested in EVERTON striker Beto.

● BURNLEY have had two bids rejected for Portland Timbers' New Zealand international centre-back Finn Surman, 22.

● WREXHAM are exploring a move for MILLWALL forward Ferni Azeez. The 25-year-old also has interest from Brighton and Hull City.

Wrexham are also looking at IPSWICH TOWN attacking midfielder Anis Mehmeti.

The 25-year-old Albania international only joined in January from Bristol City for £3.5m and scored his first goal for the club against Wrexham.

Meanwhile, Wrexham's move for free agent defender Axel Tuanzebe looks to be off.

'We'll find

the new Rodri' — Maresca

By Jack Gaughan

ENZO MARESCA believes Manchester City can find 'the new Rodri' this month as they move on without their linchpin.

The Spain captain left for Barcelona last week, with City expected to wrap up a deal for Lille's Ayyub Bouaddi during the transfer window.

With Elliot Anderson already signed, Maresca is confident that the new recruits can fill the void left by Rodri. He pointed to the fact that the 2024 Ballon d'Or winner had never lifted major silverware before joining City in 2019 — underlining that they can mould signings into becoming the best in class.

'Now the target for us is to try to find the new Rodri,' Maresca said. 'Before he arrived, he didn't win the Ballon d'Or, he didn't win the Champions League, he didn't win the Club World Cup. He joined the club and then achieved many important things.'

Rodri had made it clear that he wanted to leave the Etihad Stadium and Maresca has been unequivocal that any player eying a move away can depart, mirroring the principles of predecessor Pep Guardiola. The Italian claimed that life will move on, reeling off how City

replaced previous big-name stars. 'When Sergio (Agurro) was here, everyone was worried and Erling (Haaland) arrived,' he added. 'Fernandinho? Rodri arrived. It is just about this.'

'When they leave, you need to be good in recruiting the next one. They are all similar, David (Silva), Kevin (De Bruyne), Fernandinho, Rodri, Erling. It is normal, it is change, it is not a problem, go again and try to do the right things.'

Meanwhile, Maresca confirmed that he wants a squad of around 20 outfield players. City currently have 19 senior players, excluding summer signing Jeremy Monga, but that includes the likes of Tottenham target Omar Marmouch. Newcastle target Nico Gonzalez and Jack Grealish.

'It doesn't help that there are players who for different reasons want to leave,' Maresca added. 'But we need to adapt. There are 10 days to go, hopefully we can do the things that we need to do.'

'In the transfer window, you have to wait until the last week, because all the clubs try to keep players until the last week and then sell for more money. At the end, we'll have all the squad here, for sure it will be different.'

men are off to a winning start

Munoz was denied by Pickford before the Everton keeper excelled himself to tip Eddie Nketiah's close-range effort against the post after Wharton had illustrated why Manchester City have told the London club to name their price with a delicious lofted pass.

When Mateta then beat Pickford with a side-footed shot from Nketiah's cross, only to see the ball rebound back off the same post, it seemed inevitable there would be a reckoning.

'Sometimes in football, you don't score when you deserve to score

and you pay the bill,' lamented Sage afterwards. 'You have to convert your chances.'

Everton also created chances during a first half that was so end-to-end it would have driven both managers to distraction, with Iliman Ndiaye first thumping a shot straight at Henderson from 12 yards and then dragging a decent opportunity wide.

Moyes had spent the build-up to the game suggesting chief executive Angus Kinnear had been mistaken to suggest that Everton not qualifying for Europe last season represented failure.

His team were transformed by Dewbury-Hall's opening goal, which came about thanks to the tenacity of homegrown teenager Harrison Armstrong.

When Merlin Roth's quick free kick on the right flank in the 53rd minute caught Palace napping, the outstanding Ndiaye punished them with a cross that took Henderson out of the equation and Barry couldn't miss.

Ndiaye then forced Henderson into another save before Tyrique George blazed a late chance over.

Palace missed the injured Ismaila Sarr, with Sage

confirming that the Senegalese forward's absence wasn't down to interest from Galatasaray. 'Sarr will be training on Monday,' said Sage. 'He has a contract and he has won many trophies with us.'

EVERTON (4-2-3-1): Pickford: 1st, Roth & Tankowski: 1st, Bournemouth: 1st, Rydelstone: 1st, Armstrong: 1st, Nadiaye: 1st, Everton: 1st, Ndiaye: 1st, Everton: 1st, Ndiaye: 1st, Ndiaye: 1st, Ndiaye: 1st, Ndiaye: 1st, Ndiaye: 1st, Ndiaye: 1st, Ndiaye: 1st, Ndiaye: 1st, Ndiaye: 1st, Ndiaye: 1st, Ndiaye: 1st, Ndiaye

CRYSTAL PALACE (3-4-2-1): Henderson: 1st, Caven: 1st, Richard: 1st, Mark: 1st, Pampas: 1st, St. Maresca: 1st, Warrick: 1st, St. Maresca: 1st, Warrick: 1st, Warrick: 1st, Warrick: 1st, Warrick: 1st, Warrick: 1st, Warrick: 1st, Warrick: 1st, Warrick: 1st, Warrick: 1st, Warrick: 1st, Warrick: 1st, Warrick: 1st, Warrick: 1st, Warrick

---

92 PREMIER LEAGUE

Brentford Lewis-Potter 12, Janelt 33, Kayode 43

Tottenham

By Matt Barlow

AT GITECH COMMUNITY STADIUM

AMID so much change, some things remain the same. And there is still nothing quite like a trip to Brentford in the Premier League to bring the lofty expectations of the self-appointed elite crashing back to earth.

Tottenham, having escaped the ignominy of relegation, settled upon a head coach to their liking and spent a couple of hundred million in the transfer market, took a hiding at the hands of the Bees and should be flattered by the scoreline.

Roberto De Zerbi saw his team outplayed in every department. Unable to cope with the intensity and physicality in midfield. Unable to handle Brentford's aerial presence up at the back. Unable to get a hold of the ball and offer any threat in attack.

This was as comprehensive as defeats come. Keane Lewis-Potter, Vitaly Janelt and Michael Kayode scored the goals, and Igor Thiago missed a penalty.

Spurs barely stirred. Apart from a late effort by Mikey Moore, superbly saved by Caoimhin Kelleher, they did not look like scoring. Perhaps most worrying of all, they appeared reluctant to engage in the battle they faced.

De Zerbi might add Savinho and Omar Marmoush next week and but there is still work to be done on the fundamentals of competing at this level, what he called 'the soul of the team' on the eve of this season.

The Italian cut a forlorn figure on the touchline with hands in pockets as the jubilant home crowd taunted him with songs about Thomas Frank, relegation and wasted money.

Brentford, we should note, were excellent. Slick and cohesive. They know what they are and what they are trying to achieve and in Mamadou Sangare had the most influential of all the big-money summer signings on display.

Sangare, signed for a club record £41 million from Lens, eclipsed £100m Sandro Tonali. In the second half, he eclipsed £85m Mateus Fernandes, too. The new central defensive pairing Jan Paul van Hecke and Marcos Senesi had no answer for the aerial assault led by Thiago.

The Bees, having been written off following a summer upheaval last year, have basked in a summer of serenity this year under Keith Andrews.

They scored seven on their final pre-season outing against Eintracht Frankfurt and were again in fluent attacking mood.

Sangare created the opening goal, carrying the ball forward, bouncing a one-two off Thiago and cutting a low cross square for Lewis-Potter to convert.

Lewis-Potter has matured into an excellent left back. His strength is

OUTPLAYED: De Zerbi, Maddison and Robertson show their frustration as the match slips away from Tottenham

New season, new players, new dreams...

SAW IT GIRL SPURS

going forward but he has become capable in defence and deceptively strong in the air. He had already seen one sweet volley blocked from a corner and Nathan Collins had turned a good chance wide with a near post header.

Thiago headed another against the bar but there was a flag up for

offside. Home fans were buoyant. Thrilled by the attacking vibrancy of their own team and perhaps enjoying further disorder in the ranks of the visitors on behalf of Frank, their former boss who was given short shrift when he left for Spurs. When the teams met here on New Year's Day, the 0-0 draw

unfolded to the stinging soundtrack of 'Boring Boring Tottenham' from the away end. It proved the beginning of the end for Frank, sacked 41 days later with relegation fears taking a grip. De Zerbi's rescue mission lifted spirits, and investment in new players fuelled hope of a better

BEES BUZZING:

Janelt scored Brentford's second and (above right) Kayode their third

season ahead. The Spurs boss named four debutants to start. Fernandes from the bench made it five. They were led out by Archie Gray, the club's youngest captain in a competitive match at 20 years, 163 days but it was not an occasion he will cherish.

Subbed before the end, Gray was serenaded by Bees supporters who have not forgotten he snubbed them for Spurs. 'Should've signed for a big club,' they crowed.

Janelt scored Brentford's second before the interval. Mathias Jensen beat Lucas Bergvall in a tackle and tested goalkeeper Toni Kinsky with a skidding shot from the edge of the penalty area.

Kinsky made a mess of the save and spilled it into a dangerous area, and Janelt was quickest to the rebound, an all-encompassing defensive shambles with familiar echoes for Spurs.

Going forward, they offered very little. Mathys Tel had a tame free-kick easily gathered by Kelleher and Tonali lashed a hopeful shot over from distance and high into the top tier of the stand and greeted by chants of, 'what a waste of money'.

De Zerbi's made half-time changes to his midfield. Off came Bergvall and Conor Gallagher. On came Fernandes and Rodrigo Bentancur. It gave them a little more control but not before Brentford grabbed a third via a smooth

---

93

corner routine. Collins, unmarked in the deep, headed the ball down to Sangare's whose fierce strike from the edge of the penalty box was saved by Kinsky.

Kayode pounced to fire the loose ball high into the net.

From the Spurs angle, there were maddening similarities to the previous goal.

Bees were first to the header,

first to the knock-down and first to the rebound. They should have made it 4-0 from the spot when Bentancur was ruled by referee Michael Oliver to have pushed Kevin Schade.

Thiago hit a post having sent Kinsky the wrong way. It was perhaps the only real mistake made by Brentford. Alas, for Spurs there were many.

BRENTFORD (4-2-3-1): McAteer 7; Kayode 7; Pilshay 7; Kinsky 7; Kinsky 7; Kinsky 7; Kinsky 7; Kinsky 7; Kinsky 7; Kinsky 7; Kinsky 7; Kinsky 7; Kinsky 7; Kinsky 7; Kinsky 7; Kinsky 7; Kinsky 7; Kinsky 7; Kinsky 7; Kinsky 7; Kinsky 7; Kinsky 7; Kinsky 7; Kinsky 7; Kinsky 7; Kinsky 7; Kinsky 7; Kinsky 7; Kinsky 7; Kinsky 7; Kinsky 7; Kinsky

Nottingham Forest Leeds Starch 80 By James Sharpe AT THE CITY GROUND SO much for Nottingham Forest's bright new dawn under Oliver Glasner. If the Austrian is to have the same transformative effect as he did at Crystal Palace, he will need to find much more than this. Forest did not deserve to lose this dreadful opening-day affair but they did not do anywhere near enough to win it. Neither, in all honesty, did Leeds. Maybe it was the early-season rust. Glasner described it as a 'typical first Premier League game'.

ANOTHER SEASON OF SET PIECES?

Super Stach rises above mediocrity

Nottingham Forest

Leeds

Starch 80

By James Sharpe

AT THE CITY GROUND

SO much for Nottingham Forest's bright new dawn under Oliver Glasner. If the Austrian is to have the same transformative effect as he did at Crystal Palace, he will need to find much more than this.

Forest did not deserve to lose this dreadful opening-day affair but they did not do anywhere near enough to win it. Neither, in all honesty, did Leeds.

Maybe it was the early-season rust. Glasner described it as a 'typical first Premier League game'.

ANOTHER SEASON OF SET PIECES?

It was fitting that this contest should be decided at the death by a set-piece as Anton Stach curled a free-kick from the edge of the penalty area past a flapping, bewildered Matz Sels. All of the best chances came from dead balls.

Leeds, and Stach, are becoming masters of them. Glasner told his players that whoever won the set-piece battle would win the match. It was such a huge part of the Premier League last season, the early signs are it could be again.

'We are talking so much about set-pieces being so important nowadays,' said Leeds boss Daniel Farke. 'Even in my day, set pieces were important. Remember magic free-kick taker Juninho, curling the ball. If you want to be successful, you have to be good at set pieces. Anton is maybe not as beautiful on the eye as Juninho's free kicks but effective!'

STRUGGLE TO FILL ANDERSON VOID

There was always going to be an Elliot Anderson-shaped hole in Forest's midfield following his move to Manchester City, the question was how Glasner would fill it.

Instead of combative new signing Xaver Schlager, Glasner went for the precision and artistry of James McAtee. The midfielder struggled in his first season at Forest after his £30million move from Manchester City but there is hope that, under Glasner, he can thrive playing in the same quarter-back role as Adam Wharton did for his boss at Palace.

As tackles and fouls flew around, McAtee at least to tried to bring some decorum. There was a neat backheel to Morgan Gibbs-White that drew a rare ooh of excitement and it was his cross that found the head of Nikola Milenkovic, whose effort struck the post.

Yet it was just moments. It was

MY SHOUT: Stach after his winner

not enough for Forest to dominate the midfield. It was not enough to completely fill the void left behind by Anderson.

Glasner became the seventh Forest manager in a row to lose his first Premier League match but insists this will be a long process. 'Me and my staff can't come in and all of a sudden we play like Real Madrid in the 70s,' he said.

ALL SMILES FOR TRAFFORD

As the final whistle blew, Leeds' defenders took it in turn to embrace James Trafford. The Leeds keeper was grinning from ear to ear. He needed that. Like McAtee, Trafford is someone trying to settle into life away from Manchester City after his summer move and this was the ideal start.

He did not have the busiest afternoon, he made one strong diving save to push away Igor Jesus's header, but was neat and tidy and commanded his area. 'He has this natural aura of confidence and calmness around him,' said Farke. 'It's just what we want. He played a decisive part.'

IS DELAY THE ANSWER?

Glasner said after the game that Forest are after 'two more players, two different positions and we are trying hard to get these deals done'. One of them is expected to be a striker.

Jesus had a good pre-season but showed here he does not quite have the ruthless killer instinct of an elite striker. Chris Wood has shown that but is 35 in December.

Forest are interested in Liam Delap and tried to sign him last season. He fits the same profile as Wood but is younger. Chelsea want £50m but it is understood they would accept closer to £40m.

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94 PREMIER LEAGUE

By Chris Wheeler AT THE MKM STADIUM

WELL, Michael Carrick did say that it was ridiculous to suggest Manchester United had been given an easy start to the season away at Hull.

Even in his worst nightmares, though, Carrick couldn't have foreseen this: an opening-day humiliation at the hands of a team who sneaked into the Premier League via the Championship play-offs in May, and have been prepped for their return to the top flight with a summer spend of only £70million on 12 players — the same as it is costing United to sign Carlos Baleba from Brighton.

What a day this was for Hull City, their players and their fans, head coach Sergej Jakirovic and charismatic owner Acun Ilicali.

They will talk for a long time here of a first-ever Premier League win over United, and the two set-piece goals created by Regan Slater for Semi Ajayi and

Premier League

	P	W	D	L	F	A	Pts
Arsenal	1	1	0	0	3	0	3
Brentford	1	1	0	0	3	0	3
Everton	1	1	0	0	2	0	3
Hull City	1	1	0	0	2	0	3
Ipswich	1	1	0	0	2	1	3
Leeds United	1	1	0	0	1	0	3
Aston Villa	0	0	0	0	0	0	0
B'mouth	0	0	0	0	0	0	0
Brighton	0	0	0	0	0	0	0
Chelsea	0	0	0	0	0	0	0
Fulham	0	0	0	0	0	0	0
Liverpool	0	0	0	0	0	0	0
Man City	0	0	0	0	0	0	0
Newcastle	0	0	0	0	0	0	0
Sunderland	1	0	0	1	1	2	0
N Forest	1	0	0	1	0	1	0
C Palace	1	0	0	1	0	2	0
Man Utd	1	0	0	1	0	2	0
Coventry	1	0	0	1	0	3	0
Tottenham	1	0	0	1	0	3	0

new record signing Nobel Mendy. But what of United? All of a sudden, Carrick might have felt he was back at Turf Moor in August 2009 when a first away game of the season ended in an embarrassing defeat at Burnley and he missed a penalty. There were shades too of United's 4-0 defeat at Brentford four years ago.

This was every bit as bad. After a summer of guarded optimism over the signing of Andrey Santos and Youri Tielemans, the new midfield failed to launch. Both players were replaced midway through the second half on their Premier League debuts with United two goals down, having been eclipsed by Matt Crooks and Slater, a mere £50,000 signing from Sheffield United in 2022.

Instead, it was the business that United haven't done that becomes the main talking point. The new striker that hasn't arrived. The missing defensive cover for Luke Shaw: Midfielder Baleba coming in too late to start the season.

Carrick thinks it's a in title race. On this

Considering Carrick only lost two of his 17 games after taking over in January, this was a serious setback. He talked in the week about touting United as title contenders being 'a jump'. On this evidence, it's a joke.

To further put this result in perspective, eight of Hull's line-up from the Championship play-off final win over Middlesbrough in May started their first Premier League game for nine years with many — notably Joe Cole — tipping them for relegation.

The other three players came from the raft of new signings, including Mendy and Greece goalkeeper Konstantinos Tzolakis, who was as unflappable as his boss. Not that

United gave him much to worry about.

'He played under huge stress and pressure at Olympiakos, so for him this was like a cup of tea,'

smiled Jakirovic, sipping from an imaginary mug.

The Hull boss outfoxed Carrick by switching to a back five, primarily he said to counter Shaw playing higher up the pitch and to thwart United's attempt to flood the midfield. It worked. He also found a way past a United defence that has been strong at defending set-pieces under Carrick, after detecting a flaw in the system.

'It's a secret,' Jakirovic grinned again. 'We tried something on Friday. My assistants saw this. We had some plans there to try to punish them, how they stand at a wide free-kick.'

The first goal actually came from a corner in the 17th minute after Bryan Mbeumo's indecision in midfield gifted possession to Hull and ended with Senne Lammens tipping over from Ryan Giles. Slater crossed from the left and John Egan

---

95

'jump' to put United evidence, it's a joke

flicked on. Oli McBurnie got in a shot from a tight angle which Lammers saved on the line and turned against the post, but the ball ran loose for Ajayi, who was left unmarked to score.

The second goal in the 38th minute came from a free-kick whipped in by Slater that invited a close-range finish, and Mendy provided it as he stole in front of Shaw to power a header past Lammers.

The MKM Stadium was in rapture, with United in disarray.

They were passive and ponderous on the ball and vulnerable without it, particularly when Hull fed their wing backs in wide areas. There was little to suggest that the new midfield partnership of Tielemans and Santos is clicking into gear. Hull muscled United off the ball far too often, epitomised by McBurnie's battle with Ayden Heaven.

Carrick had been forced into a change of plan by a minor injury to Amad Diallo in training, moving Mbeumo back to the right flank after playing him through the middle in pre-season.

That wasn't much of an excuse against a Hull side with eight injuries of their own, and Mbeumo had United's best two efforts well saved by Tzolakis.

Matheus Cunha played at centre forward but lacked any punch. Patrick Dorgu was the worst of a bad bunch and was replaced at half-time by Marcus Rashford, playing his first competitive game for United since December 2024 in the No 9 shirt.

Benjamin Sesko, Kobbie Mainoo and Shea Lacey followed off the bench in the second half, but United never remotely looked like avoiding a first league defeat to Hull since they were both in the Second Division in 1974.

Carrick was keen to stress that it's only

one game, but the pressure will really be on if his team lose to another Premier League newcomer, Ipswich Town, at Old Trafford next Sunday.

The Hull fans who mocked pundit Cole for writing off their season took delight in the matchday announcer informing the United supporters with barely concealed relish that two trains back to Manchester had been cancelled.

'You're going home in a taxi,' they taunted their rivals, although most of them had disappeared by the final whistle.

HULL CITY (3-4-2-1): Tzolakis 7.5, Egan 7. AARP R P N Nairn 6. Mendy 7. Harrington 6. (3) Cairns 6. (2) Dorsett 7.5, Egan 6. (2) Dorsett 6. (2) Dorsett 6. (2) Dorsett 6. (2) Dorsett 6. (2) Dorsett 6. (2) Dorsett 6. (2) Dorsett 6. (2) Dorsett 6. (2) Dorsett 6. (2) Dorsett 6. (2) Dorsett 6. (2) Dorsett 6.

MANCHESTER UNITED (4-2-3-5): Lammers 7. Macras 6. (2) Dorsett 6. (2) Dorsett 6. (2) Dorsett 6. (2) Dorsett 6. (2) Dorsett 6. (2) Dorsett 6. (2) Dorsett 6. (2) Dorsett 6. (2) Dorsett 6. (2) Dorsett 6. (2) Dorsett 6.

MANAGER: Michael Carrick 4.

REFEREE: Darren England 4. Attendance: 24,475

Plan was doomed from start

By Nathan Salt

AT THE MKM STADIUM

HULL CITY, by their own admission, watched Manchester United three times in the lead-up to this lunchtime clash. That was all Sergej Jakirovic and his staff needed to devise a plan that would ruthlessly expose the flaws in Michael Carrick's gameplan.

What they found, particularly during United's 4-2 pre-season defeat by AC Milan, was a system which left huge gaps in the full-back areas to exploit. Set-pieces were also viewed as a major area of weakness.

'We watched Man United three times, one time live. We saw their problems and then we tried to use this today,' Hull City boss Jakirovic explained last night.

'Everything that we agreed on in the meeting this week, everything that we tried to practise went as planned, and this is the result in the end. I'm very, very pleased with them.'

Carrick's logic is sound. This is one game. One defeat. A bad one, yes. But one defeat. You don't abandon an entire methodology after one bad performance.

But even the most optimistic United fan would concede that pace, or lack thereof, and predictability are two areas of genuine concern for a side who have too much talent to be this lacklustre on a regular basis.

Take the two goals. The first was finished off by Semi Ajayi but born out of Regan Slater's corner, flicked on by John Egan, and the chaos that followed thanks to Oli McBurnie brushing off Ayden Heaven. United were all at sea.

The second, headed in by Nobel Mendy, saw Slater's wide free-kick punish another weakness that, 24 hours out from the game, was identified as another notable area to exploit in Carrick's side during a pow-wow on Hull's training ground.

Hull City's coaches held court on Friday to map out to players exactly how to expose Manchester United from set-pieces.

Particularly, it would later be explained, from wide free-kicks.

'I don't have a coach for set-pieces,' Jakirovic beamed. 'So Marko (Salatovic) and Audjelo (Roguljic), my assistant coach and owner, they are doing this. This is our secret.'

'We tried something on Friday, so we had some plan there to try to punish them, how they're standing, especially on the wide free-kicks to make some blocks there, and then we saw Nobel and Semi score.'

There were many green shoots of life for United in pre-season: a press that looked capable of suffocating the very best teams, rotations that suggested there would not be an over-reliance on the magic of Bruno Fernandes, and a dominance against the likes of Atletico Madrid and Paris Saint-Germain that suggested a shift was coming.

Leny Yoro mentioned a possible title tilt. Carrick, albeit optimistic, looked to keep things in check but the head coach did go as far as to say that his side has the capability to 'do something special'.

Yes, there is Amad to come back into the group. There are Lisandro Martinez and Matthijs de Ligt. There's Mason Mount. Benjamin Sesko only came off the bench in the second half here. Midfielder Carlos Baleba will arrive from Brighton in a £70million deal and a left back is expected to join the club too.

But if one set-piece training session and one live scouting mission is all it takes to unpick an entire tactical game-plan, perhaps keeping calm and carrying on may not be the best course of action after all.

---

96

How Liverpool lost their Scouse heartbeat

Page 89

By Nathan Salt

AT THE MKM STADIUM

MANCHESTER United captain Bruno Fernandes called on his team-mates to stop making the 'same mistakes as we did last season' after they were battered and bruised in a humiliating defeat by Hull City.

The promoted side, featuring eight of those who started their play-off final at Wembley, have been widely tipped to be relegated this season.

But Sergej Jakirovic's side blew away a passive United side as goals from Semi Ajayi and Nobel Mendy secured three points.

Many of United's mistakes were painfully familiar to their captain Bruno Fernandes. 'Same mistakes as we did last season every away game,' he complained.

'We give too much of the ball to them. We need to press a bit more, be more aggressive, and set-plays — we need to work on it and try not to concede these types of goals.'

However, Michael Carrick refused to hit the panic button after the painful

Bruno's fury as relegation favourites maul woeful United

loss. 'We haven't lost many games in six, seven months,' the United boss said.

'So again, I get it, we've lost today and I understand there's questions to be asked, but it doesn't mean everything's wrong because we've lost a game.'

'We've done a lot of good things and we did some good things today, but it gets lost, and I understand it'll get lost, but it doesn't get lost from our point of view.'

'There's definitely issues playing against different systems.'

'But just because we lose one game it doesn't mean that everything needs to be dissected — and that's wrong from our point of view.'

MATCH REPORT PAGES 94-95

DE ZERBI: SPURS 'NOT A TEAM YET'

By Matt Barlow

ROBERTO De Zerbi felt Tottenham were undercooked and lacking fight after they slumped to a 3-0 defeat at Brentford.

'For many reasons, I think we are not a team yet,' he conceded.

Spurs' expensive summer rebuild was shaken to its foundations by rampant Brentford on an alarming opening day for De Zerbi.

The new-look side showed the same old flaws as goals from Keane Lewis-Potter, Vitaly Janelt and Michael Kayode saw them

TURN TO PAGE 93

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7-DAY TV GUIDE & PUZZLES PULLOUT

TV & CRITICS

FILM MUSIC CLASSICAL THEATRE BOOKS

PICK OF THE WEEK

THE RAINMAKER

Friday, ITV1, 9pm

Athletic and clean-cut, Rudy Baylor is a rookie lawyer who dares take on an American legal giant. Matt Damon played him in Francis Ford Coppola's movie adaptation of the John Grisham story in 1997. Now Milo Callaghan stars as the scrappy underdog in an American ten-part drama inspired by the book. He bears more than a passing resemblance to Damon, but is English and a Cambridge graduate. The film helped launch Damon's career, and this might do the same for the boy from the Wirral.

Rudy and his girlfriend Sarah (Madison Iseman) look all set to be high-fliers at the prestigious law firm Tinley Britt. But Rudy is fired on his first day, after he turns up late and dishevelled following an altercation with his stepfather.

Things go from bad to worse when he then dares to argue with the all-powerful managing partner Leo F. Drummond (John Slattery), a man who likes to strut round the office quoting Genghis Khan.

As Sarah tells her boyfriend, Rudy's best and his worst qualities are that he 'will never back away from a fight'.

Desperate for a job, he ends up working for a ragtag law firm that operates out of a disused roadside Taco Hut. To survive he has to go out and find new clients. To make it as what's called 'a rainmaker', he needs to bring in big money for the firm.

Rudy's boss and mentor 'Bruiser' Malveno (played by Mickey Rourke in the film) is a woman this time round, played by Lana Parrilla in an expanded role. Having great fun alongside her is P.J. Byrne as her clever but grubby ambulance-chasing paralegal assistant Deck Shifflet (who was played by Danny DeVito in the film).

Tensions soon explode between Rudy and Sarah when he takes on a medical malpractice case that sees him go head-to-head with both her and with the ruthless Drummond. Rudy may be principled and passionate, but surely he's out of his depth?

An enjoyable binge-watch, this show, which was filmed largely in Ireland, has proved enough of a hit in America to be recommissioned for a second series.

Andrew Preston

A team of hotshot lawyers are at war in a big-budget adaptation of John Grisham's spellbinding best-seller

LEGAL EAGLES: John Slattery, Madison Iseman, P.J. Byrne, Lana Parrilla and Milo Callaghan

Well see you in court!

THE PIANO

Sunday, C4, 9pm

As television talent shows go, there's an awful lot of actual talent on display in Channel 4's contest for amateur pianists, as well as the emotional back stories that tug at the heartstrings. As the final six perform at a sellout concert at Birmingham Symphony Hall, mentor Mika, pianist Alice Sara Ott and host Claudia Winkleman, left, cheer them on from the wings.

TUESDAY

Friday, BBC2, 11.05pm

An imaginative look at grief, loss and mortality, with Julia Louis-Dreyfus, left, attempting to bargain with Death and spare the life of her terminally ill 15-year-old daughter. Death is personified as a talking parrot, which dips this into magic realism territory, avoiding sentimentality in favour of increasing layers of weirdness. Lola Petticrew - currently starring in Disney+'s excellent Furious - plays the daughter.

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3

BRITAIN'S WITTIEST TV CRITIC

Deborah Ross

Tissues at the ready for this tragic – and infuriating – tale

Little Bird

Tuesday, Sky Atlantic ★★★★★

Race Against The Tide

Tuesday, BBC2 ★★★★★

Little Bird is a six-part drama based on true events and it'll tear your heart out. Or, to put it another way, what if your children were taken away because you were too poor to afford a fridge, which would deem you unfit? This is what happened in Canada during the 'Sixties scoop', when thousands of indigenous children were 'scooped up' from their parents and placed with white families. This follows one such child and it's so sensitively, movingly and powerfully told you will need tissues at the ready. You may even need a box of tissues. That said, it does also work as a gripping detective story.

There are two parallel storylines. One opens in 1968 on the Long Pine Reserve, with five-year-old Beuzig Little Bird being wrenched from her family by welfare and dispatched to the 'orphanage'. Spoof forward 17 years and Beuzig is now Esther Rosenblum (Darla Contois). She was adopted by a Jewish family in Montreal, is studying law and is engaged to a doctor who seems like a very nice boy (Mazel tov, Esther). However, at her own engagement party she overhears her future mother-in-law saying something so racist – look at her, 'behaving like a regular Jew' – that Esther flees. Who is she, really? Where does she belong, really? She sets off to find out, yet her only clue is the newspaper advert placing her up for adoption which her adoptive mother had kept. (There's a photo, and a brief description, much as Freecycle might tell us about a table that's available. Or a chair.)

Esther heads to the reserve. She has snatches of memory. Brothers and a sister.

TORN APART: Ellyn Jade and Keris Hope Hill in Little Bird. Left: Sand sculpture

A loving mother and grandparents, a father who played with her in the fields. But otherwise she has little to go on. Her adoption papers are sealed. She is stonewalled by the authorities. Yet she is determined.

Meanwhile, through the parallel storyline we see what happened on the day her father came home to find her mother handcuffed and the children gone. We also see that they did have a fridge. Outside. Her mother's (Ellyn Jade) attempts to get her children back makes for particularly painful viewing. You will find out what happened to the father (Osawa Muskwa). Brace yourself.

Esther slowly makes progress and I won't specify what she discovers, just that the puzzle starts coming together, leading to

happy moments and deeply sad ones. (One brother was indentured as a servant.)

The series establishes that having no money does not mean you are poor, as you can be rich in love, community, family, but it never goes all Hallmark on us. It equally establishes that Esther's adoption was, in as far as it could be, good. She was loved. She was secure. She was educated. Her adoptive mother, Golda (Lisa Edelstein), is no villain, and understands what it is to lose family. Esther is exploring her identity but also, having grown up in a particular bubble, she's exploring a new life. The scene where she first encounters KFC is wonderful.

The series skilfully spins many plates, while Contois' quiet, nuanced yet riveting central performance holds it all together. One last shocking detail: the 'scoop' started in the Sixties, which seems a long time ago, and ran until... the mid-Eighties, which does

not seem a long time ago, probably because it wasn't. Such cultural genocide was, can you believe, happening in a First World country while Madonna was in the charts, and Prince, and also Wham. You'll cry, but also you'll be angry as hell.

Race Against The Tide is, says presenter Iain Stirling at the outset, 'the sand sculpting competition nobody asked for and we all probably need'. I did not ask for it, that's true, and on the basis of one episode I do not feel I need it. Will you tell him or shall I?

If you can work your way past the puns – who will be our Vincent Sand Gogh? – you will discover that the deal is this: seven teams, each made up of a pro and an amateur, must build sand sculptures on the beach while, indeed, racing against the tide, which will come in to wash everything away in six hours' time.

There are two judges, the 'artistic one' and the 'technical one'. The 'artistic one' is looking for 'a compelling story' – don't we all love a compelling story told in sand? – while the 'technical one' offers expert analysis along the lines of: 'Some people are ahead and some people are behind.' It's always good to have an expert on hand.

This week, they made sculptures based on childhood beach memories, so it's gulls stealing chips, a large boy on a small camel (long story) and a group of seals. Impressive, but you don't learn anything. Why does that fella appear to be blowing through a large straw? What's that little pump thing?

I thought about paint drying and how that can, in fact, be quite interesting. It certainly changes colour depending on the light.

There's no saying which of these shows will take off and which won't. Baking, sewing, pottery... they've succeeded, but jewellery, carpentry and knitting have all sunk without trace. I am reminded of William Goldman, the novelist, who once said: 'Nobody knows anything... not one person knows for certainty what's going to work.' He was talking about the movies but it could equally apply to reality TV. It's a matter of kissing frogs in the hope one will turn into a prince. Race Against The Tide is and will, I fear, remain a frog.

Edinburgh COMEDY

Because of my cerebral palsy I talk very loudly and slowly... 'warns Rosie Jones at the top of her show. 'Like an arrogant man.' Jones is the first to acknowledge her over-exposure on TV, but there's a lot more to her than throwaway lines on panel shows, and in I Can't Tell What She's Saying (Pleasance ★★★★★) the laugh count stays high.

The show is partly a riposte to the online slatings she receives, as personified by a dunderhead called Darren. She writes him a letter using the only language he understands – the lyrics of Oasis. Jones is also preoccupied with the quest for romance, eliciting

MARK WAREHAM

Edinburgh Fringe Until August 30

much comic mileage, which she then ruins by admitting she has finally found a girlfriend.

Throughout, she is refreshingly honest, at times, downright filthy. After this, you may never feel the same way about gravy again. Another comedy Jones, no relation, is Spencer, whose shows are a giddy delight. In Dogs (Pleasance Dome ★★★★★) he opens in typically zany style as a

punter wearing a giant papier-mache head who is attempting to find his seat while carrying drinks.

Chaos reigns at every turn. His loose theme of dogs is a front for all manner of inspired nonsense. 'What shall we do now?' he asks at one point, before launching into an imaginary soup-tasting session. Borderline lunacy perhaps, but ridiculously funny.

Equally deranged is another giant papier-mache head wearer, Sam Eley. In character as bigoted Peterborough pensioner Basil Crumbwick, Eley never once removes his monstrous head, despite having 'the peripheral vision of a scallop'. In his debut show Soul Sewage

(Monkey Barrel ★★★★★), Eley introduces us to this unpleasant old git. The gags keep coming and by the end he can be filed under 'late-night cult Fringe hit'.

More Fringe madness in the form of two shows that aim to skewer the vanity of the critic. In The Critic's Way (Underbelly ★★★★★) and Reviewers Welcome... TO DIE! (Pleasance ★★★★★), Adam Riches and Andrew Doherty have great fun at the expense of supposedly egomanical reviewers in what are both loose, knockabout, slightly scratchy shows. And as Doherty himself admits, three stars is not the insult it's perceived to be...

REFRESHINGLY HONEST: Comic Rosie Jones

---

4

THEATRE

ROBERT GORE-LANGTON

Death Note

The Musical

Barbican

Theatre, London

Until Sept 12, 2hrs 20mins

★★★★★

Jeeves Takes Charge

Charing Cross

Theatre, London

Until Sept 6, 2hrs

★★★★★

Death Note – based on the phenomenally successful manga novel series of the same name – is a distant cousin of both Batman and Death Wish, the Seventies vigilante film. But here there is an added supernatural element that's endearingly nuts.

A crime-hating Tokyo student, Light, gets hold of a mystical notebook (used by gods called shinigami to cull humans) and discovers that you only have to write someone's name in the book and that person drops dead within 40 seconds. How tempting is that?

Thus Light (played by Xander Pang) secretly starts to rub out every criminal scumbag in town with a squiggle. He becomes an urban legend. One of his fans is the singer Misa (Stephanie Zaharis), herself a victim of crime, and on whom the gods (notably the wafty Rem, played by Grace Mouat) have a mortal

Manga musical is a quirky sci-fi hit (but the songs are a bit clunky)

crush. The cops are baffled, but on the case is a sallow young detective (Colin Ryan, with weird eyes and a great voice), who perches like an owl in his chair.

'If I sit the way other people do, my reasoning ability drops by 40 per cent,' he lets us know in the evening's best line. A quirky story, then, refreshingly

different, with a set that has a Blade Runner vibe. But even by the low bar of new musicals, Frank Wildhorn's score is generic rock opera stuff. The lyrics

DEADLY BOOK: The poster for Death Note The Musical

(from Jack Murphy) plonk and the dialogue (by Ivan Menchell) clunks. But in its unpompous delight in its source material, I rather respected it. Swaying to Fabian Aloise's surging choreography, the audience of manga fans lapped it up.

Jeeves Takes Charge first saw the light of day in 1980 and now gets a manic revival with Sam Harrison performing 20-plus characters in three of P.G. Wodehouse's stories. These have been retooled by James and Edward Duke and Hugh Wooldridge. The latter also directs.

Harrison works like billy-o. He combines screaming idiocy with a wide streak of sexless camp. His rubbery limb contortions reminded me of an upper-class Lee Evans who's overdosed on pre-dinner snifters. He conjures up Wodehouse's deathless comic world from inside Bertie Wooster's Mayfair flat.

Aunt Agatha, who 'kills rats with her teeth', is almost visible, as is Gussie Fink-Nottle (Bertie's newt-obsessed pal), but less so Jeeves himself. He is a cypher, purring 'Very good, sir', but in the mind's eye he's a little too off-stage. Perhaps not having a second actor playing the title role is a mistake.

It's funny but not quite irresistible – in the second half, the comic jeopardy of Bertie's scrapes starts to feel samey and on the wane. Still, hats off to the tireless Harrison: the cheeriness and abundant lack of grey matter he displays is true to the Wooster code.

A decent entertainment, if not a total fizzer.

MUSIC

For decades, country music was a backwater. Now it's almost the mainstream. The latest pop star to reach for the rhinestones is Mr Brightside himself, Brandon Flowers of The Killers.

Two-and-a-half years after Beyonce released her country-tinged album, Flowers may look as if he's boarding a bandwagon. But the man famous for being a Las Vegas-born Mormon spent four or five of his formative years in Nephi, a small town in Utah. So these country roads are taking him home.

You can feel it in the ten new songs on his third solo album, all written by Flowers. He seems comfortable with country's conventions, from the storytelling to the sentimentality. The album was made in Nashville with local notables David Rawlings on guitar, Charlie McCoy on harmonica and Margo Price on backing vocals.

The band is large, the sound is warm and the lead singer is a natural. Flowers has the kind of voice that makes ordinary lives sound heroic. He can dish up corn without being corny.

The downside of country is that

TIM DE LISLE

Brandon Flowers

Thrasher

Out now

★★★★★

Hannah Cohen

Hoxton Hall, London

★★★★★

it can be narrow-minded. Flowers sidesteps that by singing in character, not always as a white man. In Angel, he's a baseball player whose uncles warn him against 'messing with white girls'. In Miss America, he plays a woman who has been coping with the male gaze since she was 12.

Every track is worth hearing, but a few stand out. Does It Ever Cross Your Mind is a sunny opener. Plans and In A Heartbeat are classically bittersweet, telling sad stories with gorgeous tunes.

If you're not a country fan, don't be deterred. Red Ground is mariachi, done effortlessly to my untrained ear. And while you can

take the man out of The Killers, you can't take The Killers out of the man. The finale, An American Dream, is a fearless melodrama in which Brandon meets Elvis.

His autumn tour, in theatres not arenas, should be a treat.

Hannah Cohen made an impression last year with a likeable album (Earthstar Mountain), a

great song (Draggin') and a satisfying sound (elastic pop-rock-soul). At 39 she has lived more than one life – she grew up in San Francisco, became a model, switched to music and now lives in the mountains of upstate New York.

At Hoxton Hall, she drew a sell-out crowd and instantly endeared

herself to them by calling her assured support act, Flora Hibbord, 'majestic'.

She went early with Draggin', a hard track to follow, but pulled it off by hitting some implausible notes, covering Peggy Lee (with a slinky Me And My Shadow), dabbling in disco and ending in a lovely flutter of harmonies.

VCC/LIB/LE/HE/LH/TH/8/ST/AN

---

5

MATTHEW BOND

Teenage Sex And Death At Camp Miasma Cert: 15, 1hr 52mins

★★★★★

& Sons Cert: 15, 1hr 59mins ★★★★★

Mutiny Cert: 15, 1hr 35mins ★★★★★

Spa Weekend Cert: 15, 1hr 37mins ★★★★★

On paper or, indeed, on a cinema canopy, Teenage Sex And Death At Camp Miasma looks like standard teenage slasher-thriller fare, in the style of Halloween, Friday The 13th or A Nightmare On Elm Street. And that's intentional, if potentially confusing. Camp Miasma is a horror franchise, albeit an entirely made-up one, with a much-loved original released nearly 20 years ago only to be followed by sequel after sequel after sequel... 3D and Outer Space versions 'n' all.

But now the whole tired franchise needs a reboot, the starting point for Teenage Sex And Death At Camp Miasma, a film clever, funny and stylish enough to have been shown at this year's Cannes Film Festival. In it, we see a young lesbian director getting the job to direct the Camp Miasma reboot, and her big idea is to tempt the star of the original, Billy Presley - who refused to appear in any of the sequels and now lives as a backwoods recluse - to return to the franchise. Let the persuasion, seduction and some poor winter driving begin.

Written and directed by the transgender film-maker Jane Schoenbrun, this is a film about the blurring of lines - what's real and what's not, what's part of a film and what's not. But as soon as we discover that

Gore Blinky!

A slasher movie with real brains

the metal-masked, spear-wielding serial killer in the franchise is nicknamed Little Death - translated from the old French slang for the female orgasm - it's also a film about women's sexuality and its supposed relationship with this normally misogynistic genre.

As such, it has the potential to stir considerable controversy, but taken at face value, with Gillian Anderson - looking like a cross between Madonna and Norma Desmond from Sunset Boulevard - on delicious form as Billy, and Hacks star Hannah Einbinder impressing

PLOT TWIST: Noah Jupe and Bill Nighy in & Sons. Right: Jason Statham in Mutiny

BLOODY: Gillian Anderson and Hannah Einbinder

as the fictional film-maker, the end-result is a rewarding watch. For a while it looks as if Bill Nighy will give one of the performances of his career in & Sons, where he plays an alcoholic, reclusive and narcissistic writer whose glory days are long behind him and now lives in crumbling country house splendour.

He's a chaos-causing wreck who can't even stay sober to deliver the eulogy at his best friend's funeral. But his teenage son, played by Noah Jupe, away at boarding school most of the time, hasn't entirely given up on him, even if his much older sons from an earlier marriage have.

But when he believes he is about to die, he wants all his boys with him. Richard (Johnny Flynn), a screenwriter working in Hollywood, and Jamie (George MacKay) a photographer, reluctantly return but barely know their half-brother, Andy (Jupe), the product, they believe, of the affair that broke up their parents' marriage. Secrets, you feel, are about to be revealed.

With Dominic West playing an American film producer (badly, it must be said), this is a top-quality male cast, but their talents are wasted by a plot twist that feels dated, derivative and annoying. The best part

is probably Jupe's impersonation of Nighy. Elsewhere, Jason Statham continues to do some of his best work opposite shipping containers in

Mutiny, where he plays a bodyguard (ex-police, ex-Marines, obviously) who fails to keep his shipping magnate boss alive then goes to sea to find out who committed the murder and why.

It's exactly what you expect from a Statham film but effective, and features Annabelle Wallis as an improbably pretty third mate.

Spa Weekend is a female-led American comedy that is, of course, directed not by one man but two. As a result, it is shrill, cliched and largely wastes a cast led by Leslie Mann and Isla Fisher. Shame.

DELIGHTFUL: Sir Bryn Terfel performs at the concert

CLASSICAL

It's Bryn at his showstopping best

The recording of this year's Summer Night Concert from the Vienna Philharmonic features Franz von Suppe's celebrated Light Cavalry Overture and other interesting pieces that show off the strengths of the orchestra, such as Puccini's Intermezzo from his opera Manon Lescaut, some music from Ravel's symphony Daphnis et Chloe, and a chunk of Wagner's Rheingold.

DAVID MELLOR

Summer Night Concert 2026 Sir Bryn Terfel and the Vienna Philharmonic Sony, out now

The soloist here is Sir Bryn Terfel, who sounds at his best with, among other delights, Jerry Bock's If I Were A Rich Man, from the celebrated musical Fiddler On The Roof.

Along with a number of other rarities, there is a string orchestra arrangement by Elaine Fine of Florence Price's 20th-century organ work Adoration.

The concert - outdoors at

Vienna's Schonbrunn Palace - was enthusiastically received by the audience.

Perhaps one day the Summer Night Concert will become as celebrated as the orchestra's New Year's Concert that is held in the city's Musikverein, which is plainly the orchestra's wish. Sadly, that day is yet to dawn.

As always, the evening was rounded off by Johann Strauss the Younger's waltz Wiener Blut.

---

6

BOOKS

Age Of Security:

The Rise Of A Global Obsession

Ruben Andersson William Collins £22, 352pp

In 1989, just before the Berlin Wall fell, the Stasi, the Ministry for State Security in East Germany, had 91,000 full-time employees. That was equivalent to one for every 180 citizens. The Stasi used some unusual methods to spy on its own people. Cameras were embedded in jacket buttons; recording devices hidden in watering cans. As Ruben Andersson points out in this sobering, even scary survey of the modern obsession with surveillance, a few decades of technological advances has turned 'our always online world into a Stasi-like

Big Brother is watching you... no really, he is

experiment on steroids".

In China today, there are more than 700 million CCTV cameras, one for every two of the country's inhabitants. Vast resources are deployed to spy on the people. For the Chinese government, security has come to mean the regime's security, not that of its citizens. Paranoia reigns supreme. Before one celebration of National Day in

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Beijing, 10,000 pigeons, due to be released as peace symbols, first had to have their wings, legs and anuses checked to make sure they weren't carrying 'suspicious material'.

However, there is no reason for the West to be complacent. 'Security,' Andersson notes, 'has become a runaway global business.'

Across the world, 'spectacularly creepy technology is proliferating'. Facial recognition has become increasingly sophisticated; spyware is everywhere; so too are wifi 'sniffers', which can collect information from any nearby smartphone. Voice assistants and smart devices listen to our conversations, capturing

our personal lives 'in a level of detail Stasi apparatchiks could only dream of'. We are monitored daily. In Brazil, some schoolchildren even wear 'intelligent uniforms' that

track all their movements. As Andersson puts it, 'State security has met Big Tech, and love has blossomed.' It's all supposed to be for our own good, but our liberties are threatened.

A professor of social anthropology at Oxford, Andersson worries about this new global obsession. Security, he argues, 'engulfs the very freedoms it is deployed to defend'. It doesn't even do what it is intended to do. Most

of us today feel more insecure and anxious, not less. And there is a vast chasm between the desires of ordinary citizens who simply want protection and the drive by states and huge corporations towards more and more control over us. Age Of Security covers a lot of territory and not everyone will agree with Andersson's conclusions. His views on the Covid pandemic and lockdowns, for example, are controversial. Yet it is undeniable that we have sleepwalked into dangers. We have surrendered our data 'without effort or resistance' to governments and Big Tech companies. The security industry has made us look in the wrong place for solutions to social and economic problems. The time has come to fight back, and reading Ruben Andersson's book provides a starting point.

Nick Rennison

THE BEST NEW FICTION

Knit One,

Heist One

Donna Moore No Exit £9.99, 224pp

Britain's retirement villages are evidently chock full of feisty pensioners ready to solve crimes at the drop of a

hat. Or, in this case, commit them. Janus Lodge is under threat of closure, as a Glasgow gangster threatens to redevelop it. The residents' only chance is to buy the place themselves, so they set up a business knitting designer fetish wear. It all adds up to an unlikely but thoroughly enjoyable halfway house between Richard Osman and Irvine Welsh.

John Williams

Sophie, Standing

There

Meg Mason Bloomsbury £20, 352pp

The bestselling author of Sorrow And Bliss returns with a tale of readerly devotion and literary fame,

whose eponymous heroine toils backstage at a literary festival. This novel shares its predecessor's wit and empathetic approachability, probing life's joys and frustrations as invisible Sophie grows obsessed with the work of one Lilac Dunn. When Dunn is booked as a festival guest, Sophie's infatuation feels downright hazardous.

Hephzibah Anderson

Passage

Colin Thubron Chatto & Windus £14.99, 144pp

Thubron, 87, best known as a travel writer, returns to fiction for the first time in ten years with this

mini marvel about a dying actress on holiday in Egypt with her husband and brother-in-law, who loved her first. His long-brewed jealousy erupts with grave consequences for a local tour guide targeted by government spies. The tangled story is told from each point of view, in a feat of imaginative sympathy.

Anthony Cummins

Can Nothing

Save Us?

Irvine Welsh Jonathan Cape £20, 496pp

Set in the intense heat of Las Vegas, Welsh's latest high-octane word feast begins with

a family inheritance dispute, widening into a much darker story about money, violence, technology and a society seemingly in freefall. Once the novel finds its rhythm, it becomes increasingly riveting. Beneath the mayhem and morbid humour is a serious – if ultimately unanswerable – question: if everything is broken what, if anything, can save us?

Simon Humphreys

---

7

BOOKS

YSENDA

MANTONE GRAHAM HISTORY

1936: The Year Of Three Kings Sian Evans Hodder & Stoughton £28, 416pp

God damn you! were the last words of King George V, spoken to a nurse attempting to administer an injection. It was a crotchety end for the 70-year-old pheasant-shooting, stamp-collecting king, who'd worked hard to uphold rigid Edwardian standards throughout his reign. With a fatal overdose of morphine and cocaine injected into his jugular vein by his physician, timed so the death would be announced in The Times rather than the more downmarket evening papers, the king died in the night of January 20, 1936.

Thus began the momentous 'Year of Three Kings', of which this is the 90th anniversary. The initial reaction of his eldest son, the new king Edward VIII, was to howl with grief. He was 'hysterically upset', 'frantic and unreasonable'. This was surprising, as he'd never got on with his crusty old father, who, over a deadly-dull Christmas at Sandringham, had (along with his wife Queen Mary) avoided any mention of Edward's

'As Prince of Wales, he was adored'

lover, the divorced and married American Wallis Simpson.

But Edward's histrionic reaction is in character with the over-emotional, attention-seeking, love-sick basket-case Sian Evans portrays in her fascinating book, which takes us through that dramatic year month by month. Quick to anger, petulant, selfish to the point of narcissism, and obsessed with Wallis, he was impossible to deal with. 'He had all the charm of the world,' remarked Noel Coward, 'without anything to back it up.'

Perhaps another reason for his howl was his knowledge that, from that moment on, pressure would be put on him to renounce the love of his life. As Supreme Governor of the Church of England, he was required to uphold its laws, which stated that one former spouse could only remarry following the death of the other.

While this was impossible - as Wallis Simpson's ex-husband, Win Spencer, was still very much living - Edward was hell-bent on getting his way.

What he could do was at least try to engineer her divorce from her second husband, Ernest Simpson - and in such a way that he would not be accused of collusion.

This he managed to achieve. The divorce hearing 'Simpson v Simpson' took place at Ipswich Assizes in October and lasted just 19

The boy will ruin himself in twelve months

So said George V of his son Edward VIII, who proved the prophecy right by throwing away his crown for a woman, Wallis Simpson, who never wanted to be queen

minutes. The decree absolute would come through six months later - just in time for the Coronation in May 1937, or so Edward hoped.

The British public were kept in the dark about the King's illicit love affair for most of the year. Newspapers maintained a decorous silence, despite editors being desperate to publish what they knew to be true. Along with political tensions - civil war in Spain, threats of Nazi triumphalism, and (more locally) marches on London from the depressed North (1936 was the year of the Jarrow March) you get an overwhelming sense of a dam about to burst.

Edward had been adored as the dapper Prince of Wales, and was now revered as the new king, but he himself couldn't abide the tedium of 'kinging', as he called it - the daily trawling through red boxes, and being kept in check by boring, bossy courtiers. He shunned Buckingham Palace, preferring his hideaway, Fort Belvedere in Windsor Great Park.

He had one all-consuming plan: to marry Wallis. 'WE must hold each other so tight,' he wrote to her - 'WE' being their initials and his soppy nickname for their

union. With the skill of a novelist, Evans brings out the characters and moods of the three main protagonists in this psychodrama: Edward, Wallis, and prime minister Stanley Baldwin, who cannily made it his business to ensure that this stubborn, unreliable Nazi sympathiser must go, for the sake of the institution of the monarchy - without anyone being able to guess his (Baldwin's) hand in making it happen. He was confident

'He said he would slit his own throat'

that waiting in the wings as alternative monarch was Edward's more malleable and steady (if stammering) younger brother, 'Bertie', Duke of York, with his exemplary wife and their two charming young daughters.

Wallis comes across as miserable throughout; almost ill with the stress of being the target of the King's obsession. As early as February, she was suffering from gastric ulcers from the strain of being bombarded by the King's love

notes during a country house visit. She had no desire to cause a national crisis. 'I'm sure you and I would only create disaster together,' she wrote to Edward - on reading which he threatened to slit his throat if she left him.

Her marriage to Ernest seemed just fine, before Edward (or 'David' as he was known in the family) came along to wreck it. One of the most moving moments in the book is when Wallis - hiding away with friends in France in early December, to escape the pandemonium and sheer physical danger to her life after news of the love affair broke in the press on December 3 - wrote to her now ex-husband Ernest, 'None of this is my making, it's the new 'Peter Pan plan'. I miss you and worry about you. Oh dear, wasn't life lovely, sweet and simple!'

Her reference to 'Peter Pan' suggests she considered Edward a perpetual child. Baldwin was of the same view. 'There are patches in the King's brain that are those of a child aged 13.'

An intriguing facet to the story is that when Edward visited depressed towns in Wales in November - his last-ever royal

tour - he made a point of visiting the town of Dowlais, where unemployment was particularly high. Baldwin disapproved of this visit, seeing it as the King meddling in politics and shining a bad light on his government. The situation was made worse for Baldwin, Evans tells us, because it was Baldwin's own family firm (which had recently merged with another company) that had decided to shut down the Dowlais ironworks and asset-strip them.

'Did the King know that the Prime Minister's family fortune was tied up with economic decisions that had cut Dowlais and the locals adrift?' Evans wonders.

It took just a week from the news breaking in the papers on December 3 for Edward to abdicate, on the 10th - at which moment the reign of the year's third king, George VI, began.

Shortly before his death, George V had predicted about Edward, 'After 1 an gone, the boy will ruin himself in 12 months.'

He was proved right. It was not ruin, exactly, but by his actions, Edward had consigned himself and Wallis to a lifetime of futility and exile.

CROSS BRAIN/INCOMING WINTER 1937

---

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WORDSEARCH

WIN £100

All but one of the men's names beginning with B listed below are hidden in the grid. Find the missing term and you could win £100! Words can be horizontal, vertical or diagonal, backwards or forwards. Answer next week. Last week's missing term: POLYH'YMNIA.

B	R	E	N	D	A	N	X	B	U	B	L	T	R	L	U
Y	M	W	R	P	F	H	J	A	O	S	I	T	G	V	T
N	E	D	E	B	K	Z	K	B	U	Z	S	E	T	T	A
T	Y	L	I	M	B	P	B	A	N	N	A	R	C	V	V
F	E	L	D	T	O	I	E	R	B	D	B	R	U	N	O
K	L	B	Z	A	E	L	O	H	O	R	B	A	P	E	T
Y	I	P	E	Z	R	J	O	M	K	R	I	B	B	A	J
D	A	H	R	N	B	B	B	H	A	S	K	A	R	R	K
R	B	K	D	M	E	M	E	M	T	V	Y	A	N	I	D
A	B	Y	R	O	N	D	G	K	D	R	H	B	R	H	J
N	K	P	E	A	B	Z	I	Z	A	B	A	Y	K	S	Y
R	L	K	N	C	S	T	G	C	C	L	Q	B	C	A	D
E	A	Y	K	P	B	R	E	C	T	F	B	U	N	B	O
B	L	B	R	O	D	E	R	I	C	K	B	R	Y	N	R
Q	I	D	L	A	T	B	B	E	N	J	A	M	I	N	B
R	B	E	C	U	R	B	B	A	R	N	A	B	Y	U	X

August 2 winner: Stephanie Moss, South Woodham Ferrers

BABAR	BILLY
BAILEY	BJOHN
BARNABY	BLAKE
BARRETT	BOBBIE
BARTHOLOMEW	BODHI
BASHIR	BRADLEY
BASIL	BRAM
BEAU	BRENDAN
BENEDICT	BRIAN
BENJAMIN	BRODERICK
BERNARD	BRODY
BERT	BRUCE
BHARAT	BRUNO
BHASKAR	BRYN
BILAL	BYRON

TO ENTER: Once you have found the missing word, test SEARCH followed by a space then your answer, name and postcode to 65700. Tests cost £1 plus your standard network charge. Or call 0905 652 2157 and leave your answer and details. Calls cost £1 plus your telephone company's network access charge. Entries will be accepted until 11:59pm on Friday. See today's solutions panel for terms and conditions. This week's solution will be published next week and the winner's name on Sunday, September 13.

SUPER SUDOKU NO 1206

6	5			9		8	1			12
	11									4
	10					3		11
	3	2	9		5		6			7
5			11		2					8
1	6	7			10		4	3	12	2
						5				6
						4	11	10		5 12
12	8				1					7
	7	1		6				4	9	3
10				5		2	9	8
		6					7			11

WIN £100

Test your mental agility with our Super Sudoku and you could win a £100 cash prize! Each row, column and 4x3 box must contain all the numbers from 1 to 12. Call 0905 652 2210 for extra tips. Calls cost £1 plus your telephone company's network access charge.

The winner of 1203

Rachel Savage, Gloucester.

TO ENTER: Test SUPER followed by a space, your 1-studied squares, reading left to right, name and postcode to 65700. Tests cost £1 plus your standard network charge. Or call 0905 252 5050 and leave your answer and details. Calls cost £1 plus your telephone company's network access charge. Entries will be accepted until 11:59pm on Friday. See today's solutions panel for terms and conditions. This week's solution will be published next week and the winner's name on Sunday, September 13.

CODE CRACKER

18	9	26	4	16	8	4		26	18	10	15	23
5		18				5		14		3		5
6	5	16	19		24	22	4	18	23	10	6	22
25		19		21		25		26		26		13
5	3	10	4	16	6	5	3	19	26			16
		17		15		22				15		9
11	19	8	11	11	22		10	15	21	5	1	26
8		26				17		9
15			21	9	16	5	6	17	6	19	5	9
23				26		20		26		25		26
24	12	8	5	6	25	26	9		10	9	5	19
16		6		26		3				10		16
5	24	2	26	13		10	9	17	5	6	16	15

WIN £100

1	14	Crack our code for your chance to win £100 cash! Just work out which number goes with which letter to complete the grid below this puzzle. The answer could be a name, such as Danube, or a phrase, eg at once.
2	15
3	16
4	17
5	18
6	19
7	20
8	21	TO ENTER: Once you've found the world in the red's blue, test CARLTON followed by a space, your answer, name and postcode to 65700. Tests cost £1 plus your standard network charge. Or call 0905 252 5050 and leave your answer and details. Calls cost £1 plus your telephone company's network access charge. Entries will be accepted until 11:59pm on Friday. See today's solutions panel for terms and conditions. This week's solution will be published next week and the winner's name on Sunday, September 13.
9	22
10	23
11	24
12	25
13	26

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

This week's prize word

5	8	25	16	3	19	26

August 2 winner: Miranda Apps, Holbeach Clough, Lincolnshire.

WEST WEST GETTING STARTED! You can get up to three extra clues by calling 0905 252 5070. Calls cost £1 plus your telephone company's network access charge. Or test EXTRA to 65700. Tests cost £1 plus your standard network rate. Phone front services helpline: 0755 1888-681.

THE PRIZE CROSSWORD

WIN £1,000

There's an amazing £1,000 prize for the first correct solution drawn at random in our general knowledge Prize Crossword. Entries must arrive by Friday, August 28 (photocopies not accepted). Today's solution will appear next week and the winner's name on Sunday, September 13. SEE BELOW THE GRID for details on how to enter.

1	2	3	4	5	6	7	8	9
10			11
12		13				14
14						17		16
20		21				22
23		24		25	26		28
28						30
32	33		34	35			36
37						38

NAME

ADDRESS

POSTCODE

TELEPHONE

Across

10 A Season ___ 1873 extended poem in prose by French writer Arthur Rimbaud (2,4)

11 Large mammal living in or around tropical African rivers (12)

12 See 23 Across

13 A shallow river in northern Italy, identified as the river crossed by Julius Caesar in 4/8/50 (7)

14 A unit of a poem (6)

15 A group of families or individuals living together and sharing possessions and responsibilities (7)

16 The specific name of modern human beings (4,7)

20 Sir Peter ___ director of the National Theatre 1973-1988 (4)

21 Umbrella-like object providing shade from the sun (7)

22 Historical province in the north of Ireland (6)

23 & 12 Across From ___ Love, 1957 novel by Ian Fleming adapted for a 1963 film starring Sean Connery as James Bond (6,4)

25 A person who is formally proposed as a candidate (7)

27 Brazilian footballer whose full name was Edson Arantes do Nascimento (4)

28 Animated cat and mouse duo created by William Hanna and Joseph Barbera (3,3,5)

29 An urban community planned as a complete unit and built with government sponsorship, especially just after the Second World War (3,4)

32 The grounds and buildings of a university (6)

35 A place where articles of earthenware are made and fired in a kiln (7)

36 A distinctive air or quality, characteristic of a person or thing (4)

37 Czech tennis player, the 2026 Wimbledon women's singles champion (5,7)

38 ___ Weisz, British actress who won an Academy Award for the 2005 film The Constant Gardener (6)

Down

1 Italian opera singer generally recognised as the first international recording star (6,6)

2 A thick white sauce originating in France (8)

3 See 9 Down

4 Queen of ___ female ruler in the Old Testament, who visited King Solomon bringing valuable gifts (5)

5 Having a large capacity or area (8)

6 British actress and author who played Alexis Colby on the 1980s soap Dynasty (4,7)

7 ___ Town, 1908 film starring Spencer Tracy and Mickey Rooney (4)

8 ___ Ill, Greek Cypriot prelate who served as the first president of Cyprus (8)

9 & 3 Down American astronaut who became the second person to set foot on the Moon in July 1969 (4,6)

17 A deep blue colour (5)

18 A person who sews or embroiders (12)

19 A route over the Eastern Alps, forming the border between Austria and Italy (7,4)

21 ___ Cymru, Welsh nationalist political party (5)

24 An impulsive headlong rush of startled cattle or horses (8)

26 A race on foot of 26 miles 385 yards (8)

27 14th-century Italian lyric poet and scholar who gave his name to a sonnet form (8)

30 The horny front wings of beetles and some other insects (6)

31 Edgar ___ French Impressionist artist identified with the subject of dance (5)

33 Kate ___ former chief news correspondent for BBC News, who received the BAFTA Fellowship in 2018 (4)

34 George ___ 19th-century French novelist who controversially wore men's clothing and smoked tobacco in public (4)

NOW THERE ARE THREE WAYS TO ENTER

Complete the Prize Crossword and count how many times the letter "I" appears. It will be some grid. Then test CAPT followed by your answer, name and postcode to 65700. Tests cost £1 plus your standard network charge. Or call 0905 652 2157 and leave your answer and details. Calls cost £1 plus your telephone company's network access charge. Entries will be accepted until 11:59pm on Friday. Or post your completed grid AND 5px answer to Prize Crossword 252. The Malone Sunday, All the 354, 9mmondream, 9/8/50. Entries must arrive by Friday, August 28 (photocopies not accepted). The winner will be selected at random from correct 5px answers. See today's solutions panel for terms and conditions.

Winner of 2280: Mrs D. Williams, Northfleet, Kent.

Last week's answer: 23

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10 GET PUZZLING!

SUMMIT UP

If the number in each triangle is the sum of the two below, what is the top number? Answer next week.

KEIJO

Place the tiles into the grid so that four different numbers and four different shapes appear in each row and column. Answer next week.

KEN KEN

Fill the squares with numbers 1-6 so that each number appears once in each row and column. The number must also produce the result in the top left of each area - multiply, add up, subtract or divide. Numbers may be repeated within an area. Answer next week.

QUICK SUDOKU

Complete grids with numbers 1 to 9 so each row, column and 3x3 block contains the numbers 1 to 9 used only once.

TO ENTER: Send PRIZE followed by your answer (1 shaded squares read top to bottom), name and postcode to 65700. Tests cost (1) plus your standard network charge. Or call 0901 252 5000 and leave your answer and default. Call cost (1) plus your telephone company's network access charge. Entries will be accepted until 10:00pm on Friday. See today's solutions panel for terms and conditions. Phone/ text services: Helpline: 0330 1000 601, August 2 winner: Brian Turner, Burn, Greater Manchester. This week's solution will be published next week and the winner's name on Sunday, September 15.

WIN £100

DINGBATS

Find the familiar phrase, name or saying in the letters or symbols. Readers are invited to send in Dingbats to The Mail on Sunday, PO Box 354, Wymondham, NR18 8JG. There is a £10 book token for each one published. Check out the website at dingbats.net. Answers on today's solutions panel.

FRIDAY TORCH

1. From Anne Ayers, Norwich, Norfolk

ETERNITY

2. From Carol Bowers, Craven Arms, Salop

LORD N

3. From Sarah Bennett, Havant, Hants

KNOCKS & KNOCKS

4. From Mike Hurst, Bolton, Lancs

DITLOIDS

Can you work out what the initials stand for below? For example, 7 D of the W = 7 days of the week. Answers on today's solutions panel.

1 D 2000 by P

2 R-A-D-D, 3 M In A T

3 R 101, H by FS

4 R R W 3 G N

5 1776: GW C the D R

6 2 C P at T G

BRAIN TRAIN

Run along our mental arithmetic train track to see how far you can get - and how long you take to get there! There are four station stops. A, B, C and D. You can start at A, B or C and stop at B, C or D. From your chosen starting point, drive through the instructions to your destination. Write your answer at each stop, then start again with the first number after the station. Answers on today's solutions panel.

RATINGS: Good - from A to B in 30 seconds.

Very good - B to C in 30 seconds or A to C in 50 seconds.

Excellent - C to D in 30 seconds, B to D in 50 seconds or A to D in 75 seconds.

Outstanding - A to D in 60 seconds.

WORD BUILDER

Answer each clue so that every word contains the same letters as the previous word, plus or minus one. Answer next week.

1 Tiny amount

2 Blast!

3 Nips

4 Beach

5 Mends

6 S African currency

7 Rushed

PUB QUIZ

Answers on today's solutions panel.

1 MOVIES:

Who directed the films Double Indemnity, The Lost Weekend and Sunset Boulevard?

2 MUSIC:

Rubber Bullets and I'm Not In Love were UK No 1 singles for which band?

3 TV & RADIO:

Who played the title role in the 1970s sitcom The Fall And Rise Of Reginald Perrin?

4 SPORT:

Which Welsh snooker player has won the World Snooker Championship three times, most recently in 2018?

5 LITERATURE:

Who wrote the plays A Tale Of A Tub, Valgione and The Alchemist?

6 ART:

Which English artist and engraver produced the series of paintings called A Rake's Progress?

7 GEOGRAPHY:

Horsklion is the capital of which island, the fifth largest by area in the Mediterranean?

8 HISTORY:

What nickname was given to Baldwin IV, a 12th-century ruler of Jerusalem, due to his contraction of a long-term disease?

9 WORDS:

What is the meaning of the word expatiate? a) Elaborate, b) Liberate, c) Move abroad.

10 BRITAIN:

Conceivated in 1243, St Giles' Cathedral is located in which UK city?

11 THIS YEAR:

Which comedian, whose catchphrase was 'And there's more', died on 3 August, aged 80?

12 POT LUCK:

In heraldry, what term is used to describe an animal that is standing on its back legs?

BARE BONES

WIN A COLLINS ENGLISH DICTIONARY AND THESAURUS SET, AND A BRADFORD'S CROSSWORD SOLVER'S DICTIONARY

Our Bare Bones Crossword is unique because you have to complete the grid - numbers and squares - as well. We have inserted four black squares and four clue numbers to get you going. The crossword has a four-way symmetry: both top and bottom and left and right match, so you can fill in 12 more squares straight away.

There is a price of a Collins English Dictionary and Thesaurus set, and a Bradford's Crossword Solver's Dictionary. Send your solution to: Bare Bones Crossword 1251, The Mail on Sunday, PO Box 354, Wymondham, NR18 8JG. Entries must arrive by Friday, August 28 (photocopies not accepted). The winner's name will be published on September 15 from the first correct entry drawn.

Winner of CNT John Thompson, Longfellow, Derbyshire.

NAME

ADDRESS

POSTCODE

TELEPHONE

Across

1 Heard - saw - that woman get a creepy-crawly 5 Reprimand insect flying around rodent 10 Chief pilot is an idiot 11 Praise for a key profession 12 Hope audibly for a quarry 13 Last of retailers manage range 14 Distinguish from constellation 15 One's irregular feature 17 Type of British grass

18 Comical fool around a youngster 22 Glee about worker being stylish 23 New route getting silver causes indignation 24 Caught miss with duke - not open to debate 25 Hide the television Down 2 Super design for a bag 3 Action that's reversible 4 Wild deer assessed after firm cheered up again 5 Pole's ambush turned cheeky

6 People's event 7 Mock drinks in report 8 Artisan parking vehicle first by log 9 A politician left one fire spreading to part of hill 16 Aloy that's a bargain, by the sound of it 19 Not asleep at a funeral 20 Service means a great deal 21 Mix in prison

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GET PUZZLING!

11

MENTAL BLOCKS

Fit the coloured blocks into the square without rotating or flipping them. The numbers covered by each block should add up to the totals in the circles. There should be no repeated numbers in a coloured block. Answer next week.

9	2	5	9	7
7	1	4	6	5
3	6	8	2	1
2	4	9	6	4
6	8	1	4	7

WORD SQUARE

Try this mini-puzzle. Answers next week.

ACROSS

1 Performed 2 Course 3 Boredom 4 Requirements 5 Benefit

DOWN

1 Stadium 2 Geometric shapes 3 Melodies 4 Study 5 Believer

BULL'S EYE

How many words of four or more letters can you make from the letters given?

Letters may be used only once and the centre letter must be used in each word. At least one word uses all nine letters. No words with a capital, hyphen or apostrophe, no verb forms ending in 's', no plurals ending in 's'. Answers next week.

How did you do?

Score the number of words that you found - 14 Good 21 Very good 28 or more Excellent.

ARROWORD

Complete the grid, then unscramble the letters in the yellow squares to reveal an insect. Answer next week.

TO ENTER: Test ARVORD then your answer, name and postcode to 65700 (e.g. RAVORD London John Smith Mill STT). Train cost (1 plus standard network charge). Or call 0900 262 5010 and leave your answer and details. Call cost (1 plus your telephone company's network access charge). Lines close at 0.50pm on Friday. See today's solutions panel for terms and conditions. August 2 winner: S. S. Watkins, Wheaton Alden, Staffordshire. Phone/text services/Helpline: 0378 1000 400.

QUICK CROSSWORD

Answers next week.

ACROSS

4 Scornful humour (7) 8 Bitter (6) 9 Kegs (7) 10 Plump (6) 11 Cowardly (6) 12 Gets in touch with (8) 18 Hold back (8) 20 Rapid pace (6) 21 Bring back to life (6) 22 Weird (7) 23 Pressure (6) 24 Available (3,4)

DOWN

1 Ireland's saint (7) 2 Young cats (7) 3 Austria's capital (6) 5 Investigation (8) 6 Go bad (6) 7 Of a sickly, yellow complexion (6) 13 Relating to the body (8) 14 Government's senior ministers (7) 15 Aromatic smoke (7) 16 Coarse cloth (6) 17 Invariably (6) 19 2 x 10 (6)

FUTOSHIKI

Each line across and down is to be filled with the numbers 1, 2, 3, 4 and 5. The same number cannot occur more than once in any row or column. Your only clues are the numbers given and whether a number is larger (>) or smaller (<) than the adjacent number. Answer next week.

KILLER

The normal rules of Sudoku apply. In addition, digits in each inner dotted shape must add up to the number in the top left corner. Answer next week.

KAKURO

Fill each sequence of blank squares using the numbers 1-9. Each sequence - across and down - must total the number in the shaded box at the beginning or top of that sequence. Numbers may be repeated within a line or column but NOT in a sequence. Answer next week.

EVENS

Insert any digit from 1 to 9 in the squares, so that the numbers in each row and column add up to the given totals. No digits may be repeated within a row or column, and even numbers must be placed in shaded squares. Answer next week.

TETROMINOES

Using the given shapes, create four four-letter anagrams by dividing the grid into sections. You may rotate the shapes, but may not flip them. Answers next week.

CHESS

Here, Black has wasted time while most of White's pieces have found good squares. As White, can you win before Black gets organised? Our answer on the solutions panel.

BATTLESHIPS

Find one battleship, two cruisers, three destroyers and four submarines in the grid. The numbers to the right of and below the grid indicate how many of the squares in that row contain ships or parts of ships. The ships do not touch each other, even diagonally. Answers next week.

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12 GET PUZZLING!

SIR LANCELOT AND HIS PAGE

PLAY FOR YOUR CHANCE TO WIN £250!

WIN £250

Every week our gallant knight engages in an amiable jourd with his page. They provide different clues that give the same answers. Sir Lancelot gives the Cryptic Clues and his page the Quick Clues. Join them in their game and count how many times the letter 'I' appears in the completed grid for a chance to win £250! Answers next Sunday.

SIR LANCELOT'S

CRYPTIC CLUES

Across

1 Cells transformed into a show of appreciation (7) 5 Regard spectre another way (7) 10 Group of people of basic language (4) 11 Believe eccentric way of paying (6,4) 12 Heads off before four – bearing is holding (8) 13 Son to finish with cheerful lampoon (6) 14 Equipment I would find unyielding (5) 16 View batsman as a revelation (3,6) 19 Complete cane construction gets comment (9) 21 Point thorn out (5) 23 Composer finds key harms composition (6) 25 End of the line for some time in America (8) 27 Blue fastening starts to work properly (6,4) 28 Inferior? Not applicable to fellows (4) 29 Attractive socialist is a bit colourful (7) 30 Parking inside, remove exhaust (7)

Down

2 Virginia takes cover that's acceptable (5) 3 Entering a different shade (9) 4 Alternatively, head of chemistry concealed flower (6) 6 Release energy assignment (8) 7 Exercise is able to provide nourishment (5) 8 Overweight cult, prone to change (9) 9 Get upset about Lee's wrong ingredient (6) 15 Elder unit forced to pause (9) 17 European proposal gets a student moving (9) 18 Comedy providers choke – rest moves south (8) 20 Material for bed not pulled back (6) 22 Church has to call shrink (6) 24 Marched, inflated (5) 26 Object after fun turned inappropriate (5)

THE PAGE'S QUICK CLUES

Across

1 Loud applause (7) 5 Esteem (7) 10 Tribe (4) 11 Payment method (6,4) 12 Glue (8) 13 Parody (6) 14 Stiff (5) 16 Something startling (3,6) 19 Statement (9)

21 Compass point (5) 23 German composer (6) 25 Last station (8) 27 Start working seriously (6,4) 28 Worthless (4) 29 Slightly scarlet (7) 30 Empty out (7) Down 2 Legitimate (5) 3 Citrus fruit (9)

4 Exotic flower (6) 6 Giving off (8) 7 Type of nut (5) 8 Chutoby (9) 9 Salad plant (6) 15 Break (9) 17 Touching (9) 18 Joke writers (8) 20 Natural fibre (6) 22 Cower (6) 24 Trekked (5) 26 Out of shape (5)

TO ENTER: Complete the Crossword and count how many times the letter 'I' appears in the grid. Then test LANCELOT followed by a space, your answer, name and postcode to EXON: reg.LANCELOT 5 (time: Smith MB 571. Tests cost: 8 plus your standard network rate. To enter by phone, call 0965 622 2540 and leave your answer and details. Calls cost: 8 plus your telephone company's network access charge. Entries will be accepted until 7:15pm on Friday. See below for terms and conditions. Phone and text Helpline: 0930 1000 600.

August 2 winner: J. Johnson, Northwich, Cheshire. Last week's answer: 11

NUMBERFIT

All of the listed numbers fit into the grid and there's only one way to do it. One number has been provided to get you started. Answer next week.

3 digits
394
424
4 digits
2543
3856
5324
5956
7554
8353

5 digits
34975
37433
62343
87584
6 digits
83454/2
845675

7 digits
2151384
4349587
5283485
5498658
8345856
9567480

8 digits
34595435
34967466
63458456
84576040
9 digits
57813925
737326436

PATHFINDER

Beginning with the letter R in the square box, follow a continuous path to find 23 gardening verbs. The trail passes through each and every letter once and may twist up, down or sideways, but never diagonally. Answer next week.

E	C	P	O	M	O	D	H	D	P	I
S	O	M	S	T	W	A	E	A	K	C
I	L	I	T	T	S	E	D	E	A	E
T	E	R	R	A	M	U	H	R	A	T
A	W	F	E	K	E	L	C	R	G	M
T	E	T	L	U	C	T	F	A	R	I
A	V	I	O	W	T	R	S	P	T	T
L	A	N	S	D	E	A	N	L	A	N
P	T	T	H	A	E	W	T	U	R	P
P	O	C	G	R	V	E	S	N	R	E
P	O	H	I	D	E	O	H	E	A	K

LAST WEEK'S SOLUTIONS

PRIZE CROSSWORD AUGUST 16 SOLUTIONS, NO 2282

ACROSS: 1 Library, 5 Samuel Plumer, 10 Salem, 10 Calvin, 10 Roman, 14 Los Palmas, 15 Influence, 16 Bud, 17 Mister Carrier, 20 Hemp, 21 Singback, 22 Cinc, 26 Julie Andrews, 27 Saint, 29 Sandberg, 30 Kensington, 31 Irene, 34 Marcado, 35 Tibia, 36 Eastern Cape, 37 Attoker. DOWN: 1 Let South, 2 Blue, 3 Blue to Blue, 4 Locomo, 5 Silas Plumer, 6 World, 7 Portuano, 8 Romanization, 9 Brewera, 12 Elthaus, 16 Disclaimer, 18 Elbow geese, 19 Blenheim, 23 Crosshair, 24 Verisone, 25 Brigitte, 26 Gamble, 28 Ankara, 30 Garda, 32 Dubai.

WORDSHEARER

SUPER SQUARE

DIEKE SQUARE

SIR LANCELOT AND HIS PAGE

ACROSS: 9 West, 10 Rain dance, 11 Piezemaker, 12 Bores, 13 Smull, 14 Spikedist, 16 Chelsea, 18 Inherit, 20 Paro459, 22 Barley, 25 Karla, 26 Marine goat, 28 Lambrosco, 29 Crema. DOWN: 1 Shop, 2 Citrus, 3 Stimulus, 4 Driate, 5 Disregue, 6 Edible, 7 Attitude, 8 News editor, 10 Kensipale, 15 Cantonese, 17 Eartharm, 18 Honeyset, 20 Stairs, 25 Trowel, 26 Endow, 27 Team.

MEDIUM SQUARE

GOLUB

THIS WEEK'S SOLUTIONS

FOR ONE

1 Billy Wilder, 2 Vior, 3 Leonard Rossiter, 4 Mark Williams, 5 Ben Juman, 6 William Hogarth, 7 Crete, 8 The Loper King, 9 Le Gideonde, 10 Edinburgh, 11 Jimmy Cricket, 12 Rampant.

SUNGLASS

1 Broad daylight, 2 A stitch in time, 3 Edition, 4 Equinox. BRAIN TEAM A-B=0.5, B-C=0.80, C-D=0.89.

CHEST

1 Codyl= body 2, Bogle= 6x7 5, 8x5 make.

OUTLOOK

1 Ditch 2000 by Pubs, 2 Rich 4-0ub-Dub, 1 Men In A Tub, 3 Room 101, Hooked by Frank Skinner, 4 Red Rum Vine 5 Grand Nationals, 5 27th George Washington Crosses The Delaware River, 6 2' Lan Play at That Game.

NEW NEW

MENTAL BLOCKS

BELUX

HOTOGRAD

CHENS

TEENOMANDS

BATHROOM

COOK CRACKER Last week's answer: GRANULE

RARE BONES NO 5269

QUICK CROSSWORD

NUMBERFIT

PATHFINDER

RAKERS

SUMMIT UP 12" WORD BORDER: Sub, Picks, Broom, Sombre, Robes, Sore, Rice WORD SQUARE ACROSS: 1 Grade, 2 Raves, 3 Event, 4 Tense, 5 Active. DOWN: 1 Ureta, 2 Raves, 3 Avert, 4 Dense, 5 Enter. ARROWORD SERRA (SOME RARE'S EYE date, dhal, dhor, dhoy, dray, dnoy, thied, thid, thod, TOO) HAPPY, ford, hard, hardly, hunts, hoard, hold, hood, huts, hutts, lads, lord, road, road, road, yard (25).

Terms and Conditions: Open to UK residents only, excluding residents of Northern Ireland, employees of the Promoter or anyone connected with the Promoter, their relations or members of their households. Entrants must be 18 years or over, by entering you accept these terms. One entry per person. One winner will be selected from all correct and eligible entries received. Winners will be notified within 7 days. Failure to accept the prize within 7 days will make any claim invalid, when the Promoter will select another winner. Prizes are non-transferable. The Promoter reserves the right to substitute a prize with an item of equal value. The determination of the Promoter on all matters is final. No correspondence will be entered into. The Promoter reserves the right in its reasonable discretion to: (a) disqualify any entrant whose conduct is contrary to the spirit of the terms; (b) declare as well any entries resulting from any printing, production and/or distribution errors or an error materially affecting the number of claimants or the value of claims. If any of the provisions of these terms is unenforceable, it shall be severed from the remainder and the validity of the other provisions shall not be affected. These terms are governed by English law. The Promoter is Associated Newspapers Limited, 5 Derry Street, London W8 5PJ.

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VI

13

OUR TOP PICKS FOR THIS WEEK'S TV

MYSTERY BOOKISH

Mark Gatiss is the creator and star of Bookish, a cosy and immensely clever mystery now back for its second six-part series. It follows the cases of bookshop owner Gabriel Book (Gatiss, above centre with, from left, Elliot Levey, Polly Walker, Connor Finch and Buket Komur), an ex-wartime spy who solves mysteries that stump the police. Book is also gay, and his lavender marriage to his friend Trottie is at the heart of the show – a heart that comes under threat in series two, which features some top-notch guest stars including Jason Watkins, Rupert Graves and Miranda Richardson. Wednesday, U&Alibi, 8pm & 9.15pm

THRILLER ONE DOLLAR

As a one-dollar bill passes through the pockets of various residents of a Pennsylvania rust belt town, police scramble to solve a multiple murder at the local steel mill. Rather than focusing on the procedural elements, the show builds itself around its large ensemble cast, including characters like Nike Uche Kadr's officer Rook, right, as their connections to the crime are slowly revealed. Sunday, ITV1, 11.20pm

ENTERTAINMENT THE JOY OF PETS

Gaby Roslin, right, hosts a roadshow for animal lovers as she travels the country meeting proud pet owners and their furry, feathered, scaly and woolly friends. Vet Bolu Eso joins her for helpful tips and tricks, too. Sunday, ITV1, 11.30am

TRUE CRIME THE MURDER DETECTIVE

In April 2019 journalist Lyra McKee, right, was fatally shot in Derry. A three-part series follows the investigating team over seven years as they attempt to identify the killer, as well as following Lyra's family as they struggle with their loss. It's no ordinary murder case, with officers facing a daily threat of attack from the terrorists who claimed responsibility for the murder. Wednesday, C4, 9pm

DOCUMENTARY THE GREAT WALL OF CHINA WITH DAN SNOW

There's history, culture, myths and legends in this special one-off in which historian Dan, left, leaves the well-worn tourist tracks and travels the length of China to explore the origins and construction of the largest man-made structure in the world. Wednesday, C5, 9pm

DRAMA THE TERROR: DEVIL IN SILVER

The disturbing thriller anthology is back for a new, six-part run, and with that nice Dan Stevens as its star. Stevens, right, plays Pepper, a faded rocker who's committed to a psychiatric institution after a very bad day. The rules for getting out seem to be clear – but they're harder to obey than they appear, and it isn't long before Pepper wonders if he'll ever leave. Sunday, Sky Atlantic, 9pm

RADIO

SUNDAY THE REUNION

A look back at the early days of the Isle of Wight Festival and how they booked Bob Dylan and Jimi Hendrix. Radio 4, 10am

SUNDAY MIDNIGHT COWBOY

The first radio version of the story of two hustlers trying to get by in New York. Radio 4, 3pm

TUESDAY HISTORY'S SECRET HEROES

Helena Bonham Carter, left, tells more extraordinary wartime stories of courage, starting with a female double agent. Radio 4, 3pm

WEDNESDAY BBC PROMS

An all-Richard Strauss programme played by the New York Metropolitan Opera's Met Orchestra making their Proms debut. Radio 3, 7pm

ANDY BUCHMANN/POST/11/26

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14

Sunday August 23

BBC1	BBC2	ITV1	CHANNEL 4	5
6.00 Breakfast 8.40 Match Of The Day (R) 10.00 Prayer And Reflection (R) 10.30 Sunday Morning Live New series. Topical debate covering religious, moral and ethical issues, with guest panelists and contributions from viewers. 11.30 Money For Nothing (R) 12.15 Bargain Hunt (R) 1.00 BBC News; Weather 1.15 Songs Of Praise Claire McCollum is in London to celebrate long-lasting partnerships. 1.50 Escape To The Country (R) 2.15 FILM: Shaun The Sheep Movie (U/2015) Animation with the voices of Justin Fletcher and John Sparkes. 3.35 Hamza: Strictly Birds Of Prey Cameraman Hamza Yassin goes in search of his favourite birds of prey. (R) 4.35 Homes Under The Hammer (R) 5.35 BBC News 5.50 Regional News; Weather 6.00 Countryfile Adam Henson meets a young farmer in the Yorkshire Dales.	6.10 A To Z Of TV Gardening (R) 6.55 Glorious Gardens From Above Exploring Hampshire by hot-air balloon. (R) 7.40 Countryfile (R) 8.40 Breakfast 9.00 Best Of Weatherman Walking Deising into Wales's industrial past. 9.30 Beechgrove Garden How to take cuttings from various garden favourites. 10.00 Saturday Kitchen Best Bites With Tom Allen. (R) 11.30 Caribbean Food Made Easy Cookery show. (R) 12.00 Lorraine Pascale: How To Be A Better Cook (R) 12.30 Nigel Slater's Simple Suppers Transforming classic recipes. (R) 12.45 Gymnastics: European Championships 2026 Coverage of the final day of the men's event. 4.10 Athletics: Diamond League Silesia From Poland (also live on iPlayer from 3pm). 5.00 Fake Or Fortune? What Happened Next (R) 6.00 The Big Deal With Steph McGovern 2/6 (R)	6.00 The Voice UK (R) 7.00 James Martin's Saturday Morning With the Shires and Alexis Ffrench. (R) 9.25 ITV News 9.30 Love Your Weekend With Alan Titchmarsh (R) 11.30 The Joy Of Pets New series. Gaby Roslin is joined by vet Bolu Eso to celebrate the UK's love of pets. 12.30 Tom Kerridge Cooks Italy Sicily's citrus heritage. Last in the series. (R) 1.00 ITV News; Weather 1.10 Force Of Nature A look at how animals adapted to the cold are struggling in a warming world. (R) 2.15 FILM: For Your Eyes Only (PG/1981) James Bond spy thriller starring Roger Moore and Topol. 4.40 The Chase Celebrity Special With Christine Ohuruogu, Max George, Maisie Smith and Owain Wyn-Evans. (R) 5.40 The Chase Around The World Last in the series. (R) 6.35 ITV News; Weather 6.50 Local News; Weather	6.00 Cheers Triple bill. (R) 7.20 Everybody Loves Raymond Double bill. (R) 8.15 FILM: Tad The Lost Explorer And The Curse Of The Mummy (PG/2022) Animated adventure with the voices of Oscar Barberan and Michelle Jenner. 10.00 Sunday Brunch With Sunetra Sarker, Chris Ramsey, Tamzin Outhwaite, Kevin Bishop and Laurie Vincent. Plus, music from Antony Szmerek. 1.00 The Dog House (R) 2.00 Our Farm Next Door: Amanda, Clive And Kids The renovation of the abandoned farmhouse hits its one-year anniversary. (R) 3.05 Worst House On The Street A single mum in Bristol needs help transforming her fixer-upper house. (R) 4.10 Location, Location House-hunting in the North East with two sets of buyers. (R) 5.15 Devon And Cornwall (R) 6.00 Channel 4 News Including sport and weather.	6.00 Milkshake! Children's shows, including: 8.05 Animal Care Club 8.25 The Smurfs 8.35 The Creature Cases (R) 8.50 The Patrick Star Show (R) 9.05 Entertainment News On 5 Showbiz news and gossip. 9.15 FILM: Lemony Snicket's A Series Of Unfortunate Events (PG/2004) Comedy adventure starring Jim Carrey and and Meryl Streep. 11.10 Happy Campers: The Caravan Park (R) 12.05 Cruising With Susan Calman Double bill. (R) 2.00 Hippo Watch With Steve Backshall Double bill. (R) 4.00 Stockholm With Michael Portillo Michael spends a midwinter weekend in the Swedish capital. (R) 5.30 When Motorways Go Horribly Wrong First-hand accounts of drivers who came to a grinding halt, road users who failed to put their brain into gear, and more life-or-death situations. (R) 6.55 News The headlines.
Film: Darkest Hour, 8pm Gary Oldman as Winston Churchill	Blue Planet Revisited: A Shark's Tale, 8pm With Steve Backshall	Film: No Time To Die, 9pm Daniel Craig in his final outing as 007	The Piano, 9pm Mika chooses the performance of the night	Inside The Four Seasons: Park Lane, 8pm Carlos creates cocktails
7.00 Antiques Roadshow: VJ Day Special 2/19 Special episode marking the 80th anniversary of VJ Day at the National Memorial Arboretum in Staffordshire, featuring contributions from two war veterans. (R) 8.00 FILM: Darkest Hour (PG/2017) Prime Minister Winston Churchill seeks to rally the nation against Germany's advance across Western Europe. Period drama starring Gary Oldman, Lily James and Kristin Scott Thomas. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 Regional News; Weather 10.30 Match Of The Day Highlights of the latest Premier League matches, featuring Brighton & Hove Albion v Aston Villa, Newcastle United v Liverpool and Manchester City v Bournemouth. 11.30 FILM: Edge Of Darkness (15/2010) Thriller based on the 1985 BBC series starring Mel Gibson. 1.20 BBC News	7.00 Force Of Nature 5/6 Andrew Lincoln narrates a look at how new extremes of heat and drought are pushing the extraordinary behavioural and physical adaptations of wombats, leopards and kangaroo rats. 8.00 FILM: No Time To Die (12/2021) James Bond sets off on the trail of an enigmatic villain armed with lethal new technology. Action thriller starring Daniel Craig, Lea Seydoux and Rami Malek. 11.00 ITV News; Weather 11.20 One Dollar 1/10 Mystery thriller set in a small rust bell town in post-recession America following a one-dollar bill that keeps changing hands. Stars John Carroll Lynch. 12.20 The Staircase In 2001, an ill-fated Thanksgiving leaves Kathleen stressed and Margaret with questions about her past, while Sophie launches her own investigation five years later. Drama, with Toni Collette.	7.00 Force Of Nature 5/6 Andrew Lincoln narrates a look at how new extremes of heat and drought are pushing the extraordinary behavioural and physical adaptations of wombats, leopards and kangaroo rats. 8.00 FILM: No Time To Die (12/2021) James Bond sets off on the trail of an enigmatic villain armed with lethal new technology. Action thriller starring Daniel Craig, Lea Seydoux and Rami Malek. 11.05 FILM: Boston Strangler (15/2023) Reporters Loretta McLaughlin and Jean Cole encounter sexism while investigating the Boston Strangler murders of the 1960s. Drama starring Keira Houghtley. 1.05 Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares USA (R)	6.30 Formula 1: Dutch Grand Prix Highlights Steve Jones presents action from the 12th race of the season, which came from the Circuit Zandvoort. With analysis provided by David Coulthard and Billy Monger. 9.00 The Piano 7/7 Claudia Winkleman, Mika, and guest judge Alice Sara Ott head for the Birmingham Symphony Hall, where six amateur pianists perform at a sold-out concert. 10.00 Gogglebox The armchair critics share their opinions on shows including Stranger Things, Strictly Come Dancing, Celebrity Scam Interceptors, Malice and Songs of Praise. (R) 11.05 FILM: Boston Strangler (15/2023) Reporters Loretta McLaughlin and Jean Cole encounter sexism while investigating the Boston Strangler murders of the 1960s. Drama starring Keira Houghtley. 1.05 Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares USA (R)	7.00 Cycling: Vuelta A España 2026 Rebecca Charlton presents action from stage two of the Grand Tour race, a hilly 214.3km route from the Place du Palais Princier in Monaco to Manosque in France. 8.00 Inside The Four Seasons: Park Lane 4/5 A fire breaks out at Heathrow, shutting down two terminals and wreaking havoc on the hotels room occupancy as guests are unable to check out. 9.00 Rich House, Poor House Two West Yorkshire families with a passion for upcycling swap lives, with millionaires Katy and Peter trading their Halifax home for Richard and Sarah's terraced house in Bradford. (R) 10.00 When Honeymoons Go Horribly Wrong 4/5 A newlywed is bitten by a shark in the Bahamas. (R) 11.30 Britain's Worst Weather Disasters 2/2 The concluding part looks at the catastrophic floods of 1953. (R) 12.50 Entertainment News On 5

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15

Monday August 24

BBC1 SPM 6.00 Breakfast 9.30 Morning Live: Top Tips And Best Bits 10.30 Garden Rescue (R) 11.15 Homes Under The Hammer (R) 12.15 Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News 1.35 Regional News 1.45 BBC News 2.00 Money For Nothing 2.45 Escape To The Country 3.30 The Repair Shop (R) 4.30 The Answer Run (R) 5.15 Pointless (R) 6.00 BBC News 6.30 Regional News 7.00 The One Show Roman Kemp and Lauren Laverne present topical stories. 7.30 EastEnders Priya and Jean join forces in a bid to uncover the truth. 8.00 Sort Your Life Out With Stacey Solomon 1/7 (R) 9.00 Death In Paradise 8/9 A prestigious chess match ends in murder. (R) 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.30 Regional News; Weather 10.40 Have I Got News For You 7/10 Satirical quiz. (R) 11.10 FILM: Emily (15/2022) Drama with Emma Mackey. 1.15 BBC News

BBC2 7.30PM 6.15 The Answer Run (R) 7.00 Sign Zone: The Repair Shop (R) 8.00 Match Of The Day (R) 9.00 BBC News 1.00 Richard Osman's House Of Games (R) 1.30 The Edge (R) 2.15 Do You Know Your Place? (R) 2.45 Animal Park (R) 3.30 Serengeti II (R) 4.30 Vintage Antiques Roadshow (R) 5.15 Flog It! (R) 6.00 Richard Osman's House Of Games (R) 6.30 Great Continental Railway Journeys (R) 7.00 Global Eye Investigations from BBC correspondents. 7.30 Mastermind Specialist subjects include the Tour de France in the 21st century. 8.00 Only Connect 8.30 University Challenge 9.00 Buried With Michael Sheen 2/2 Investigating allegations of toxic contamination. 10.00 Mortimer & Whitehouse: Gone Fishing 5/6 (R) 10.30 Newsnight 11.05 FILM: Jaws 2 (PG/1978) Thriller sequel starring Roy Scheider and Lorraine Gary. 12.55 Sign Zone: Countryfile (R)

ITV1 SPM 6.00 Good Morning Britain 10.00 This Morning 1.30 ITV News 1.55 Local News 2.00 Dickinson's Real Deal (R) 3.00 Deal Or No Deal (R) 4.00 Tipping Point (R) 5.00 The Chase (R) 6.00 Local News; Weather 6.30 ITV News 7.30 Fletchers' Family Farm 4/10 Liz and Kelvin try working with sheepdogs. (R) 8.00 Emmerdale It is Joe and Dawn's wedding day. 8.30 Coronation Street Tim makes a confession to Lucy. 9.00 Long Lost Family: Born Without Trace - What Happened Next Davina McCall and Nicky Campbell find out what happened to foundling Natasha and her full sister Lee-Ann, who were left in hospitals as babies less than two years apart. 10.00 ITV News; Weather 10.30 Local News; Weather 10.45 FILM: Rush Hour (12/1998) Comedy adventure starring Jackie Chan and Ken Leung. 12.25 Shop On TV

CHANNEL 4 SPM 6.30 The King Of Queens (R) 7.45 Everybody Loves Raymond (R) 9.10 Frasier (R) 11.10 Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares USA (R) 12.05 Channel 4 News Summary 12.10 Find It, Fix It, Flog It (R) 1.10 The Great House Giveaway (R) 2.10 Countdown 3.00 A Place In The Sun (R) 4.00 The Great B&B Challenge (R) 5.00 Chateau DIY (R) 6.00 American Pickers (R) 7.00 Channel 4 News 8.00 Martin & Roman's Irish Road Trip 3/3 Martin and Roman Kemp head to snowy Northern Ireland. 9.00 Celebrity Hunted 7/8 Two runners make a high-risk appearance at Bristol Pride. 10.00 Secret Lives Of Gypsy Wives 6/6 Trewley's sister Pearly tries on fairytale wedding dresses. 11.05 Celebrity Gogglebox 1/6 A rolling cast of famous faces critique the week's biggest TV shows. (R) 12.05 Emergency Helicopter Medics Documentary. (R)

SPM 6.00 Milkshake! 9.15 Jeremy Vine 11.30 Storm & Alexis 12.45 News 12.50 Matt Allwright 2.20 FILM: A View To Kill For (PG/2023) Thriller starring Tiffany Montgomery 4.00 Castle (R) 4.55 Love Nature (R) 5.00 News 6.00 Motorhoming With Merton & Webster (R) 6.55 News 7.00 Cycling: Vuelta A España 2026 Action from stage three of the Grand Tour race, a 174km mountain route from Gruissan to Font-Romeu. 7.55 News The headlines. 8.00 Street Cops: Catching The Yobs A rapid response unit of armed officers are called to Northampton high street. 9.00 Fare Dodgers: At War With The Law TIL investigators prepare to track down a suspected serial fare evader. 10.00 Police Interceptors: Taking Down The Shoplifting Gangs 4/4 Officers question two people suspected of being tied to shop thefts. (R) 11.05 Traffic Cops 9/20 (R) 12.05 Police Interceptors (R)

Tuesday August 25

BBC1 SPM 6.00 Breakfast 9.30 Morning Live: Top Tips And Best Bits 10.30 Garden Rescue (R) 11.15 Homes Under The Hammer 12.15 Bargain Hunt (R) 1.00 BBC News 1.35 Regional News 1.45 BBC News 2.00 Money For Nothing 2.45 Escape To The Country 3.30 The Repair Shop (R) 4.30 The Answer Run (R) 5.15 Pointless (R) 6.00 BBC News 6.30 Regional News 7.00 The One Show 7.30 EastEnders Eve and Suki receive a devastating update. 8.00 The Great British Sewing Bee 7/10 In the quarter final, the sewers face the challenges of music week. 9.00 Celebrity MasterChef 4/15 Emily Steel, Niko Ganatra, Tom Simons, Donna Preston and Eric Underwood compete. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.30 Regional News; Weather 10.40 FILM: Arthur The King (12/2024) Drama starring Mark Wahlberg. 12.20 The Hit List (R)

BBC2 7.30PM 6.30 Bargain Hunt (R) 7.15 Money For Nothing (R) 8.00 Sign Zone: The Great British Sewing Bee (R) 9.00 BBC News 1.00 Richard Osman's House Of Games (R) 1.30 The Edge (R) 2.15 Do You Know Your Place? (R) 2.45 Animal Park (R) 3.30 Serengeti II (R) 4.30 Vintage Antiques Roadshow (R) 5.15 Flog It! (R) 6.00 Richard Osman's House Of Games (R) 6.30 Great Continental Railway Journeys (R) 7.00 Nigellissima 4/6 (R) 7.30 Race Against The Tide 2/6 Six teams sculpt what home means to them. 8.00 Saving Lives At Sea 2/10 A mayday comes in from a yacht of the Norfolk coast. 9.00 Emergency 24/7 2/6 10.00 Live At The Apollo 4/7 (R) 10.30 Newsnight 11.05 The Vampire Lestat: Interview With The Vampire 7/7 11.55 A House Through Time (R) 12.55 Sign Zone: Celebrity MasterChef (R)

ITV1 7.30PM 6.00 Good Morning Britain 10.00 This Morning 1.30 ITV News; Weather 1.55 Local News; Weather 2.00 Dickinson's Real Deal (R) 3.00 Deal Or No Deal (R) 4.00 Tipping Point (R) 5.00 The Chase (R) 6.00 Local News; Weather 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.30 EFL Carabao Cup Live Nottingham Forest v Leeds United (kick-off 8pm). Mark Pougatich presents all the action from the second-round tie at The City Ground. With commentary from Sam Matterface and Lucy Ward, and pitchside reports by Gabriel Clarke. 10.25 ITV News; Weather 11.00 Local News; Weather 11.15 Long Lost Family: Born Without Trace - What Happened Next Davina McCall and Nicky Campbell find out what happened to Natasha and her sister Lee-Ann, who were both abandoned as babies. (R) 12.10 Shop On TV

CHANNEL 4 SPM 6.30 The King Of Queens (R) 7.45 Everybody Loves Raymond (R) 9.10 Frasier (R) 11.10 Ramsay's 24 Hours To Hell And Back (R) 12.05 Channel 4 News Summary 12.10 Find It, Fix It, Flog It (R) 1.10 The Great House Giveaway (R) 2.10 Countdown 3.00 A Place In The Sun (R) 4.00 The Great B&B Challenge (R) 5.00 Chateau DIY (R) 6.00 American Pickers (R) 7.00 Channel 4 News 8.00 The Dog House 2/7 Parents think a dog can wear out two-year-old toddler. (R) 9.00 Celebrity Hunted 8/8 The remaining fugitives gather for their extraction details. 10.00 24 Hours In A&E 8/10 Harry needs attention having badly cut his head crashing his electric scooter. (R) 11.05 24 Hours In A&E 7/10 Three pedestrians are brought in to Queen's after a car mounted the pavement. (R) 12.05 Building Monaco's Superhomes (R)

SPM 6.00 Milkshake! 9.15 Jeremy Vine 11.30 Storm & Alexis 12.45 News 12.50 Matt Allwright 2.20 FILM: A Killer In The Family (PG/2023) Thriller starring Zoe Christie and Quinten James. 4.00 Castle (R) 4.55 Love Nature (R) 5.00 News 6.00 Motorhoming With Merton & Webster (R) 6.55 News 7.00 Cycling: Vuelta A España 2026 Rebecca Charlton presents action from stage four of the Grand Tour race. 8.00 Motorway Cops: Catching Britain's Speeders On the M6, officers are called in after a car fails to stop for Cheshire Police. 9.00 The Tudors With Rob Rinder And Ruth Goodman A look at when England braced for the arrival of the Spanish Armada in 1588. 10.30 Murder On The Doorstep: Who Killed Alistair Wilson? Examining the 2004 murder of a Scottish banker. (R) 12.05 Nigel Farage: Where Does The Money Come From? (R)

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Wednesday August 26

6.00 Breakfast 9.30 Morning Live: Top Tips And Best Bits 10.30 Garden Rescue (R) 11.15 Homes Under The Hammer (R) 12.15 Bargain Hunt (R) 1.00 BBC News 1.35 Regional News 1.45 BBC News 2.00 Money For Nothing 2.45 Escape To The Country (R) 3.30 The Repair Shop (R) 4.30 The Answer Run (R) 5.15 Pointless (R) 6.00 BBC News 6.30 Regional News 7.00 The One Show 7.30 EastEnders Alfie throws Kat a surprise party. 8.00 Fake Or Fortune: What Happened Next? 6/6 9.00 Celebrity MasterChef 5/15 TV and radio broadcaster Zoe Ball asks the celebrities to make their ultimate pudding. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.30 Regional News; Weather 10.40 MGT: Uefa Champions League Football highlights. 11.30 FILM: The Shallows (15/2016) Thriller starring Blake Lively and Brett Cullen. 12.55 BBC News

6.30 Escape To The Country (R) 7.15 Money For Nothing (R) 8.00 Sign Zone: Great Continental Railway Journeys (R) 9.00 BBC News 1.00 Richard Osman's House Of Games (R) 1.30 The Edge (R) 2.15 Do You Know Your Place? (R) 2.45 Animal Park (R) 3.30 Serengeti III (R) 4.30 Vintage Antiques Roadshow (R) 5.10 Flog It! (R) 6.00 Richard Osman's House Of Games (R) 6.30 Great Continental Railway Journeys (R) 7.00 Celebrity Antiques Road Trip 6/20 Leslie Ash and Phil Daniels compete. (R) 8.00 Inside The Factory 2/6 Finding out how Warburton make their products. (R) 9.00 9/11: Inside The President's War Room How George W Bush and his staff dealt with the September 11 attack. (R) 10.30 Newsnight 11.05 Couples Therapy 4/9 11.30 Couples Therapy 5/9 12.00 Buried With Michael Sheen 2/2 (R)

6.00 Good Morning Britain 10.00 This Morning 1.30 ITV News; Weather 1.55 Local News; Weather 2.00 Dickinson's Real Deal (R) 3.00 Deal Or No Deal (R) 4.00 Tipping Point (R) 5.00 The Chase (R) 6.00 Local News; Weather 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.30 Celebrity Lingo 9/10 Judy Murray and Mark Pougatich take on Helen Skelton and Ray Wilding. (R) 8.00 Emmerdale Dawn has a big decision to make. 8.30 Coronation Street Bethany spots blood on Kit's shirt. 9.00 Professor T 2/6 Jasper is visiting a retirement home with Zelda when one of the residents apparently kills a woman but there may be more to the perplexing case than meets the eye. 10.00 ITV News; Weather 10.30 Local News; Weather 10.45 FILM: Spectre (12/2015) James Bond thriller starring Daniel Craig. 11.10 Shop On TV

6.30 The King Of Queens (R) 7.45 Everybody Loves Raymond (R) 9.10 Frasier (R) 11.10 Ramsay's 24 Hours To Hell And Back (R) 12.05 Channel 4 News Summary 12.10 Find It, Fix It, Flog It (R) 1.10 The Great House Giveaway (R) 2.10 Countdown 3.00 A Place In The Sun (R) 4.00 The Great B&B Challenge (R) 5.00 Chateau DIY (R) 6.00 American Pickers (R) 7.00 Channel 4 News 8.00 Kirstie And Phil's Love It Or List It: Brilliant Builds New series. Kirstie Allsopp and Phil Spencer interrogate the cardinal sin of wasted space. 9.00 The Murder Detective 1/3 The investigation into the murder of Lyra McKee. 10.00 The Never Ending Murder 1/4 The case of Nicola Payne, who went missing in 1991. 11.05 The Never Ending Murder 2/4 The police begin their forensic investigation. 12.05 Spy Next Door: The Anna Chapman Story (R)

6.00 Milkshake! 9.15 Jeremy Vine 11.30 Storm & Alexis 12.45 News 12.50 Matt Allwright 2.20 FILM: Reality Bites (PG/2025) Premiere. Mystery starring Alison Sweeney and Victor Webster. 4.00 Castle (R) 4.55 Love Nature (R) 5.00 News 6.00 Motorhoming With Merton & Webster (R) 6.55 News 7.00 Cycling: Vuelta A España 2026 Action from stage five of the Grand Tour race, a hilly 173.4km route from Falset to Roquetes. 7.55 News 8.00 Call The Bailiffs: Time To Pay Up New series. Agents attempt to recover a debt owed by an estate agent to a former client. 9.00 The Great Wall Of China With Dan Snow Dan Snow heads to China to find out more about the country's iconic landmark. 10.30 A&E: Crash Scene Emergency (R) 11.30 Ambulance: Code Red (R) 12.30 Cops (R)

Thursday August 27

6.00 Breakfast 9.30 Morning Live: Top Tips And Best Bits 10.30 Garden Rescue (R) 11.15 Homes Under The Hammer 12.15 Bargain Hunt (R) 1.00 BBC News 1.35 Regional News 1.45 BBC News 2.00 Money For Nothing 2.45 Escape To The Country (R) 3.30 The Repair Shop (R) 4.30 The Answer Run (R) 5.15 Pointless (R) 6.00 BBC News 6.30 Regional News 7.00 The One Show 7.30 EastEnders 8.00 Dragons' Den 9/14 Pitches include a gadget for tackling water waste. 9.00 Ludwig 2/6 A murder is witnessed by an entire wedding party. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.30 Regional News; Weather 10.40 The Truth About My Murder 4/6 A murderer who used the Covid lockdown to cover up his crime. 11.20 The Truth About My Murder 5/6 12.00 The Truth About My Murder 6/6

6.30 Escape To The Country (R) 7.15 Money For Nothing (R) 8.00 Sign Zone: Celebrity MasterChef (R) 9.00 BBC News 1.00 Richard Osman's House Of Games (R) 1.30 The Edge (R) 2.15 Do You Know Your Place? (R) 2.45 Animal Park (R) 3.30 Serengeti III (R) 4.30 Vintage Antiques Roadshow (R) 5.05 Flog It! (R) 6.00 Richard Osman's House Of Games (R) 6.30 Great Continental Railway Journeys (R) 7.00 Today At The Test England v Pakistan. 8.00 The Big Deal With Steph McGovern 3/6 The pairs are tested on their ability to sell to the public. 9.00 A House Through Time 3/4 Charting history through the successive inhabitants of a house. 10.00 Red Dwarf 3/6 (R) 10.30 Newsnight 11.05 Emergency 24/7 2/6 (R) 12.05 FILM: Dear Evan Hansen (12/2021) Musical drama starring Ben Platt.

6.00 Good Morning Britain 10.00 This Morning 1.30 ITV News; Weather 1.55 Local News; Weather 2.00 Dickinson's Real Deal (R) 3.00 Deal Or No Deal (R) 4.00 Tipping Point (R) 5.00 The Chase (R) 6.00 Local News; Weather 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.30 It'll Be Alright On The Night A selection of TV changers featuring Joel Dommett and Romesh Ranganathan. 8.00 Emmerdale A wave of shock and horror passes through the village. 8.30 Coronation Street Sarah fears she has placed Harry in harm's way. 9.00 Beat The Chasers 2/8 Bradley Walsh hosts as contestants from across the UK take on the experts. (R) 10.00 ITV News; Weather 10.30 Local News; Weather 10.45 FILM: No Time To Die (12/2021) James Bond thriller starring Daniel Craig and Rami Malek. 1.25 Shop On TV

6.30 The King Of Queens (R) 7.45 Everybody Loves Raymond (R) 9.10 Frasier (R) 11.10 Ramsay's 24 Hours To Hell And Back (R) 12.05 Channel 4 News Summary 12.10 Find It, Fix It, Flog It (R) 1.10 The Great House Giveaway (R) 2.10 Countdown 3.00 A Place In The Sun (R) 4.00 The Great B&B Challenge (R) 5.00 Chateau DIY (R) 6.00 American Pickers (R) 7.00 Channel 4 News 8.00 Renovation Rescue A couple in West Yorkshire attempt to finish their eight-year renovation. 9.00 The Murder Detective 2/3 Murphy and his team recover a gun that may be linked to Lyra McKee's murder. 10.00 The Never Ending Murder 3/4 Twenty years on, new information and a new lead detective re-ignite the case. 11.00 The Never Ending Murder 4/4 Thirty years after Nicola's disappearance, some new information comes to light. 12.00 Crime Scene Cleaners (R)

6.00 Milkshake! 9.15 Jeremy Vine 11.30 Storm & Alexis 12.45 News 12.50 Matt Allwright 2.20 FILM: To Kill A Stepfather (PG/2023) Thriller starring Alex Camacho. 4.00 Castle 4.55 Love Nature (R) 5.00 News 6.00 Motorhoming With Merton & Webster (R) 6.55 News 7.00 Cycling: Vuelta A España 2026 Rebecca Charlton presents action from stage six of the Grand Tour race. 7.55 News 8.00 The Yorkshire Vet Matt Smith tests a couple of badger cubs for TB. 9.00 Benidorm Is Murder 5/6 Dennis and Rosa investigate the death of a man after a jellyfish incident. 10.00 Killer At The Crime Scene Examining the murder of neuroscientist Autumn Klein. 11.05 Fatal First Dates True crime documentary that uncovers the terrifying reality behind modern romance. 12.05 Street Cops: Catching The Yoke Documentary. (R)

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Friday August 28

BBC1 10.40PM 6.00 Breakfast 9.30 Morning Live: Top Tips And Best Bits 10.30 Garden Rescue (R) 11.15 Homes Under The Hammer (R) 12.15 Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News 1.35 Regional News 1.45 BBC News 2.00 Sister Boniface Mysteries 2.45 Escape To The Country (R) 3.30 The Repair Shop (R) 4.30 The Answer Run (R) 5.15 Pointless (R) 6.00 BBC News 6.30 Regional News 7.00 The One Show With Lauren Laverne and Angelica Bell. 7.30 The Travelling Auctioneers 2/20 Helping a widow raise money for charity (R) 8.00 Celebrity MasterChef 6/15 9.00 Would I Lie To You? 6/9 (R) 9.30 Mrs Brown's Boys 1/7 (R) 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.30 Regional News: Weather 10.40 Fontaines DC @ Reading Festival 2026 Live coverage of the headline set. 12.10 FILM: Stan & Ollie (PG/2018) Biopic of Laurel and Hardy starring Steve Coogan and John C Reilly.

BBC2 9PM 6.15 Homes Under The Hammer (R) 7.15 Money For Nothing (R) 8.00 Sign Zone: A House Through Time (R) 9.00 BBC News 1.00 Richard Osman's House Of Games (R) 1.30 The Edge (R) 2.15 Do You Know Your Place? (R) 2.45 Animal Park (R) 3.30 Serengeti III (R) 4.30 Vintage Antiques Roadshow (R) 5.25 Flog It! (R) 6.00 Richard Osman's House Of Games (R) 6.30 Great Continental Railway Journeys (R) 7.00 Today At The Test England v Pakistan. The second day of the Second Test in the three-match series. 8.00 Gardeners' World Rekha Mistry shares the results of her container challenge. 9.00 The Marlow Murder Club 1/2 Drama starring Samantha Bond. (R) 10.30 Newsnight 11.05 FILM: Tuesday (15/2023) Premiere. Drama starring Lola Petricrew. 12.45 Sign Zone: The Mother Of All Cows Factual crime. (R)

ITV1 9PM 6.00 Good Morning Britain 10.00 This Morning 1.30 ITV News; Weather 1.55 Local News; Weather 2.00 Dickinson's Real Deal (R) 3.00 Deal Or No Deal (R) 4.00 Tipping Point (R) 5.00 The Chase (R) 6.00 Local News; Weather 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.30 Abbey Clancy: Celebrity Homes 1/6 Abbey visits homes belonging to Heidi Range and Jodie Kidd. 8.00 Emmerdale Caleb and Ruby share guilty looks. 8.30 Coronation Street Sarah and Kit each attempt to eliminate Kacey's threat. 9.00 The Rainmaker 1/10 A young lawyer tries to make a name for himself at a ramshackle firm. Drama starring Milo Callaghan and Lana Parrilla. 10.00 ITV News: Weather 10.15 FILM: Superman Returns (12/2006) Comic-book adventure starring Brandon Routh and Kevin Spacey. 12.50 Shop On TV

CHANNEL 4 9PM 6.30 The King Of Queens (R) 7.45 Everybody Loves Raymond (R) 9.10 Frasier (R) 11.10 Ramsay's 24 Hours To Hell And Back (R) 12.05 Channel 4 News Summary 12.10 Find It, Fix It, Flog It (R) 1.10 The Great House Giveaway (R) 2.10 Countdown 3.00 A Place In The Sun (R) 4.00 The Great B&B Challenge (R) 5.00 Chateau DIY (R) 6.00 American Pickers (R) 7.00 Channel 4 News 8.00 Jimmy Doherty's Big Bear Rescue The farmer tries to relocate two polar bears from Sweden to his wildlife park in Suffolk. (R) 9.00 The Murder Detective 3/3 After years of investigation, lead detective Jason Murphy is ready to make his boldest move yet. 10.10 The Big Fat Quiz Of Telly With contestants including Harry Hill, Judi Love and Tom Allen. (R) 12.10 FILM: 127 Hours (15/2010) Drama starring James Franco and Kate Mara.

5 9PM 6.00 Milkshake! 9.15 Jeremy Vine 11.30 Storm & Alexis 12.45 News 12.50 Matt Allwright 2.20 FILM: Deadly Girls Trip (12/2025) Thriller starring Kristi Murdock. 4.00 Castle 4.55 Love Nature (R) 5.00 News 6.00 Motorhoming With Merton & Webster (R) 6.55 News 7.00 Cycling: Vuelta A España 2026 Action from stage seven of the Grand Tour race, a 149.8km mountain route beginning in Vall d'Alba and finishing in Aramon Valdelinares. 7.55 News 8.00 Alexander Armstrong In Sri Lanka 3/3 The presenter moves north into Tamil country. (R) 9.00 Heat 3/4 The truth behind Tom's injury is revealed. (R) 10.00 Heat 4/4 Terror sets in when Tom does not return to the house. (R) 11.05 When TV News Goes Horribly Wrong Mishaps on live news broadcasts. (R) 1.00 Cruise TV with LoveitBookit

Saturday August 29

BBC1 6.20PM 6.00 Breakfast 10.00 Saturday Kitchen 11.30 Anna Haugh's Big Irish Food Tour (R) 12.00 Bargain Hunt (R) 12.45 The Football Interview 1.00 BBC News; Weather 1.15 Money For Nothing (R) 2.00 Homes Under The Hammer (R) 3.00 Escape To The Country (R) 3.45 Final Score 5.15 BBC News 5.25 Regional News 5.35 The Hit List 6.20 Alan Carr's Celebrity Picture Slam 7.10 FILM: Paddington 2 (PG/2017) Comedy adventure with the voice of Ben Whishaw. 8.50 The Weakest Link 11/16 (R) 9.35 Ghosts 2/7 Mary walks Julian through her journey of self-discovery. (R) 10.05 BBC News: Weather 10.25 Match Of The Day Highlights of the latest Premier League matches. 11.35 Rape @ Reading Festival 2026 The singer-songwriter performs in the second headline slot of the day. 12.55 BBC News

BBC2 9PM 6.15 Children's Shows 9.00 Gardeners' World (R) 10.00 This Wild Life (R) 10.30 FILM: Laura (U/1944) Murder mystery with Dana Andrews. 11.55 The Great British Sewing Bee (R) 12.55 Race Against The Tide (R) 1.25 FILM: Beaches (12/1988) Drama starring Bette Midler. 3.20 FILM: Evil Under The Sun (PG/1982) Hercule Poirot mystery starring Peter Ustinov. 5.15 Super League Live. Wakefield Trinity v York Knights (kick-off 5.30pm). 7.30 Celebrating James Bond At The Proms The BBC Concert Orchestra play music from the Bond films. 9.00 Wham! 10 Days In China Documentary about the group's two concerts in China in 1985. 10.25 Wham! At The BBC Archive performances by the group. (R) 11.35 TOTP 1985: Big Hits Music by Wham!, Eurythmics and Tears for Fears. (R) 12.35 Today At The Test (R)

ITV1 9PM 6.00 FILM: For Your Eyes Only (PG/1981) James Bond spy thriller starring Roger Moore. 8.25 Prue Leith's Cotswold Kitchen 9.25 ITV News 9.30 James Martin's Saturday Morning 12.00 EFL Live. Middlesbrough v West Bromwich Albion (kick-off 12.30pm). 2.55 FILM: Never Say Never Again (PG/1983) James Bond thriller starring Sean Connery. 5.25 ITV News; Weather 5.45 Local News; Weather 6.00 The Chase Celebrity Special (R) 7.00 The Voice UK 2/10 Emma Willis hosts the singing contest, with coaches Tom Jones, Will.i.am, Kelly Rowland and McFly duo Tom Fletcher and Danny Jones assessing more acts. 8.15 The 1% Club 16/16 Quiz hosted by Lee Mack. (R) 9.15 ITV News: Weather 9.30 FILM: Man Of Steel (12/2013) Superhero adventure starring Henry Cavill. 12.00 English Football League Highlights Recent action.

CHANNEL 4 9PM 6.00 Cheers (R) 7.45 Everybody Loves Raymond (R) 9.10 Superhero Tin 2026 9.55 Frasier (R) 11.25 The Simpsons (R) 1.50 Four In A Bed (R) 4.25 George Clarke's Amazing Spaces (R) 5.30 Grand Designs (R) 6.30 Channel 4 News 7.00 Sandi Toksvig's Hidden Wonders 3/4 Sandi takes her first ever trip to Hadrian's Wall in Northumberland. (R) 8.00 FILM: Black Panther (12/2018) The new ruler of a hidden African nation faces a challenge for his throne. Comic-book adventure starring Chadwick Boseman and Michael B Jordan. 10.45 FILM: Terminator: Dark Fate (15/2019) Sarah Connor must stop an advanced liquid Terminator from hunting down a young girl, whose fate is critical to the human race. Sci-fi with Arnold Schwarzenegger. 1.00 White Ant Short film.

5 9PM 6.00 Milkshake! 9.00 Entertainment News On 5 9.10 The King's Guard: Serving The Crown (R) 10.00 Westminster Abbey: Behind Closed Doors (R) 1.00 The Royals: Uncensored 2.00 Coastal Adventures With Helen, Jules & JB (R) 4.00 Passage To India: A Yorkshire Vet Special (R) 5.00 Tommy Cooper: 30 Funniest Moments (R) 6.55 News 7.00 Cycling: Vuelta A España 2026 Highlights of stage eight of the Grand Tour race. 8.00 Andrew, Fergie & The Scandal Of SouthYork The controversy surrounding Sunninghill Park in Berkshire. (R) 9.00 9/11: The Unseen Footage The story of the 11 September 2001 terrorist attacks told through previously unseen footage. 10.30 FILM: Kinky Boots (12/2005) Comedy drama starring Chiwetel Ejiofor. 12.35 George Michael: The Man & The Music (R)

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CALL NOW ON 0800 169 4748 TO GET YOUR DREAM KITCHEN IN AUGUST

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0800 169 4748 kitchen-magic.com

Please quote offer code M0523/08, lines open 7 days a week. Kitchen Magic Limited, Forward Park, 3/5 Corporation Street, Birmingham B4 1DS

Kitchen Magic

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Gtech 🏠 Cleaning up messes before they take over

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"We designed the HT50 to make maintaining tall hedges safer, quicker and easier. Add the Branch Cutter Attachment and it becomes an even more versatile tool for tougher garden jobs."

Nick Grey Inventor & Founder

Gtech 🏠

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†Delivery is free to all UK addresses. All other orders for spares and accessories only, will incur a £3.99 delivery charge. Next Day Delivery UK mainland only (excludes highlands). Visit Gtech.co.uk for full T&Cs.

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Post to: Living Range, Discount Code ESH237, Unit 9, Romsey Ind. Est., Greatbridge Road, Romsey, Hampshire SO51 0HR

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☐	1 Electric Shaver	£79.95 £49.95
☐	HALF PRICE DEAL SAVE £50.00 (30%)
☐	2 Electric Shavers	£59.90 £79.90
☑	WITH FREE DELIVERY

TOTAL £

We will send you other offers for this anti-smoker products. If you do not want these offers for this box ☐ We may also share your postal details with selected charities and approved companies using similar health and lifestyle products. If you do not want these offers for this box ☐ If you have bought a health product, these offers will be tailored to similar health products, so they are relevant to you. If you are happy to have these offers tailored like this, tick here ☐

Delivery within a week (out dates 2 days, federal policy of 90 days, if not all times are returned, or for what purpose). Note free trial offers for first order only. Offer non-saleable. All orders are subject to a 12/18/2024 processing fee. Privacy policy, www.livingrange.co.uk/privacy or call back to the cardholders above Living Range is a trading style of Prime Star Shop Ltd. (Prime Star Shop Ltd.)